I don't understand male virgin shaming.

Faraja

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Zack Alklazaris said:
I know from experience many women find virgin guys hot. Sort of like unopened presents I guess or something.
Don't know where these women you meet are, but every woman I've met in real life felt one of three ways:

1) Did not care at all.
2) Thought it was cute in the same way a little kid was cute.
3) Wanted nothing to do with you sexually.

Oh, and there's one who thinks that anyone who hasn't had sex is gay. Be ye man or woman.
 

Bat Vader

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lax4life said:
Bat Vader said:
I am 25 years old and I am still a virgin. Personally, I don't care if people make fun of me for being a virgin. Their immaturity will just end up hurting them later in life. I plan on staying a virgin too. I will never trust anyone enough to get that close to someone. Plus, I don't want kids and remaining a virgin makes that goal 100% achievable.
You sir, shall be a powerful wizard indeed.

OT: Not meaning to repeat what almost everybody has already said, but yeah, society has a thing for glorifying sex and us darned adolescents must use it as a measuring stick to how awesome we are. (Not specifically any one of you in this thread but my idiotic generation as a whole)
When I turn 30 I should dress up as Gandalf The White from the LOTR books and films.
 

Bocaj2000

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Zhukov said:
Oh, come on.

It's not that bloody complicated.

The vast majority of male virgins are virgins because for one reason or another they have failed to attract a mate. (They will of course deny this with the ferocity of a thousand blazing supernovas, but they're not fooling anyone.) So they are made fun of for their failure in the same way others are fun of for theirs.

Then they get together in the musty corners of the internet and claim not to understand what anyone's talking about and reassure each other that, no really, they're just not focussed on relationships right now and society just doesn't understand.

...

It's obviously not a nice thing to do to people, but that's why it happens.
Am I the only one who agrees with you?

Men generally don't have sex due to their inability get a girl to see them as a mate. Men who can't get a mate are looked down upon by those who have already found one or more mates. Culturally sex is a symbol of becoming an adult and those who have it feel that, whether they are or not, they are more mature than a virginal male.

I hate seeing virgin threads on this forum... it makes me more sad than anything else.
 

Ziodyne64

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It comes down to this: A good key can open a lot of locks, but a bad lock will open for a lot of keys.
 

Faraja

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I can see why people do it. I think part of it has to do with a competitive desire. Not only has the person doing the shaming, but they can use that victory to further dominate others by holding it over their heads. It might be a small victory, or might not be, in the grand scheme of things, but it's still a victory; and could put you above someone else in the eyes of others. When the person being shamed can't get with someone, that just compounds that sense of accomplishment. Of course, some people can counter by saying its something that we're doing, but there's only so many times you can hear "you're a really nice guy, but I just don't think of you that way" before you start to wonder if anyone's telling you the truth

After a certain point, the person doing the shaming wouldn't even be necessary, since the shamed will start to take it out on themselves.

In my own experience, I was only rarely on the receiving end of any direct virgin shaming, and it was always the girls in my class in my classes doing it. Even with the indirect 'virgin shaming', it still largely comes from women. Like the one who says that all virgins are gay until proven otherwise, or the one who says she will never be with a virgin because it's just not worth it, or the multitudes on the internet who insist that you shouldn't ever admit to being a virgin. At least until the deed is done.

So, it's not just guys doing it to guys, or women doing it to women. It does, in fact, cross the gender border.

To the guy who said good things come to those who wait; I'm sorry, but wtf? When has waiting ever gotten anybody anything?
 

Flying Dagger

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I kinda disagree with what most people are saying...

As someone who was all ashamed of being a virgin (until 19), then lost my virginity, the main change is in attitude.

As a virgin people react very differently to sex and the idea of sex then those who have had it, this makes them very identifiable, this gets commented on, said person feels ashamed. In some circles by immature people this denotes two things - not being able to attract a sexual partner and secondly not being very good should one be called upon to be a sexual partner (its pretty frickin difficult first time round), but when I think back on it most of the time when I was "shamed" due to my virginity, it was mostly in my head... someone would say it (its fairly obvious as I said) and I would panic, brutally re-evaluate my self worth and be ashamed.

If you're confident in who you are you don't need to worry about this sort of thing, but that sort of confidence doesn't come easy.
 

Faraja

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TopazFusion said:
Zack Alklazaris said:
I know from experience many women find virgin guys hot. Sort of like unopened presents I guess or something.
I've heard this too.

