Children from Fallout/Skyrim. They'll detect and follow ANY attempts to enter my evil lair even by the greatest stealth artists and they're immortal for ZERO logical reason!
If you were an evil overlord, who or what would you use for henchmen?
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A bunch of just, you know, guys in brightly coloured jumpsuits and hardhats. Probably topped off with a few novelty goons, such as a disgraced former footballer who uses a series of football themed gadgets, like, a football which he kicks at you, then it explodes.
What can I say, I'm a traditionalist.
What can I say, I'm a traditionalist.
Don't you watch/play/read any movies/games/books? Against the organised, relentless armies of hell, a plucky peasant with a sword and less than a months training can't possibly lose. God help you if it turns out they're an orphan as well.Barbas said:A peasant with a sword, you say? Against the limitless, organised and immortal armies of hell itself, you say?Strazdas said:
appropriate response:shootthebandit said:Tiny little respirators buddy. Theres no stopping me nowStrazdas said:pesticide takes care of them easily.shootthebandit said:
Still very deflatable by a human army, let alone by my army of self-replicating robot gods.Thomas Barnsley said:
Thats a good plan, but they are very much defenceless and easily neutered. Can you spell EMP.Rowan93 said:
A modder will make thme run naked and die.Ryan Minns said:
Well, if the limitless army of hell itself is limited by what we see of daedra in games, very much so. Seriuosly, elder scroos "Devils" are one of the weakest out of all rpgs. daedras are pathetic in combat. Or maybe i just broke the game with a single regen heath ring because that one made me immortal kinda. Still it would take A LOT of hits for daedra to kill me even naked.Barbas said:A peasant with a sword, you say? Against the limitless, organised and immortal armies of hell itself, you say?Strazdas said:
And yes i saw a random NPC peasant killing one.
also dont forget, in the movies a peasant always defeat evil and steals the princess, because fuck logic.
Hmm... I gotta go with the old classic:
Nazis.
For two reasons:
1) Fashion sense! If I'm going to be a right-proper evil overlord, then I need henchmen who have sensible taste in the "evil and gaudy to extreme" department. Nazi's pretty much perfected that whole field of fashion.
2) Expendability! Proper henchmen are suppose to be extremely expendable. As an evil overlord, you don't want smart or overly powerful minions that could take over. No, you want minions you can kick off bridges without feeling a twinge of remorse! Kicking several Nazi minions off a tower every day is worthy entertainment for any evil overlord. All these other people suggesting horridly overpowered things would have a lot of trouble if they ever tried to exercise their overlordy-ness on super-aliens from outer space or uber-robots.
Hmm... Disney Princesses at first seemed plausible:
1) Introduce Hero to Disney Princess
2) Have a last fight to make it convincing and then say " you convinced me to change my ways"!
3) Throw wedding party for Hero and Disney Princess
4) Continue with evil overlord plans now that the hero is out of the way.
...But then I realized that in nearly every Disney film the villain dies. Which is surprisingly dark. So they'd be more likely to just murder me then believe I had changed. 'Tis a pity, seemed like such a good plan.
Nazis.
For two reasons:
1) Fashion sense! If I'm going to be a right-proper evil overlord, then I need henchmen who have sensible taste in the "evil and gaudy to extreme" department. Nazi's pretty much perfected that whole field of fashion.
2) Expendability! Proper henchmen are suppose to be extremely expendable. As an evil overlord, you don't want smart or overly powerful minions that could take over. No, you want minions you can kick off bridges without feeling a twinge of remorse! Kicking several Nazi minions off a tower every day is worthy entertainment for any evil overlord. All these other people suggesting horridly overpowered things would have a lot of trouble if they ever tried to exercise their overlordy-ness on super-aliens from outer space or uber-robots.
Hmm... Disney Princesses at first seemed plausible:
1) Introduce Hero to Disney Princess
2) Have a last fight to make it convincing and then say " you convinced me to change my ways"!
3) Throw wedding party for Hero and Disney Princess
4) Continue with evil overlord plans now that the hero is out of the way.
...But then I realized that in nearly every Disney film the villain dies. Which is surprisingly dark. So they'd be more likely to just murder me then believe I had changed. 'Tis a pity, seemed like such a good plan.
