1.) Yes, it would matter to me that they were honest enough to tell me. Cheating is dishonest by definition (because if it wasn't dishonest it wouldn't be cheating, it'd be polyamory or an open relationship or.. etc.), but asking forgiveness kinda shows that they want to make amends and be honest. Obviously it's different if they're just lying or there's some pattern, but people do make mistakes. It's better to let somebody be honest too late, than to punish them equally regardless and make it so they have no reason to ever amend a mistake.Chancie said:I'm taking a poll for a class, so I need honest opinions!
Here's the situation. Let's say your significant other cheated on you, but instead of finding out some dramatic way, they came clean and told you themselves.
1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
3. Are you male or female?
Thanks, guys!
Note: I know it really depends on the circumstances, but I mean in a general and hypothetical situation, if possible. Or, if anything, think about the relationship you're currently in now and apply it to this.
It would make a difference, I'd respect them more for telling me. I'd still end it though.Chancie said:1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
Maybe. I think it's one of those events where you only truly know how you'd act when you experience it. In this current mindset, I don't think there would be much that would convince me to work through it.Chancie said:2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
Female.Chancie said:3. Are you male or female?
This makes a lot of assumptions about my relationships. I have never understood romanitic jealousy, so any relationship I've been in have had no rules about sleeping/not sleeping with anyone else. Then again I've never "been in love" the way it's portrayed in various media. My relationships are either sexual or emotional, and I never mix the two. This is not out of choice, but simply how my psyche works. I have never felt an emotional attachment to a sexual partner, nor have I felt sexual attraction to a close friend. So wheter or not a partner has slept with someone else is really not a concern for me.1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
For me it is a complete turn-off when someone is clingy and wants some kind of monogamous relationship. I love my freedom more than any given sexual partner.2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
Female.3. Are you male or female?
You do have a problem. That's not healthy. For your own health, I'd advise you to just end it. Stick up for yourself. I was never good at confrontations either, but at the start of last year something changed. Part of what made me change, was simply confronting someone. Maybe properly confronting your girlfriend about this (and I mean confronting, not asking what you did wrong) would help you with confrontations.joshuaayt said:1-2: My girlfriend DOES cheat on me, relentlessly- and you know what I do, when I inevitably find out a few days later? Ask her what *I* did wrong.
I think I have a problem... But I can quit her, whenever I want... Yeah.
I know that she's not respecting me, at all, here, but I'm not very good at confrontations.
3: Male.