That there's a certain appeal to 'deflowering' your partner for the first time.
Until these posts, I've never heard that. Across many different sites and a lot of conversation, I have never heard anyone say that they find male virginity attractive. More often then not, it was something women wanted to avoid, out of fear that their partner wouldn't posses the experience and skills to make the experience and enjoyable one. So, I'm not sure where you live, but clearly the women there are different.
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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Ieyke said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Chicago Ted said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
I could give zero fucks. I was crazy into girls when I was 14 but then I just realised "Whats the point? Why am I chasing after these shallow creatures?"
So I'll probably stay a virgin for at least another year (I have a bet with friends that I can turn 20 and still have it. The pots up to £30 now) but even then I'll be not chasing after it. Call me sad but I prefer my games, my 40k miniatures and a good laugh with mates to female company. Sure I can talk to them but if I'm not drunk then I just give them cold indifferance most of the time.

People can point how how sad or how I'm missing out all they want but my life is mine. I don't want to share it with anyone.
I will not call you sad for preferring to play games and hang out with friends. No, I instead see you as that for harbouring such warped misogynistic view point.

To refer to females as "shallow creatures" is perhaps one of the most disgusting things I've seen when reading over most of this thread. Just because they are of another gender, does not make them inherently bad. I'm going to lay on one earth shattering thought for you now in the idea that "Women are people too". There are a good number of them that do not want to pursue you, or to have you pursue them, and who are instead more interested in hanging out, shooting the shit, or just being friends. Just because they're female, doesn't mean they don't enjoy a good game, or just sitting back and enjoying wasting the time away with good company. While all might not share the same interests as you, I can say that there are going to be just as many men who probably don't as well. To have such an aggressive stance against their general existence like that, is something that would make me as a person not want to associate with you. I feel like I have to drum out the most basic lessons taught to you in pre-school here that ?Everyone is a person?.

Seriously, you?re the one referring to them as shallow creatures, yet you sit there from your pedestal judging all as being not worth your time, and not even giving the decency of being polite to them. Do you not see the hypocrisy you create? I do hope you remain a virgin for as long as you keep these views, not out of spite for you, but because I have far more pity for the girl who would wake up beside you, and sees your true colours.

As for an OT view, I do not shame other males for their virginity, UNLESS they speak of sex frequently, but never seem to pursue it themselves. To give context, in one of my social circles, we have one friend, who frequently talks about getting a girl, screwing, and other things similar, but when the time comes he never steps up. When he makes comments or questions on my sex life not being as active as some others (I?ll step aside to highlight that this is of choice, out of that group, I am the one with the lowest sex drive), I?ll follow up by ragging on him for still being a virgin. That I feel though is more due to the fact that he?s the one opening up the box, and trying to tease about it in the first place, so he opens himself up for it.
I know full well they are people however, in my experience, I havn't had a worthwhile conversation with a woman ever. During my early teens I had alot of conversations but they were just bullshit and meaningless.

I guess I just don't get on with girls that well. Theres like 3 girls in my college class who i'll occasionally so hello to and I work with a girl who won't shut her mouth about her science course. They never talk about anything interesting ever.

To be honest I came very close once but I couldn't go through with it because it was my friends sister.

Anyway, I don't walk around the place giving every woman a horrible look or swerving to avoid them in the street. Cold indifferance. I'll answer if they talk to me but not say anything beyond that. I don't often openly rage about them, I mostly just...ignore them.
For the record, you need to talk to more women. Not to date them or whatever, but just to know the other half of your species AT ALL, it would seem.

Women are in all seriousness just as different from each other as men are.
Hell, the differences between men and women, aside from the obvious physical differences, is almost COMPLETELY nonexistent on a fundamental level. If not for stereotypes modifying men and women to behave differently, I'm pretty damn sure we'd both behave the same.
If you can't find an interesting, compelling, friendly, down to earth, woman to talk to or be friends with, that's JUST because you haven't talked to the right ones, the same way that if you went and talked to 90% of guys you wouldn't want to be friends with them either.

For example, my "twin", being the person I know who happens to think and act EXACTLY like me, to the point that I refer to them as "alternate reality me", is Emily, a hot Swedezuelan (half Swedish, half Venezuelan) girl who's a couple years younger than me.
Just behind Emily in being JUST like me, are 3 more women, 1 guy, and my brother.

Until July of last year, I had a pretty damn huge group of friends, and they were mostly guys. I eventually got so fed up with their petty bullshit that I exiled basically all of them from my domain. You know who I kept from that group? One girl, because she was the only reasonable one.

The only person I personally know, who I genuinely admire, completely respect and trust, and whose wisdom I will follow over even my own? A girl a mere 17 days older than me.

As of right now, my collection of real friends consists of 5 guys and 5 girls.

