Goth Mercenaries

[DemonBurn]

Ben, I have been following your reviews and I waste every 15 minutes, almost every Wednesday to watch your reviews and read your commentary. I agree that a game must stand on its single player alone, mostly because all of the greatest games (pacman, astroids, Super mario, etc.) were single player to help most shut ins get more hand-eye coordination and to tell them to give there wrist a rest. BUT, as games as Team Fortress 2, I was wondering how you would review such a game WITH NO SINGLE PLAYER..... and if a games demo, in which should never be reviewed b/c Its not the final product, is multiplayer, then how can you put a standard on the game, as in TF2. Don't get me wrong, TF2 is a great game, but why the **** won't they put a good product down to work on some to beat it senseless. I found TF2 to be fun and chaotic, with a little bit of sarcasm. They should be working on another one of my favorite game, Half-life 3, instead of over-fucking a perfectly good game. MY G-D, its like watching Obama telling the rock industry that they need to calm it down and let the government take control, and I must say this too, fuck obama, and fuck valve. The last good game they have come out with is portal, in which they need to make a SECOND one so i don't have to keep replaying the game. This is just some of my rants( i guess rants b/c im out of pot, I don't know), so I'm going to go work, them come watch your video, then write another paper on why you are right or wrong. Comment if you want, I would like to see what you think, but then again, I look at my own production from a game to see whether it passes or not, so actually, I don't give shit. Thank you for your time. - DemonBurn

 

[Twinmill5000]

Going back on what I said earlier and a response to a post above...

I'm the other away around with MMOs... I mean, sure, it's frusterating being called a newfag if you say something stupid in global chat, but the part that did make me quit WoW was the raiding aspect. There was no fun in it after a while. I don't know, as a mage, I could handle a rogue oneshotting me more than straining myself every instance trying to press spells in a really unpredictable order. It would be fun like that, except if I tried to enjoy myself and take it easy, my dps would drop and well... all of the sudden I'm a noob that needs to l2dps. In essence it turned it into a job, not fun. S4 had the same effect on me too, but the people weren't AS bad because of my 'score' on those certain games that are bound to happen if you can't instantly land a headshot with a gun that shoots an odd bullet pattern on demand like the ai in L4D can. I guess because in S4 at least half of the players look at more than numbers. I have long forgotten the purpose of this post, but I guess if anything it states my views in a more defined manner.

 

[Mantonio]

I'm really hoping Yahtzee doesn't review any multiplayer-centric things in the future, if his 'All games should stand on Singleplayer alone' thing is to be taken seriously. Because, you know, it'd be kind of silly to review one with that mindset.

Sad to hear you don't play TF2 anymore though, but I can see why you don't.

 

[Relent688]

I fully agree that Borderlands has its issues in the sense of being repetative and, in the long run, boring. Despite the nearly limitless numbers of gun combinations, via the different elemental properties and odd perks they give, I just cannot find a reason to play through it for a second time. Oh wow, the enemies get stronger. If you played through it once, why do it again? Now that I have said that, Borderlands does have its entertainment value for a brief time. The game is fun if you walk away from it for a while and then pick it back up after a few weeks or months.

On the note of its multiplayer, I have played it online with 3 other close friends and I think that it fails. The enemies are harder due to the number of players, but other than that, it is the single player game with 3 other people. It would have been nice if they put something like PvP as the online component.

I think that Ben is on the right track with his "Games are only as good as their Single Player" approach. Don't get me wrong, I like an online frag fest as much as anybody, but IF the game has a single player, then that should be the strong side of the game. Granted games like Call of Duty MW2 stress the multiplayer heavily, and the multiplayer runs well, but the fact that the single player takes about 6-10 hours is shit. But on the other side of the spectrum, look at MAG, a MMOG that has no single player. Is it a bad game because it doesn't have a single player? No, it just means that you have to try and play the game and communicate with your squadmates. Yes, there are some jackasses involved, but that is true of all games that are online in any way.

 

[sawbones]

Another article detailing why he's a casual fag.

