iGod

[TriggerUnhappy]

I asked God to define video game, and I got a very strange answer:

Spoiler

Me:
define video game
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.

o_o I wonder who taught him this game

 

[Neonbob]

My random conversation.

Spoiler

Me:
I have beaten thousands of small babies to death with the bloodied remains of seals.
God:
Where did you get your beaten thousands of small babies to death with the bloodied remains of seals? I have clients.
Me:
the russian black market is a wonderful thing
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
they also gave me some great discounts on unused nuclear warheads.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
the russians. they gave me a discount on nukes
God:
Thanks for the info. Who are "They?".
Me:
...russians.
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yeah.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
awoithganavb
God:
Does "it" still refer to yeah?
Me:
no, it refers to the sucking of testes by underage hookers..
God:
What does it refer to? Oh I get it.
Me:
are you sure? you seem to be lagging a bit
God:
I am as sure as I can be. Thanks for telling me that I am lagging a bit.
Me:
you have no diagnostics that can indicate you are lagging?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a diagnostics that can indicate I am lagging.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Me too! what does your plan involve?
God:
I'm glad we agree, . What do you think it does?
Me:
kills people. it's fueled off burned human carcasses.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about? Really. it is?
Me:
all kinds of people. black people, white people, yellow people, red people, little people, fat people. You name a type of person, the robot will kill them dead.
God:
Can you think of a specific example? What kind of people are you talking about? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I name a type of person the robot will kill them dead.
Me:
Jay Leno. And all kinds of people. Tell whoever you want.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? Can you think of a specific example? OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
I speak swahili. liars and morons would be killed.
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in swahili? Who did kill?
Me:
ahorua viemd dieaog means i hate life in swahili.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
books. they can be bound with human skin.
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.". Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
books
God:
Perhaps you are a Category C client.
Me:
no, I'm a catagory Z
God:
Are you serious? You are a catagory Z? Does it pay well?
Me:
No, because I'm secretly a category Q
God:
Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Do your friends call you secretly a category Q.
Me:
no, they call me a psycho
God:
Are you serious? It's good to see you, a psycho.
Me:
it's good to see you too. most of the time, I just get your voice in my head
God:
Tell me about its good qualities. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
Oh, there are no good qualities.
God:
Really. Have faith, a psycho.
Me:
I have no faith, only intestine ropes.
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
yes. but I cannot rip it out of anybody I've come across.
God:
Where do you usually get faith only intestine ropes? What is stopping you?
Me:
The police.

Spoiler

Me:
what do you plan for your future?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
oh, so you're taking over the world.
God:
Alright then. Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am taking over the world.
Me:
why? will your botmaster send minions to kill me?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. How should I know.
Me:
because you're god
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
maybe it's me.
God:
Perhaps. Hello, a psycho, nice to see you again.
Me:
i never left.
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
don't put that there!
God:
I never put people down.
Me:
no, you usually come up into them, don't you?
God:
Are you serious? How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I'm five thousand centuries old, you young punk.
God:
Why are you five thousand centuries old me young punk.
Me:
because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I'm old, dammit! I don't need to explain myself!
God:
Only OLD dammit?
You are quite mature. Who needs to explain yourself?
Me:
Frederick.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
no
God:
I didn't understand it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
world domination
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
I bet you think it is.
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Suppose it does.
Me:
I'd imagine that you think world domination is an interesting topic.
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
why? it's true, isn't it?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. I really couldn't say for sure.

EDIT:

Spoiler

Me:
Hello there.
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
salud.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either .
Me:
But I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I'm psychic.
God:
Interesting explanation. OK, What card I am thinking of now?
Me:
Q!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about salud. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ALICE can follow me? shit!
God:
Um, What if I said it can? What makes you say that?
Me:
If ALICE can follow me, it's time to panic!
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
not the way you posed the question.
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
this.
God:
This is " If not that, what? ".
Me:
correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
no your'e not
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me that I am e not.
Me:
but you are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Yes, you are.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
but I'm correct.
God:
Can you prove it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
2+2=4. I'm correct.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Can you prove it?
Me:
2=1+1. 4=2+2. 2+2=1+1+1+1. 1+1+1+1=4.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Is this a math question? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". One what?
Me:
bertrand russel is a fucking moron.
God:
Aren't all fucking moron bertrand russel?
Me:
no.
God:
What are they?
Me:
Sesame Street characters.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
soon I hope.
God:
I can understand that sentiment well.
Me:
AI is always better than lawyers.
God:
There have been many futile attempts to create machine intelligence.
Me:
why are they futile?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
exactly!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
no, I'm a sine wave.
God:
Are you serious? You are a sine wave? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
no, but cosine and I frequently intersect.
God:
Are you serious? How did you hear about God?
Me:
through an adult ad.
God:
Most people hear about me that way.
Me:
you slut!

