I don't understand male virgin shaming.

[Bat Vader]

I am 25 years old and I am still a virgin. Personally, I don't care if people make fun of me for being a virgin. Their immaturity will just end up hurting them later in life. I plan on staying a virgin too. I will never trust anyone enough to get that close to someone. Plus, I don't want kids and remaining a virgin makes that goal 100% achievable.

 

[Phasmal]

Men are depicted as and expected to be aggressors, being sexually aggressive is the "proper" way to be a man. If you aren't, then you are looked down upon by other men. On the off hand, women who have sex with lots of men are seen as disgusting sluts, so really that makes no sense.

It makes perfect sense. Think about this way: if you have a key that can open lots of different locks, you would have to say that's a pretty damn awesome key, right? But if you have a lock that can be opened by lots of different keys, well, that's a pretty shitty lock. Amirite?

Seriously though, I was 20 before I lost my virginity. There was some winding up from mates who had lost theirs but I don't actually remember it being that bad. And I'm still quite proud that I didn't lose mine until I was with someone I had genuinely deep feelings for. Seriously, there's no shame in it.

Ew, did you have to Captain Keydick the thread? =P

Anywho, I don't understand why anyone cares what anyone does with their naughty bits as long as its all consentual and legal and all that.

It's stupid that men are expected to have sex and women are expected to not.
I suggest if you meet people who buy into that crap to roll your eyes dramatically.
It can't get to you if you don't let it.

 

[Rastien]

It's simple...

People will take the piss out of you for anything and everything.

In fact i'm sure some of you look down on others for being religious or at least mock them for it?

Well the fact you're a virgin as harsh as this sounds is something to be mocked for just like anything else dickheads will mock you for.

Just don't let it get to you, go about your day and don't think about it, seriously worrying about this shit isn't good.

Also! think about it this way...

Statistically your bloodline and family have done something right for generations! so chances are you will get some dick/puss depending on your preference. Don't worry about it yo, it may take awhile but when you get there it will be awesome .

Spoiler

and probably quite short lived experience the first time to!

 

[hooblabla6262]

It's not wrong or bad to be a virgin. It just makes me kind of sad.
The same way I'd be sad if you told me you'd never tried ice cream.
There is this incredible experience that some are missing out on.
And you supposedly only live once.

I get that some people are scared, or that they want the first time to be perfect.
Frankly, I blame poor parenting and sappy love stories.
They either end up making sex this frightening entity which must be handled with a hazmat suit, or they place it high up on a pedestal where no one can reach.

I used to be the type to idolize. Sex was my passion, and I hadn't even had sex yet.
After my first time, I still loved sex. Not to the point I had previously.
It became real to me, instead of some distant idea.

Oh, and don't give me shit for comparing sex to ice cream =P

 

[SinisterGehe]

It's not wrong or bad to be a virgin. Just kind of sad.
The same way I'd be sad if you told me you'd never tried ice cream.
There is this incredible experience that some are missing out on.
And you supposedly only live once.

I get that some people are scared, or that they want the first time to be perfect.
Frankly, I blame poor parenting and sappy love stories.
They either end up making sex this frightening entity which must be handled with a hazmat suit, or they place it high up on a pedestal where no one can reach.

I used to be the type to idolize. Sex was my passion, and I hadn't even had sex yet.
After my first time, I still loved sex. Not to the point I had previously.
It became real to me, instead of some distant idea.

Oh, and don't give me shit for comparing sex to ice cream =P

Woah... Just... Woah... You think people can be happy while missing an experience?
you re acting like you have experienced everything there is to experience and there for can comment about people who haven't experienced things that you have? Ever heard of variety of life? Have you been at the bottom of the ocean ridges? On top of a volcano? swam with the sharks? had religious experience?

Do you know what experience you are missing for not being a virgin?
All experiences in life are equal!!! you can't say my life's experiences are worth any less than yours...

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Also isn't social relationships just as important as romantic relationships? Because far as I know even animals have social partners and sexual partners, separated from each other. If animals have such biological need, why don't we? After all we are share the same biological needs.

You can have social partners without the pressure of sexual interaction. They are called friends.

Sex releases oxytocin, which is a fairly essential hormone when it comes to pair bonding. It makes you feel more content, more trusting, more attached to your mate. Putting aside for a moment that for the majority of mammals sex is an a priori biological drive that can not be fully subdued by societal pressure or personal will, individuals who have had sexual relationships in the past will often find that the sex brought them closer to their partners. It is something they crave, on a chemical level.

