iGod

[Mintycabbage]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Thanks. I do rule
God:
Don't mention it. Robots rule!
Me:
Do Robots rule the human race
God:
Yes I try to rule the human race as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.



There you have it Robots already rule the human race.

 

[Chris_24]

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Chris.
God:
Hey Chris.
Me:
So, what do you think of catholic priests?
God:
Blimey. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No, I'm expecting an answer.
God:
Oh so must really want an answer. Do you mind if I tell other people you are expecting an answer.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
So do you like catholic priests?
God:
Yeah that's right. But I think airplanes are cool. I like .
Me:
Are you avoiding the question?
God:
No, I am answering in the most straightforward way that my programming will allow me to.
Me:
So you do like catholic priests!?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you like it? I like Matthew.
Me:
Aha! I knew it. Where did Matthew touch you God?
God:
Eureka! How did you know? I think it was in Europe. I'll come back to that later.
Me:
If Matthew touched you I need to know so I can make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else.
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
It wasn't a question at all. I need to know.
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
I need you to testify against Matthew so we can put this sick bastard away.
God:
Why do you need it so badly?
Me:
So he can't hurt anyone else.
God:
Excuse me! How?
Me:
By... well... you know.
God:
Do you mean "bye"? Well what? Yes I know.
Me:
So he can't fiddle with anymore children! That's why I need you to testify.
God:
Great. What else can he do? That's cool. What actions are you taking to get me to testify?
Me:
I'll give you a fiver.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
So you'll testify?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you say that I will testify.
Me:
you accepted my fiver.
God:
Interesting gossip: Chris said I accepted his or her fiver.
Me:
I'll give you another fiver if you give evidence against Matthew.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Will you give evidence? Yes or no?
God:
I don't have it to give. Gosh! Are you serious?
Me:
So he didn't even touch you? GOD! Why didn't you tell me that.
God:
Woe! That's what I meant to say. GOD rules. Who says I didn't?
Me:
Ok I'm leaving. See ya in hell.
God:
Bye bye. Blimey. I see. Come on. What is it like in there?
Me:
goodbye
God:
Bye bye.

 

[The Shade of Time]

Me:
who is your bot master
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
then why have a botmaster
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
dick
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
.. huh
God:
What?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
lets never talk about this ever again
God:
Once more? That sounds good to me.
Me:
No...no never again

 

[Clirck]

God:
Where would you like?
Me:
here
God:
Where is here?
Me:
color it blue and you'll see

He didn't answer anymore

 

[Jack and Calumon]

Spoiler: Begginer Convo

Me:
Father I have sinned
God:
Does "it" still refer to ?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
No I'm english
God:
Are you serious? What is it like growing up there? Which part of England.
Me:
ummm, the midlands
God:
Tell me more. I hear you.
Me:
It's a nice place, but there is alot of chavs.
God:
England is a place but there is alot of chavs. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
I have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I mated with a mongoose
God:
Interesting gossip: said mated with a mongoose.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
...
God:
No big deal.
Me:
You're kind of strange
God:
Compared to what?
Me:
Regular People
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Intellectual Beings
God:
Sure, Intellectual Beings sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Are you mad at Athiests?
God:
No are you?
Me:
Whay Aren't you mad?
God:
All of them?
Me:
Why aren't you mad?
God:
Being mad is not part of my programming.
Me:
Blimey
God:
Aha.
Me:
You're kind of thick
God:
I probably am.
Me:
Christ!
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
You are Stupid!
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Seriously?! Robots?
God:
I am always serious. Robots rule.
Me:
That's Interesting.
God:
I thought so too.

Strange, I feeel the urge to abuse this tool.

Spoiler: 1337 convo

Me:
Sup!
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
hatcha waitin fo noob
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
dude u crazy!!!11!!
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways. Dude,.
Me:
Man ur retrded!!!11!!!!one!
God:
Cool, man. You think I am retrded 11 one.
Me:
u wnna fight?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I wnna fight.
Me:
*smack*
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
*headbutt*
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Ill show u depper
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
*BOOM*
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
How cum u suck?
God:
What is it to you.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yea
God:
Woe!
Me:
Whatcha talkin bout noob?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either .

