How do you argue that you're not homophobic/racist/etc?

[Blow_Pop]

I don't argue it. If some ignorant ass that doesn't know me decides to accuse me of it without seeing my actions then that's their deal. But unless you know me and have seen my actions both online AND offline then you really can't judge whether I am or not. It's as simple as that.

 

[fenrizz]

I state that I am against the actions (homosexual marriage, for example), but not the people. And, it's true. I love all people - including gays. However, that doesn't mean that I have to tolerate their actions.

Bullshit. If you actually loved us, you'd let us get married to the people WE love.
What the hell is there to 'tolerate?'

I agree very much.
You don't get to rob someone of something you see as a natural right and walk off innocent like you did nothing wrong.

 

[snowpuppy]

Erm... Why should I? Actions speak louder than words.

 

[Mad World]

I state that I am against the actions (homosexual marriage, for example), but not the people. And, it's true. I love all people - including gays. However, that doesn't mean that I have to tolerate their actions.

Bullshit. If you actually loved us, you'd let us get married to the people WE love.
What the hell is there to 'tolerate?'

What do you mean by "let"? I am not saying that I would forcefully stop gays from marrying each other if I possessed such power. I am just stating that I don't have to agree with it.

 

[gritch]

It's posts like these that make me wonder if I've really got the point across that there's not an actualy ongoing argument, and there never was. This is just a situation that's always frustrated me, and I'm trying to confirm that there was no way that I could have handled it after I slipped up.

Sorry to use you as an example if you're replying to what you'd do if you were in the hypothetical argument, I just thought I'd make sure we were all on the same page.

Apologies. I sort of skimmed the OP and then some of the replies and thought I'd throw in my few cents. I still think the logic applied. If someone is callous enough to label you "homophobic" or "racist" their opinion isn't worth your time to try to change. You're never going to have everyone like you. If it's a passing stranger don't let it bother you - you'll never see them again. If it's someone you'll have regular contact with just act as you normally do around them. If you're really not racist/homophobic let your actions change their initial impression of you. If the label persists and/or other people are of similar opinion (which doesn't seem to be the case for you) then maybe there is some truth to it. One person thinking your homophobic/racist doesn't really matter. It's just an outlier and if the rest of the data suggests otherwise don't let it bother you.

In short: Can you argue someone you're not homophobic/racist? No, not really. You not going to be able to change their mind that quickly. More to the point, I don't think it's worth the effort to even bother.

 

[Charli]

What like...prove it?

I guess just be secure in your own sexuality enough to not bat an eyelid when the same gender makes a pass at you.

Being aesexual kinda makes that job easy for me though... I give the same responses to both genders.

And both genders kissing or doing anything overtly sexual (yes even porn) has the same affect on me as someone straight doing it.


If I need to 'prove myself' I guess that's how. But I can only really prove it to myself, and frankly, who else's opinion matters?

If you feel the need to make the no homo disclaimer, you need an injection of security elixir.

 

[verdant monkai]

You just don't care.

If they are someone you care about they will listen to you or just believe you. If it some randomer usually on the internet, then don't lose sleep over what they think of you.

 

[Something Amyss]

I'm half native (so a minority), bisexual, trans. That covers most of the groups someone might get accused of being bigoted regarding.

The honest truth is that one way or another, I don't get accused of any ism anyway. The one or two times it's happened in my life, I've shrugged it off by basically saying "okay, if you say so." It doesn't bother me, because I know it's not true.

Also, some of my best friends are gay. >.>

In my experience, though, the easiest way to deal with these claims is to not act in such a way in the first place. There will always be reactionary knee-jerk types, but the reality is that people tend to get called out on patterns of behaviour. Maybe it's just harder to see the pattern with me, because I hate everyone. <.<

Easy. I kiss a black guy. Does the trick every time.

But then they accuse you of hating Koreans, and you have to find a Korean. Then they say you hate Italians, and so on. By the end of the night, your lips are chapped....

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

Just say: "I'm not a bigot, I consider everyone to be equal human beings. If you still think I'm a bigot, you can go fuck yourself."

If some idiot just decides that you're bigoted regardless of what you say, then he's... well and idiot and not worth wasting time on.

