JC123 said:
And here we have two individuals who have either neither experienced an adult relationship, or fear that they're the "dumb" one in theirs.
And here we have an internet psychologist. Oh yay. Fun.
JC123 said:
Relationship psychology - how you feel about your partner's intelligence (and personality in general) will measure how you fit with them.
Sorry, but I call bullshit. How I feel about other people's intelligence has no bearing on how well I fit with them. I've already stated that I know some people who would be described as "stupid" yet I'd be very happy in relationships with them. The point I was making is that "stupid" or "dumb" are ugly words. Especially in this community, "stupid" people are the ones who aren't involved with academia or have trouble with it. That doesn't make someone stupid nor would it effect my relationship with them. Who are you to tell me otherwise? Some armchair psychologist? Yeah. Go away.
JC123 said:
Some like to feel like equals, others to nurture or be nurtured.
And what does this have to do with intelligence? Do you not feel like an equal if someone knows more about academia than you? Heh. I do. I feel like an equal around 99% of people I meet.
Once again feeling nurtured has nothing to do with the topic in this thread either. These two concepts are entirely different to how "smart" someone is. It is possible to be nurtured by someone of less intelligence to you and vice versa.
JC123 said:
If they don't meet your criteria, your expectations will not match reality and the relationship will fail unless they change. It's not sexist, demeaning or unrealistic to have a "type."
Sexist? When did either of us mention that?
Anyway. I think posting on an internet forum talking about "how you couldn't dare to be with a stupid person!" is nothing short of elitism. I do not care if someone is more academic than me in a relationship. I don't have to have academic discussions with my partners. It's not a priority to me. It may be to you, so good for you. Just don't go around acting like a wanker because I think differently to you.
JC123 said:
It's the reality of attraction.
So you know the reality of attraction now? Attraction is a completely random thing I can't control. It may not be for you - maybe you like to pick apart other people and anaylse them and see if they are compatible but I don't work that way.
JC123 said:
Intelligence is nothing more than another feature we pick and choose our partners from, and if anything, I respect picking a partner by intelligence more than I do picking by hair colour, body type, skin colour, or any other widely accepted factor.
Intelligence is a feature
you pick and choose your partners from. It's not for me. If it is - it is
entriely sub conscious.
JC123 said:
Personally, my first girlfriend was smart enough to be in my courses at college, but for some reason her behaviour had me feeling like a teacher, and I struggled to respect her because of it. One in the middle was on par with myself, but had to act superior. We'd have clashes of opinion and rather than polite debate, she would act as if I couldn't possibly understand her, and she must be right. This included her trying to debate material from my own degree, which she had never studied. A lot of that came down to her nature (she was rather rebellious against the "norm," including being vegan), and the differences between us (she was 9 years my senior).
That has little to do with intelligence. It's personality. Some people have that personality type where you feel like you have to "teach" them. In my opinion, it's a sign of emotional immaturity - not a lack of intelligence.
I know many people who wouldn't be able to do my course at University. It doesn't mean:
A) That I'm smarter than them
or
B) That if I was in a relationship I'd feel like a teacher to them.
JC123 said:
My missus fits me perfectly. She's smart, and willing to tell me I'm wrong, but never rudely, and to take criticism if she's wrong. We both teach each other things, I never look down on her or up to her. Equality in both actuality and how we treat each other is what works for us.
Good for you! Really. I just don't work that way.