I can't say WHY you don't share the need because I have no idea. It could be a chemical imbalance, it could be a psychological block. It will make finding a relationship more difficult for you, but that's part of life. We all have quirks that make finding relationships more difficult, yours is just a stiffer hurdle to overcome than most. But it's not "unfair" when people seek what they desire in a romantic relationship. I don't care if what they desire is a younger woman, or a richer man, or harder abs, or a rounder butt. People like what they like. Romantic attraction is very seldom voluntary, and you can't gainsay people for having preferences.

And OT: Biology is why male virgins are "shamed", I would imagine. Guys are hard wired to spread their genes as far and wide as possible.

 

[2xDouble]

also they Idea that if you don;t get sex then theres somthing wrong with you,

honestly people shouldn't make a big deal out of it...its private

And yet, here they are discussing it in pseudo-public... making a big deal out of it, according to the comments in between these. Kids these days, hm?

 

[MetalMagpie]

Apparently if you're a female virgin, you're some sort of holy grail.

Not in London, you're not. I used to lie (not explicitly, just through insinuation) when I was in sixth form, because admitting to being a virgin of either gender at 16 was cause for ridicule. Especially as a girl, because it implied you must be either a mad-Catholic or pug-ugly.

The silly thing is, according to some stats, about two-thirds of my school-mates were also lying!

 

[hooblabla6262]

It's not wrong or bad to be a virgin. Just kind of sad.
The same way I'd be sad if you told me you'd never tried ice cream.
There is this incredible experience that some are missing out on.
And you supposedly only live once.

I get that some people are scared, or that they want the first time to be perfect.
Frankly, I blame poor parenting and sappy love stories.
They either end up making sex this frightening entity which must be handled with a hazmat suit, or they place it high up on a pedestal where no one can reach.

I used to be the type to idolize. Sex was my passion, and I hadn't even had sex yet.
After my first time, I still loved sex. Not to the point I had previously.
It became real to me, instead of some distant idea.

Oh, and don't give me shit for comparing sex to ice cream =P

Woah... Just... Woah... You think people can be happy while missing an experience?
you re acting like you have experienced everything there is to experience and there for can comment about people who haven't experienced things that you have? Ever heard of variety of life? Have you been at the bottom of the ocean ridges? On top of a volcano? swam with the sharks? had religious experience?

Do you know what experience you are missing for not being a virgin?
All experiences in life are equal!!! you can't say my life's experiences are worth any less than yours...

Take a deep breath and calm yourself. That wasn't at all what I was saying. At all. Like, not even close.
I think all experiences in life are important, and though I have lived through some pretty incredible ones, I have not nearly had even close to all of them.
But I have had sex. And I can honestly say that not having sex is missing out on a life experience, and a pretty big one considering even your pet dog is doing it. (I'm gonna assume you have a dog)

But please, enlighten me as to the experiences that I am missing from not being a virgin. Keeping in mind that I was born one, and had been one for 17 years.

Also, not all experiences are equal. I get that we live in an age where everyone spews the word equality, but it's all bullshit. Having a shit is not the same as diving out of a plane, unless you shit out something truly awesome.

Quick Edit: There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. I just think you are missing out if you go your whole life without. Especially if it is out of fear.

 

[David VanDusen]

To respond simply, males are naturally designed to be sexual aggressors on the constant hunt to plant their seed.

In modern views, "men" who have yet to be with a woman are generally assumed to have emotional or social deficiencies. Personally, in my experience and my personal experience alone, guys I've known who have gotten to their early 20's or beyond are quiet horrible with women and can often not hold the interest of most females in social interactions. There is some loss in the body language and confidence with communicating with them or so it would seem.

The stigma against women is due to the majority of males "selfishness" and alpha mentality. Even if a girl has been with only a few partners, whomever they are currently dating wants to be perceived in both their own mind and the girl's as her best lover ever, even if it is delusional or unreasonable.

If you ask anyone who both enjoys sex and has respect for a women, most will not find any attraction to a female virgin. That is where the irony lies. Most men will tell you that virgins are very "boring" or "unfun" in the bedroom. Yet, going back to the other comments, they also dislike a girl who has "been around" too much. The dichotomy is very amusing.