An army of goat-men. First get a totally amoral geneticist, give them a plan to create sentient but loyal goat-men, hire a few more upper level scientists each equally competent in their respective fields (computer programming, hardware design, metallurgists, engineers, psychological operations and of course a medical doctor and veterinarian who work together well). Have the other scientists work on different projects such as a flash-training VR system akin to the Matrix/Star Wars cloning facility, designing lightweight flexible yet stronger-than-steel body armor for the goat-men, and to ensure their loyalty the psyops doc and programmer would get together and design a propaganda program to make sure the goat-men never turn on me. Also behind the scenes before these others are ever hired, hire another team of engineers, architects, and security experts to design a fortress of reasonable size to house the goat-men, labs for each scientist team and a security network only I can access from my personal lair, complete with undetectable and shielded cameras and audio feeds from every room. Then kill the first team (but keep one member of each team alive and in a stasis pod until I can ensure their loyalty) so that no one but me knows my fortress' secrets. And later the second team except the top scientists and also place them into stasis. Then later transfer their brains into waiting henchgoats, brain-wash them and employ them while ensuring they retain their field knowledge to educate the promising young henchgoats.
You might be thinking "why goat-men?" Well, for one thing I think that'd be cool, the other side is that goats are extremely intelligent. And my henchgoats must be intelligent for me to even consider them for my nefarious purposes. Stupid henchmen are the reason villains always lose. Never spend less than top dollar on your henchmen. Also ensure they live well and content so they've no reason to turn on you (never mistreat your henchmen, kill them if need be but never abuse them). Anything that is willing to die in your service must respect and trust you. Also goats are extremely agile creatures.
So an army of hyper-intelligent, loyal goat-men would be fierce and also daunting. Give them dextrous hands of a human, agility and intelligence of a goat with reasoning of a human being, goat-like resilience mixed with human tenacity and you have an ultimate henchgoats.
Much better than trying to keep demons under your heel or other supernatural evil creatures.
Plus who wouldn't shit a brick if they saw an army of goat-men in nigh-invulnerable body armor, tanks and air/spacecraft bearing down to subjugate them. Also ensure they look demonic to exploit the cultural fear programmed into most human beings have in their subconscious of the image of the devil. An army of them.
And then perfect my already near-perfect maniacally evil laugh, conquer the planet and figure out just exactly what I am going to do with it. Also have standing orders to the elite henchgoats who protect my lair and fortress (which should be separate but linked) to take no prisoners and kill any would-be heroes. I don't do the evil cliche` of allowing heroes a chance to get away. They just get tossed in acid pits. Kill them, bind them, toss em in the acid pit. In that order thus ensuring they aren't faking it.
Maybe even make humanity serve the goat-men once we've conquered the world. After all, to keep a henchgoat happy one must ensure they benefit from world domination too since that was what they were bred for.
Also ensure backup plan of alien defense is in constant development in case after conquering the world some jackass offworlder will attempt to steal my hard won world away from me and my henchgoats.
I might be an evil overlord but that doesn't mean I can't have my soft spots for my henchgoats.
Henchgoats, ATTACK!!!
OMG Captcha agrees: "get your goat" AWESOME!
You might be thinking "why goat-men?" Well, for one thing I think that'd be cool, the other side is that goats are extremely intelligent. And my henchgoats must be intelligent for me to even consider them for my nefarious purposes. Stupid henchmen are the reason villains always lose. Never spend less than top dollar on your henchmen. Also ensure they live well and content so they've no reason to turn on you (never mistreat your henchmen, kill them if need be but never abuse them). Anything that is willing to die in your service must respect and trust you. Also goats are extremely agile creatures.
So an army of hyper-intelligent, loyal goat-men would be fierce and also daunting. Give them dextrous hands of a human, agility and intelligence of a goat with reasoning of a human being, goat-like resilience mixed with human tenacity and you have an ultimate henchgoats.
Much better than trying to keep demons under your heel or other supernatural evil creatures.
Plus who wouldn't shit a brick if they saw an army of goat-men in nigh-invulnerable body armor, tanks and air/spacecraft bearing down to subjugate them. Also ensure they look demonic to exploit the cultural fear programmed into most human beings have in their subconscious of the image of the devil. An army of them.
And then perfect my already near-perfect maniacally evil laugh, conquer the planet and figure out just exactly what I am going to do with it. Also have standing orders to the elite henchgoats who protect my lair and fortress (which should be separate but linked) to take no prisoners and kill any would-be heroes. I don't do the evil cliche` of allowing heroes a chance to get away. They just get tossed in acid pits. Kill them, bind them, toss em in the acid pit. In that order thus ensuring they aren't faking it.
Maybe even make humanity serve the goat-men once we've conquered the world. After all, to keep a henchgoat happy one must ensure they benefit from world domination too since that was what they were bred for.
Also ensure backup plan of alien defense is in constant development in case after conquering the world some jackass offworlder will attempt to steal my hard won world away from me and my henchgoats.
I might be an evil overlord but that doesn't mean I can't have my soft spots for my henchgoats.
Henchgoats, ATTACK!!!
