If you were an evil overlord, who or what would you use for henchmen?

[Strazdas]

Well, this one actually took some thought. mainly because my first thoughts was how to kill them.

I really liked the way Diablo1099 ninjad me with killer robots. however i would also combine them with replicators mentioned by Azurelord707 (damn, i just got ninhjad all over), to make them almost unstoppable. however that is still lacking. no.
I think we need to merge those robots with the power of Kronos

Spoiler

Then we not only have always reliable self healing self manufacturing robot army but also they are immortal and with godly powers. It would take a combined effort of a group of gods to even trap (since you cant kill it) ONE of them, and i would have THOUSANDS.

Now, time to pick up a fight with your puny henchmen.....

Spoiler

Pretty much my evil in a nutshell; inept, useless, but good for a cheap laugh

That actually was my first thought. HOwever easily counterable with an actual competent police force.

Spiders. All of the spiders in the world. Aside from instantly conquering perhaps 5% of people with the phrase "submit or I'll send spiders after you", I'd also have the perfect assasins.

Thinking about it though, Big Daddies might be impervious to their attacks.

Solution: anti spider poison/perspirant.

.. Black Knights from Dark Souls.

Solution: rifle with armor piercing bullets.

...Or those cruel and efficient denizens of Oblivion, the Daedra...

If i remember correctly a peasant with a sword could kill it. Not really menacing.

Spoiler: Do the Borg count as robots?

Ball is more efficient than a cube to defend (think deathstar without the exhaust duct). But yeah, it may even take couple of my robots to take it down.

Kittens! Genetically modified so they don't grow up, and so that they can walk bipedally and hold things, but still look adorable. They are naturally evil, and no hero would ever be able to harm them. It is foolproof, FOOLPROOF! Mua Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

kittens, i think this video shows their effectiveness.

Spoiler

I'd genetically engineer Daleks Your move.

Daleks....yeah i got nothing.

Spoiler: giant fucking wasps

pesticide takes care of them easily.

Xenomorphs.

Only so I can finally be the one to not skrew up while trying to domesticate them.

a big nice tank should take care of your army.

I would have an army of Moviebobs.

yeah i can see how that would work. unstoppable, unshuttable.

Hmm an army of something awesome...Maybe Reapers because when im done conquering the US i'll go for the Universe and i'll be the Lord of everything

reapers are essentialy suicidal, so its easy to just wait them out.

Given that I'm completely evil in this scenario I'd have to go with slave children.

An army of kids trained as efficiently as the soldiers in 300 and sent off to fight at the youngest viable age possible. Ideally between 8-12. Who really wants to kill thousands of children in order to get to me?

Glad I'm not evil.

All it takes is one of me and you lost.

As for someone specific... Hmm... How about the Monobeasts? Monokuma included

Nothing is going to stand in my way! Mwahahaha

Except, maybe, tanks?

tl;dr: My henchmen would be the Zerg swarm.

your chineese zergs are no match for robot armies.

These guys, two and a half meter tall genetically engineered warriors in power armor with missiles, a laser, and a machinegun.

genetically engineered warriors tire. robots dont.

Just hordes and hordes of skeletons.

There isn't a problem in the world that wouldn't solve by simply throwing enough skeletons at it!
I mean skeletons are great, they don't eat, they don't smell, most of them don't even talk or think for themselves!

easily destroyed by fire.

Annoying pop bands to annoy people with their cheerful inanity.

solvable by rock n roll.

The raptors shall hunt!

but what to do if your raptor stole my banana?

I'm going to use the obvious choice: The Minions from the Overlord series.

very easy to defeat, they die in thousands in that game.

 

[Azkar Almsivi]

I think the panserbjørne from His Dark Materials.

Expert craftsman and engineers which happen to be armoured polar bears. What the hell else could I need?

That is my favorite series of novels ever, followed by Crown of Stars. I salute your choice.

Plus don't forget their flame catapult things you'll have access to.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Eh, seriously, SAS personnel. Don't care if they are British, Australian or New Zealand SAS, they are all fairly similar.

 

[Barbas]

Eh, seriously, SAS personnel. Don't care if they are British, Australian or New Zealand SAS, they are all fairly similar.

Wot...Super Army Soldiers? That's cheating.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Eh, seriously, SAS personnel. Don't care if they are British, Australian or New Zealand SAS, they are all fairly similar.

Wot...Super Army Soldiers? That's cheating.

Well...that's arguably the whole point of the SAS in the first place.

 

[Khaine the betrayer]

I would use the minions from Overlord of course! I mean, they are funny(Debatable), They are effective(Debatable) and they are loyal to me too!(Also debatable)

 

[shootthebandit]

Spoiler: giant fucking wasps

pesticide takes care of them easily.

