Gentlemen, Is chivalry dead?

[Mistermixmaster]

Chivalry is definately dying... I tried the whole chivalry thing once with opening a door for a woman and got laughed at (she thought it was funny because it was "just like the old days").

Being a gentleman is underrated, which I find a shame, as I enjoy acting like one =/

 

[SwimmingRock]

Well, chivalry implies that you are doing a nice action mainly for the reason that the person in question is a female, which distinguishes it from simply "being nice".

I have heard people say that they have been scolded by women for holding a door open for them, the women citing that this is "anti-feminist" or "partronising" or something. However, if I was in that same situation, my answer would be that I also hold the door open for men, because I'm generally a nice guy.

So what I'm saying is that chivalry strikes me, on reflection, as "selective niceness". If you want true equality, without the death of "chivalry", you hold doors open for men and women.

Doesn't matter, mate. They don't know that you also hold doors for men and won't believe you when you tell them. Trust me. Even if you hold the door for a male and female at the same time, she'll assume you're being patronizing to her. Or maybe it's just me. Perhaps if I were attractive it would be sweet instead of patronizing. Who knows?

 

[DonMartin]

As I am pressed for time, I'll just point you fine gentlemen in this direction pursuant to my thoughts on the matter:

Chivalry: Taking It Back [http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/2010/04/15/chivalry-taking-it-back/]

Excellent link, old chum. My compliments on that fine fedora of yours, too. /monocle!

 

[Jedamethis]

Oh, almost forgot.

If I might be so bold...

 

[DeepComet5581]

Why, old chap. Of course Chivarly isn't dead.

Why, 'pon the 'morrow of the coming Tuesday I shall prove this very fact.

*dons Overcoat and Monocle*

 

[archvile93]

Chivalry is just disguised chauvanism. I hope it dies. You shouldn't be polite to somebody because they're a woman, you should be polite to everybody who's not an asshole because it's the right thing to to do.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I think it has been diluted quite a bit but not really totally gone. If I'm out with a girl and she is freezing cold, I will offer my coat. If we are eating out, I offer to pay. I don't insist to pay for the food but I offer.

[sub][sub]Anyone know a good place to buy a monocle?[/sub][/sub]

 

[Jake the Snake]

I'm a very chivalrous person. Girls deserve your respect and attention because well, they're girls, and therefore smarter than you. BOW TO YOUR SUPERIORS...or just hold the door open for them, that's cool too.

 

[zehydra]

Chivalry came about as ways to behave around a lady (and not specifically females, your lord's wife, or Queen).

Somewhere along the line, this notion of respecting and showing love to your lord's wife transformed into being "A Gentlemen" to ALL females, regardless of nobility or leadership.

Chivalry is more than just manners, it's specifically oriented towards one gender, and that kind of social inequality really has no place in a society that highly values gender equality.

 

[hurfdurp]

Just omit the word 'chivalry' from your vocabulary and replace it with 'decency' . Think of the genders as people instead, give your coat to anyone who seems in need of it. Have compassion for anyone.

 

[Randam]

Chivalry is not dead. Chivalry can't die from a few "What you don't think I can take care of myself?" and a slap or two on the face. Feminism is taking itself to a new level if you ask me. The thing in my honest opinion is that, chivalry is just being good to other people. I myself try to treat everybody better, no mater the gender. As for the ladies, I've got one, so no chap, chivalry isn't even close to dying.

 

[Zorg Machine]

I am a gentleman. or at least, I try to be.
Chivalry will never die. Asshats will come and go but there will always be one person, somewhere who can be depended on to act chivalrously.

 

[Blind Sight]

The Chap reminds me of http://artofmanliness.com/, also a great site for gentlemanly things.

It's funny you mention that actually, I was driving home with two girls I know yesterday. The whole ride home they discussed how many men have fucked them over and how all men are assholes. In the middle of it I said "here's a thought, have you ever actually dated a guy who came off as a gentleman?" They both laughed. Alot.