 

[The Commissar]

If the future of humanity depends solely upon our ability to agree with Yahtzee, then humanity is doomed. Or did anyone forget that this is the habit of the drooling fanboys that we've all told ourselves that we hated so much since the internet gave them a voice.

I've already bothered to argue the merits of this game in a previous set of posts, and conceded that it's hardly perfect. But that isn't the point anymore. The point is, why are we giving this kicking, screaming crybaby a forum to unleash his venomous ire upon things that are supposed to be making our lives more tolerable and, dare I say[small](Dare, dare!)[/small], enjoyable? In fact, why are we giving him a soapbox in the first place? One he gets payed rather well to stand on and spout profanity from.

I'm not saying that there isn't a valuable interest in pointing out things that are wrong about a game. Especially one that clearly isn't worth the ridiculous price tag. I'm just saying is there a valuable interest in time wasted, if not capital invested, in someone who has no real talent whatsoever but has a foul mouth and a chip on his shoulder? This might be a good point to let Yahtzee know that although George Carlin is dead, we are not holding a council to find an heir apparent to his vacated throne.

I find it truly hypocritical that someone would claim themselves to be a game reviewer and state to those in audience that he hates all multiplayer games because they are multiplayer. Now, I'm not saying that you are supposed to like multiplayer, but if you don't it hardly makes your opinion on the subject credible. But as I said this is tantamount to the hypocrisy that he always displays.

But what truly causes me to perform a Captain Picard style facepalm, is the utter persistence with which he demands that his word be known as law and the number of clueless tarts willing to circle about him like electrons hoping to bask in his glow. Completely and totally ignorant to the fact that he wouldn't even piss on them if he walked by and noticed they had caught fire. Something to which he has alluded to many times.

All this compounded by the fact that Yahtzee seems to hate all games in varying degrees. Which makes me wonder why he's even bothering to talk about them in the first place. But then I remember that steady paycheck and the legions of starry-eyed fanboys jockeying for a chance to be kicked in the teeth by their idol.

When I came to The Escapist a while back. I thought this place would be different from all the other websites where the measure of your worth was how much of a conformist idiot you are as well as your ability to spout pointless memes at the most inappropriate moments. I'm just sad to see that things here are starting down the same path. And frankly, I blame Mr. Croshaw.

I used to, at this point, post some kind of media reference to The Fonz jumping the shark. I don't think it's worth it anymore. Yahtzee never jumped the shark, he never got to the shark. The whole thing about the shark assumes that there was something proud and worthwhile there to begin with. And that is clearly not the case.

I'll close by saying that I expect that if Yahtzee has the fortitude to respond to these allegations, which I doubt, he'll probably find some minute typographical error to focus on that I may have overlooked. Then he'll give me an insulting moniker, and proceed to question my intelligence and/or sexuality in the same vein of the millions of trolls that graced the internet before him.

Whoa, hardly the place for that kind of thing. Start a new thread or write a "Dear Sir" complaint to the editor or something. Also, if you are saying this here to get a rise out of people who are busy talking about something else, that sort of makes you a troll "in the same vein of the [sic, should be "as the"] millions... that graced the internet before".

Yahtzee has brought a lot of people in contact with the Escapist who wouldn't have done so before. I watch his videos for a laugh whether or not I am interested in buying the game. They are funny, and if you watch a few of them you can see that there are parts in which he reveals what he likes. As I was coming here to watch ZP, I began to read and watch other articles and videos, which I now follow as closely. I suspect there are others like me.

He does, however, have too many disciples and fanboys, but anything interesting and good on the internet will produce them almost as prolifically as it produces the tired memes that they spout. People are very stupid sometimes, but if that is what they like, that is what they like. I hate hearing people quoting Monty Python at me these days, but that doesn't stop the original sketches being fucking hilarious to both me and the people quoting it (constantly).

Do the world a favour and stop taking yourself so seriously.

 

[dudeman0001]

It's Kinda like how when I started playing SF I barely touched characters like Ryu and Ken. But favoured stranger, less commonly used characters, like Zangief & Dhalsim.

I always want to have some defining characteristic that makes me stand out from the crowd, and so do alot of other people.

