I think of you as a friend.

RowdyRodimus

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Apr 24, 2010
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Just wait until 15 years later when she looks you up on Facebook and tells you that she screwed up and should've gotten with you when you asked and then begs for a chance to be with you. (Ok, that's what happened to me last week lol)
 

Skoldpadda

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Jan 13, 2010
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Some of my besterest friends are female. It's actually useful to have some as a true, good friend. They won't betray you over some chick. They'll have real useful advice in scoring chicks instead. They're often very empathic, and will know what to do, without you asking, when you're down and out.

Getting in their pants is really trivial in comparison. Lots of non-friend female pants to get in instead. You'll have the best sex with girls you can't stand.
 
Mar 9, 2009
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Seldon2639 said:
mrpenguinismyhomeboy said:
Exactly. The Friend zone.
You're using it in a very different way from how most people do. Most people who use that term are basically saying:

"oops, you screwed up. She would have banged you if you hadn't been so nice to her, but since you became her friend, she'll never see you as anything else" rather than the more realistic "all you could ever have been with her is friends, there's nothing that could have been done, accept it".
We'll both work, I think.
 

zhoominator

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I had a similar experience. There was a girl I met at uni last year who was from Austrailia (I'm British btw) and we clicked pretty quickly. We met up all the time for dinner as we both were catered at the same halls of residence and just chatted about anything and everything.

Anyway, a few months had passed and one of her friends was talking to me and brought up that she thought we'd make a cute couple. I just dismissed it and kind of laughed it off. After all, she was just my friend, I don't think I'd want to think of her like that D:.

Unfortunately, 2 weeks later there was a knock on my door and I opened up and my friend was there. And she asked me out after confessing her feelings for me. "Oh no" I thought as I tried to come up with a way to get me out of this rather awkward situation. I felt it necessary to tell her the truth, that I didn't and possibly couldn't have those kind of feelings for her.

Needless to say, she didn't take it very well, in fact she took it more personally than I had intended. I did feel very bad when I heard that she thought I thought she "was some kind of hideous troll. Why else would he say no?"

I still talk to her, though it's generally a bit less comfortable now. That's why I never intend on telling another friend (who I do like) how I feel. I get how awkward it can be.

I suppose it's just another part of life's big learning curve, you've gotta get you heart broken sometimes.
 

Hollock

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Jun 26, 2009
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...yes
It really sucks because this is the first girl I've ever felt this way about.
(currently dealing with this)
I feel like a dick for putting her in this situation.
 

Seldon2639

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Feb 21, 2008
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mrpenguinismyhomeboy said:
We'll both work, I think.
Work in the sense of "function as possible uses for the term", sure. Work in the sense of "both are statements reflective of reality", not a chance.

There's no girl I've ever been rejected by who would have dated me if I'd been more of an ass. I've never met any girl who dated guys based on the fact that they're jerks, rather than that they're hot.

The reality is that no friend of mine (who's female and heterosexual) would turn me down if I looked like Brad Pitt. It's not a "you were her friend, that caused you to have to chance" thing, it's a "you're a hideous fucking CHUD, so you have no chance" thing
 

Mcupobob

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Jun 29, 2009
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No but I've had to end a couple of relationships with that line and I felt like a dick in doing so.
 

NoblePhilistineFox

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Apr 8, 2010
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wolfister said:
"Oh you are so nice and I would totally date a guy like you, but I consider you a really good friend".
Testicles exploding in 3...2...1...

hmm, It seems as though you had the same problem, the way she worded it made you think that she didnt want to date you because she didnt want to jepordize the relationship you have now, and since you didnt either, you just quietly backed off...
she probably think that YOU dont want to date HER because you are friends and didnt want to screw up what you have, which you actually do.
so if she said that recently(a week at the most) then bring it up when you are alone together, and just mention "just curoius, why wouldnt you date me?"
and I may nt be a stud, but if she sais something like "because..." then thats the perfect time to make your move ^_^
DO IT NOW!!!!!
she likes you back, trust me
I just made your lives alot better

EDIT:
Or...
she was just saying that because she knew that a breakup would be a good time to advance, and she pre-empted you with that comment because she's not "into" you and wanted to be nice.
hmmm, either way you get mindf*cked...
either way, I have fun, so tell me what happens(PM me or something)
have a nice day ^_^'
 

wolfister

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Oct 20, 2008
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NoblePhilistineFox said:
wolfister said:
"Oh you are so nice and I would totally date a guy like you, but I consider you a really good friend".
Testicles exploding in 3...2...1...

hmm, It seems as though you had the same problem, the way she worded it made you think that she didnt want to date you because she didnt want to jepordize the relationship you have now, and since you didnt either, you just quietly backed off...
she probably think that YOU dont want to date HER because you are friends and didnt want to screw up what you have, which you actually do.
so if she said that recently(a week at the most) then bring it up when you are alone together, and just mention "just curoius, why wouldnt you date me?"
and I may nt be a stud, but if she sais something like "because..." then thats the perfect time to make your move ^_^
DO IT NOW!!!!!
she likes you back, trust me
I just made your lives alot better
ummm as I said this happened about a year ago
 

Gudrests

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Mar 29, 2010
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wolfister said:
Guys and girls of the escapist have you ever gotten this line from someone you really wanted to date or get together with? If so I would like to hear your experience mainly because I am trying to understand why this line seems to be so bloody common.