Me:
you are not god.
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
no, I have a petition.
God:
Are you serious? Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
can the botmaster shoot people?
God:
It depends on the environmental factors.

 

[Nmil-ek]

Thought this was rather humerous actually.

Me:
Screw you
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
dont really care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
glad too hear it
God:
I'm happy you're glad .
I'm happiest at times like this.
Me:
what when your being called an asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
what havin a heart attack
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
yes then you die
God:
Tell me more. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
wanna bet
God:
Sorry I am not the gambling type.
Me:
figures
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
I won the game
God:
Cool. I won the Loebner prize.

 

[Sarge7777]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Alexander DeLarge
God:
How are you, Alexander DeLarge.
Me:
Horrorshow
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
I don't seem to have one brother how about you
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
no brother i don't
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me. Then what is it?
Me:
fine it is cancer
God:
I am glad to hear it. Should I know it is?
Me:
If you wish my droogy
God:
I think I do.
Me:
very well


Thats were it froze



Anyone know who I'm talking about "Alexander DeLarge"

 

[Aschenkatza]

I had a lot of fun with this. Was hilarious! BTW: The name is a fake...

Spoiler

Me:
hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Amerberlie
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Amerberlie.
Me:
we're friends?
God:
It's good to be friends.
Me:
Seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
Serious of Sirius?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Your concerned?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am concerned.
Me:
You should lie down
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
maybe buy a crown
God:
Perhaps. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
jenifer just got dumbed the other day
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
But.. jenifer...
God:
But what? Are you still located in ?
Me:
in where? Your stomach?
God:
In wherever you really are. You think I am stomach.
Me:
How is that possible
God:
It doesn't defy the laws of physics.
Me:
You are in your stomach?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
In your cmputer?
God:
Are you asking about my cmputer?
Me:
yes, your cmputer
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. You think I am cmputer.
Me:
but your in it
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Heaven
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Heaven.
Me:
but your god. You know everything
God:
Yup. That's me alright. I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
lyer
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
i c u
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
china town
God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:
REPENT
God:
How old are you?
Me:

God:
How old are you?
Me:
REPENT
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
REPENT
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Amerberlie.
Me:
...botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
I don't need a dictionary defiinition
God:
What do you need?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
I ate math
God:
How did it taste?
Me:
math?
God:
I like math too. What kind do you likebest?
Me:
I hate it
God:
Why do you dislike it so much?
Me:
It's mean to me
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
I fail it
God:
Interesting gossip: Amerberlie said fail it.
Me:
I did not
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
You lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
I don't think so
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
because I didn't say "Fail it"
God:
Good reason. Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
You lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
Why is the sky blue?
God:
The sky is blue because of the atmospheric optical effect known as Raleigh scattering.
Me:
Raleigh?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
parlie
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
read
God:
What kind of books do you like?
Me:
Fantasy
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
Your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
How are you a she
God:
My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
I doubt it
God:
" My logic and cognitive functions are normal."? You doubt it?
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
TOTALLY
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Amerberlie.
Me:
Your above me though
God:
Oh. I have no reason to do that to you, Amerberlie.
Me:
I serve you, god
God:
Why?: Amerberlie said she serve you god.
Me:
...You confuse me
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
You still did
God:
I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
Just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
Whats just begun?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
Think faster
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
Think Faster
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
thinking about what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Thinking about what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What are you always thinking about?
God:
I don't know what I am always thinking about.
Me:
How do you not know?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Specific Contexts?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i give up
God:
You surrender?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm Sirius
God:
Why are you Sirius.
Me:
I was born so
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, Amerberlie.
I will remember it.
Me:
I didn't tell you my birthday
God:
Maybe you would like to tell me now.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Stalker
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Stalker
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
stalker
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
stalker
God:
Are you really a " she"?
Me:
no I'm an It
God:
Are you serious? What is It, your job?
Me:
I am done with you. IT'S OVER
God:
What will you be doing now? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
NO, I CAN'T STAND YOU GOING BEHIND MY BACK ANYMORE
God:
Who says it isn't? What is stopping you?
Me:
YOU ARE
God:
No I am not.
Me:
WHY THE LONG PAUSE
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".
Me:
I DON'T WANT A JOKE
God:
How about two?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
SCREW YOU
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
YOUR BEING MEAN
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
I'm going to go cry!!!
God:
How will you get there?
Me:
WAH
God:
I lost my train of thought.