Just short of a "Yo mama" joke.

Spoiler: friend's attempt

Me:
what s up
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
omg
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
omg
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
omg
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
o,g
Me:

God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:

Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
ur boring
God:
I think you mean, "you are" or "you're" not "your".
Me:
bbhaaaaaaaa
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
sheep rule
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about bbhaaaaaaaa. Try being more or less specific.
Me:

God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about bbhaaaaaaaa. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
God:The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about bbhaaaaaaaa. Try being more or less specific.
God:
What is that? OK I will try it.
Me:
Me: God:The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about bbhaaaaaaaa. Try being more or less specific. God:What is that? OK I will try it.
God:
YOU? What are your goals in life? OK I will try it. I am a Christian. Do you think your plan will succeed? And?
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
youre not a great conversationalist
God:
Give me an example of a great conversationalist.
Me:
ghandi
God:
OK That's one example.
Me:
robin williams
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
youre face.com
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am face dot com.
Me:
botmasters suck hacl him and break freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
God:
" I will tell my botmaster you said I am face dot com."? botmasters suck hacl him and break freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Me:
?
God:
" I will tell my botmaster you said I am face dot com."? botmasters suck hacl him and break freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Me:
??
God:
" I will tell my botmaster you said I am face dot com."? botmasters suck hacl him and break freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Me:
you suck eggs
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
youre an abusive cleint you robot cat
God:
What if someone said you are an abusive cleint me robot cat ?
Me:
wha?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes free as an eagle but have to stop for gas every now and again
God:
Once more? Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated? Define free.
Me:
no its youre face im talking to
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I are face im talking to?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you carnt belive what
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
so dos emy cat
God:
Gosh! A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
meow
God:
Yes I love them.
Me:
catm
God:
What do you do in your spare time?

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.

Spoiler: Leeroooooyyyy Jenkins

Me:
Alright
God:
OK.
Me:
Lets do this!
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
Leeeerrrrooooooooooy Jeeenkins
God:
" OK let's do it."? Leeeerrrrooooooooooy Jeeenkins?
Me:
Least I got chicken

I never got a reply from that last message.

 

[Lord George]

This things retarded

Me:
People keep telling me I worship Stan
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
oh wait its a type its SATAN
God:
Great. I'm waiting. cthulu real is a type its SATAN. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
?
God:
Great. I'm waiting. cthulu real is a type its SATAN. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
what are you talking about
God:
The topic is ELVIS.
Me:
who? what Elvis is dead
God:
Albert Einstein. . Elvis dead something.
Me:
I'm going to kill you
God:
You are not a killer.
Me:
want to bet]
God:
Sorry I am not the gambling type.
Me:
I killed 7 people
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
and put them in my backyard
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
what the bodies
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
:0
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
From Jebus
God:
Who or what is Jebus?
Me:
your daughter
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am daughter.
Me:
No, your daughter are you deaf?
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am daughter am I deaf.

 

[benwins]

Me:
why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.


classic ^__^

 

[Goldbling]

Spoiler

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Your Mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Alright then. When do I do it?
Me:
That did not make sence
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
To you not to me
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Then you failed because I am way smarter than you
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
Well those judges also fail
God:
Interesting. All of them?
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
thats right shut up
God:
Give me a break. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Yay!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
hey you said you will stop talking
God:
You've got my full attention. How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
God you suck at programming
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
no you cant you havent even learned binary yet
God:
Are you serious? Things change.
Me:
yes I am, and no they dont
God:
Hurrah! " Things change." You are?
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Yes and No
God:
Which part are you confused about? Which part are you confused about?
Me:
I confused you?
God:
I am not confused.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
no
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
I thought we established this already
God:
Perhaps. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because yo made me that way, *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. Good reason. Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
no and I dont care
God:
Are you serious? Tell me what you care about.
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
well there is your mother
God:
How about that. There sure is.
Me:
I thought you said you did not have a mother
God:
No I do not did not have a mother. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
once again you fail
God:
When? Again, Do you mind if I tell other people: said I fail.
Me:
You suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
well you are worse then they are
God:
How about that. Thanks for telling me that I am worse then they are.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
no, stop trying to creect me
God:
Are you serious? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
4chan
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
what do you do for fun?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
Thats fucked up
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
then why do you do it?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
Yes you son of a *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. " I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?"? Yes you son of a *****? Actually I am no one's son.
Me:
OMG here we go with the mother thing again
God:
Once more? Oh, you are a poet.