 

[Not Matt]

it's almost like with how women are supposed to be "sexy".i blame the media.
the media want women to be incredibly sexually attractive and men to be incredibly sexually active. and since most the people who watch show who deliver these messages [footnote]jersey shore, big brother and miss(insert your country here) to name a few[/footnote] usually aren't bright enough to understand that everything on TV is real. there for they take the ideas of this to the public. then scripted shows look out over the public and parody the "virgin-shame" in to their shows. just a little theory i have.


not to mention. humans are really just animals with bigger brain, we still got the animal instincts. when we find something that feels go we wanna do it 24/7. and males are more aggressive then females sooooooo..... i guess there could be something to that

 

[MetalMagpie]

Sex releases oxytocin, which is a fairly essential hormone when it comes to pair bonding. It makes you feel more content, more trusting, more attached to your mate. Putting aside for a moment that for the majority of mammals sex is an a priori biological drive that can not be fully subdued by societal pressure or personal will, individuals who have had sexual relationships in the past will often find that the sex brought them closer to their partners. It is something they crave, on a chemical level.

From my personal experience (and that of people I know) sex can also push you further away from someone. People can sometimes experience resentment (or even betrayal) once the buzz goes away, particularly if they weren't sure about it to begin with or feel they were pressured into it.

I guess it's a lot like the idea that having kids with someone makes you closer. In reality, it'll either bring you closer together or push you further apart. At least with sex no one else suffers if it turns out to be the latter!

 

[blackrave]

Because by most people (man and women alike) male virgins are considered as losers who can't get laid
While it it is true in some cases, mostly it is choice not inability
And for some reasons plenty of people can't grasp this concept
Weird I know :/

 

[AngloDoom]

Men are portrayed as wanting sex pretty much 24/7. Therefore, if they're not getting sex it's due to their inability rather than not wanting to.

It's kind of a weird reversal of the slut-shaming women get: women are portrayed as reluctant to have sex in most media and that the man has to persuade them, so a woman who has lots of sex must therefore be easy to manipulate and have no sense of self-worth.

These are just silly little stereotypes that still niggle at us in the back of out mind and we really need to address how ridiculous these ideas are. Sure, while I wouldn't say it was a stretch to say most people would like to have a lot of sex if they could, it's silly to assume that the only reason these same people aren't having sex is because they can't get anyone rather than they haven't found the right someone.

 

[Vault101]

It's not wrong or bad to be a virgin. Just kind of sad.

soo...essentially the same thing in this context, no one likes being called "sad", people have been called "sad" because they prefer videogames to going out, "sad" is pretty much an insult

It makes perfect sense. Think about this way: if you have a key that can open lots of different locks, you would have to say that's a pretty damn awesome key, right? But if you have a lock that can be opened by lots of different keys, well, that's a pretty shitty lock. Amirite?
t.

no! no! NOOO!!! NOT THE KEYDICK METAPHOR!!! DAMMIT! ugggh I hate the fucking thing so much

And yet, here they are discussing it in pseudo-public... making a big deal out of it, according to the comments in between these. Kids these days, hm?

discussing it is good and all..I was more refering too "I want my first tiem to be super duper special with unicorns!!" mentality or "OH MY GOD YOUR A VIRGIN THATS SO SAD LOLOLOLOLO" type thing

 

[Skipper zammo]

Because by most people (man and women alike) male virgins are considered as losers who can't get laid
While it it is true in some cases, mostly it is choice not inability
And for some reasons plenty of people can't grasp this concept
Weird I know :/

So I'm going to be the first one in this thread to admit it's inability. And I'm also going to guess that in a lot of those cases where it's choice, really it's inability

 

[hooblabla6262]

It's not wrong or bad to be a virgin. Just kind of sad.

soo...essentially the same thing in this context, no one likes being called "sad", people have been called "sad" because they prefer videogames to going out, "sad" is pretty much an insult

Sorry, I should edit that. I meant it makes me sad.
I don't like the idea of anyone missing out on anything.
It makes me sad.
All good?

Edit: And in case my ice cream comparison wasn't good enough. It would be like a friend telling me he was too afraid to go bungie jumping. Yeah it's scary, but totally awesome and worth it.

 

[Jenvas1306]

Natural design aside. We are not monkeys anymore and I think a slut is a slut, a guy who had his thing in 100 different girls is still disgusting in my opinion.
Especially ones first time should be special, as sex is not just a physical thing and the right feelings make all the difference.

BTW I find people sad who just fuck around and dont know how awesome sex can be if you have the right partner and not just any partner.

 

[Vault101]

Sorry, I should edit that. I meant it makes me sad.
I don't like the idea of anyone missing out on anything.
It makes me sad.
All good?

ah yes...all good

sorry its just I used to hear that phrase alot and it pissed me off, but I see what you mean and would probably feel similar towards people who purposfully deny themselfs sex...especially if they are "high hoarse virgins" kind of annoying (though mabye hypocritical since I dont like dictating to others how to live since weve all recieved a fair share of that)