For every dumb girl out there who won't shut her mouth about some stupid crape you don't care about there is a guy who won't shut the hell up about sports or cars, or whatever.
For every vapid, stereotypical, sorority girl/cheerleader out there, there's an equally vapid frat boy/bro.
For every chick that is obsessed with her classes or job, there is a dude equally obsessed with the same.
For every slutty barely dressed chick there is some douchbag guy with a popped collar.
For every intelligent guy there's an intelligent girl.
For every guy geeking out over comics, or video games, or whatever, there is a girl doing the same, or girls who would love to do the same if their society didn't make them feel somehow ashamed for wanting to do so.

That's part of the whole problem between guys and girls not seeing each other as people fully capable of sharing interests - there's still this big nebulous vague societal view that girls are somehow wrong for acting like guys or liking what guys like, even if that's completely natural to them. A lot of girls consciously or subconsciously shy away from stuff like that and just find something else to do.
As a result, it's a lot harder than it should be for men and women to realize that we're pretty much exactly the same, and "gamer girls" (I.e. girls who don't give a crap about stereotypes, and who will simply do whatever they like regardless of what anyone thinks) become like gorram magical unicorns to guys who think that they're a genuine rarity.

I guess I'm real fortunate to have a wider perspective in this stuff, since from 5th grade to 12th grade I had a group of guys and girls who stuck together through anything and everything and pretty much raised each other, in a cultural sense, so we sort of existed beyond any awareness or perception of stigmas. And that has lead those girls from our group to finding more girls of the same sort who THEY were friends with, and as a result I know them too. And it lead all of the guys from that group to approaching other women without the notion that they might not like the same stuff we do, and therefore an awful lot of women open up to us and feel comfortable being themselves around us, and as a result we have a pretty extensive group of men and women we KNOW from personal experience are just like us.
You'll occasionally see me reference the fact that I have several, close, ridiculously attractive, female friends, or that one of my best friends is also the hottest woman I've ever seen in real life.....this is why. They're all girls who we treat with the same assumptions as we treat guys, and they treat us as if we 're just like them. Some of them just happened to grow up to be smokin' hot.
We regularly discuss games, politics, history, books, movies, tv shows, work, school, personal lives, etc etc etc, just the same as I'd talk to another guy friend or as they would talk to another female friend.


When I see people on the Internet flipping out about some "gamer girl" or saying crap like how women are shallow creatures who they can't be bothered to deal with....it makes me sad. It also makes me occasionally wonder if maybe Houston is just some sort of bizarre secret paradise where all the good ladies occur, but then I cruise around the Internet some more and see that CLEARLY they're not all here, and my friends will travel around the country and almost effortlessly find women just like the ones we know, so it HAS TO be a matter of how you approach them. It's the only explanation that makes any sense.
Talk to women with a negative preconception of them, and they probably won't bother to waste the time dispelling your delusions.
Talk to women with a mind set towards treating them as you would want to be treated, and a lot of them may very well respond in kind, and suddenly you'll find women you can relate to and be friends with.
.
.
.
You know, this all REALLY just boils down to that ancient Golden Rule of treating people the way you want to be treated.
It's not rocket science, even though an awful lot of people seem to have it in their heads that it somehow IS.
Well that would make sense...if i didn't live in Newcastle. Ratio of shallow ***** to interesting person is 10:1 here. I know this because I used to drink heavily from when I was 14 to 16 (I still drink heavily actually) and I spent those two years getting drunk, talking to everyone and generally socialising. I felt like I wasted those two years. I got with girls but it never went far and then next week it was on to try again. It was an eternal circle that would never end, that and the fact that drinking dulls my ears and mind to normally what pisses me off.

11 months and after I win my £30 bet I propably soften up a little but it won't do anygood. There are 4 girls in a class of 60 on my course and none of them are particularly interesting.
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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GunsmithKitten said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
GunsmithKitten said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
I could give zero fucks. I was crazy into girls when I was 14 but then I just realised "Whats the point? Why am I chasing after these shallow creatures?"
So I'll probably stay a virgin for at least another year (I have a bet with friends that I can turn 20 and still have it. The pots up to £30 now) but even then I'll be not chasing after it. Call me sad but I prefer my games, my 40k miniatures and a good laugh with mates to female company. Sure I can talk to them but if I'm not drunk then I just give them cold indifferance most of the time.

People can point how how sad or how I'm missing out all they want but my life is mine. I don't want to share it with anyone.
I can understand not feeling the need to pursue a relationship, but for cripes sake, does that require you being a jerk to the opposite gender all around?
Its the best thing to keep them away from me. I can be nice to them when I can be bothered with thier bullshit.
I suppose it is a good thing to keep women away from you. I really don't envy any woman that WOULD want to be close to someone like you.
I'm horrifcly good at feigning interest and comfort. you honestly think I walked around being an open dick to them? No. If I don't want to talk: One word answers, if theres no way around that: Smile and be nice till she walks away.

