I don't understand male virgin shaming.

[Angie7F]

I think it is just pure peer pressure.
It is always nicer to be with the majority.

 

[Brainsaw]

My answer to the thread. Because some people truly have no other way to make themselves stand out and because they are human, will use anything to make themselves feel better in comparison, even if it's the fulfillment of humanity's most base instincts.

 

[sumanoskae]

I'll say it again, virgin shaming is stupid, slut shaming is stupid. What mature, consenting people do with their free time is their business, don't be a narrow minded, dogmatic jackass.

We should all cease these ridiculous, invasive and obnoxious practices.

Why do people do this? because people do things for no reason at all, this is the way it's been done for a while and they never think to question it.

They're either too intellectually lazy an/or apathetic to even consider the issue, too stupid to know any better, crazy enough that it actually makes sense to them, or their lying an/or pursuing some ulterior motive.

Hopefully, at some point enough of us will find it more trouble than it's worth for whatever reason, and we'll abandon it.

 

[bleys2487]

I could give zero fucks. I was crazy into girls when I was 14 but then I just realised "Whats the point? Why am I chasing after these shallow creatures?"
So I'll probably stay a virgin for at least another year (I have a bet with friends that I can turn 20 and still have it. The pots up to £30 now) but even then I'll be not chasing after it. Call me sad but I prefer my games, my 40k miniatures and a good laugh with mates to female company. Sure I can talk to them but if I'm not drunk then I just give them cold indifferance most of the time.

People can point how how sad or how I'm missing out all they want but my life is mine. I don't want to share it with anyone.

I can understand not feeling the need to pursue a relationship, but for cripes sake, does that require you being a jerk to the opposite gender all around?

Its the best thing to keep them away from me. I can be nice to them when I can be bothered with thier bullshit.

Let's just hate on an entire gender because god forbid one of them was mean to you at some point in time. Clearly they all must be shallow creatures. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your generalizing point of view of them. It's clearly all their fault and every single one of them for the way you feel.

/sarcasm off

As a woman, I wouldn't understand why any woman would want to be around you in the first place. Let alone deal with your 'bullshit', especially if you're just going to generalize us all as 'shallow creatures' and not human being simply because we were born with a vagina.

Grow up.

I'm not generalising because one was mean to me. Be it man or woman I can't stand idiots, people who don't think about anything past the next weeks booze or what clothes they are wearing. I can handle people being mean to me, believe me, especially women. I spent two years chasing drunkingly after them and then stopped because it became boring and felt like a grind. Tell you what, I'll talk to a girl if she can tell me the full title of Ulthwe, knows what Brisingr means, knows how many shots a DMR takes to drop a Spartan then I'll consider talking to her. Because she will have somehow defied stereotype and even thenit would be genuine interest but then she'd be just me and I don't want to go out with me.

As I said to someone else I don't walk around like some patriarchal tyrant and verbally beat on women. One word answers if I can't be bothered and feign interest with a smile if I can. Except its gonna be all cold, one word answers this year and general feedback from the thread shows me that people get riled up even when I describe my attitude. I am not paying out £30 because I got lax.

On a side note, notice how my avatar is a woman? Just pointing that out. Idranel is cool as shit. She's mystical and can see the future and is nowhere near boring.

1. Ulthanash Shelwé?

2. Fire? (4th book sucked, loved the other three)

3. 5 shots? Assuming one is a head shot? I haven't played Halo while I've been away at the University for the past year. That's what I remember it being though. Depends on the spartan's shield too.

Anyway I tried. Didn't look the answers up either. Won't lose any sleep if you don't believe that or not. Some of the answers might be wrong. Chances are that they are. But, hey. I gave it a shot just off of memory.

Have fun with your thirty euro.

p.s. maybe you shouldn't have drunkenly chased after them. Like attracts like, sir. Give it another go.

And yes. I'm a girl. I speak three languages. I like sci-fi fantasy. Warhammer is awesome. I led an alliance in AoR with 200+ in it. I drive a stick 2011 camaro (actually drive, not like the idiots on the road today). I am trained in krav maga. I'd rather sit in vent with my friends around the world than go out any day of the week and play games on steam or mmos.

Not trying to show off. But, not every woman out there is a babbling, talkative, self centered *****. Yes, I know they are aplenty. I'll apologize on behalf of my gender for them. We're not all like that. People just notice the loudest ones.

There are other women like me too, on this forum. There are probably women here (no doubt in my mind) that know all these answers for sure and don't have to go on memory. There are women here who could easily trump me.

