How do you argue that you're not homophobic/racist/etc?
- Thread starter Headsprouter
- Start date
What is it with America and the whole racism/sexism sensitivity? I've been in a gay relationship, and I make fun of painfully bright pink shirts as well. I joke about immigrants and black people. About women and men. Heck, about everything. I really don't get why Americans can't seem to take a joke when it comes to 'sensitive' topics. =/ Or at least, I say Americans because I've yet to encounter that problem here in Europe.
As for how to prove that you're not a racist, you can't really disprove a negative. -They- are the ones that should be proving you are one, since they're accusing you. So I usually go with "you don't know me" or "prove it". They sound douchy, but being called a racist for no good reason is worse, imo.
As for how to prove that you're not a racist, you can't really disprove a negative. -They- are the ones that should be proving you are one, since they're accusing you. So I usually go with "you don't know me" or "prove it". They sound douchy, but being called a racist for no good reason is worse, imo.
I was in NY, but the people I was with were from where I'm from, Northern Ireland. I dunno if we're more sensitive about that kind of thing, but I have heard of some really anti-gay older members of the community, but that would come from the religious background of the country.sanquin said:
As for my generation, my friends came out on the final year of school, and nobody batted an eye. I had known before that, though.
We're probably all a tad racist, but certainly not in a malicious sort of way. I'm not the most socially explorative person, though, not by a long shot, so I could hardly tell you for sure.
Okay, so it's cliché, so what? Being a cliché makes it no less true (assuming it is true when spoken). What the phrase is saying, whether the friend(s) in question are gay, hindu, chinese, black, whatever, is that we have accepted a person of the given minority into our circle of friends. That we have demonstrated our ability to look past skin colour, faith, etc and are not therefore racist/homophobic as evidenced by being able to count minority members amongst our closest contemporaries and confidants.Headsprouter said:
I am in a minority of a sort and have great friends. I further have friends who too are part of one minority or another whom I cherish dearly. What it says about my friends is that they're cool folks who demonstrate no intolerance towards me. They can make jokes about my heritage all they like because I know it comes from friendship and not malice. I am lucky to have friends also who are hindu, who are gay, who are Irish, etc. and treasure them greatly. Does their heritage make any difference to our friendship? No.
Unless you're in a court of law to defend against a charge of discrimination, it doesn't matter what other people say or question you about. If they're your friends, they don't need any answers. If they aren't, give them the finger and move on. You don't have to explain yourself and you don't need wankers like that in your life. I know my friends are good people, I know they can be counted on and they know it too. If someone challenged them I would be right at their side because *I* know what's in their hearts and minds.
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If you want an actual answer to how one can "prove" something, consider the fundamental lesson that writers learn for creating (good) characters. We learn about a person in three ways: what they say, what they do and what others say about them. Consider also the old adage "Actions speak louder than words". Thus we learn what a person is like based firstly on what they do, secondly (IMO) by what others say about them and lastly by what they say about themselves.
What would your friends say about you if I asked them whether you were a good man? Act as you are, speak honestly and other people will resolve themselves around it. To that person who "decided you were homophobic", f**k them. You owe them nothing and they aren't worth your time. You know you're a good person, your friends and family know it, your two friends who *are* gay know it and the tosser who doesn't is irrelevant.
Well if I get called homophobic I can always say that most of my friends are gay.
and if I get called racist I can always say my best friend is Colombian.
But alternately I could always just stare at them like they're crazy because I never act homophobic or racist.
and if I get called racist I can always say my best friend is Colombian.
But alternately I could always just stare at them like they're crazy because I never act homophobic or racist.
You keep saying...
I'm assuming this is not what you mean, and I'd like to think you aren't racist or homophobic in any way, but if that be the case why add that qualifier so often?
Just say, "I'm not a racist nor a homophobe." Done.
As to your question:
You shouldn't need to argue it. You either are racist/homophobic/etc or you aren't. If you aren't, and someone accuses you of being so, just laugh it off and ignore them.
In your particular case, all you need do is apologize.
Now sure, some might think that act is the equivalent of an admittance of guilt. And maybe it is. But at the same time you meant nothing hurtful or harmful by your comment. (I assume) You can just say, "I know, I know. That was a stupid joke. I'm sorry."