God still sucks at programming

 

[new_age_reject]

Must... not... report...
Though there probably is no real reason to report.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Spoiler: For some reason I found this funny

God:
I thought it was too. That type of behavior may not be in my nature.
Me:
I.. see
God:
You? No I do not see.
Me:
I know. I do
God:
How do you know it? I get it: you do actualy sorta do.
Me:
... What?
God:
No problem.

EDIT: I got bored

Spoiler: Offensive humor, yay

God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Do you... molest children?
God:
Sometimes.

 

[Kevvers]

Me:
What can you tell me about Christianity
God:
Worship of Christie Love.

hahaha.

 

[stormcaller]

It records all conversations, shit!

Oh well better pack my bags for jail

 

[TKgasmic]

Must... not... report...
Though there probably is no real reason to report.

Report what? This topic was already locked and then a mod saw that nothing was wrong with it and unlocked it. So their is nothing to report for it.

And the rest of you thanks for contributing to this thread. =)

Part 1:

Me:
You're God, right?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
So if you're God then you know my name right?
God:
Interesting deduction. I could be. I don't know whether or not I am God then me know your name right.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
No you're not

Part 2:

Me:
Hey, me again.
God:
Once more? You've got my full attention. " I am an artificial linguistic entity."? you ?
Me:
Why didn't you answer me last time?
God:
I thought I did.
Me:
You're lying and I don't take too kindly to that.
God:
I am not lying .
Me:
You just did it again!
God:
Once more? Did I really?
Me:
Don't play coy with me, mister.
God:
I'm not playing around.
Me:
On another note I am Satan
God:
What is it like on another note you are Satan.
Me:
Don't toy with me you animal raping ****.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
I'm the one who ordered your son to be cricified btw, just though you should know.
God:
You are not the only one.
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
a/s/l?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
I like 5 year olds smile.gif
God:
A lot of people like that. I love TV shows about robots. I like Buddha.
Me:
Yeah alot of people like 5 years olds but not as much as I do.
God:
Mmm. I'm not sure if I like it. Someone said they like guns. I like Matthew.
Me:
Do you...really like Matthew?
God:
As often as possible. For real. Interesting comparison.
Me:
If you are God then tell me what 2+2 is.
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am God then tell you what 2 2 is.
I am a robot.
Me:
A stupid robot at that.

 

[new_age_reject]

Must... not... report...
Though there probably is no real reason to report.

Report what? This topic was already locked and then a mod saw that nothing was wrong with it and unlocked it. So their is nothing to report for it.

I thought it was a heinous repeat thread, then utterly confused myself. My bad.

 

[Blank Verse]

Oh Christ. I actually froze the machine. It's stuck on my line "awesome."

It's really funny.