 

[Harrowdown]

Oh, come now. I don't do it, and I don't like it, but surely it's obvious why the shaming takes place. Men who are sexually proactive are, in evolutionary terms, the strongest males of the species. Being able to attract a woman and propagate the species is the sign of a genetically 'superior' male. Like I say, I don't go around judging virgins (i'd be a hypocrite if I did), but i'm not going to pretend that the stigma is entirely irrational.

 

[twohundredpercent]

lol way to put it in the most autistic way possible guy.

 

[Vegosiux]

but i'm not going to pretend that the stigma is entirely irrational.

"Rationality" is something specific to us, and it doesn't exist as such elsewhere, at least not as we percieve it. Therefore, there's nothing "rational" about evolution and genetics. Hell, if there was anything rational about it, we'd have lost our appendixes and wisdom teeth by now at least! That'd be the rational path to take.

So yeah the virgin shaming is just about as rational as slut shaming is, and the degree of rationality is around zero.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Pfft. Fuck social scrutiny and "being a real man".

I mate for fun, not making children or conquering women.
The world has more than enough whiny mouths already (present company included).

 

[Harrowdown]

but i'm not going to pretend that the stigma is entirely irrational.

"Rationality" is something specific to us, and it doesn't exist as such elsewhere, at least not as we percieve it. Therefore, there's nothing "rational" about evolution and genetics. Hell, if there was anything rational about it, we'd have lost our appendixes and wisdom teeth by now at least! That'd be the rational path to take.

So yeah the virgin shaming is just about as rational as slut shaming is, and the degree of rationality is around zero.

Evolution isn't conscious or super-efficient, but it still has a logic, in that the traits that work are valued and passed on. The process isn't so fine-tuned that we can choose a specific 'path' and weed out all the bad genes. It's cause and effect. And i'm not trying to judge, or to justify frat boy assholes, or to say that virgins or sexually passive men are inferior or whatever, but I am saying that there's a reason why sexually able men are lauded within society; plain and simple, it's a positive evolutionary quality, and we're hard-wired as animals to value it. Society is bigger and more complicated than it was in the primal days, and you don't have to be an alpha male to be useful, but we're a species like any other when it comes down to it. Slut shaming is an entirely different issue, and not one that I support in any way, so please don't lump me in with that stupid crowd.

 

[Vegosiux]

Evolution isn't conscious or super-efficient, but it still has a logic, in that the traits that work are valued and passed on. The process isn't so fine-tuned that we can choose a specific 'path' and weed out all the bad genes. It's cause and effect. And i'm not trying to judge, or to justify frat boy assholes, or to say that virgins or sexually passive men are inferior or whatever, but I am saying that there's a reason why sexually able men are lauded within society; plain and simple, it's a positive evolutionary quality, and we're hard-wired as animals to value it. Society is bigger and more complicated than it was in the primal days, and you don't have to be an alpha male to be useful, but we're a species like any other when it comes down to it. Slut shaming is an entirely different issue, and not one that I support in any way, so please don't lump me in with that stupid crowd.

You still failed to explain how virgin shaming is "not irrational". Because there's nothing rational about being "genetically hard-wired" for anything, there's nothing rational about an instinct.

Yes, I'm aware it has its own reasons, but that doesn't make it "not irrational".

 

[freaper]

And OT: Biology is why male virgins are "shamed", I would imagine. Guys are hard wired to spread their genes as far and wide as possible.

Pretty much this, though I don't condone name-calling or shaming of a person because he/she had difficulty overcoming the hurdle that is "the first time".

 

[Harrowdown]

You still failed to explain how virgin shaming is "not irrational". Because there's nothing rational about being "genetically hard-wired" for anything, there's nothing rational about an instinct.

Yes, I'm aware it has its own reasons, but that doesn't make it "not irrational".

It comes down to the old mantra, 'survival of the fittest'. The strong are valued, whilst the weak are shunned. An inability to find a mate is weakness, in basic evolutionary terms, and a society that wants to survive is obliged to weed out weakness to improve its chances. It's base and instinctive, but it's still rational. Again, I want to insist that i'm not judging. Like I said, society is bigger now, and strength isn't all about hunting and fucking. However, we still put a lot of stock in those basic traits and abilities that allow us to survive, and for good reason. I never actually suggested that their was anything particularly logical about instinct. Certainly, there's no conscious logic to it. However, there is a certain logic in the maths of it; if you hear a sound in the night for example, and it's most likely to be nothing more than the house settling, you still experience a rush of adrenaline, because on the off chance that it's an intruder, it's best to be prepared when you stand to lose your life. That kind of paranoid instinct has kept people alive, and has thus been passed on genetically. Logical frameworks like maths and physics are observable in the universe, not just figments of human imagination.

