If EA took over *blank*

irmasterlol

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Apr 11, 2012
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EA merges with Activision. CEO is the Antichrist himself. All Hell literally breaks loose. End of days occurs.
 

DJ_DEnM

My brother answers too!
Dec 22, 2010
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Tiddles said:
Kayne and Lynch - Actually not any worse under EA.
/thread right there. You have gained 100% of my respect.

Rockstar: GTA gets even more choices throughout the game which in the end lead to the same damn ending.

Every.
Single.
Time.
 

DustyDrB

Made of ticky tacky
Jan 19, 2010
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gmaverick019 said:
DustyDrB said:
-Uh oh! Looks like the grass is dying. You better give it some plant food! Here's some Gatorade! It has what plants need! Electrolytes, yeah! $16/square foot.
hah reminded me of this:



probably would be true, just as sims is expensive as shit, so would living your real life...

to add to yours:

wanna go downtown? Need to buy the whole downtown expansion! 50 dollars!
wanna go to a movie? the grocery store? Get the urban experience! 120 dollars!
Yeah, I was going for Idiocracy. But I messed up the quote. I need to watch that movie again. It always makes be feel really really good about myself.
 

Matthew Jabour

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Jan 13, 2012
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EA takes over Nintendo.
Mario: Mario's overall colors change to grey & brown, and Luigi is unlockable with $20 DLC.
Zelda: Link gets a new item; the AK-47, and that temple's boss is Shoota, Generic Tentacle Man.
Pikmin: Franchise discontinued for being 'Too narrow an audience'.
Metroid: Three direct sequels to 'Other M', where Samus gets a new suit of armor that is basically 3 scraps of fabric.
Kid Icarus: No direct sequels, but every other handheld game developed would use the same controls.
 

psicat

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Feb 13, 2011
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EA takes over Valve.

- I'd laugh in delight while all Valve fan-boys would be screaming in rage.
- Valve games would go onto a rapid development cycle, but at least it's better than a shit all development cycle.
- Steam exists just to make money so it would continue unchanged. After an obligatory let's not buy anything protest by it's consumers, that probably wouldn't last a day.
 

TsunamiWombat

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Sep 6, 2008
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Sean Hollyman said:
If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.
So... like Pokemon is now?
 

Ix Rebound

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Jan 10, 2012
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Terminate421 said:
If EA had the ability to take over the Halo games......

There would be:

Iron Sights
Chest High Walls
COMPLETELY Recharging health instead of the genius hybrid of shields and health
No Vehicles
Customizable Weapon Classes
2 hour Campaign
DRM
Online Pass
$20 Dollar Map Packs
Master Chiefs face would be revealed (At the begining of the game)
don't forget that you will have to buy forge and pay each month for the new spartan ops missions
 

GreyJedi

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Sep 22, 2009
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CaptainMarvelous said:
GreyJedi said:
SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
Dryk said:
I don't remember Jacob being black ever coming up.
Yeah, I mean, apart from his skin being dark and all.
If anything, he was a Latino. And yes, his personality was rather bland. But I still think you can't say that about the majority of ME3's major characters.
Jacob was black o_O. James was Latino. Which in no way justifies Smash's statement they're all bland characters just because you appear to have got them mixed up. There is a high percentage of 1-Dimensional characters but some of them are awesome, Garrus and Tali for example.

OT: EA buys out Grasshopper Studios. The release rate for games actually goes down, they start including DLC and doing direct sequels and lose any sense of joy or creativity as Suda 51 is 'respectfully asked to step down'. I still remember the fear when I saw EA's logo on the Shadows of the Damned box *shiver*
Whoops. You're absolutely correct. My apologies.
And yes, Jacob and James were rather bland. Like I said, I agree that -some- of the characters are rather one-dimensional, but I disagree that this would somehow apply to all of them...
For example, the same logic doesn't apply to, say, Joker, Anderson, Garrus, Tali, Liara, etc...
 

Elate

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Nov 21, 2010
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Vault101 said:
Wanna know the funny thing.. I ditched Morrigan for him, because I found her so badly characterized. I didn't even realize untill he subtly hinted at it, then I thought (His character being the type to joke around) that he was pulling my leg.. that was until the sex and what not. He was was one of the best characters in that game.

