If EA took over *blank*

[Vault101]

Make them normal people who just happen to be gay. That's it.

thats funny....because that's pretty much what I thought they were (and even if they faild it was biowares intention). I fail to see how "I had a husband" is putting ones gayness as their one and only identity....

did we even play the same game?

[quote/]
But they were. I haven't seen a single good character in a Bioware game since fucking ages. Everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, is a wandering cliche. Mass Effect was endearing because of it's world, not the characters inhabiting it.[/quote]
hmmm...well that explains a bit...

anyway, Traynor, gay sterotype?....she doesn't hate men, she doesn't talk about feminism, no shaved head....nothing to indicate she is gay untill the shower scene..

Cortez?....he's not camp, doesn't have any interests associated with gay men...says he had a husband but that's pretty much it

[quote/]
I just did, actually. If you can't remember, play ME3 again, although if you don't want to sit through the lackluster shooting and dialog again that's understandable.[/quote]

gay couple conversation in the citadel?....I may have missed it but I honestly can't remember

 

[Vault101]

Hell, have you played DA:O, remember that dude named Zevran (I think that was his name), he was much worse than Traynor or Cortez.

that's kind of funny..I played as a female and I actually had no Idea Zevran liked men untill I read it on the internet..I just took him as a womaniser

 

[Shocksplicer]

No I shall not capitalize the word god. Honestly if you really believe the homosexuality was shoved in your face in me3, you really are retarded, and are holding back the human race, and as such should be removed.

Funny you say that, because yours are the only posts I reported.

OT: I thought of another one, not as much of an apocalypse scenario but still: EA takes over Ubisoft. Now you have to pay to play your games. You will purchase the game, and then you'll purchase vouchers to play them for a limited time. Later on, the EAbisoft will release their own console that plays all their games but is coin operated, and you only buy coins from them. Also, it has three factor authentication, to prevent piracy.

When somebody's first ever post recieves a warning, you know they probably won't be around for long...

Captcha: agree to disagree.
He couldn't...

 

[Alternative]

So the question is, where is all this extra development going? It's not going into the characters, it's no going into graphics, it's obviously not going into the gameplay (I mean ffs, you shoot the same 4 types of enemies all game)...

They had 2 years to work on Mass Effect 3, and a big budget, and yet they continue to ignore the massive issues that plague almost every aspect of their games, the most prominent being one dimensional characters.

Multiplayer and DLC, it is an EA published game after all.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.

 

[Tiddles]

EA takes over SquareEnix

Final Fantasy - Now with unexpected crashes and bugs! But you get a new game every year of drastically decreasing quality and MORE cutscenes. Also Final Fantasy VII is re-released and is crap.
Dragon Quest - New "exciting" art style! Totally photo realistic.
The Mana games - Now with online multiplayer.
Kingdom Hearts - Sora becomes an adult and Mickey mouse takes over as the main protagonist
Just Cause 3 - Now with more story and character development.
Kayne and Lynch - Actually not any worse under EA.
Thief 4 - Now with more action oriented gameplay.

Edit: I guess I should clarify that I see EA as a publisher that misses the point with its franchises. Also Square as another publisher didn't develop all the games in my list but it still had input as the publisher.

 

[idarkphoenixi]

EA takes over portal

Portal gun gets swapped for an M16 that can only shoot portals once you kill enough people with it.

Also, knowing the loyalty of portal fans it comes shipped with 25 pieces of day one DLC.

The game itself it about 20minutes long after having extra content carved out of it like so many halloween pumpkins.

 

[Vault101]

My problem with Cortez is him being gay is his only real personality trait. Him being gay is what people remember him by. That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say it's being shoved in your face, or that Bioware characters are terrible. They are all one dimensional husks with a single cliche separating them from everyone else. Cortez is gay,

He's also the shuttle Pilot, and greiving for a death of his loved one I guess
[quote/]Jacob is black,[/quote]
no, Jacob is bland..hence why no one likes Jacob

[quote/]Jack is an angsty teenagers, [/quote]
understatement...she's a psycho (for good reason)....but she works out in the end (I liked the direction her charachter took)


[quote/]1) No one is there for the gameplay anyway. You'd be hard pressed to find someone who plays ME for the shooting bits. Close to everyone is there for the juicy conversations and story. [/quote]
except the first one I enjoyed the fuck out of the shooting...so I guess I'm just strange...along with all those other people playing multilayer


anyway..I'm not here to debate how great/awful ME3 was...I'm done with that headache, lets just say your right and ME3 was fucking awful and I am a dumbfan for liking

there you go, congratulations

I'm just soo fucking tired....

 

[Alternative]

if Ea took over 22cans (molyneux's newest company)

on a yearly basis a new game in the series is release, each one is promiced to give the player greater control and customization then ever before. Game fails to live upto hype and is riddled with bugs,contains area's blocked off unless the DLC has been purchased nd performs mediocore at best.

however a sequel is already planned at release, Molyneux defends the game no matter what.

 

[GreyJedi]

My problem with Cortez is him being gay is his only real personality trait. Him being gay is what people remember him by. That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say it's being shoved in your face, or that Bioware characters are terrible. They are all one dimensional husks with a single cliche separating them from everyone else. Cortez is gay,

He's also the shuttle Pilot, and greiving for a death of his loved one I guess
[quote/]Jacob is black,

no, Jacob is bland..hence why no one likes Jacob
[/quote]
Technically, Jacob was a story tool for new players, but I get where you're going with this.

I can kind of "get" what Smash is saying about the characters being rather one-sided... But I really don't see how this applies to every character in ME3 (or, even worse, every character they've ever made.) I did get the impression that the characters have a decent personality and some amount of character development/growth, even. So yes, some of the characters they threw in at the end were a little bland (i.e.: Jacob), but to claim that this applies to all of them is a gross exaggeration, I believe.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.