I can relate to this... though the flipside of it is that you are therefore allowing the crowd to influence your choice. If you would have more fun playing Ryu, but choose not to due to his popularity, you are handicapping your game experience for the sake of noncomformity. Depending on the situation, I waffle on this one.

I never ENTIRELY let them influence my decisions though, I also use those characters because I like their playing styles and/or the way they control, Zangiefs controls seemed to just come naturally.

 

[flabslapper]

oh ok, though I'm so far out of the loop I don't know what crafting is

 

[mawk]

[etc etc] Final Fantasy VII.

I think FFVII [etc etc]

as for the actual review, [etc etc]

Okay. I'm sensing some hate and [etc etc]

So popular and loved was the [etc etc haters etc]

Thanks for writing up like three paragraphs of quotes and fanboy-gush trying to disprove my opinion, A1. I kind of hoped you wouldn't, especially since me saying "I know mentioning FF7 will etc etc" was aimed to signify that I already knew what kind of arguments were gonna be made and didn't really want to see them played out, but then I remembered that this is the internet.

Bottom line, though, I don't hate the franchise, and you shouldn't assume I do just because I don't think it's that good.

I'm really hoping Yahtzee doesn't review any multiplayer-centric things in the future, if his 'All games should stand on Singleplayer alone' thing is to be taken seriously. Because, you know, it'd be kind of silly to review one with that mindset.

He'll probably steer clear to some extent. The Borderlands thing seemed like a one-off demand-driven thing, and it should at least help deter people from bringing it up in the future. And then by taking out my recycling I will at least help eliminate all landfills worldwide.

And yeah, Net Night dude, you can't tell me you don't see the irony in writing such a long, self-absorbed essay on Yahtzee's ego and critical tendencies.

 

[Sonofadiddly]

Sometimes I worry that Yahtzee's losing his edge. Then he comes up with something brilliant like "patricidal Victorian fuckhead."

 

[A1]

[etc etc] Final Fantasy VII.

I think FFVII [etc etc]

as for the actual review, [etc etc]

Okay. I'm sensing some hate and [etc etc]

So popular and loved was the [etc etc haters etc]

Thanks for writing up like three paragraphs of quotes and fanboy-gush trying to disprove my opinion, A1. I kind of hoped you wouldn't, especially since me saying "I know mentioning FF7 will etc etc" was aimed to signify that I already knew what kind of arguments were gonna be made and didn't really want to see them played out, but then I remembered that this is the internet.

Bottom line, though, I don't hate the franchise, and you shouldn't assume I do just because I don't think it's that good.

I'm really hoping Yahtzee doesn't review any multiplayer-centric things in the future, if his 'All games should stand on Singleplayer alone' thing is to be taken seriously. Because, you know, it'd be kind of silly to review one with that mindset.

He'll probably steer clear to some extent. The Borderlands thing seemed like a one-off demand-driven thing, and it should at least help deter people from bringing it up in the future. And then by taking out my recycling I will at least help eliminate all landfills worldwide.

And yeah, Net Night dude, you can't tell me you don't see the irony in writing such a long, self-absorbed essay on Yahtzee's ego and critical tendencies.

Three paragraphs? What the hell are you talking about?

I only included one paragraph. And I didn't include "quotes", which to say more than one quote. I just included one, albeit a somewhat large one.

But then I guess you seem to be addressing another poster or posters in addition to me. Since you cut everything short it's a little hard to tell.

Having an opinion is one thing. But trying to present or frame that opinion as if it were fact is another. You don't like the game or the franchise it spawned? Fine. But the game is indeed much more widely loved and treasured than you seem to think it is.

Take a look around. You seem be well aware of the fact that there are large numbers of loyal fans ready and willing to pounce on you. Don't you think that that in and of itself says something about the game? Or the fact that it spawned it's own franchise? Or the fact that it remains to this very day the best-selling Final Fantasy game?


Like it or not the game has indeed become a notable part of Video game history. One of the things it's credited with is playing an important role in elevating the Playstation brand. Another is helping to create a sizable market for console role-playing games outside Japan. And as I said it remains to this day the best-selling Final Fantasy game.