However, the general feedback seems that my extra coldness towards them over the next 11 months will be a success at keeping them away. I've got £30 to win.
 

llubtoille

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Basing on nothing more than my own thoughts...

For men sex is essentially a sport, so to say you've not played that sport is the same as saying you're bad it.
saying you're a virgin male is essentially saying you're bad at sex.

saying you're not interested in sex is like being in a (big sport here) club and saying you don't care for that sport
there goes 95% of the conversations you can participate in.

The repulsion of a female 'slut', is that you'll never measure up to her more memorable experiences,
that and the general feeling she's probably carrying all kinds of nasties

whereas a female virgin won't know if you're good or bad, as she'll have nothing to really compare it to.
the down side of a virgin being that they probably have no idea what they're doing, so can be less fun.
 

Zack Alklazaris

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Faraja said:
Zack Alklazaris said:
I know from experience many women find virgin guys hot. Sort of like unopened presents I guess or something.
Don't know where these women you meet are, but every woman I've met in real life felt one of three ways:

1) Did not care at all.
2) Thought it was cute in the same way a little kid was cute.
3) Wanted nothing to do with you sexually.

Oh, and there's one who thinks that anyone who hasn't had sex is gay. Be ye man or woman.
Well if it makes any better sense the women that I did meet were either territorial, had it as a fetish, or was a whore. Your right I have been in relationships with women who didn't care, but man the ones that did were absolutely amazing.
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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bleys2487 said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
GunsmithKitten said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
I could give zero fucks. I was crazy into girls when I was 14 but then I just realised "Whats the point? Why am I chasing after these shallow creatures?"
So I'll probably stay a virgin for at least another year (I have a bet with friends that I can turn 20 and still have it. The pots up to £30 now) but even then I'll be not chasing after it. Call me sad but I prefer my games, my 40k miniatures and a good laugh with mates to female company. Sure I can talk to them but if I'm not drunk then I just give them cold indifferance most of the time.

People can point how how sad or how I'm missing out all they want but my life is mine. I don't want to share it with anyone.
I can understand not feeling the need to pursue a relationship, but for cripes sake, does that require you being a jerk to the opposite gender all around?
Its the best thing to keep them away from me. I can be nice to them when I can be bothered with thier bullshit.

Let's just hate on an entire gender because god forbid one of them was mean to you at some point in time. Clearly they all must be shallow creatures. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your generalizing point of view of them. It's clearly all their fault and every single one of them for the way you feel.

/sarcasm off

As a woman, I wouldn't understand why any woman would want to be around you in the first place. Let alone deal with your 'bullshit', especially if you're just going to generalize us all as 'shallow creatures' and not human being simply because we were born with a vagina.

Grow up.
I'm not generalising because one was mean to me. Be it man or woman I can't stand idiots, people who don't think about anything past the next weeks booze or what clothes they are wearing. I can handle people being mean to me, believe me, especially women. I spent two years chasing drunkingly after them and then stopped because it became boring and felt like a grind. Tell you what, I'll talk to a girl if she can tell me the full title of Ulthwe, knows what Brisingr means, knows how many shots a DMR takes to drop a Spartan then I'll consider talking to her. Because she will have somehow defied stereotype and even thenit would be genuine interest but then she'd be just me and I don't want to go out with me.

As I said to someone else I don't walk around like some patriarchal tyrant and verbally beat on women. One word answers if I can't be bothered and feign interest with a smile if I can. Except its gonna be all cold, one word answers this year and general feedback from the thread shows me that people get riled up even when I describe my attitude. I am not paying out £30 because I got lax.

On a side note, notice how my avatar is a woman? Just pointing that out. Idranel is cool as shit. She's mystical and can see the future and is nowhere near boring.
 

Vault101

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VeneratedWulfen93 said:
cause I'm sure theres a whole line of ladies queing up with an attitude like tha, no wonder you must fight to keep them away/sarcasm

honestly though why don't you give 51% of people in the world a chance? (I don;t mean dating..I mean think of us as humnan beings first and foremost) you may find that some of us are actually like you?
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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Vault101 said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
cause I'm sure theres a whole line of ladies queing up with an attitude like tha, no wonder you must fight to keep them away/sarcasm

honestly though why don't you give 51% of people in the world a chance? (I don;t mean dating..I mean think of us as humnan beings first and foremost) you may find that some of us are actually like you?
I'm good at making people thinking I like them when I don't. Anyway I ain't risking it. £30 man. I could get 9 Desperados with that.
 

