If EA took over *blank*
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Konami
Simon Belmont fights terrorists and the Vampire Killer is a gun now
power ups are DLC
games are released every half-year and are FPS,s
Contra fights just soldiers now and Red Falcon is now Al Quaida/Soviets/generic soldier dudes
no aliens
DDR is a FPS now
the Konami code is a $120 DLC and with the effect costing $40
Simon Belmont fights terrorists and the Vampire Killer is a gun now
power ups are DLC
games are released every half-year and are FPS,s
Contra fights just soldiers now and Red Falcon is now Al Quaida/Soviets/generic soldier dudes
no aliens
DDR is a FPS now
the Konami code is a $120 DLC and with the effect costing $40
I see what you did thereSean Hollyman said:
Hmm I tend to think the key to JRPGs (and part of why they're partially stagnant... ok mostly stagnant) is their over-reliance on character archetypes which MP would disrupt but I'm not sure they could replace it with a really good plot as it's EA.chimpzy said:
you realize it's all jokes and fun in here..right? No one is actually suggesting that EA take over anything. just a "what if.." type scenario.Phlakes said:
OT: most of the good ones have been suggested in here, but i'll suggest one:
EA acquires naughty dog-
Uncharted 4: Drake's Space Treasury
-Buy the Thief edition, get more cutscenes and an addition gun that the enemies already use for 15 dollars!
-must have online connection to play, 20 dollars for co op seperate purchase
-must have facebook/twitter/myspace accounts to start game, using all profiles to chart your playtime and messages.
-Ending Concludes with Drake suggesting you to buy the DLC if you want the full ending mission!
If EA takes over bethesda, future elder scroll games will be 1/4th their normal size with some areas blocked off and sold as day 1 DLC. Multiplayer will be shoved in despite NOBODY ever asking for it. Oh and you'll be permanently connected to Origin and be shown ads for new outfits/weapons as you play along.
No Mass Effect 3 had combo of shields/biotic barriers and health. Other than that pretty much.Terminate421 said:
Ea buys Bethesda: The Elderscrolls games are released every year and are turned into shooters to "Broaden their appeal". They only sell 10,000,000 copies and EA wanted 10,000,100 so they shut them down.
EA takes over Paradox Interactive.
"We can't work with this folks, turn Hearts of Iron into a first person shooter!"
"Victoria is too obscure, market it as a cheesy Command and Conquer prequel."
"Europa Universalis IV should be the next BioWare project, make it a Mass Effect/Dragon Age crossover!"
"Crusader Kings is the new title of The Sims Medieval II."
OH LAWD. PLEASE KILL ME.
"We can't work with this folks, turn Hearts of Iron into a first person shooter!"
"Victoria is too obscure, market it as a cheesy Command and Conquer prequel."
"Europa Universalis IV should be the next BioWare project, make it a Mass Effect/Dragon Age crossover!"
"Crusader Kings is the new title of The Sims Medieval II."
OH LAWD. PLEASE KILL ME.
EA takes over EA and they're now THE most well known company in the world, releasing perfect games by every standard and even beat out Valve as most loved company out there.
Then the world exploded.
Also funny how most of this thread is an argument about gay characters in Bioware games.
Then the world exploded.
Also funny how most of this thread is an argument about gay characters in Bioware games.
Guess what Role I think that they would be perfect for?.....*waits a few moments* No Guesses? Well death I say, as it seems like everything that they touch dies. Look at what they did to Westwood and what they're doing to Bioware (I liked ME3, but not really ME2. Also I don't believe that there was ever a Dragon Age 2)
OT: I'll just say Obsidian, EA would somehow have MORE bugs due to super rushed releases (even worse than KoToR2, and so rushed that there won't even be a bunch of awesome stuff for the fans to mod into the game) and all the characters would be ripped more than the guys from Gears of War. There will be no form of story and they will develop it for 4 years spending hundreds of millions of dollars (almost completely on advertising) then when the game doesn't turn a profit they shall "broaden it's audience" even more then still blame everyone but themselves for screwing up.
