If you could go back and tell your teenage self one piece of advice...

[Zack Alklazaris]

Yeah you know how we thought it would be best if we just concentrated on school and video games. How we would stay out of that chaotic mess that was our peers. No relationships, no sex, no parties, no drugs, just straight as an arrow?

Yeah, you need to go out and party right now. Make friends! Yes I know their idiots and couldn't understand even basic physics much less the theories we love so much. But you need to talk to people or your going to be awkward as hell when you get older.

(time passes)

Hey its me again... yeah the meth thing. That was a little too far, don't do that.

 

[Doclector]

Beat them up. Brutalise them. You owe them nothing, especially not mercy.

And that L word? Steer clear of it. Forever.

 

[L. Declis]

You will have sex. Stop worrying about it. In fact, you'll have more than you want.

Don't give up on Warhammer. You'll never give it up, so you may as well keep what you have.

For god's sake, just break up with her. And then don't sleep with her afterwards.

Don't study Law at uni. You'll be bored stiff. And don't do English Lit. You'll be bored stiff.

Most of your friends won't be. Keep in touch with Hannah and don't worry about the rest.

You're under no obligation to be nice. You're perfectly kind to those who matter, so there's no point bending yourself backwards for anyone else.

Don't EVER try to be a friend to a girl you fancy. Just man up and ask them out. They won't suddenly decide to date you if they were never planning to. You'll just end up a passive-aggressive asshole.

 

[M Silverthorn]

Quit being a baby and learn to drive stick. It is SO much fun, trust me.
Less writer's craft, more engineering and design.
Clerics are HUGE in Onslaught. Stick with 'em.
Make sure you spend lots of time with your dad.

The "one" hasn't appeared yet. She won't for years, but you'll know her when you finally meet her at that airport. Don't let her go.

 

[rosac]

Don't date that girl. Psycho is not the word.

Study more, I'm sturggling now due to your laziness, you *****.

Ignore the haters and work on bulking the fuck up. Being skinny is not better than being chubby when it comes to hitting on girls.

and the most important piece of all...

Just go for it. Consequences happen, you have the rest of your life to sort that crap out. Emjoy it.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Start thinking about what you eat now so that I dont have to worry about dieting you fat little fucker!

And shave that pathetic bumfluff off your face goddamit!

 

[Truniron]

Note to younger self at the age of 10:
- Train more often. You will be rewarded.
- Study more, also outside of school. You´ll need it.
- Be more social. Talking to someone or joining a conversation is not a bad idea.
- Don´t go to the Russetreffet on Tryvann (a place where high school students celebrates that 13 years of school is over). You will regret it! Trust me!
- For all that is sacred: Do NOT attempt suicide in 8th grade. For gods, freaking sake, DON´T! That burden is unbearable and there is a way out.

 

[Quaxar]

To not waste a year on an attempt of a technical BSc but rather to go into medicine right from the beginning. Would have saved me a lot of time and fuss.

Or, and I think this one is far more important, to just quit the friendship with my then best (female) friend who obviously didn't care for it or me anyway and instead focus on not being an ass to my then girlfriend who was and still is the sweetest person ever.

You're lactose intolerant, Sam. So when you lose a ton of weight and are sick all the time, try and eat healthy afterwards so you don't put it all back on. Also - all girls ages 12-25 need to be slapped repeatedly, we're all assholes. Don't take it personally. Most of them will be miserable single mothers or divorced in 15 years. Don't take shit from anyone. And stop being shy, ffs. Doesn't do any good.

Edit: teenage girls need all the advice they can get. And a smack upside the head.

I just accidentally clicked "report" there while scrolling through the page. Just to make it clear: I do not condemn slapping anybody.
Wait... that didn't sound right either.

 

[Gunner 51]

My future self would probably say "You can't please everyone - oh, and when you're talking to Frankie, be sure not to mention Corey's opinion of her and vice versa. Doing otherwise will cost you a girlfriend and turn your friend round the bend with jealousy.

 

[TotalerKrieger]

Stay away from that girl, she is batshit crazy.

Exercise more, ffs.

Buy stock in google and apple.

People medicine isn't a career worth going after, you'll drive yourself nutz and you'd suck at it anyways.

 

[mananomas131]

Younger me, wait a couple more years before you start swallowing all that dick, dude.
You're not gonna find any good dick till after high school anyway.
Keep it in your gorram pants.

 

[Gerishnakov]

Getting a girlfriend while in sixth form is not the be all and end all - you're going to university in 6 months ffs.

 

[Roland Gutwein]

Buy stock in Apple.

 

[Death Carr]

I am my teenage self, but I'm going to assume that this will let me go back a few years (approximately halfway through year 9)

You know that dickhead who keeps hitting you?
Don't kick him. Anywhere. When he's sitting down and tries to trip you up, don't kick him in the chest. He lays assault charges. It makes Hungry Jacks not give you a job.

for my second choice:

DO YOUR FUCKING MATHS HOMEWORK!

 

[RustlessPotato]

"Don't let Kelly go" and

"For fuck sake, Even if you've got a brain, study you idiot !" *smacks on head.

 

[Yopaz]

I would probably tell myself to eat more and gain more weight. Also to buy stocks in Google right after the finance crisis struck bottom. I'd be a millionaire then.

 

[KefkaCultist]

Just come out of that closet you've been hiding in since Jr. High. Sure, it'll give the bullies another thing to use against you, but they're already being assholes and you've put them in their place before. Being open about this will probably make you happier and besides, some people have already guessed it. Also, do your fucking homework you lazy ass.

EDIT: Oh, and don't fail PE three times. Having a senior year 2.0 filled with three PE classes back-to-back isn't that fun.

 

[odanhammer]

one piece of advice i'd give myself back as a teenager , kill yourself . life sucks.
Oh and the cake isn't worth it.

 

[jamman]

go listen to heavy metal, you'll like it.
stop hanging out with those "friends" who treat you like shit,
don't be so hard on yourself

 

[EHKOS]

Don't give a fuck about anything, work out, and please, PLEASE do not drive your mom to that doctor appt. It will cause you to become agoraphobic!