Ieyke

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VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Ieyke said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Chicago Ted said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
I could give zero fucks. I was crazy into girls when I was 14 but then I just realised "Whats the point? Why am I chasing after these shallow creatures?"
So I'll probably stay a virgin for at least another year (I have a bet with friends that I can turn 20 and still have it. The pots up to £30 now) but even then I'll be not chasing after it. Call me sad but I prefer my games, my 40k miniatures and a good laugh with mates to female company. Sure I can talk to them but if I'm not drunk then I just give them cold indifferance most of the time.

People can point how how sad or how I'm missing out all they want but my life is mine. I don't want to share it with anyone.
I will not call you sad for preferring to play games and hang out with friends. No, I instead see you as that for harbouring such warped misogynistic view point.

To refer to females as "shallow creatures" is perhaps one of the most disgusting things I've seen when reading over most of this thread. Just because they are of another gender, does not make them inherently bad. I'm going to lay on one earth shattering thought for you now in the idea that "Women are people too". There are a good number of them that do not want to pursue you, or to have you pursue them, and who are instead more interested in hanging out, shooting the shit, or just being friends. Just because they're female, doesn't mean they don't enjoy a good game, or just sitting back and enjoying wasting the time away with good company. While all might not share the same interests as you, I can say that there are going to be just as many men who probably don't as well. To have such an aggressive stance against their general existence like that, is something that would make me as a person not want to associate with you. I feel like I have to drum out the most basic lessons taught to you in pre-school here that ?Everyone is a person?.

Seriously, you?re the one referring to them as shallow creatures, yet you sit there from your pedestal judging all as being not worth your time, and not even giving the decency of being polite to them. Do you not see the hypocrisy you create? I do hope you remain a virgin for as long as you keep these views, not out of spite for you, but because I have far more pity for the girl who would wake up beside you, and sees your true colours.

As for an OT view, I do not shame other males for their virginity, UNLESS they speak of sex frequently, but never seem to pursue it themselves. To give context, in one of my social circles, we have one friend, who frequently talks about getting a girl, screwing, and other things similar, but when the time comes he never steps up. When he makes comments or questions on my sex life not being as active as some others (I?ll step aside to highlight that this is of choice, out of that group, I am the one with the lowest sex drive), I?ll follow up by ragging on him for still being a virgin. That I feel though is more due to the fact that he?s the one opening up the box, and trying to tease about it in the first place, so he opens himself up for it.
I know full well they are people however, in my experience, I havn't had a worthwhile conversation with a woman ever. During my early teens I had alot of conversations but they were just bullshit and meaningless.

I guess I just don't get on with girls that well. Theres like 3 girls in my college class who i'll occasionally so hello to and I work with a girl who won't shut her mouth about her science course. They never talk about anything interesting ever.

To be honest I came very close once but I couldn't go through with it because it was my friends sister.

Anyway, I don't walk around the place giving every woman a horrible look or swerving to avoid them in the street. Cold indifferance. I'll answer if they talk to me but not say anything beyond that. I don't often openly rage about them, I mostly just...ignore them.
For the record, you need to talk to more women. Not to date them or whatever, but just to know the other half of your species AT ALL, it would seem.

Women are in all seriousness just as different from each other as men are.
Hell, the differences between men and women, aside from the obvious physical differences, is almost COMPLETELY nonexistent on a fundamental level. If not for stereotypes modifying men and women to behave differently, I'm pretty damn sure we'd both behave the same.
If you can't find an interesting, compelling, friendly, down to earth, woman to talk to or be friends with, that's JUST because you haven't talked to the right ones, the same way that if you went and talked to 90% of guys you wouldn't want to be friends with them either.

For example, my "twin", being the person I know who happens to think and act EXACTLY like me, to the point that I refer to them as "alternate reality me", is Emily, a hot Swedezuelan (half Swedish, half Venezuelan) girl who's a couple years younger than me.
Just behind Emily in being JUST like me, are 3 more women, 1 guy, and my brother.

Until July of last year, I had a pretty damn huge group of friends, and they were mostly guys. I eventually got so fed up with their petty bullshit that I exiled basically all of them from my domain. You know who I kept from that group? One girl, because she was the only reasonable one.

The only person I personally know, who I genuinely admire, completely respect and trust, and whose wisdom I will follow over even my own? A girl a mere 17 days older than me.

As of right now, my collection of real friends consists of 5 guys and 5 girls.

