Male virgin shaming is as silly as any other kind of shaming.
I removed the rest of this post because fuck it...
I removed the rest of this post because fuck it...
I don't understand male virgin shaming.
- Thread starter crusador90
- Start date
I am a virgin and I don't feel ashamed at all. I mean sure there are the whores out there that do all the screwing because they want to...and honest to God I find them...revolting. I mean there is more to sex then just...SEX.
I'll get rid of my virginity when I find the right parter/true love/whatever thank you very much.
This must of been the reason I was hated in high school...I didn't drink, party, have sex, smoke or do drugs.
Ahaha sucks for them because I am a better person then them!
I'll get rid of my virginity when I find the right parter/true love/whatever thank you very much.
This must of been the reason I was hated in high school...I didn't drink, party, have sex, smoke or do drugs.
Ahaha sucks for them because I am a better person then them!
Your analogy is bad and you should feel bad.srm79 said:
Sounds reasonable.Matt S Hoimyr said:
Sounds less reasonable. There's no proof that males are inherently more aggressive than females, rather than it being a result of social conditioning.Matt S Hoimyr said:
Is this really a thing, except for teens?
It might be because of the milieu I move in, but I don't think it is much of an issue. Although there is a sad kind of empathy for 25+ year old male virgins, because:
A) Chances are you'll have sex with someone who's more experienced, and you'll completely screw up the first time. That might be really awkward because she (or he, if you're into that) will probably expect you to be more competent.
B) You haven't had sex yet, and that's, like, totally a shame. Because sex is awesome.
But "shaming" because they're virgins? Pffft, nobody has time for that.
It might be because of the milieu I move in, but I don't think it is much of an issue. Although there is a sad kind of empathy for 25+ year old male virgins, because:
A) Chances are you'll have sex with someone who's more experienced, and you'll completely screw up the first time. That might be really awkward because she (or he, if you're into that) will probably expect you to be more competent.
B) You haven't had sex yet, and that's, like, totally a shame. Because sex is awesome.
But "shaming" because they're virgins? Pffft, nobody has time for that.
The kind of people that care that much tend to be douchebags that are worth ignoring anyway. Amongst my friends, I think there's two of us that are still virgins, and whilst we do tease them a little about it, it's nothing serious (and we do try to be damned good wingmen).
I'd say I agree with this guy really. It's not that much of a big deal, but don't knock it until you've tried it.hooblabla6262 said:
But how do you find the right partner without searching through others in the first place? It's easy to place emotional value in somebody, but that doesn't make them the right person.Jenvas1306 said:
Typically, from what I know of it, male virgin shaming comes from the assumption that the man is unable to attract a partner rather than chooses not to. Any attempts to defend the latter are usually met with ridicule and accusations of making up excuses. Honestly, I think it's a right of passage for everyone at some point, male or female. Sex feels good, there's no doubt about it, it's common for people of both sexes to feel this way and seek out ways to have sex more often. It's the retarded idea of social standing imo that labels girls as easy/slut/etc to try and put themselves over another person.
On a somewhat related note, I cannot stand women using sex as means of manipulation. As a guy, It's really frustrating to be lead along for months with hope of having sex with a girl being dangled in front of you, when in reality they're just using you to get things they want and once you can't give it to them they just dump you for the next wallet full of cash to be spent on them. I'll take a 'slut' over a manipulative ***** any day
Not exactlySkipper zammo said:
Maybe in most cases it started as inability, but later it turned into choice
I know it's my case- in the high school all girls were into athletes, artists or simply older guys
So no luck for math/IT geek who instead of partying was working (PC gaming isn't cheap
)Later in college I was more busy with studying, training and eventually working, than partying and getting laid
Now I'm busy with finding another job and preparing for my next education (medicine- next september)
It may seems that it is inability (due to time), but I have free time, I prefer spend it on games, movies and hanging out in Escapist
Inability is long time gone, and I learned to cope with the urge of sex, so I don't NEED it anymore
I just don't see point in simply getting laid
When I find a girl that I could live with I would make a move, but jumping through the hoops just to stick my penis couple of times into a girl isn't worth it
captcha: tear us apart
Let me guess it started with "You" and ended with "Lisa"?
People who think that they are somebody just cause they stuck their dicks somewhere or just cause they were found with their legs open one too many times are just too thick to realize the concept of patience. I can't blame them, opinions are made to differ but if one berates you and is in your cycle of friends, you need to tell him/her to take a hike.