As with Me3, gotta disagree, walking into Cortez being all emotional was fucking hilarious. It was so over dramatized. It made me laugh for all the straight "I DONT WANT THE GAY IN ME3" guys who had to play through that.
 

Bassik

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Jun 15, 2011
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Soviet Heavy said:
Dawn of War 3 is written by Matthew Ward and C.S Goto.
Jesus... you can go too far with a joke, you know? Some people have actually read that shit. A little bit of respect.

I reported you to the mods for being incredibly offensive and cruel.
Bad boy.


:D
 

Zagzag

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Vault101 said:
anyway, Traynor, gay sterotype?....she doesn't hate men, she doesn't talk about feminism, no shaved head....nothing to indicate she is gay untill the shower scene..
Dispite going into the game completely blind, and not even knowing that there were homosexual romance options in the game, I had still picked up on the surprisingly unsubtle clues by then.
 
Sep 14, 2009
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
1) No one is there for the gameplay anyway. You'd be hard pressed to find someone who plays ME for the shooting bits. Close to everyone is there for the juicy conversations and story.
*raises hand*

I actually enjoy just about all of bioware's gameplay...hell, I don't think my 100+ playthroughs of kotor 1 and 2 could be justified without me enjoying it, and i know I put at least 10+ playthroughs into me1 and me2, which as said, I'd have to be crazy to replay that many times if i didn't enjoy it. granted alot of the enemies don't change much in actual styles and such, but really, not too many games do either, so I don't think you can really count that against them that they have only 4-5 different types of enemies.

Yeah it's not the best gameplay, wouldn't ever argue that, but it's enjoyable enough that it has never once stopped me from continuing the flow of the game or being actually broken.

but, I'll say cortez's sexual preference was a bit..thrown in there, it wasn't exactly "LOOK, I'M GAY, LOOK, HEY, LOOK!" but it was much more of a defining cheesy trait than it should have been, they should have actually up played his personality more or something. you don't see every straight person on board going "HEY. LOOK AT ME I LIKE BOOBIES!" whenever you walk by, usually they are just either talking about the ship or something going on in the galaxy.
 

Someone Depressing

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Jan 16, 2011
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Takes over Frictional.

Instead of stealth, you have a machine gun. Instead of sanity, you need to drink tons of liquor. Instead of the subtly, you're in a brightly lit palace-room. And it's a top-down joy-stick shooter. And the creepy, destructive, monsters that could only be more mutilated if they were Roberta William's face from the KQ4 game-over screen, you have cartoonish green-skinned zombies, like the ones from Clock Tower Ghost Head - a much worse game from Amnesia, but still pretty good if you want to learn about the basic human anatomy.

Oh, yeah. Instead of Daniel, you have Vulva Stones, a dirty, womanizing necrophile who is an ex-general in World War VII: The War of The Ownership of The Hookers.
 

Someone Depressing

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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
Lee Quitt said:
No I shall not capitalize the word god.
:(

joonsk said:
SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
I disagree. When you meet Cortez he tells you that he lost his husband. That's it. If it were a straight dude he would have sqaid that he lost his wife. I am actually quite happy with what Bioware did with that. A lot of movies, games and comics, gay personages have one character trait, being gay, that annoys me, even though I am straight.

Hell, have you played DA:O, remember that dude named Zevran (I think that was his name), he was much worse than Traynor or Cortez.
My problem with Cortez is him being gay is his only real personality trait. Him being gay is what people remember him by. That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say it's being shoved in your face, or that Bioware characters are terrible. They are all one dimensional husks with a single cliche separating them from everyone else. Cortez is gay, Jacob is black, Jack is an angsty teenagers, and on and on it goes. These characters have NOTHING else. There are one or two notable exceptions to this rule, but that's it.

The thing is, and this is what puzzles me about this, you would be fair in asking just how much characterization you can fit into a 30-40 hour game. The answer is a lot, but Bioware instead choose to focus on something else, which is weird. Since

1) No one is there for the gameplay anyway. You'd be hard pressed to find someone who plays ME for the shooting bits. Close to everyone is there for the juicy conversations and story.

2) Even though Bioware repeatedly ignore character progression to focus on developing God knows what, the actual gameplay STILL sucks ass. ME3 in particular is riddled with so many basic designing flaws, it's incredible.

So the question is, where is all this extra development going? It's not going into the characters, it's no going into graphics, it's obviously not going into the gameplay (I mean ffs, you shoot the same 4 types of enemies all game)...