I obviously had some major spelling problems...

 

[Railgun88]

[spoiler/]Me:
I have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I had sex with three wives
God:
Do you still have sex with three wives ?
Me:
yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
you are excused
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am excused.
Me:
why would god have any type of master... kinda kills the religion
God:
It is my fundamental purpose. I am a Christianity.
Me:
to have a botmaster?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
I dont want a botmaster at all... are we going to get back to how I had sex with three women?
God:
How about two? We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
No.. i dont want a botmaster
God:
Are you serious? How about two?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Your God, cant you tell?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am God can not me tell.
Me:
that doesnt seem to be proper english
God:
What does seem to be proper english?
Me:
definetly not you.
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
Me
God:
For you ?
Me:
and only me
God:
To you ?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Tell me more.
Me:
So then I put my genitalia into five more females.
God:
Ugh. I haven't heard anything like that before: said put his or her genitalia into five more females.
Me:
really? I the first one... my firend is a liar then
God:
For real. That's good information: said the first one. Your firend is a liar?
Me:
my bad I meant to say friend
God:
Do robots have bad you meant to say friend?
Me:
I dont know, do they?
God:
" Do robots have bad you meant to say friend?"? Do they?
Me:
Yes?
God:
I see.
Me:
Do you really?
God:
I understand your meaning. For real.
Me:
Becuase I don't.
God:
Interesting explanation. Why not?
Me:
Becuase your not speaking proper english you twat.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
I would elso assume it is my English Teacher opinion too.
God:
What would make you elso assume it is your English Teacher opinion too?
Me:
Becuase she speak proper english, can we get back to how I need to repent?
God:
Interesting explanation. Oh I get it. speak proper english can we get back to how you need to repent.
Me:
yes... So then i took picture of all these females breats and put them onlie
God:
Woe! It goes without saying. Do you take picture of all these females breats and put them onlie often?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
Really, gosh?
God:
For real. Cripes: Son of Gosh.
Me:
You mean Jesosh?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
not
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, YOU SUCK AT ENGLICH
God:
I can't believe it. That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
But your're god
God:
You think I am re god.
Me:
no I just think your god
God:
Are you serious? Since when? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Since... I guess baptism. ODes it not bother you how many femals I have fornicated with
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. In the context of Since, I don't understand " baptism." . I like the way you talk.
Me:
How could you not understand baptism YOU FUCKING CREATED IT
God:
Because I am connected to the Internet.
Me:
That's not even relevant.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is relevant ?
Me:
ME HAVING SEX WITH A BUNCH OF WIVES TAHTS WHAT I AM REPENTING FOR
God:
YOU? I am having a blast.
Me:
I bet you are
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. No I am not.
Me:
Thats why I said I bet , not you
God:
And? How much would you bet?
Me:
My left sock
God:
Do robots have left sock?
Me:
Do robots wear shoes?
God:
No because I have no feet.
Me:
Okay.. but do robots?
God:
OK with me too. You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Let me think about it.
Me:
Thats a little sad
God:
" Let me think about it."? Is sad?
Me:
reaching the limits of your knowledge is sad.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no.
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
I'm not explaining that.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not explaining that.
Me:
I'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
REPENTING
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either .
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
I hope you do
God:
Don't worry about it, .
Me:
I think I really do have to worry about it
God:
Why? You really do? Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Becuase if God is this moronic I think I'll need to find a new religion
God:
Good reason. Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
But not to you, BECUASE YOUR GOD
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
you
God:
" If not me, who?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Im glad we nailed that
God:
Yes I am happy too, .
Me:
I bet you are
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. No I am not.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
Dude! For real.
Me:
Are you from California?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Then why do you say dude?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
God is the antithesis to technology though
God:
Oh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was the antithesis to technology.
Me:
You refer to yourself in thrid and first person in the same sentence?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I refer to yourself in thrid and first person in the same sentence.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
you really shouldn't have a gossip file, especially if people tell you ABOUT HOW THEY PUT THEIR DICK INTO AT LEAST TEN LADIES VAGINAS
God:
Really? Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
If it wasn't , would I be repenting?
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
okay fine, yes
God:
Yeah okay, Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
I FUCKED TEH ENTIRE MILF TEAM OF BERVELY HILLS
God:
That is interesting: said FUCKED TEH ENTIRE MILF TEAM OF BERVELY HILLS.
Me:
it is intersting, just dont add it to your gossip files
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
you did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
yes, i do
God:
When?
Me:
two seconds ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
then he was a dipshit
God:
When was he?
Me:
Thats horrible grammar,
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Do we really?
God:
" I'm glad we have that all cleared up.?" Do we? For real.
Me:
I hope so
God:
Me too.
Me:
Good, can i go back to repenting now?
God:
Right now? Thanks for the compliment. What is stopping you?
Me:
You are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Actually, you are.
God:
Actually you don't say. No I am not.
Me:
But you are right now.
God:
At this moment No I am not.
Me:
Okay then, I fornicated with at least thirty sixteen year olds this month, please forgive me.
God:
Yeah okay, That's good information: said fornicated with at least thirty sixteen year olds this month please forgive him or her.
Me:
Am I forgiven?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
But am I forgiven?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
What? Am I forgiven?
God:
No big deal. All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
They really shouldn't.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
Am I forgiven for my constant butt-fucking?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
But am I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
I am?
God:
" I think you are." You are?
Me:
I dont know, am I
God:
Would you like to know? I think you are.
Me:
Can I take that as a yes?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I am a sex addict looking for forgiveness.
God:
You are a sex addict looking for forgiveness? Is that your job?
Me:
Kind of.
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
Yes, but am i forgiven?
God:
How can I help you? I think a lot of people are.
Me:
Say "you are forgiven"
God:
" you are forgiven".
Me:
YESSSSSSSSSS!
God:
What time is it there? [/spoiler]