Oh and thank you for apparently editing out the word "conjecture" from your original post. That wouldn't have been particularly accurate.

You may very well think that the game is undeserving of it's status. But please don't try to deny that it has it's status.

 

[xqxm]

I like the updates for Team Fortress 2, mainly because they don't affect balance the way you're afraid of, but mainly offer you new and interesting ways to play a class to suit everyone. Besides, i've just played it for a few weeks and i have every single item in the game, save two and the hats.

 

[Shjade]

"If a game is only fun when you and your friends do it together then that's a review of your friends, not the game." <-- exactly the point I was making in the Borderlands review comments.

That's not true. There's no fun in playing hockey single-player... poker, settlers, chess, monopoly... and to be honest there are better or worse games to play with friends. Some aren't enjoyable at all because the mechanics just suck the fun out of doing anything with 'em.

Actually I can think of a number of hockey games that can be fun to play alone, just you against the computer.

What's that you say? You were talking about playing the game in reality? Why, that's almost relevant to a discussion of video games! Not quite, but almost!

Also, varies from person to person. It can be an entertaining exercise to play chess against yourself. Monopoly perhaps not so much, but the randomness of dice does make it possible to have multiple pieces compete without other players involved. Granted it would be a dull game, but then, it IS a dull game - it's only fun with other players because of the other players, not the game (which is the point made above). Hockey alone isn't the same game as hockey with other players, but if you think it can't be fun alone I think you must have never skated on your own for the sheer enjoyment of skating. Never played basketball by yourself narrating a fictional announcer? Never used your imagination to enhance an experience?

Many things can be made fun alone or in a group without the activity itself being an undeniable font of ecstasy.

But yeah, back to the original point: video games. If it's only fun with friends, that's not an indicator of the game being fun - it's a sign that you and your friends have fun together regardless of what you're doing.

 

[NamesAreHardToPick]

Hockey alone isn't the same game as hockey with other players, but if you think it can't be fun alone I think you must have never skated on your own for the sheer enjoyment of skating. Never played basketball by yourself narrating a fictional announcer? Never used your imagination to enhance an experience?

Many things can be made fun alone or in a group without the activity itself being an undeniable font of ecstasy.

Yeah, but you and Yahtzee are saying that your enjoyment of any activity in a group is entirely dependent on how much fun your friends are.... you're just as well off to spend an evening washing dishes with your girlfriend as having a steamy night of sex, playing Borderlands with a gamer buddy is just as enjoyable as playing Damnation.

Unless you are a time traveller from 1990 you should remember being subjected to that whole "shovel any shit out the door as long as it's got multiplayer everyone will love it" design concept until we finally beat it to death. It's a load of bull, a game better designed for multiplayer will totally own one that didn't give it much thought. An extremely well-designed multiplayer game is even fun to play with complete strangers online. Borderlands sure as hell doesn't, but the point is that you can't just take how fun a game is alone, multiply it by X and determine how much fun it would be with other people.

 

[Pimppeter2]

"I've compared notes with a few other people who play MMOGs the same way"

This made me laugh my ass off. I can just picture it in my head.

 

[SomeUnregPunk]

I didn't want Yahtzee to do this game because just like all the fan boys on the gearbox forums, we know the story and the single-player experience sucks. The only reason to have him to review this game is because you want to see him try to rip into it better than the guys/gals over at the gearbox forums. I'm sad to see that he did a poor job of that.

I would rather want to see a review of "Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II." If he can't do that then maybe he can do the new installment "Chaos Rising" The single player experience in that game is so completely different from the multi-player element that actually having him review it would have merit.

I think Yahtzee has said it before.
He is useless at RTSs.
I had another comment on that topic, but I forgot it.

He also claims to hate JRPGs and says he won't review them. So why the hell did he do "Valkyria Chronicles"? He also did a review for "Soul Calibur IV" which was a pointless waste.

People probably emailed him and this site to nauseating levels to get him to review games he doesn't have the mindset needed to review it.

 

[theultimateend]

Yahtzee brings up an interesting point. Borderlands WAS popular for a while after it's release before it largely fell by the wayside so to speak.