OMG Captcha agrees: "get your goat" AWESOME!
The Deathclaws from fallout. but with those mindcontrol helmets the enclave uses so they don't go nuts and cause more problems to me than they are helping
The last one weren't wearing the control helmet. run for your lives
they are almost impossible to kill, they run faster than most animals and they kill you in 2 to 3 hits (and that's when you wear heavy armor). Anything that were to opose me would have it's skull used as a chewtoy.
The last one weren't wearing the control helmet. run for your lives
they are almost impossible to kill, they run faster than most animals and they kill you in 2 to 3 hits (and that's when you wear heavy armor). Anything that were to opose me would have it's skull used as a chewtoy.
Well the Imperial Guard obviously!
Individually they may not hold up but there's so many of them to fight of anything you throw at them.
It's also often forgotten that they are actually not that badly equiped. Lasguns are considered more potent than today's assault rifles and Flak-Armour provides quite good protection agains ballistics and shrapnels. It's just that everything else in the 40k universe is a tad overpowered.
They also have diverse and fancy uniforms depending on their regiment.
Also: Having the Death Korps of Krieg protecting my front lawn would be kinda neat.
Failing that:
I go with pre Marian roman infantery.
(I know there were technically cohorts of Triarii in post Marian legions. But it's just not the same.)
Individually they may not hold up but there's so many of them to fight of anything you throw at them.
It's also often forgotten that they are actually not that badly equiped. Lasguns are considered more potent than today's assault rifles and Flak-Armour provides quite good protection agains ballistics and shrapnels. It's just that everything else in the 40k universe is a tad overpowered.
They also have diverse and fancy uniforms depending on their regiment.
Also: Having the Death Korps of Krieg protecting my front lawn would be kinda neat.
Failing that:
I go with pre Marian roman infantery.
(I know there were technically cohorts of Triarii in post Marian legions. But it's just not the same.)
For my evil henchmen I would hire the ex-members of the SAS, Navy Seals, Seal Team Six, and Delta Force. I would have the best soldier from each group make up my personal bodyguard when having to leave my evil base. After that I would hire ex-soldiers and mercenaries to make up the bulk of my private army. I would have them be required to train at least 20 hours a week and have the SAS, ST6, and Delta Force members as trainers to help improve them. '
I will also make sure to treat them like family and give them good benefits so they won't feel the need to betray me. That way if a James Bind type does somehow sneak in my soldiers will be able to deal with him easily.
I will also make sure to treat them like family and give them good benefits so they won't feel the need to betray me. That way if a James Bind type does somehow sneak in my soldiers will be able to deal with him easily.
Yes. My robots would be EMP shielded due to their replicator structure (which adops and learns to avoid EMP in the series). however your particualr choice - "i, Robot" does not live after an EMP. And EMP isnt that hard.Rowan93 said:
liek this, but with more than AA batteries
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-an-EMP-Generator
really, they can easily be downed by couple plasma rifle shots or an adventurous vault dweller with a dart gun (thats how i used to kill them), and you can outrun them.Not Matt said:
basically very expensive mercenaries. No match for my robot army.Bat Vader said:
Tiny little asbestos jackets. I have the most prepared army of hornets and once again nothing can stop me nowStrazdas said:appropriate response:shootthebandit said:Tiny little respirators buddy. Theres no stopping me nowStrazdas said:pesticide takes care of them easily.shootthebandit said:
Robots and bounty hunters that never get paid reason being is because the hunt is so hard that they end up getting defeated that and the ability to send whomever almost defeats me into the future where my evil is law. Where the foll will seek to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku er... I mean GodsFist
That's exactly what I thought of when I read the op. Seriously these guys for assassins and silver knights for guardsmen and you'll be set.Caramel Frappe said:.. Black Knights from Dark Souls.
These guys don't mess around. They're so loyal to their lord that they'll fight dragons head on and even when scorched in the fire- they'll return with dignity, their armors blackened by the fire itself. They're very tough due to their massive sizes and range from carrying large swords, greatswords, axes, and spears.
Why are they the perfect minions? They'll stand on guard for centuries and will seek out whatever target you've assigned them too even if they must aimlessly wonder the Earth in search for said target. A legion of these guys would be deadly indeed.
I always wanted to see the silver knights dogpile an eternal dragon, peel it's scales back and prick it to death. Or imagine Gwyn's four fighting them, that's something I'd pay out the ass to see
- Mar 31, 2010
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Bravo, that's the best explanation we've had on this thread yet! With such villainous potential, I would like to formally invite you to join us at the Injustice League, if you wish accept to accept my offer please follow the below link to reach our group:amaranth_dru said:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/The-Injustice-League