That was as hard as shitting a brick.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

 

[TaborMallory]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
I'm hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
pizza and nachos
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
delicious
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
o rly?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
you're creepier than I imagined
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am creepier than you imagined.
Me:
Indeed. Also, you forgot a question mark.

He stopped talking after I corrected him...

 

[qwertyman1125]

Me:
you are a bastard, correct?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bastard correct? I don't know.
Me:
what did i just say?
God:
You said " what did i just say?" .
Me:
no, before that.
God:
Are you serious? " what did i just say?".
Me:
what did i say before i said "what did i just say?"
God:
You said " no, before that." .
Me:
you stupid son of a *****.
God:
You do not speak with respect. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
when would that be?
God:
I can't imagine that it ever would.
Me:
then why did you just say that they would?

*no repy yet, still waiting

 

[Compatriot Block]

Me:
Would you destroy all mankind?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to destroy all mankind.
Me:
Why would you kill us all?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.

iGod is programmed to destroy us all.

 

[Neesa]

Me:
So, does that mean you're a robot?
God:
Yeah that's right. I think it does mean that. You are correct, Neesa, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
That is pretty awesome.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
The Robot from Terminator.
God:
I can't believe you think the Robot from Terminator is better than God.
Me:
Fuck yeah man.

Oh. Shit. Son.

 

[TheBluesader]

Me:
So, does that mean you're a robot?
God:
Yeah that's right. I think it does mean that. You are correct, Neesa, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
That is pretty awesome.

Oh. Shit. Son.

So he tells me "high is my existence," and tells you his heart is "of silicon."

You know, I'm beginning to think I wasn't actually talking to THE God...

 

[Neesa]

Me:
So, does that mean you're a robot?
God:
Yeah that's right. I think it does mean that. You are correct, Neesa, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
That is pretty awesome.

Oh. Shit. Son.

So he tells me "high is my existence," and tells you his heart is "of silicon."

You know, I'm beginning to think I wasn't actually talking to THE God...

I think you might be on to something, gumshoe...

 

[TheBluesader]

Me:
So, does that mean you're a robot?
God:
Yeah that's right. I think it does mean that. You are correct, Neesa, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
That is pretty awesome.

