I can see the satire inherent in the topic, but I'm going to treat it as real for the time being, because it does make some genuine points. There seems to be some generalizations made in the whole friendzone/girlfriend zone issue. Those generalizations seem to infer that everything is a series of absolutes. Such as, if a girl you are friends with turns you down on that basis, you are friendzoned; wrong, you just aren't what they are looking for in a mate. Also, if the guy you want to be friends with decides he wants to try to date you, and you turn him down he won't be friends with you any longer; wrong again (though in fairness it does happen), most guys (at least the guys I know) will continue a friendship when turned down.
Many of the issues with both problems can be avoided by being upfront with your intentions. This is mostly for the aggressor in the exchange (I.E. the guy interested in the girl or the girl interested in the guy). When you go into the relationship, make sure they know your intentions. If they don't want to date you right away, but are willing to hang out as friends, then allow it to be a friendship. If things evolve from there, allow it to be organic and don't try to force feelings where there are none. Same deal with the recipient in the situation, most women know when a guy is sexually interested in her (though I'm sure not all, there are socially awkward women too after all). If you know a guy is interested in being more than friends, and you want to be his friend only. Make sure he knows that, and don't try to spare his feelings. If you nip it in the bud, it may hurt his feelings, but his pride will be intact. Most of the time when a guy avoids a girl after asking her out, it is because he feels emasculated and embarrassed. If you catch it early and make your feelings known, it won't avert his feelings, but it will give him the reality check needed to begin to move on. Once he has moved his feelings towards a more apt recipient, the friendship should be free to carry on as normal.
Please forgive any grammatical errors and spelling errors, I'm horribly tired right now and can't be arsed to proof read this.