If this is the answer, what is the question?

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Thank you for your interest but the Aperture Science testing Initiative is not currently hiring would you like an information booklet?
 

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Right between the eyes.
 

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Apply superglue directly to the affected area, then add bacon as necessary.
 

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What should I do?

Stay a little longer.
 

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Does the 5-second rule count for cake if you delay the start of the count by an hour or two?

I used my mouth!