Tiny little respirators buddy. Theres no stopping me now

 

[Barbas]

Well...that's arguably the whole point of the SAS in the first place.

There is no fun in this room. I am taking my vuvuzela and leaving.

 

[Thomas Barnsley]

Xenomorphs.

Only so I can finally be the one to not skrew up while trying to domesticate them.

a big nice tank should take care of your army.

Not if you include evolved xenomorphs. With acid spitters and giant trexs it would take bombers, at least.

As far my elite guard...

Spoiler: Rahkshi

Extremely dangerous monsters with an extremely long list of powers (http://bionicle.wikia.com/wiki/Rahkshi#Types_of_Rahkshi) as well as being incredibly loyal? They're the perfect guardians as well as the perfect mecha-monsters to assist my Necron army (and they'd blend in pretty well, which is good because my empire would need a unifying look).

I think the panserbjørne from His Dark Materials.

Expert craftsman and engineers which happen to be armoured polar bears. What the hell else could I need?

I like these two as well. I'm going to steal them.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Easy!

The most evil force the universe! Lawyers!

That sounds.... incredibly efficient and realistic, and just diabolical. Touche! It might be a good idea though to throw in a few judges to go with those lawyers.

snip

snip

As formidable as dragons are, they aren't easy to control, you'll get yourself eaten unless you can prove to be more powerful than the dragons. Provided you can do that, it wouldn't be fun to control them, because you'd have them constantly challenging you for superiority. The best way to control a dragon is the same way you control a cat, let them just do what they want to do and make sure none of the damage happens in your general direction. It's just never a good idea to control a dragon, now befriending a dragon, that's a good idea, if only more video game protagonists would learn this.

You know, this is where a lot of evil overlords go wrong...

---
OT: Shapeshifters,
an actual dragon wouldn't be a good idea, I never said anything about a creature that could turn into a dragon.
[sub]Yay for loopholes[/sub]

 

[Thaluikhain]

Well...that's arguably the whole point of the SAS in the first place.

There is no fun in this room. I am taking my vuvuzela and leaving.

Well, I had to say "arguably", because there is concerns about Special Forces being seen as "same as the army, but better", which negates much of the "special" part, and ends up with lots of resources and the best personnel being used to allow them to do things the regular forces already can and all. Only nobody wants to go into that.

Cap: sup er star

 

[RoonMian]

Dwarfs looking like Justin Bieber.

Captcha: case closed

 

[Krantos]

Bunnies.

Cute, Adorable bunnies.

The world shall be so enthralled by their cuteness, they won't be able to resist.

And if they do? Well there's an answer to that too.

Spoiler

 

[Rowan93]

I'd have the robots from I, Robot, with their three laws programming modified to apply to specifically me rather than to all humans (and to include a safeguard against the stuff that happens in the film).

Rather than let them resort to mere superstrength hand-to-hand combat, I'd give them assault rifles, which with their mechanical precision and speed would basically mean my enemies all get dropped with headshots as soon as combat begins.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

snip

snip

Spoiler: Genius!

As formidable as dragons are, they aren't easy to control, you'll get yourself eaten unless you can prove to be more powerful than the dragons. Provided you can do that, it wouldn't be fun to control them, because you'd have them constantly challenging you for superiority. The best way to control a dragon is the same way you control a cat, let them just do what they want to do and make sure none of the damage happens in your general direction. It's just never a good idea to control a dragon, now befriending a dragon, that's a good idea, if only more video game protagonists would learn this.

You know, this is where a lot of evil overlords go wrong...

---
OT: Shapeshifters,
an actual dragon wouldn't be a good idea, I never said anything about a creature that could turn into a dragon.
[sub]Yay for loopholes[/sub]

You sneaky master overlord.

You're not really a dragon, but an all powerful being that likes to be a dragon, aren't you?

I think I'll learn shapeshifting myself, and join your army.
May your rule be strong, and eternal.

Thanks for the tips, friend. ;D

 

[Auron225]

Chickens... from any Zelda game.

1) They are immortal & invincible. Don't even joke about ordering chicken in a restaurant...
2) If you oppose them, you run or you die. Even then I can't recommend the running option cus they can f*cking fly. They WILL find you.

It might take a while for them to kill something big (like a robot) but that's alright - I have no shortage of them since they seem to multiply in combat and, as I said, cannot die. It just means a slow death for my enemies in a fight. Soon my enemies just won't even try it since they'll know the futility of their efforts.

 

[Nokturos]

Spoiler

Strong enough to destroy planets with a flick of their wrists, and rigorously trained in the art of choreographed posing.

 

[Vidiot421]

Hopefully not stated yet, But an army of George R.R. Martin's, writing well thought out, lovable characters, and then murdering them. This will send everyone into deep, deep depression, allowing easy rule.