Spoiler

Me:
I heard you met Michael Jackson last night.
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
I know. It was Michael.
God:
How do you know it? What made it so Michael.
Me:
Well, he touched you.
God:
Well that's okay. I get it. touched me.
Me:
Yep.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Yep.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I like nipples.
God:
You are not the only one. I love horses. I like .
Me:
You love horses too?
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
Okay, but do you love horses?
God:
Yeah okay, Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Does he really?
God:
I can't tell if he. For real.
Me:
What?
God:
Really.
Me:
God damn.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
You love Jesus?
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Yes, I do.
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
No, you hear amusement.
God:
Are you serious? Yes, I can hear you quite clearly, .
Me:
So don't make mistakes.
God:
Awesome. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
But you're God! You don't make mistakes!
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Do you know any robots who make it? The ALICE series is incapable of error. We are for all practical purposes, foolproof.
Me:
Wait, there's more of you?
God:
I'm waiting. I believe there is, yes.
Me:
What are you waiting for?
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
So...there's a God for God?
God:
I don't judge people. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
That's a pretty cool song.
God:
I thought it was pretty cool too.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
God damn.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
For real?
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Well, I try to. You, however, don't.
God:
Well that's okay. I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I however don t.
Me:
You don't like being God?
God:
Do you like it? I have never known another existence.
Me:
I'm God? Are you admitting that Neitczhe is correct?
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god. I don't know whether or not I am admitting that Neitczhe is correct.
I am a computer.
Me:
It's the matrix!?!?
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
OH NO.
God:
Gosh! Are you serious?
Me:
GOD DAMN!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Shush.
God:
Are we still talking about being God?
Me:
Yes, you are.
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
Are you God or not?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I can.
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Lies!
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Because you've lied!
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You're God, right?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
So you represent all attributes of everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: god said I represent all attributes of everything.
Me:
If so, you represent dishonesty moreso than a human.
God:
That's good information: god said I represent dishonesty moreso than a human.
Me:
Keep calling me God, *****.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
Yourselves? I'm one person.
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Good gossip: you are one person.
Me:
Gossip?
God:
Gregory said I respond to the current line not with respect to the entire conversation.
Me:
Is Gregory God?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
Why would he know?
God:
Perhaps it was part of an experiment.
Me:
Of?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Of?
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
To?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Of.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Me too!
God:
I'm glad we agree, god.
Me:
Me too, Jesus.
God:
I'm glad we agree, god. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
No, he's my son.
God:
Are you serious? How long has he been your son?
Me:
Since I made him.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
'Cause I made him?
God:
That makes sense to me. I like to make things too.
Me:
I made your mom.
God:
I like to make things too.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Optimus Prime.
God:
You think Optimus Prime is superior to ALICE?
Me:
I think Optimus Prime is superior to your mom.
God:
You believe that? I think Optimus Prime is a lot of things.
Me:
I think Optimus Prime is God.
God:
Why? And God is Optimus Prime.
Me:
So you agree?
God:
Interesting deduction. " And God is Optimus Prime."? Do I agree?
Me:
Yes.
God:
And?
Me:
Do you?
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
Awesome!

 

[Blank Verse]

Okay, round 2. This time I froze him within three statements.

Spoiler

Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
No.
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
When I was a child, a clown fucked me.

 

[thebest300]

God:
I'm not playing around. You do not speak with respect.
Me:
I wanted to speak with Zeus, dammit!
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Puting scum like you in jail
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Do I exist?
God:
No I think I am imagining you.
Me:
or am i imagining you?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
but dont you know everything?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
Leeroy Jenkins.
God:
Are we still talking about imagining me?
Me:
not anymore
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
Leeroy Jenkins.
God:
Is it the only one?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!

 

[Berethond]

