Gordon Freeman is addicted to morphine.

[AntiAntagonist]

One of Umbrella Corp's lesser known experiments was a gas that induced stilted speech and poor motor skills... the product has been abandoned.

 

[Grayjack]

Peach is the mother of all the Koopa Kids.

 

[The Random One]

If Gordon Freeman could all of a suddenly talk he wouldn't stop swearing at his friends for making him do the things he does.

I am so certain this is canon.

 

[Hazy]

Bill is hogging all the damned Pills! Seriously man, how many do you need!?

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Kirby

Diagnosis: Bulimia Nervosa

 

[MercFox1]

JC Denton is merely paranoid.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Captain Falcon is not a Captain at all, but a Second Lieutenant with exceptional forgery skills.

 

[steve141761]

Captain Price uses 3 bottles of hair gel a morning for his mustache.

And, what makes you say Freeman is addicted to morphine?

"Fracture detected, administering, morphine..."

Fall more than twenty feet and you'll hear it...

 

[kommando367]

Chuck norris had a paper route when he was younger, there were no survivors.

Guilty spark nailed Cortana

Mario's mustache is 100% nose hair.

Dante used to work in an cheese factory in Italy.

Marcus fenix's first word was a billy bob thorton-eqse grunt

 

[UpSkirtDistress]

Lightsabers don't actually make that shooshy noise its just the people that hold them.

Star Fox is actually a metaphor for communism.

Someone who completed "Through the Fire and the Flames" on expert has actually had sex.

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

Princess Zelda was sent to a psychiatrist after Shiek was caught hitting on both Impa and Link at the same party.

Sonic the Hedgehog is currently in rehab, yet again, trying to get over his obsessive-compulsive hoarding problem... he was found with a trunk full of golden rings.

 

[quack35]

Off-topic: I realized something about Gears of War a while ago. It was a Fridge Brilliance moment. It actually makes sense for Marcus to be on steroids. If humanity was in danger of annihilation, wouldn't they want their troops to be as strong as possible? Why shouldn't they use steroids?

On topic:
The Prince from sands of time took the whole "Drink 8 glasses of water a day" thing to heart.

 

[butterkniferampage]

Yahtzee isn't really British, he's Australian and forgot.

 

[steve141761]

Lightsabers don't actually make that shooshy noise its just the people that hold them.

Star Fox is actually a metaphor for communism.

Someone who completed "Through the Fire and the Flames" on expert has actually had sex.

That last one... BLEW MY MIND... I refuse to believe that's possible...

 

[UpSkirtDistress]

Lightsabers don't actually make that shooshy noise its just the people that hold them.

Star Fox is actually a metaphor for communism.

Someone who completed "Through the Fire and the Flames" on expert has actually had sex.

That last one... BLEW MY MIND... I refuse to believe that's possible...

Trust me its not, the highest levels of sarcasm intended.

 

[thiosk]

Animal crossing?

Actually about dealing meth.

 

[soren7550]

Altair is a adrenalin junkie. (Why else would he frequently jump off of 500+ foot structures in the 12th century?)