I definitely think that there's plenty of gentlemen left, but there's definitely a case of them dying out. However, that can easily be stopped. Check out some of the sites above, treat women decently, open doors for everyone, etc. Only you can prevent the general lack of respect that is going on in the social dating scene.

Chivalry is just disguised chauvanism. I hope it dies.

Yes, because treating women with respect and dignity is obviously chauvinism. Unless of course you're going with the medieval definition, but the majority of people here are talking about acting decent around women, as opposed to being a sexist scumbag. Being a gentleman goes farther then that as well, and focuses on being respectful of everyone.

Yes, chivalry is absolutely terrible, we wouldn't want people treating others NICELY, would we? /sarcasm

 

[quiet_samurai]

You can still be chivalrous and support equality. In the end it's really nothing more then having good manners and making people feel appreciated, and not necessarily those of the opposite sex exclusively. Anyone who says it supports inequality is either dumb or ungrateful.

 

[DonMartin]

Chivalry is not dead. Chivalry can't die from a few "What you don't think I can take care of myself?" and a slap or two on the face. Feminism is taking itself to a new level if you ask me. The thing in my honest opinion is that, chivalry is just being good to other people. I myself try to treat everybody better, no mater the gender. As for the ladies, I've got one, so no chap, chivalry isn't even close to dying.

You chose an excellent subject for your very first comment, it seems. Eh, old chum?

Welcome to the Escapist!

 

[Naheal]

Chivalry is as dead as a zombie.

 

[the Dept of Science]

I have heard people say that they have been scolded by women for holding a door open for them, the women citing that this is "anti-feminist" or "patronizing" or something.

I have never, EVER been chastised for holding the door for a lady. I think that woman today follow a more enlightened brand of "lipstick feminism" in which they define themselves as equal to men in most societal constructs, yet acknowledge their femininity as something to be celebrated in its purest form as well.
I often feel that we guys have yet to find a healthy balance between equality of the sexes and proper chauvinism when it is called for. Perhaps that's why we enjoy our video games? They allow for a chauvinist outlet that we might otherwise be neglecting.

Funny thing is that I really wasn't sure whether to give that as an example, because the only accounts I've heard were people on the internet and "friend of a friend" kindof things. I'm not sure if they were isolated incidents or really if they had happened at all.
However, your point about acknowledging femininity is something I was really trying hard to put my finger on. I beleive that women and men (generally) act differently, on a non-frivolous level, however, I was wondering how I could reconcile that belief with my "you should be equally nice to both men and women".
Thanks

 

[Myster XIII]

I blame Feminism. That and nobody has any self respect these days. Myself included. I will do ALOT of messed up things for just a hundred bucks.

 

[open trap]

I try to be as chivalris as possible, i often offer my jacket to a freezing woman and just am curdious over all, except in certain cituations of course.

 

[archvile93]

The Chap reminds me of http://artofmanliness.com/, also a great site for gentlemanly things.

It's funny you mention that actually, I was driving home with two girls I know yesterday. The whole ride home they discussed how many men have fucked them over and how all men are assholes. In the middle of it I said "here's a thought, have you ever actually dated a guy who came off as a gentleman?" They both laughed. Alot.

I definitely think that there's plenty of gentlemen left, but there's definitely a case of them dying out. However, that can easily be stopped. Check out some of the sites above, treat women decently, open doors for everyone, etc. Only you can prevent the general lack of respect that is going on in the social dating scene.

Chivalry is just disguised chauvanism. I hope it dies.

Yes, because treating women with respect and dignity is obviously chauvinism. Unless of course you're going with the medieval definition, but the majority of people here are talking about acting decent around women, as opposed to being a sexist scumbag. Being a gentleman goes farther then that as well, and focuses on being respectful of everyone.

Yes, chivalry is absolutely terrible, we wouldn't want people treating others NICELY, would we? /sarcasm

Read the rest of my post.