OT: I'll just say Obsidian, EA would somehow have MORE bugs due to super rushed releases (even worse than KoToR2, and so rushed that there won't even be a bunch of awesome stuff for the fans to mod into the game) and all the characters would be ripped more than the guys from Gears of War. There will be no form of story and they will develop it for 4 years spending hundreds of millions of dollars (almost completely on advertising) then when the game doesn't turn a profit they shall "broaden it's audience" even more then still blame everyone but themselves for screwing up.
If EA took over Team Ico...
...The Last Guardian would finally be released.
But it would be crap. D:
...The Last Guardian would finally be released.
But it would be crap. D:
Right. Sure. There's no way people have malicious intentions toward the company that was voted the worst in America. Nope, it's all innocent.gmaverick019 said:
When the TL;DR for the thread is "EA makes terrible games and ruins good developers", I don't think you get to make the "it's all in good fun" excuse.
As much as I like Pokemon (which is A LOT; I have my Heartgold Rom open right now), I feel like Pokemon is an extremely sell-out series right out of the gate. What other game requires 2 versions to obtain 100% completion? The series was literally spawned as a tool to sell link cables, but happened to be a massive single-player hit.Alternative said:
On topic, Ea takes over Call of Duty. Thanks to the magic power of copyright, every third EA game has Captain Price as the protagonist, and all weapons in every EA game are replaced with recoilless Ak's. Also, idividual bullets are sold as DLC, courtesy of EA's total monopoly on the modern FPS genre.
If EA took over Bank of America it would improve the company 10 fold. Hay EA never flat out sole money form me.
One that I have not seen, EA takes over Team Ico
The Last Guardian is released, though instead of the main characters being a kid and a giant bird-cat thing it is now a gruff and grizzled military spec ops solider that has, quote, gone through Hell and back, end quote, and a four legged tank respectively. And rather than puzzle platforming and not being that effective in combat as the kid as the trailers have lead you to believe, you now just walk around blowing anything that looks at you funny into the ninth dimension.
The they re-re-release Shadow of the Colossus, but with a twist. You only get the first colossus on the disk, and have to pay $10 to unlock each of the other 15 remaining colossi, as well as $15 for each of the unlockable weapons and other little bobbles. They then release a new version of it every year, with a different wanderer, in a different forbidden land, fighting more and more different colossi, that get to look more and more like walking tanks, riding something that begins to look less and less like the loosest definition of what a horse should look like.
The Last Guardian is released, though instead of the main characters being a kid and a giant bird-cat thing it is now a gruff and grizzled military spec ops solider that has, quote, gone through Hell and back, end quote, and a four legged tank respectively. And rather than puzzle platforming and not being that effective in combat as the kid as the trailers have lead you to believe, you now just walk around blowing anything that looks at you funny into the ninth dimension.
The they re-re-release Shadow of the Colossus, but with a twist. You only get the first colossus on the disk, and have to pay $10 to unlock each of the other 15 remaining colossi, as well as $15 for each of the unlockable weapons and other little bobbles. They then release a new version of it every year, with a different wanderer, in a different forbidden land, fighting more and more different colossi, that get to look more and more like walking tanks, riding something that begins to look less and less like the loosest definition of what a horse should look like.
It's pretty much supposed to be a joke thread. I find a lot of the stuff EA puts out is kind of mediocre, but I don't hate the company. I Just made this thread for fun.Phlakes said:
Are you picturing me as some raving lunatic who's foaming out the mouth or something? >....>,
This thread is just one big hyperbole, I'm not that serious about it. I have a tendency to exaggerate things, take a look at my Wal-Mart thread for example.
How about EA takes over Assassain's creed?
Your character starts off as a quadropalegic, and you must buy each individual limb for $20, and an extra $15 if you want him/her to have hands.
Your character starts off as a quadropalegic, and you must buy each individual limb for $20, and an extra $15 if you want him/her to have hands.