For every dumb girl out there who won't shut her mouth about some stupid crape you don't care about there is a guy who won't shut the hell up about sports or cars, or whatever.
For every vapid, stereotypical, sorority girl/cheerleader out there, there's an equally vapid frat boy/bro.
For every chick that is obsessed with her classes or job, there is a dude equally obsessed with the same.
For every slutty barely dressed chick there is some douchbag guy with a popped collar.
For every intelligent guy there's an intelligent girl.
For every guy geeking out over comics, or video games, or whatever, there is a girl doing the same, or girls who would love to do the same if their society didn't make them feel somehow ashamed for wanting to do so.

That's part of the whole problem between guys and girls not seeing each other as people fully capable of sharing interests - there's still this big nebulous vague societal view that girls are somehow wrong for acting like guys or liking what guys like, even if that's completely natural to them. A lot of girls consciously or subconsciously shy away from stuff like that and just find something else to do.
As a result, it's a lot harder than it should be for men and women to realize that we're pretty much exactly the same, and "gamer girls" (I.e. girls who don't give a crap about stereotypes, and who will simply do whatever they like regardless of what anyone thinks) become like gorram magical unicorns to guys who think that they're a genuine rarity.

I guess I'm real fortunate to have a wider perspective in this stuff, since from 5th grade to 12th grade I had a group of guys and girls who stuck together through anything and everything and pretty much raised each other, in a cultural sense, so we sort of existed beyond any awareness or perception of stigmas. And that has lead those girls from our group to finding more girls of the same sort who THEY were friends with, and as a result I know them too. And it lead all of the guys from that group to approaching other women without the notion that they might not like the same stuff we do, and therefore an awful lot of women open up to us and feel comfortable being themselves around us, and as a result we have a pretty extensive group of men and women we KNOW from personal experience are just like us.
You'll occasionally see me reference the fact that I have several, close, ridiculously attractive, female friends, or that one of my best friends is also the hottest woman I've ever seen in real life.....this is why. They're all girls who we treat with the same assumptions as we treat guys, and they treat us as if we 're just like them. Some of them just happened to grow up to be smokin' hot.
We regularly discuss games, politics, history, books, movies, tv shows, work, school, personal lives, etc etc etc, just the same as I'd talk to another guy friend or as they would talk to another female friend.


When I see people on the Internet flipping out about some "gamer girl" or saying crap like how women are shallow creatures who they can't be bothered to deal with....it makes me sad. It also makes me occasionally wonder if maybe Houston is just some sort of bizarre secret paradise where all the good ladies occur, but then I cruise around the Internet some more and see that CLEARLY they're not all here, and my friends will travel around the country and almost effortlessly find women just like the ones we know, so it HAS TO be a matter of how you approach them. It's the only explanation that makes any sense.
Talk to women with a negative preconception of them, and they probably won't bother to waste the time dispelling your delusions.
Talk to women with a mind set towards treating them as you would want to be treated, and a lot of them may very well respond in kind, and suddenly you'll find women you can relate to and be friends with.
.
.
.
You know, this all REALLY just boils down to that ancient Golden Rule of treating people the way you want to be treated.
It's not rocket science, even though an awful lot of people seem to have it in their heads that it somehow IS.
Well that would make sense...if i didn't live in Newcastle. Ratio of shallow ***** to interesting person is 10:1 here. I know this because I used to drink heavily from when I was 14 to 16 (I still drink heavily actually) and I spent those two years getting drunk, talking to everyone and generally socialising. I felt like I wasted those two years. I got with girls but it never went far and then next week it was on to try again. It was an eternal circle that would never end, that and the fact that drinking dulls my ears and mind to normally what pisses me off.

11 months and after I win my £30 bet I propably soften up a little but it won't do anygood. There are 4 girls in a class of 60 on my course and none of them are particularly interesting.
You know where a good place to meet the type of girls worth talking to ISN'T?
Out where people are getting wasted.

Coincidentally, also a terrible place for women to meet guys who are worth a damn.
 

rosac

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Sep 13, 2008
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A lot of people at uni know I'm a virgin, and they don't give a shit. Hell, some of them say I don't count as a virgin the amount of times I've ended up in bed with a girl and been cockblocked by mother nature/alcohol/illness on her part. I think it's not really something that affects all men, but possibly a majority.I don't know.
 

Zanderinfal

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Nov 21, 2009
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thaluikhain said:
Cause society has some fucking stupid ideas sometimes.
Hey, let me fix that for ya.
thaluikhain said:
Cause society is fucking stupid... all the time.
Yep, that outta do it.

OT: I think it's a load of shit. Who cares if you had sex with a girl? Alot of people do that, and just because you do doesn't mean you rub it in peoples faces. At least, unless you are being paying someone to rub something in their faces (Every girl you guys have ever slept with, i might add), but I digress.