I guess that's what makes a good game different from a great game. Namely the ability to make a long-lasting impression. I guess one such example of a great game by this token is Final Fantasy VII.

Generally speaking any game that people still talk about a decade later is a fairly good game to at least some degree.

OR it is an absolutely abominable game.

I'd say FF7 is the former rather than the latter, because I'm not a troll. ET for the Atari being the latter.

It's Kinda like how when I started playing SF I barely touched characters like Ryu and Ken. But favoured stranger, less commonly used characters, like Zangief & Dhalsim.

I always want to have some defining characteristic that makes me stand out from the crowd, and so do alot of other people.

I can relate to this... though the flipside of it is that you are therefore allowing the crowd to influence your choice. If you would have more fun playing Ryu, but choose not to due to his popularity, you are handicapping your game experience for the sake of noncomformity. Depending on the situation, I waffle on this one.

I never ENTIRELY let them influence my decisions though, I also use those characters because I like their playing styles and/or the way they control, Zangiefs controls seemed to just come naturally.

I try to take the absolute worst character in any game and learn to be amazing with them. Mainly because it makes victories all the more sweeter.

Reminds me of High School, all those lunches beating other students with Pichu (or just dropping my token on the Random squares). I'm a whore for the underdogs.

 

[Straz]

Snip

Snip

I don't think Yahtzee takes himself nearly as seriously as you think he does...
And I really just think that when you read a game review of his, it is probable that he will claim to hate it to its innermost level (At least to varying levels).
If you take the average of those levels of deep innermost hate, I think you can work out his actual review of the game by viewing an above average review as positive, and a negative one as hate.
It isn't exactly hard.

Edit:
I look back and see that the latter part of that is poorly phrased, but you kids will spare me on that count besides.
You get what I mean anyway...

 

[tetron]

On socializing in MMOGs I'd say it's more than an angry loner being an angry loner where people can see him. If you go to a mall you don't run around socializing with everyone you'd never get anything done. So would you rather go to a mall with nobody in it or a mall with people in it ? And if you say the former then you're an antisocial freak. So the typical normal person would rather go to a mall with people in it, and there's practical reasons for that since popular mall = more stores, better prices, better selection, etc. So there's no reason for this to not hold true in an online game.
On the other side what if you went to the mall and everyone started trying to socialize with you ? It would be awkward and probably unwelcome. This also holds true in MMOGs. There have been plenty of times where the most annoying part about someone asking me a question or asking for help wasn't the question or help they needed but them trying to decide if I was going to snap at them for bothering me.

So while MMOG gameplay isn't the best and yes the people do give it the atmosphere it needs to be interesting even if you don't interact with them. The main thing is that they are there. You may only want to run around solo grinding but you still know that there's people around and that's not all there is for you to do. Also ignoring everyone and just leveling is speeding up you getting to level cap.
Take WoW for example levels 1-79 are really just so blizzard makes more money. Once you hit level cap that's when getting in a guild and doing stuff with other people becomes fun. These aren't just random people that you join up with for one quest but people that you see on a daily basis. Even if you don't join a guild you're going to keep seeing the same people around and getting to know each other even if it's only as "that guy that does dailies around the same time as me". So even the most anti-social loner is going to build connections with people and come out of his shell.

 

[blainemono]

I would like to mention the following fact: yahtzee sucks cocks. seriously. the way he reviews games, he just asks for a cock. THERE ARE COCKS UNSUCKED? I COME FOR THEE! - that's yahtzee's motto. He likes single player? sure, we got it. now what? I tell you what - he will review a thoroughly multiplayer game and gobble up all those hurtful comments that originate from people that doesn't know yahtzee sucks cocks enjoys single player. EVE online? Borderlands? Fuck that, lets review World of Warcraft! Seriously, single player mode sucks ass there, and we all know that's what it's all about! I mean, seriously, he presented us with a fact - he likes to play MMO games all alone, scoffing at bacground people like they are, well, a background, and then bitching about how the game doesn't have more of a non-background content. What's there to say? I know what's to say: cocks! Huge, unadulterated cock-a-suck-a-thoriums!

That's my opinion and i stand firmly by it.