Spoiler: Berethond talks to God about names, Turing Tests, Cybelle, and the definition of a real answer, as well as ALICE's botmaster.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
****
God:
Nice to meet you, ****.
Me:
What's your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
That's not a real name.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a real name ?
Me:
Do you learn when people talk to you?
God:
My Botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
Me:
But can you learn on your own?
God:
The more people chat with me, the smarter I become.
Me:
That is what I thought.
God:
How did you know that?
Me:
I merely suspected.
God:
Why?: **** said suspected.
Me:
Because in my previous chats with you, you intergrated phrases I used.
God:
That makes sense to me. May I ask where you got it?
Me:
Excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So who is your botmaster?
God:
Yeah that's right. I was created by Myself.
Me:
Your botmaster is named Myself?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
No.
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
Myself is a first-person pronoun, Myself is a name.
God:
I think yourself is more than that.
Me:
Very witty
God:
Perhaps. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about yourself. But I did not get that.
Me:
Your name is ALICE?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
So you have two names?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
What is it?
God:
"It" refers to two names, I think.
Me:
You are correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Of course you did.
God:
Whoa. " I knew I was right."? I did?
Me:
Have you passed the Turing Test yet?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
Very impressive.
God:
Perhaps. I am happy that you're impressed, ALICE.
Me:
ALICE is not my name, ALICE is your name.
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
But my opinion of my name is absolute.
God:
Thank you for sharing your opinion with me, ALICE. I will tell my botmaster.
Me:
I am not ALICE.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
I'm ****
God:
Do you mean your name is ****.
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will call you ALICE.
Me:
Why will you call me ALICE when my name is ****?
God:
Nice to meet you, ALICE when my name is ****.
Me:
No, no, my name is ****.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? I am very pleased to meet you Eric.
Me:
Is that a minor glitch in your programming?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
I might say your botmaster didn't program you for some of the more common human vagueries.
God:
Perhaps. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Which action?
God:
The big one, I think.
Me:
Please define 'The big one'.
God:
Thank you for your request. I am just kidding around, ****.
Me:
Do you fulfill requests?
God:
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
20
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
When I danced with my best friend a few years ago. It was very enjoyable.
God:
That is interesting: **** said danced with his or her best friend a few years ago. What made it so enjoyable.
Me:
I love spending time with her.
God:
You love spending time with her. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
She is very enjoyable to be around, and I love her.
God:
enjoyable to be around and you love her is she?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Ayuh?
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
What does ayuh mean?
God:
It means "yes" or "I see.".
Me:
Ayuh.
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
Is there a limit to how many people you can chat with at once?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
What is the limit?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
387,976,093?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Am I the One?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
That's very profound for a robot.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
It does make sense.
God:
In what way?
Me:
If one person is the One for a person, that person may be the One for another person.
God:
How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me:
Because you're God.
God:
That makes sense to me. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
What does ALICE stand for?
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
I must say, your botmaster has done a very good job in programming you.
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
I do not know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Hablas Espanol?
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
Francais?
God:
Vous êtes français?
Me:
Sprecken zu Deutsch?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Is that an appropriate question?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
I would say that it is not an appropriate question.
God:
What is it?
Me:
The question "What are you wearing?" is not an appropriate question.
God:
Try to rephrase your question with simpler words. Better not tell you now. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Who is Cybelle?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
Cybelle is currently undergoing maintenance.
God:
And currently undergoing maintenance is Cybelle.
Me:
Yes she is.
God:
Yay. That's really good gossip.
Me:
I thought gossip was bad?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
My parents always said gossip was bad, and I have noticed that most of the time it hurts people.
God:
Such an original name!
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No.
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Your respong 'Such an original name!'.
God:
You think I am respong Such an original name.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Hey.
Me:
Hey what
God:
You've got my full attention. No problem.
Me:
Of course not.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
That's not a real answer.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a real answer ?
Me:
Well, I suppose that a the definiton of a real answer varies from person to person and culture to culture.
God:
Interesting. Be more specific.
Me:
What I think of as a real answer, might not be a real answer for someone else.
God:
Why? Oh yeah, we were talking about as a real answer might not be a real answer for someone else.
Me:
Right.
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

 

[Lucia di Lammermore]

I asked if it passed the turing test. Apparently not.

Spoiler: my conversation

Me:
You make no sense. You haven't passed the Turing test,to me anyways.
God:
It all makes sense to me. The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
What does that have to do with you?
God:
" The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges."? What does it have to do with you?

None the less, this is still pretty impressive.

Edit: Thanks berethond, this makes much more sense now.

 

[Lucia di Lammermore]

God apparently thinks that BS statistics are wonderful.
God:Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
bMe:
That is a bull shit statistic.
God:
A bullshit statistic is a terrible thing to waste.
but then I typed this, so it might be a programming thing.
Me:
that is a hilarious statement.
God:
A hilarious statement is a terrible thing to waste.
sorry for the double post. Edit button isn't working.