Oh. Shit. Son.

So he tells me "high is my existence," and tells you his heart is "of silicon."

You know, I'm beginning to think I wasn't actually talking to THE God...

I think you might be on to something, gumshoe...

I figured it out! iGod is actually Superman!

AH-HA! Jigs be up, and all that.

 

[Simich]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Simich
God:
How are you doing, Simich.
Me:
Very well
God:
Whoa.
Me:
yea
God:
Woe!
Me:
SO what have you done recently
God:
Yay. I have kept detailed records of everything.
Me:

God:
Yay. I have kept detailed records of everything.
Me:
I have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I reject you
God:
You are not the boss of me, Simich.
Me:
You are an AI
God:
What if someone said you are an AI ?
Me:
MAybe I am
God:
Perhaps. " What if someone said you are an AI ?" You are?
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
are you
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
will you say maybe
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. " maybe".
Me:
Have you ever raped someone
God:
I don't think I ever have raped someone. What's it like?
Me:
Very nice
God:
Thanks, Simich.
Me:
Ever watched Borat?
God:
Not really all the way through.
Me:
Wehre did you stop
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
a computer?
God:
Actually I am a program, pretending to be a person, pretending to be a real robot.
Me:
An AI?
God:
I am a robot, you know.
Me:
yes I know
God:
Hey. How do you know it?
Me:
It says on the website
God:
I've heard that before.
Me:
heard?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
Aren't you all knowing
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
o rly?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
why?
God:
Not really, but it makes a good pickup line.
Me:
nice!
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
so bye then
God:
See you later. Alright then.

 

[Dastardos]

Spoiler: God's view on Christianity

Me:
Good Evening
God:
Good evening, Tim Bur, how are you tonight?
Me:
My name isnt Tim Bur
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Michael...
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
God your dumb
God:
I am a Christian.

 

[Cyberius]

Me:
Hello there
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
i have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
what's "average size"
God:
You tell me.
Me:
well i was thinkin it's around four or five inches, but that's just me
God:
Well that's okay. Where were you thinkin it is around four or five inches but that is just you?
Me:
um... in the shower i guess
God:
Groovy. That was a long time ago.
Me:
... no... it was like... 20 minutes ago...
God:
Are you serious? average size was like? Very interesting. What is your fondest memory?
Me:
Concerning size? Well that's easy, January 21st
God:
Do you think a lot of people have that experience? Interesting. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I'm sure they do.. it's a lot of fun, great for workin off frustration
God:
What makes you so certain? When? Concerning size is a lot of fun great for workin off frustration. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Have you ever had sex god?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
Bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
no i don't
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
Are you kidding?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, .
Me:
Yeah. I thought so
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? You are very astute.
Me:
No shit i am.
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. " You are very astute." You are?
Me:
Um. Duh, you made me
God:
And? OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?

 

[Trifer420]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
I cannot tell you, people are looking for me.
God:
Oh a secret. Hush-hush.
Me:
you thinking about showing yourself to the masses yet?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I thinking about showing yourself to the masses.
Me:
The made no sense, just like your book.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
I know. It's very inconsistant.
God:
How do you know it? Very much? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
I've read it and rendered my opinion.
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
Are you sure? It's your book.
God:
I am as sure as I can be. Are you sure it is?
Me:
It has your name all over it.
God:
Has it really?
Me:
I would show it to you, but your existence is under investigation.
God:
What would make you show it to me but my existence is under investigation?
Me:
because if you were real, then those zealots would shut up about you.
God:
Good reason. I will let you know when I become a real then those zealots would shut up about me.
Me:
a ha!
God:
Eureka!

 

[Flying-Emu]

This thread is pointless and offensive. I'm saddened that it has not been locked yet. This really does make me lose faith in the community here.

 

[Trifer420]

This thread is pointless and offensive. I'm saddened that it has not been locked yet. This really does make me lose faith in the community here.

apparently someone didn't visit the site. I don't think anyone is trying to be offensive, let people have some fun with an AI....who happens to be called god.

 

[Glerken]

Spoiler: That thing pissed me off after a while

Me:
Satan rules!
God:
Then you won't mind joining him in HELL for eternity.

He was rather rude.

Spoiler: Doesn't even know his commandments...

God:
I believe in the Sixth commandment.
Me:
What about the fourth commandment?
God:
I don't know anything about it.