This is horseshit and people have to learn that or society is going to make no progress at all.
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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Oct 3, 2011
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Ieyke said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Ieyke said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Chicago Ted said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
I could give zero fucks. I was crazy into girls when I was 14 but then I just realised "Whats the point? Why am I chasing after these shallow creatures?"
So I'll probably stay a virgin for at least another year (I have a bet with friends that I can turn 20 and still have it. The pots up to £30 now) but even then I'll be not chasing after it. Call me sad but I prefer my games, my 40k miniatures and a good laugh with mates to female company. Sure I can talk to them but if I'm not drunk then I just give them cold indifferance most of the time.

People can point how how sad or how I'm missing out all they want but my life is mine. I don't want to share it with anyone.
I will not call you sad for preferring to play games and hang out with friends. No, I instead see you as that for harbouring such warped misogynistic view point.

To refer to females as "shallow creatures" is perhaps one of the most disgusting things I've seen when reading over most of this thread. Just because they are of another gender, does not make them inherently bad. I'm going to lay on one earth shattering thought for you now in the idea that "Women are people too". There are a good number of them that do not want to pursue you, or to have you pursue them, and who are instead more interested in hanging out, shooting the shit, or just being friends. Just because they're female, doesn't mean they don't enjoy a good game, or just sitting back and enjoying wasting the time away with good company. While all might not share the same interests as you, I can say that there are going to be just as many men who probably don't as well. To have such an aggressive stance against their general existence like that, is something that would make me as a person not want to associate with you. I feel like I have to drum out the most basic lessons taught to you in pre-school here that ?Everyone is a person?.

Seriously, you?re the one referring to them as shallow creatures, yet you sit there from your pedestal judging all as being not worth your time, and not even giving the decency of being polite to them. Do you not see the hypocrisy you create? I do hope you remain a virgin for as long as you keep these views, not out of spite for you, but because I have far more pity for the girl who would wake up beside you, and sees your true colours.

As for an OT view, I do not shame other males for their virginity, UNLESS they speak of sex frequently, but never seem to pursue it themselves. To give context, in one of my social circles, we have one friend, who frequently talks about getting a girl, screwing, and other things similar, but when the time comes he never steps up. When he makes comments or questions on my sex life not being as active as some others (I?ll step aside to highlight that this is of choice, out of that group, I am the one with the lowest sex drive), I?ll follow up by ragging on him for still being a virgin. That I feel though is more due to the fact that he?s the one opening up the box, and trying to tease about it in the first place, so he opens himself up for it.
I know full well they are people however, in my experience, I havn't had a worthwhile conversation with a woman ever. During my early teens I had alot of conversations but they were just bullshit and meaningless.

I guess I just don't get on with girls that well. Theres like 3 girls in my college class who i'll occasionally so hello to and I work with a girl who won't shut her mouth about her science course. They never talk about anything interesting ever.

To be honest I came very close once but I couldn't go through with it because it was my friends sister.

Anyway, I don't walk around the place giving every woman a horrible look or swerving to avoid them in the street. Cold indifferance. I'll answer if they talk to me but not say anything beyond that. I don't often openly rage about them, I mostly just...ignore them.
For the record, you need to talk to more women. Not to date them or whatever, but just to know the other half of your species AT ALL, it would seem.

Women are in all seriousness just as different from each other as men are.
Hell, the differences between men and women, aside from the obvious physical differences, is almost COMPLETELY nonexistent on a fundamental level. If not for stereotypes modifying men and women to behave differently, I'm pretty damn sure we'd both behave the same.
If you can't find an interesting, compelling, friendly, down to earth, woman to talk to or be friends with, that's JUST because you haven't talked to the right ones, the same way that if you went and talked to 90% of guys you wouldn't want to be friends with them either.

For example, my "twin", being the person I know who happens to think and act EXACTLY like me, to the point that I refer to them as "alternate reality me", is Emily, a hot Swedezuelan (half Swedish, half Venezuelan) girl who's a couple years younger than me.
Just behind Emily in being JUST like me, are 3 more women, 1 guy, and my brother.

Until July of last year, I had a pretty damn huge group of friends, and they were mostly guys. I eventually got so fed up with their petty bullshit that I exiled basically all of them from my domain. You know who I kept from that group? One girl, because she was the only reasonable one.

The only person I personally know, who I genuinely admire, completely respect and trust, and whose wisdom I will follow over even my own? A girl a mere 17 days older than me.

As of right now, my collection of real friends consists of 5 guys and 5 girls.