If they still hold a grudge against you there's nothing more you can do at that point. Just brush it off and leave it to them to get over it.
...and I'm left wondering what exactly you mean by this. Adding a qualifier like "in a hateful sense" gives the impression that you're saying you are racist or homophobic, just not in a way that implies you want to harm anyone.
I'm assuming this is not what you mean, and I'd like to think you aren't racist or homophobic in any way, but if that be the case why add that qualifier so often?
Just say, "I'm not a racist nor a homophobe." Done.
As to your question:
You shouldn't need to argue it. You either are racist/homophobic/etc or you aren't. If you aren't, and someone accuses you of being so, just laugh it off and ignore them.
In your particular case, all you need do is apologize.
Now sure, some might think that act is the equivalent of an admittance of guilt. And maybe it is. But at the same time you meant nothing hurtful or harmful by your comment. (I assume) You can just say, "I know, I know. That was a stupid joke. I'm sorry."
If they still hold a grudge against you there's nothing more you can do at that point. Just brush it off and leave it to them to get over it.
Pretty sure I never spoke about homophobia in that sense. I'd like to think that my current self isn't homophobic at all.Vigormortis said:
And for everything else, you say, I'm not egotistical enough to say I'm completely without prejudice. This comment:
We all know stereotypes, when black people, for example, aren't commonplace when I live, I'll only have my stereotypes to think about.GundamSentinel said:
But I won't believe them, god I'm not that stupid.
Oh, I never implied you were. I was just pointing out that, at least to me, that extra little qualifier you kept adding to your statement seemed odd. That's all.Headsprouter said:
Generally speaking the only time that you need to "prove" that you aren't homophobic/ racist is when you have just said something that crosses (or strays near to) the line for somebody you are with.
If that happens just admit that you made a misjudgement and apologise. If they are still adamant then you're probably going to have to give up and accept that they think that about you.
You can't really prove a negative like that "I'm not bigoted" in a single sitting. It's about how you are in general. One use of the N word might destroy your reputation with someone permanently. So if you care then think first.
If that happens just admit that you made a misjudgement and apologise. If they are still adamant then you're probably going to have to give up and accept that they think that about you.
You can't really prove a negative like that "I'm not bigoted" in a single sitting. It's about how you are in general. One use of the N word might destroy your reputation with someone permanently. So if you care then think first.
You have a funny idea of what the word 'consent' means. Dogs can't consent because they're not sapient. Corpses can't consent because *gasp* they're dead. Only adults in control of their faculties can consent. I seriously hope you're trolling, because the idea of comparing homosexuality to bestiality and necrophilia of all things makes me sick.Trippy Turtle said:
No. You're not entitled to your opinion. You're entitled to what you can argue for. There is no rational argument for not liking homosexuals or lesbians. What's a word for an irrational dislike of something? Oh, that's right: PHOBIA. The word stands.Meriatressia said:
Saying 'I'm not racist/homophobic' then not adding 'But' or saying or acting racist or homophobic.
I wasn't implying you meant I'm stupid, either.Vigormortis said:
I was just trying to clarify that I have racial prejudices, but I'm not silly enough to truly believe that all black people will love watermelon and fried chicken, for example.
Damn right!Vault101 said:
How could somebody be offended if somebody accuses them of enjoying delicious food!?
QFTVault101 said:
And frankly, if they turn down a cool, delicious glass of lemonade iced-tea while they're at it then they're up to something. Keep a close eye on 'em.
Doesn't matter. I am still against it. I consider it to be immoral.DirgeNovak said:
Again, "tolerate" wasn't the best word to choose. I am not against their right to marry. I am simply against the act itself. Me being against that doesn't affect them; I treat them with respect and compassion.Vault101 said:
I definitely would not want my kid to be gay. But if they were, I would still love them.StarsintheBlood said:
I don't hate thieves, but I am against stealing. So, no, it is not dumb or deluded.
People just don't like not being able to label those who are against homosexual acts as people who hate gays. Sorry, but you don't get that luxury. I love them. I love everyone.