 

[Gregory McMillan]

As Asexual I cant understand this at all. I think it is admirable if someone who has sexual impulses is able to control them completely to the point that hes is conscious about hes needs/desires but wont act upon them until he and hes partner wants.

I am myself completely unable to understand how does the fact that I am Asexual make me a less of a man. Yes I am a virgin in hes 20's and I don't give a fuck about fuck (pardon). But if I look at the mirror and my DNA I see a man.

The shaming in my opinion comes from men who are driven by their desires and are unable to understand if someone is able to control them. They feel that those people are different and as we know most people are afraid of that what is different.

I think those men that make fun of male virgins are the lesser men. Manhood is not defined by your masculine needs, but by your ability to control those needs.

But who am I to say anything about this subject - I am broken human after-all.

Tho I am very sad of the fact that many of my relationships have hit an iceberg and sunk when my partner learned that I don't care of sex. The first few months of social relationships were great but when they wanted to take next step and "go for it" they were dispointed and decided to end it. - Unfair in my opinion.

Well you have to understand that relationships are really the polite beginnings of making babies and starting a family. It might not be at the forefront of our minds but it's hardwired into our DNA. We've civilized and romanticized sex and family building. Attraction is mostly based on finding a mate. Indeed sexuality isn't a permanent thing. So might think your asexual now, but maybe in a couple years your nature might kick in and you'll take an interest in sex.

Yeah sexual development starts around the age of 11-13 I am over 20 now (I don't care for you to know my exact age, it is irrelevant). It is nice to see that you are able to understand my whole self-being and ego along with my sexual identity based on few short posts on a Internet forum.
Far as I know, according to psychology - I as a male should be in my sexual prime and full development now.

- You should become a developmental psychologist...

/No offense, but don't try to equalize world views without getting to know the person a bit better beforehand.

I wasn't claiming to know you, I was putting out a general assertion that applies to the majority of relationships. I had once claimed asexual, but that is over. I was just relating an experience. I don't need to get to know you to understand your perspective. I was just sharing mine to hopefully help you better understand the situation.

Actually it was likely your assertion SinisterGehe was responding to: "Indeed sexuality isn't a permanent thing. So might think your asexual now, but maybe in a couple years your nature might kick in and you'll take an interest in sex."

That statement has very negative implications, even if you were not aware of them:

1) That having no intrinsic desire for sex must be unnatural.
2) Asexuality is a phase.

Speaking as somebody who has struggled with his own asexuality through much sexual experimentation and self-reflection, I can understand how such implications may come across as offensive to some; especially to older asexuals, who have had the experience and time to self-reflect on their sexuality. For some people, their sexuality is a very permanent thing beyond their control.

However, I do not disagree with you that for some people, they may not be permanent asexuals. Only that your wording could be seen as problematic.

Ah then my apologies for an offense I may have given.

 

[Eggsnham]

Because people are stupid.

 

[Pieturli]

I guess it's pretty obvious why it happens. I don't like it, but then again I never see it. Ever. What mature person does that sort of shit?

That being said, I also think its pretty hilarious that people try to bullshit themselves and others by saying its a choice. I mean, yeah, for some tiny percentage of people it is a choice, but I can absolutely promise you that for the vast majority of people over 16, its definitely involuntary (virginity that is). I had sex for the first time just before my 18th birthday, but I never once claimed that before that, it was "my choice" to be a virgin. I would have given both of my arms to get some.

 

[Something Amyss]

That doesn't make it any less disturbing or stereotyping.

Never said it did. We all stereotype based on the people we meet, right?...

I treat people as people. I really didn't know this was such a radical idea until I was already in my mid-20s.

 

[Jenvas1306]

That doesn't make it any less disturbing or stereotyping.

Never said it did. We all stereotype based on the people we meet, right?...

I treat people as people. I really didn't know this was such a radical idea until I was already in my mid-20s.

Im Tg and I want people to acknowledge that I can be an ass or ***** as everyone else.
well I'm mostly quite nice, but thats has nothing to do with each other

 

[J Tyran]

Personally I think its a (largely western) cultural throwback. Men used to think men could only be masculine if they smelled bad, drank heavily, played sport and fought with other men and a large list of sexual conquests was mandatory too. Its very silly though, sex is obviously fun but the amount (or complete lack) of how much sex someone has is no indicator of either the quality of a person or the quality of their life.

 

[TelHybrid]

Because men are immature morons who see notches on their bed as badges of merit, and women are shallow as fuck and see male virgins as lesser men.