 

[Something Amyss]

To some people you're a sexist pig simply for possesing a penis and being perfectly ok with putting that penis inside of women exsclusively. To disprove simply ignore them and watch as they shout full-volume at nothing.

I don't know. If I ever heard a strawman shout, I'd probably be more than a little startled.

 

[kommando367]

Apathy my dear boy...

I'm not racist because I don't give a fuck about a person's race one way or the other.

I'm not homophobic because I don't give a fuck about a person's sexual orientation one way or the other.

The argument should end in 10-30 seconds if the accuser is actually sane. If not, you may want to run for the hills.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

I have no self-confidence, really, so it's hard to stick up for myself and trust myself in situations like these.

You've pretty much answered your own question here. Unless this person is your Boss or someone with whom you genuinely need to stay in their good graces, who cares? No one, and I mean no one, knows what is going on inside your brain except you. If people want to accuse you of being racist or homophobic or whatever when you know you aren't then let them talk till they're blue in the face.

You're never going to make everyone happy, and in my experience the people who constantly accuse others of being racist or sexist or homophobic or what-have-you are the most unhappy of them all. Let it go and live your life, because no one knows you better than you do.

 

[michael87cn]

Tell you to go fudge yourself and mind your own business. Judge me for who I am, not who you think I am or 'could' be. Telling people "GUESS WHAT! YOU'RE PROBABLY *insert horrible thing* LOL ISN'T THAT JUST FUNNY? YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!" is probably just as bad as the things you're calling people. Seriously, just stop it already. It's not cute, funny, whatever.

 

[NemotheElvenPanda]

Just ask yourself this simple question;

"Do you think or feel that people who are (insert group here) should be treated differently for being (insert adjective of said group here)?"

If the answer is no, you're not a (insert term for someone who is for persecuting people for arbitrary reasons).

Now of course there are going to be people to draw such things out more than they should. We call that overthinking things. Everyone is prejudiced and holds some discriminatory habits and feelings in some form or another, most of it born from culture and anxiety in dealing with different kinds of people, which are things we generally try to be aware of. While one can't always control our thoughts and feelings, we can with our actions. Unless if you've called a black person a (insert slur here) and told him to polish your shoes, or a gay person that they're a (insert slur here) and said that they shouldn't be around children, in this gay man's opinion, you're not racist or homophobic or anything.

 

[Something Amyss]

If you know they're full of shite then responding is only going to lower you to their pathetic level.

Why would you make a strawman out of feces?

 

[Rebel_Raven]

Just gotta go by actions. People will likely know you well enough to back you up.

Can't really defend it otherwise, IMO.

You might be able to turn the tables, though. I mean sure, racism is usually negative, but what does it mean when someone demands special (maybe undue) benefit due to race? Or what ever other ism? I mean if they'r genuinely being mistreated, they have grounds, but if you've done them no wrong, then their claim is baseless and might be turned against them.

 

[babinro]

I've never been in a situation where this was a problem.

There's no way I could possibly prove it. I'd simply tell the person that if they trust me then they'll know that I'm genuine when I say that I'm not racist/homophobic or whatever. If they choose to believe me great. If they don't...they don't.

 

[Mad World]

By let I mean 'pass laws legalizing gay marriage.'

And what the hell is there to agree with?

I'm against gay acts; I think that they're wrong. I love gays (as I love all people). It's just that I don't agree with what they do.

I'm on the fence when it comes to whether or not I think that it should be legal. However, I am leaning toward thinking of gay marriage as something which should be legal. That way, people can make their own choice. I can still be against it.

 

[Something Amyss]

Pardon me? You wanna contextualize that statement?

What context do you need that wasn't provided in the original response?

 

[thehorror2]

You act in a way that demonstrates a lack of homophobia or racism. You can't just SAY you're not, you have to prove it. Does it take a long time? Yes, of course. But given the discrimination and oppression those groups have faced in the past, it's only fair for them to not be terribly trusting. I've gotten a reputation among my female friends on social media as a feminist, because of what I say and do, regularly, the events and charities I attend and support, and the way I come across in-person. It takes a long time to establish the pattern, but generally when people outright accuse someone of being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc, it's because they've done or said something that makes them seem that way. If this happens, explain yourself. The ball is in your court; people are under no obligation to give you the benefit of the doubt in this kind of situation.