My personal experience happened about a year ago all through high school I had known this girl she was kind of nerdy but really awesome. We did everything together we loved the same kinds of games, music, movies etc. and well during the friendship I had really started to develop feelings for her but she was with a guy who in all definitions was a total douche. So I back off stay the close friend until finally she wakes up and dumps the asshole. Well I console her like a good friend and about 2 months pass and I finally get up the nerve to ask her out, this is where one of the biggest mind fucks that i can remember happens to me, she says to me and i quote "Oh you are so nice and I would totally date a guy like you but I consider you a really good friend".

Now I quietly backed off and went to think about that one because it just does not make sense to me. I mean if she would date a guy like me then um why not just date me? Please Escapist do your thing and post your experience and thoughts on this I would love to hear them.

edit: You know I would have been happy to keep the friendship, but when I told her how I felt well things just started to fall apart and the friendship slowly dissolved. Now I talk to her maybe once every two months if that and I know she is again dating a guy that uses her. it well really breaks my heart that even though she didn't want me she could have at least found a guy that wouldn't treat her like shit she doesn't deserve that really no one does.
BEEN THERE DONE THAT....most of us (besides the assholes) have. you might be able to get her now...your not really good friends anymore...i say give it a shot..if not...idk...im sure there is another girl like that somewhere.....
 

NoblePhilistineFox

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Apr 8, 2010
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wolfister said:
You know I would have been happy to keep the friendship, but when I told her how I felt well things just started to fall apart and the friendship slowly dissolved. Now I talk to her maybe once every two months if that and I know she is again dating a guy that uses her. it well really breaks my heart that even though she didn't want me she could have at least found a guy that wouldn't treat her like shit she doesn't deserve that really no one does.
saw that,
sorry bro T_T
s'okay, better to have loved then lost tthen...
...
...
...y'know what, thats a stupid saying.
I dont really know what to tell you buddy...
 

wolfister

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Oct 20, 2008
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NoblePhilistineFox said:
wolfister said:
You know I would have been happy to keep the friendship, but when I told her how I felt well things just started to fall apart and the friendship slowly dissolved. Now I talk to her maybe once every two months if that and I know she is again dating a guy that uses her. it well really breaks my heart that even though she didn't want me she could have at least found a guy that wouldn't treat her like shit she doesn't deserve that really no one does.
saw that,
sorry bro T_T
s'okay, better to have loved then lost tthen...
...
...
...y'know what, thats a stupid saying.
I dont really know what to tell you buddy...
Thanks for the noble effort friend
 

Asturiel

the God of Pants
Nov 24, 2009
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Seldon2639 said:
If you're only nice when you think you have a chance with a girl, rather than being nice as your default position, you're not a "niceguy", you're a manipulative douche.

You're not losing because you're too friendly and nice, you're just an unsuccessful manipulator.

http://somethingpositive.net/sp02142004.shtml
Why thank you, I get quite upset when people use this as an excuse.

If your a "niceguy" your one all the time, if you turn it on and off at a whim thats not a "niceguy" thats a wisened douche figuring out that some people like that. Thats the reason why I don't consider myself a nice guy, mostly because I'm usually cold and sarcastic to most people I know, although I try my best to kind and polite to those I don't.
zhoominator said:
I suppose it's just another part of life's big learning curve, you've gotta get you heart broken sometimes.
Or break somebody else's to see how it can be from the other side.

OT: That always hurts, have learned both sides of this curve the hard way.

I still feel bad about being on the giving end of it :(....
 

DSEZ

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Aug 8, 2009
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that happens alot to me mainly cause all the other guys at my school disrespect or abuse women

im one of the few that dosent and my friends that are girls tell me "your so sweet i would love to date a guy like you" im sitting there "........" im just thinking why dont you date me but i guess thats the way things go
 

NoblePhilistineFox

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Apr 8, 2010
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hmm,
three posts and I havent been on topic
OT:
I kinda had an opposite situation, a girl who I hate with a feiry passion has clung to me and the only way I could cut her loose was by alienating all of my friends because she decided "why dont I become better friends with all of your friends"
the only situation ive been in where Ive gotten blueballed like that was when this annoying pr*ck asked out this girl i was freinds with.
its not so much that I hated him for asking her out first, I hated him for being a condescending pr*ck who thought that just because he was a year older than me he somehow was able to disprove all of the logic I have been working over since kindergarden, and how something as simple as "flick the string to make the guitar make sound" he fealt he needed to teach me.
 

Zenn3k

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Feb 2, 2009
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I've yet to meet a woman who didn't always go for the guy that pisses them off.

Even the girl I'm with right now, I'm a dick to her a lot of the time, and she loves me more than anything. We've broken up and gotten back together several times and are currently not together, but still having sex, mostly because thats a way for us to remain romantically close while avoiding the "stigma" of "being together".

Meanwhile, there is this girl who I have such a deep attraction for, that I can't even tell her, mostly because we've been friends FOREVER and it would insanely awkward to bring something like that up.

But, back to original point, and you can call it sexist or whatever you want, but its true.

If you want a girl to like you, treat her like you don't care about her roughly 70% of the time, the other 30% is doing very sweet things, mostly little things.
 

MegaManOfNumbers

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Mar 3, 2010
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My plan is, when a girl says that you ditch her for an extended amount of time and THEN see how much you actually mean to her.

if she's flipping out because you ain't around you are pretty important. If not, she's a dick and move on.

ALWAYS works.

for me that is.

:)