I am a virgin but never had it being a taboo. Except that one time. This guy was telling me that I couldn't get a date because I was too normal. You know, on top of the fact that he only knew me for 2 months, he was 30 yrs old and had never been on a serious relationship while changing girls like socks. Sex is all the better with the right person. This kind of people miss out on the best that sex has to offer. Ironic, right ?
The only reason something like this is brought up is because the one that decided to bring it up saw that there is someone that who could without sex until he was at certain age. People always try to get the drop on others. I know, I do it too. Not on this field though. Why ?
Cause sex is not something that everyone has an equal chance to come across. Some are more lucky than others. Guys tend to look for sluts with tits like basketballs and girls tend to look for guys with cars and biceps like tire tracks. That is in the countries I am from. The exceptions are rare but they do exist. Instead of hearing to anyone who has demeaned you for being a virgin, go out and do something about it. To quote Durden, get out of your apartment and meet a member of the opposite sex. Anyone and I mean ANYONE can do it. You will pickup things on the way to...wherever.
I also went through all the posts and the ones that made the most sense are these ones:
I am a virgin but never had it being a taboo. Except that one time. This guy was telling me that I couldn't get a date because I was too normal. You know, on top of the fact that he only knew me for 2 months, he was 30 yrs old and had never been on a serious relationship while changing girls like socks. Sex is all the better with the right person. This kind of people miss out on the best that sex has to offer. Ironic, right ?
The only reason something like this is brought up is because the one that decided to bring it up saw that there is someone that who could without sex until he was at certain age. People always try to get the drop on others. I know, I do it too. Not on this field though. Why ?
Cause sex is not something that everyone has an equal chance to come across. Some are more lucky than others. Guys tend to look for sluts with tits like basketballs and girls tend to look for guys with cars and biceps like tire tracks. That is in the countries I am from. The exceptions are rare but they do exist. Instead of hearing to anyone who has demeaned you for being a virgin, go out and do something about it. To quote Durden, get out of your apartment and meet a member of the opposite sex. Anyone and I mean ANYONE can do it. You will pickup things on the way to...wherever.
I also went through all the posts and the ones that made the most sense are these ones:
There is so much truth in these posts it's not even funny.Zack Alklazaris said:
The shaming, that I only understand cerebrally, and it makes me rage a bit. I've got a couple of friends who have been shamed into near basement-dwelling seclusion by such, and it's an ugly thing to witness from the perspective of one for whom casual, responsible sex has been an incredible joy.
I've seen reasons run the gamut, but most often the thing keeping a virgin a virgin (male or female) is fear (of rejection, embarrassment, or physiological/financial consequences)... or impossible standards (usually caused by too much media, too little human interaction. Real people tend not to fall into perfect archetypal roles)... or a wacky religion. Damn those things are creepy.
All the advice I can give is: those who would shame you are insecure douchebags who require someone to look down upon to make up for their own deficiencies. Sex doesn't turn you into one of them, and it really can be among the greatest things you ever do for yourself and for your partner... if done right, for the right reasons. Don't deny one of your most basic biological drives forever due to the actions of a few selfish, insecure morons.
I've seen reasons run the gamut, but most often the thing keeping a virgin a virgin (male or female) is fear (of rejection, embarrassment, or physiological/financial consequences)... or impossible standards (usually caused by too much media, too little human interaction. Real people tend not to fall into perfect archetypal roles)... or a wacky religion. Damn those things are creepy.
All the advice I can give is: those who would shame you are insecure douchebags who require someone to look down upon to make up for their own deficiencies. Sex doesn't turn you into one of them, and it really can be among the greatest things you ever do for yourself and for your partner... if done right, for the right reasons. Don't deny one of your most basic biological drives forever due to the actions of a few selfish, insecure morons.
Apparently it has something to do with their penises not being good for opening doors, because then if you get locked out of your house there's not much you can do. But vaginas are good as long as they are exclusive because then you can stick stuff up there for safe keeping.
Perhaps if you stopped treating women as objects that dispense sex if you put enough money in, and tried to form meaningful relationships instead, you wouldn't run into this problem.Zeke_warhammer said:
That's funny, I'm currently in a meaningful relationship with a girl and have been for the last 5 years. What I'm getting at is that women can and do use sex as a means to an end to get the things they want (kinda why prostitutes exist). Some just use the idea of sex while some are more literal I guess.manic_depressive13 said:
Because males are "supposed to" want to spread their seed around. Indiscriminately, it seems.crusador90 said:
Here's the thing, though. Yeah, they have to be having sex with someone, but they don't really care that women are required because women are treated as a consumable.darklilac said:
Hell, just the fact that you're not in a relationship is enough to invalidate someone. I mean, I have a girlfriend, but am I any more worth people's time now than I was a year ago? Am I any less dysfunctional?Vault101 said:
I see you've got a few replies on this, but I'll mention something similar:TopazFusion said:
Women actually walk a pretty fine line in this instance, because a virgin is only a prize as long as you're not ready to have sex with her. Women are treated as a prize for "you" to achieve, not someone else. And since the aquisition is all that matters, you can discard her after. But on the flip side, a woman who won't have sex with "you" is a prude, frigid, a lesbian, or one of several other "terrible things."