For every dumb girl out there who won't shut her mouth about some stupid crape you don't care about there is a guy who won't shut the hell up about sports or cars, or whatever.
For every vapid, stereotypical, sorority girl/cheerleader out there, there's an equally vapid frat boy/bro.
For every chick that is obsessed with her classes or job, there is a dude equally obsessed with the same.
For every slutty barely dressed chick there is some douchbag guy with a popped collar.
For every intelligent guy there's an intelligent girl.
For every guy geeking out over comics, or video games, or whatever, there is a girl doing the same, or girls who would love to do the same if their society didn't make them feel somehow ashamed for wanting to do so.

That's part of the whole problem between guys and girls not seeing each other as people fully capable of sharing interests - there's still this big nebulous vague societal view that girls are somehow wrong for acting like guys or liking what guys like, even if that's completely natural to them. A lot of girls consciously or subconsciously shy away from stuff like that and just find something else to do.
As a result, it's a lot harder than it should be for men and women to realize that we're pretty much exactly the same, and "gamer girls" (I.e. girls who don't give a crap about stereotypes, and who will simply do whatever they like regardless of what anyone thinks) become like gorram magical unicorns to guys who think that they're a genuine rarity.

I guess I'm real fortunate to have a wider perspective in this stuff, since from 5th grade to 12th grade I had a group of guys and girls who stuck together through anything and everything and pretty much raised each other, in a cultural sense, so we sort of existed beyond any awareness or perception of stigmas. And that has lead those girls from our group to finding more girls of the same sort who THEY were friends with, and as a result I know them too. And it lead all of the guys from that group to approaching other women without the notion that they might not like the same stuff we do, and therefore an awful lot of women open up to us and feel comfortable being themselves around us, and as a result we have a pretty extensive group of men and women we KNOW from personal experience are just like us.
You'll occasionally see me reference the fact that I have several, close, ridiculously attractive, female friends, or that one of my best friends is also the hottest woman I've ever seen in real life.....this is why. They're all girls who we treat with the same assumptions as we treat guys, and they treat us as if we 're just like them. Some of them just happened to grow up to be smokin' hot.
We regularly discuss games, politics, history, books, movies, tv shows, work, school, personal lives, etc etc etc, just the same as I'd talk to another guy friend or as they would talk to another female friend.


When I see people on the Internet flipping out about some "gamer girl" or saying crap like how women are shallow creatures who they can't be bothered to deal with....it makes me sad. It also makes me occasionally wonder if maybe Houston is just some sort of bizarre secret paradise where all the good ladies occur, but then I cruise around the Internet some more and see that CLEARLY they're not all here, and my friends will travel around the country and almost effortlessly find women just like the ones we know, so it HAS TO be a matter of how you approach them. It's the only explanation that makes any sense.
Talk to women with a negative preconception of them, and they probably won't bother to waste the time dispelling your delusions.
Talk to women with a mind set towards treating them as you would want to be treated, and a lot of them may very well respond in kind, and suddenly you'll find women you can relate to and be friends with.
.
.
.
You know, this all REALLY just boils down to that ancient Golden Rule of treating people the way you want to be treated.
It's not rocket science, even though an awful lot of people seem to have it in their heads that it somehow IS.
Well that would make sense...if i didn't live in Newcastle. Ratio of shallow ***** to interesting person is 10:1 here. I know this because I used to drink heavily from when I was 14 to 16 (I still drink heavily actually) and I spent those two years getting drunk, talking to everyone and generally socialising. I felt like I wasted those two years. I got with girls but it never went far and then next week it was on to try again. It was an eternal circle that would never end, that and the fact that drinking dulls my ears and mind to normally what pisses me off.

11 months and after I win my £30 bet I propably soften up a little but it won't do anygood. There are 4 girls in a class of 60 on my course and none of them are particularly interesting.
You know where a good place to meet the type of girls worth talking to ISN'T?
Out where people are getting wasted.

Coincidentally, also a terrible place for women to meet guys who are worth a damn.
Ironically, when i'm drunk is the only time I can stand them and maybe even like them. All my willpower just flies away and I hate myself for it, even more now since it might lose me money.

Once again I must stress: Newcastle. Geordie Shore may go over the top but still when I was at 6th form 90% of the lads only cared about 'pulling birds' while the lasses just kept trying to see who was wearing the shorter skirt.
 

crimson sickle2

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Sep 30, 2009
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The process is seen as a rite of passage to turn into a true man for some. Having sex literally raises your testosterone levels, so it does produce a slight physical change. From what I've heard, the idea behind the respect isn't that the man will have sex with anyone at all, but rather he can have sex with anyone. Because getting it is seen as a difficult task, the man getting laid every day is said to accomplish a great feat.

I'm against such praise personally, but those are the reasons I've heard.