Spoiler: I see what you did there

But hey, we're actually getting a sequel this year, which is a first by pokemon standards.

...It's different and it scares me, I don't like it.

It's not the first sequel, Pokemon XD was awesome...

And from what I've seen, Black and White 2 has a fuckload of content in it.

 

[bafrali]

If EA took over Capcom

-Dragons Dogma would get a dissapointing sequal in one year.
-Okami would get a sequal where you play as a grizzly bear.
-Resident Evil would become an FPS with annual sequals and tacked-on zombie mode.
-DMC reboot would be rebooted again and be retconned with Dante's Inferno
-Long awaited SFxMK crossover would be made with a sequal alredy planned.(fatalities ahoy)
-Megaman ACT ZERO.

 

[Isalan]

EA takes over Bethesda.

Bug fixes are now DLC, and the Taliban invade Tamriel.

Also, 80 gagillion pieces of horse armor DLC.

Oh, and super mutants are changed to terrorists to broaden appeal.

Behold your future and weep. Our children will pay the price.

 

[yuval152]

EA takes over Radical Entertainment

every year the protagonist of the last game turns some random guy into superman and then the protagonist of the prequel turns into an generic antagonist,new protagonist kills the antagonist and it keeps as a cycle.

And you get 3 free powers and for more powers you need to pay 10$ each or some 70$ bundle.

 

[Vault101]

So you agree, I assume? Didn't really prove me wrong there.

no, I was saying WELL DUH everybody knows Jacob is bland....its an accepted fact...most of the other characters however (including jack) are much better

basically what I'm saying is if I had to pick a charachter to show off how cool ME charachters were...I wouldn't pick Jacob..no one...would pick jacob

its like me trying to convince someone how awesome the N64 was by showing them Superman 64

[quote/]I recommend you get Gears of War or something. It's bland, but it does what ME does wrong correctly in the gameplay department.
[/quote]

I didn't say I need/wanted a substitute because I found ME3 lacking...I found it (and so did many others) just fine

always been wanting to try Gears of war..but no Xbox

[quote/](I also like how you say "all those people" as if it's the most popular co-op game out there. It's going to be a ghost town in 6 months tops.[/quote]

don't put words into my mouth, that's not what I ment to imply at all... its just people have been playing it (had no trouble getting a game) as for how much longer who knows..I'm not calling it eather way

some people actually did enjoy the gameplay remember
[quote/]
Yeah, well, sorry dude. It's gonna happen on internet forums, people are going to dislike things you like. And to be fair, ME3 wasn't exactly a masterpiece.[/quote]

yeah I know..opinion blah blah blah blah

so you have yours and I have mine....

 

[yaydod]

EA takes over Frictional Games.
Who needs to hide from horrible creatures that come from the deepest horrors of your soul when you have a LASER MACHINGUN and every thing EXPLODES.
That is because they need to appeal to a broader audience for the next Amnesia, but they will have to sell 5Billion copies since they need to show to the whole world that the protagonist is a human man hooked on steroids since his tender age and he can wield a Bazooka while holding to a booth babes tits.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

The Mana games - Now with online multiplayer.

That could actually be really interesting.

An action rpg where all of your party members are real players. If done well, co-op could be a breath of fresh air in the increasingly stale jrpg genre.

Then again, we're talking EA, so ...

 

[Mysterious Druid]

If EA took over Double Fine

90% of the money made for the point and click game would be used on marketing, the game itself would be turned into a generic FPS, and the final boss would be defeated by the player saying what their favourite colour is to the Kinect.

 

[NionDrakyr]

Is it just me or do I notice something here?


Satan - Demon of pride, "We're going to continue making award-winning games and services played by more than 300 million people worldwide." (after winning worst company)

Mammon - Demon of greed. Cut out 30% of your game and sold it back to you, u mad?

Asmodeus - Demon of lust. Reproduces franchises annually

Leviathan - Demon of envy. Trying to replicate Steam.

Beelzebub - Demon of gluttony. Ate up Bullfrog and is in the process of devouring Bioware.

Amon - Demon of Wrath. Smashes up Origin accounts with the banhammer.

Belphegor - Demon of sloth. Sits on its IP until the day after never.


This means if EA took over Activision, they would become THE PRIME EVIL.

 

[SoMuchSpace]

EA takes over Eidos Montreal

- Deus Ex 4 : Warfighting Zombie Apocalypse lens flare dub step field effect HD released

- New pre order bonus!Pay $15 to experience the game in a special brown and grey filter!

- Introducing Augmentation Market : Buy augmentations that allow you to jump up 2 feet and
- another augmentation that allows you have 2 more health squares!Only for the price of $10!

- For a broader appeal DE4 now includes alien soldier ninjas that can be defeated only after completing a tower defense game!Something for every one!

- An extra $5 and you get to see the developers only ending!!!

The games sells 4 million units, ea goes NO.DE4 NEEDED TO SELL 6 MILLION COPIES YOU TWATS!.EM is shut down.

EA takes over thechineseroom (devs of dear esther)

- Dear Esther : Esther's revenge is released.A minigun and laser cannon is given to esther as she attempts to take over the Hebrides islands that are infested with korean soldiers

- For an extra $15 you get to see esther performing a 1 minute execution animation on the weak soldiers!!

- New multi player : US Seals Vs Koreans!This has nothing to do with Dear esther, but who cares!!

- New multi player skin pack : play as a green korean or an orange seal!!!!Choices for everyone!!!!!!Costs only $20

- Introducing Dear esther premium for $59.99... includes 1 mulit player pack, 2 skins, a laser cannon bazooka and an assassin outfit for esther!!!