Virgins are considered a prize only as long as you have a chance to "win" them.
I think this is a very important distinction.
Female purity only really exists as an issue because women are treated as property. Maybe not as much now, but the sentiment still lingers, and the resulting attitudes are pervasive. Virginity, especially, is treated like property; women lose half their value when driven off the lot. Unfortunately, if you can't "unbox" a woman, it's more like sour grapes.
I used a lot of "quotes" here. I feel "dirty."
I'm fine with nonsexual relationships, but relationships require commonalities. If you aren't on the same page, then things won't work. Whether or not you understand why sex is important to a lot of people, you should understand that it is. Your position seems rather inconsiderate, calling it unfair that other people interested in something that doesn't interest you treat you unfairly for not wanting to be in a relationship (something with a partial basis in sexual chemistry).SinisterGehe said:
Honestly, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
Bungie jumping might be awesome and worth it if say, you don't have a crippling fear of heights.hooblabla6262 said:
Same to your previous statement that not all experiences are equal and your example was Sky diving VS taking a shit. Because it is impossible for someone who has a crippling fear of heights to rather take a shit than jump out of a plane.
Stop acting like your experiences and preferences rule the world, not everything you think is a great experience is something everyone should do. You may think say, going to a spider museum is an experience that cannot be missed, but anyone with arachnophobia wouldn't feel that they are "missing out" on anything.
Women? As people? Forming bonds?manic_depressive13 said:
What sort of radical thinking is this? Witch! Witch!
...Sorry.
Thisis the price we pay for the lack of honesty in relationships. This sort of thing is easily solved if people are honest and open. Unfortunately, we have a culture where both genders play manipulation and hate the other side for it.Zeke_warhammer said:
The chemical bond that forms through sex is A) temporary (needs refreshing...think of it as a "we fucked!" buff) and B) not really potent enough to fully overwhelm more conventional bonds, such as friendship or even basic compatibility. Which is how we end up in weird situations like relationships we hate but find it hard to leave because "the sex is good". I'm not suggesting that having your dick in someone makes for a storybook ending, obviously. But sex is pretty important for relationship health. And health health. What's the stat on sexually active adults vs not sexually active adults, in terms of lifespan? 7 years? 10 years? Basically being sex starved is worse than being a heavy smoker in terms of your health. All those hormones are pretty awesome for you, as it turns out.MetalMagpie said:
Anyway, oxytocin isn't an "idea", it's an actual thing that actually gets released.
It's sort of the "love drug", believed to be responsible for what we ephemerally categorize as the romantic emotions. Next time someone asks you "what is love", instead of "baby don't hurt me" you can reply with "Oxytocin!".
As a M2F transgender, I can safely say we're not all nice. I know a lot of crazy ones.Playful Pony said:
I also kind of find it disconcerting that now we're being held up as sort of a holy grail. Especially when you consider "transgender" is something nobody really wants to be.
In the world today we are all encouraged to be, "liberated self-actualising people." What that means in effect is that we are supposed to embrace certain accepted lifestyles that are promoted by popular culture and role models. Almost all the popular ones that we have for men are based in large part around sex and relationships. Even, no, especially the gay ones.
So to be not interested in devoting a large part of your "lifestyle" to chasing sexual partners you are defining yourself as someone who deliberately stands outside the accepted norms. In effect you have failed to self-actualise yourself into one of the accepted moulds that society recognises. You have failed to become a real person where "real" is an illusion created by the mass media. In the same way that Call of Duty is hugely popular due to it's supposed realness.
So to be not interested in devoting a large part of your "lifestyle" to chasing sexual partners you are defining yourself as someone who deliberately stands outside the accepted norms. In effect you have failed to self-actualise yourself into one of the accepted moulds that society recognises. You have failed to become a real person where "real" is an illusion created by the mass media. In the same way that Call of Duty is hugely popular due to it's supposed realness.
Haha, I know. Transgender here *puts hand up*, but I've never met one that wasn't a really open, friendly and pleasant kind of person. I guess I've been as lucky with transgenders as I've been unlucky with boyfriends X3.Zachary Amaranth said: