Help me see into the mind of a guy.
- Thread starter Chancie
- Start date
He's interested, even though he might not be ready to talk to you or ask you out.Chancie said:
Guys don't magically become romantic Casanovas when girls give them a signal that they like them. In fact, most guys are oblivious to the fact, so being forward with him isn't going to be the solution to his shyness problem.
My suggestion: Hang out with him, become his friend. Or if that's too much trouble, send him a note with a yes/no fill in the blank.
Kids these days.
Take it from a guy who's done that: at the very least, he thinks your cute. You have two options here: wander up to him and say 'hi', or wait until he works the nerve. Your choice, do what you think is best.
As a guy, I can understand how this other guy must feel, because I'm exactly the same. I do that when I'm interested in a girl, I recall one memorable occasion on the train home from a nearby town I'd visited when I did the same thing with this really attractive girl sitting a little way away. It was a crowded train, she noticed me looking, and we did keep playing that little 'stare-and-smile' game, but I didn't have the balls to actually say anything to her. And the reason is that the stereotype that guys will be confident enough to ask the girl out is a complete and utter lie. It's nothing but bullshit.Chancie said:
Understanding how this guy must feel, I urge you, as the girl, to make contact. Talk to him, or if you can choose where you sit each class (i.e if seats aren't pre-allocated) then try and sit a bit nearer to him sometime. He won't make first contact, because he's shy, but he's definitely interested. So it's up to you to make first contact yourself. Do it, just talk to him about something, as a casual conversation, and see what happens. And good luck, to you and to him
.Oh, and guys, please don't quote me saying things like 'man up' and say that I as a guy need to grow a pair of balls, because I already have them, thank you. There's a difference between having self-confidence, which I do actually have, and having the guts to talk to a girl you like, especially when you don't even know if that girl realises you exist.
If its happened once or twice, he's either checking you out or its a coincidence. More than that? He likes you. Deffo. He's probably too shy to initiate conversation from the sounds of it, unless he's confident, or has the ego of a tool. Just walk up to him and say hi. You'd be throwing him a major bone. (no pun intended)
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Speaking for myself, its majorly overwhelming to speak to a girl I like from the off, and I wish I could just instigate conversation, ask them out and be done with it. I suppose its fortunate for me that a lot of the girls I like from the off, turn out to be exactly the kind of girl I hate... damn first impressions, I hate you...
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This. If he is interested in what you are saying, and listening, then carry it on. If his eyes stray to Boobtown while talking to you, abandon ship.ottenni said:
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Speaking for myself, its majorly overwhelming to speak to a girl I like from the off, and I wish I could just instigate conversation, ask them out and be done with it. I suppose its fortunate for me that a lot of the girls I like from the off, turn out to be exactly the kind of girl I hate... damn first impressions, I hate you...
Damn brain slugs. Always latching on to people's heads.Sacman said:
OT: He's interested in you in some way, and is probably thinking of an excuse to talk to you right now.
This sounds about right, I will admit that there have been times where I've simply been unable to spit it out, so it may be that he's interested but shy.DaJoW said:
If this is the case, I'd make up some excuse to talk to him just to try to get a judge of his character. If he seems like a creep, avoid eye contact from then on and make it obvious that you are not interested. "Catching" him looking at you may be giving off false signals, so he may be under the false pretense that you are interested in him.
If he seems like a decent guy, try to get to know him better. If he's shy enough that he can't break the ice, ask him something simple like "could you help me on this homework problem?" or something along those lines. As long as you get the conversation started, he will most likely be more open about it. Once you get to know him a bit better, then you can take it from there.
He's into you. If you like him as well, then you should strike up a conversation with him.
And bless your heart if you do talk to him first, because guys usually have to do the approaching and it can be nerve-racking if you're not experienced.(speaking for myself, anyway...)
And bless your heart if you do talk to him first, because guys usually have to do the approaching and it can be nerve-racking if you're not experienced.(speaking for myself, anyway...)
You sir, have summarized my thoughts on the matter far better than I could have.Trivun said:As a guy, I can understand how this other guy must feel, because I'm exactly the same. I do that when I'm interested in a girl, I recall one memorable occasion on the train home from a nearby town I'd visited when I did the same thing with this really attractive girl sitting a little way away. It was a crowded train, she noticed me looking, and we did keep playing that little 'stare-and-smile' game, but I didn't have the balls to actually say anything to her. And the reason is that the stereotype that guys will be confident enough to ask the girl out is a complete and utter lie. It's nothing but bullshit.Chancie said:
Understanding how this guy must feel, I urge you, as the girl, to make contact. Talk to him, or if you can choose where you sit each class (i.e if seats aren't pre-allocated) then try and sit a bit nearer to him sometime. He won't make first contact, because he's shy, but he's definitely interested. So it's up to you to make first contact yourself. Do it, just talk to him about something, as a casual conversation, and see what happens. And good luck, to you and to him
Oh, and guys, please don't quote me saying things like 'man up' and say that I as a guy need to grow a pair of balls, because I already have them, thank you. There's a difference between having self-confidence, which I do actually have, and having the guts to talk to a girl you like, especially when you don't even know if that girl realises you exist.
I'm in the exact same boat...
Which might explain why I'm single...
If he's anything like me he's not gonna come up with one, he's just gonna tell himself, " she doesn't care what I have to say, there is no reason for her to talk to me." or something like that, than go home cut a little bit get beat by his step dad and cry himself to sleep alone and unloved only for the same thing to repeat itself for the next year until he finally comes to the realization that life isn't worth living and try to off himself with a fist full of extra strength advil only to vomit it up and go on living a miserable existence in a hollow emotionless body...<.< you know if he's anything like me...Xpwn3ntial said:
but saying he isn't like me he will probably talk to you about the weather or what ever mentally stable people talk about these days...
odds are he is interested in you. otherwise, he just find you interesting to look at. Probably the good odds are that he likes you. feel free to react however you see fit.
Either he wants to mate with you... or wants to kill you. We are that simple *g*.
(Well ok... we do more than just smash things or have sex... WE ALSO DO MATH, or play games)
(Well ok... we do more than just smash things or have sex... WE ALSO DO MATH, or play games)
Exactly what I was going to say.Trivun said:As a guy, I can understand how this other guy must feel, because I'm exactly the same. I do that when I'm interested in a girl, I recall one memorable occasion on the train home from a nearby town I'd visited when I did the same thing with this really attractive girl sitting a little way away. It was a crowded train, she noticed me looking, and we did keep playing that little 'stare-and-smile' game, but I didn't have the balls to actually say anything to her. And the reason is that the stereotype that guys will be confident enough to ask the girl out is a complete and utter lie. It's nothing but bullshit.Chancie said:
Understanding how this guy must feel, I urge you, as the girl, to make contact. Talk to him, or if you can choose where you sit each class (i.e if seats aren't pre-allocated) then try and sit a bit nearer to him sometime. He won't make first contact, because he's shy, but he's definitely interested. So it's up to you to make first contact yourself. Do it, just talk to him about something, as a casual conversation, and see what happens. And good luck, to you and to him
Oh, and guys, please don't quote me saying things like 'man up' and say that I as a guy need to grow a pair of balls, because I already have them, thank you. There's a difference between having self-confidence, which I do actually have, and having the guts to talk to a girl you like, especially when you don't even know if that girl realises you exist.
Well... not exactly. He just said it far better then I ever could.
But still, what he said.
The guy finds you attractive. If you are even a little bit interested, strike up a conversation sometime. See where it goes.