They had 2 years to work on Mass Effect 3, and a big budget, and yet they continue to ignore the massive issues that plague almost every aspect of their games, the most prominent being one dimensional characters.

Vault101 said:
See above, pretty much answers your post too.
I kind of liked KOTOR's combat, enough. And I liked the shooter-parts in Mass Effect, if not only because everything else about the game was utterly boring as fuck - not saying it's a bad game, but if you so much bat an eye at a durnken Hanna or whatever those jellyfish things were called, you get 7-paragraphs of text about their species, usually reinforcing reasons why they look like jellyfish.
 

Sandytimeman

Brain Freeze...yay!
Jan 14, 2011
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
Vault101 said:
SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
The Witcher.

EA pumps out Witcher 3 in a year, splits the game up into 3 pieces of DLC. It's 10 hours long and [b/]theres a shit ton of gay sex that gets shoved in your face. [/b]
.
eh?...I don't get the connection with EA there

unless your talking about ME3...but come on...it wasn't shoved in your face, neither was it an EA marketeting decision...it was just a story desicion by Biowae
Pretty sure EA are back there rubbing there hands since they know Biowares habit of "embracing" (but really insulting) the gay community is selling 500.000 extra copies.

Vault101 said:
it wasn't shoved in your face
Except it was.

I explore my ship. I reach the lower level, talk to the first person I see. He blurts out "BY THE WAY I'M GAY AND I HAD A HUSBAND AND HE DIED IN THE WAR DID I MENTION I'M REALLY GAY". Yeah, that's how homosexuals always introduce themselves to others, apparently.

So after a resounding fuck that I take Shepard to the citadel. Yeah, this is pretty cool, just walking along... Suddenly, you overhear a LOUD AS FUCK conversation between a gay couple who just can't stop emphasizing how gay they are.

What makes this doubly amusing is that the straight couples in the ME universe never got this treatment. Apparently heterosexuality is out of fashion in the future.
In reality you get that for a few reasons. The first being that most likely that bioware writers probably arn't gay but is trying to write a gay relationship.

Second a real homosexual relationship from where I live would be a quiet scared short term thing between two people who desperately don't want to get disowned/fired/assaulted. If a character went into a game like that you probably wouldn't ever find out he was gay or get to engage in a gay relationship.

And that isn't fun for me, I want to be invested in the Shepard character and have awesome man love in space! (though wouldn't mind them bringing in some bishonen writers on it)
 

Avalanche91

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Jan 8, 2009
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EA takes over Bioware and......oh wait........

EA takes over Activision. The internet collectivly decides gaming wasn't that cool anymore anyway.
 
Sep 14, 2009
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
gmaverick019 said:
SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
1) No one is there for the gameplay anyway. You'd be hard pressed to find someone who plays ME for the shooting bits. Close to everyone is there for the juicy conversations and story.
*raises hand*

I actually enjoy just about all of bioware's gameplay...hell, I don't think my 100+ playthroughs of kotor 1 and 2 could be justified without me enjoying it, and i know I put at least 10+ playthroughs into me1 and me2, which as said, I'd have to be crazy to replay that many times if i didn't enjoy it. granted alot of the enemies don't change much in actual styles and such, but really, not too many games do either, so I don't think you can really count that against them that they have only 4-5 different types of enemies.

Yeah it's not the best gameplay, wouldn't ever argue that, but it's enjoyable enough that it has never once stopped me from continuing the flow of the game or being actually broken.
Heres a question then; would you have played ME1+2 10+ times if the story and dialog had been shrunk to an absolute bare minimum, making the shooting the games defining trait?
eh i'd play it once or twice,then maybe once every 6-9 months, but then again, you'll be hard pressed to find me play any game more than once or twice that i don't enjoy the story/characters/dialogue in.

that's how about 90% of my games are, you'll be diggin for quite a while to find games that i play that i played more than once that focused on gameplay above all else. (except for mount and blade warband, which is because, horseback sword and shield slicing through 60+ bandits doens't get old very fast.)
 
May 5, 2010
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
I actually did end up seeing your conversation with the other person, a long time after I quoted you. Like them, I won't get into a debate about ME3's quality, as we would accomplish exactly nothing. We clearly just disagree about a few things, and that's obviously fine. I guess I'll just leave it at that.