In My Defense...

[Pm0n3y]

in my defense i think monkeys are overrated and decided to trash it

you stole my heart!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I did replace yours with a mechanical one. Not like I left you to die.

You hijacked my car! And drove off a bridge!

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense you didn't exactly have any measures to stop me hijacking it. and the bridge... it was my first time driving. i think i did quite well.

you murdered a relative who was visiting you.

 

[Tiny1337]

In my defense she was a ***** and she had it coming.

You sniped that sheep.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was damned hilarious!
Did you see it? It exploded!
Sigh. I love .50 calibers.

You didn't laugh as hard as I did!

 

[Pm0n3y]

in my defense i find kicking chickens far more hilarious

You played L4D2 before it came out!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense I couldn't wait to kill more zombies.

You purposely got us lost!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I wanted to explore.

You stole my fan.

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense it's -30 degrees in the room. It had to be done.

You destroyed my flowers!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, they were leaking poisonous fumes into the air!

You didn't keep up with the Joneses!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense I really really really hate them.

You gave me sickle cell anemia.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you asked if life could get any worse. I wanted to prove a point.

You made a horrible rollercoaster and overcharged for it!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense people who pay for a roller-coaster named The Tickler deserve to be scammed.

You beat up Betty White!

 

[Pm0n3y]

in my defense hearing her Peterotica book on tape made my dick go limp. then i decided she had to pay

you slaughtered a lamb!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense it was the only way to silence them.

You stole my superpowers from me.

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense it owuld have started an unhelathy chain of bad eating habits.

You broke my calculator!

 

[Metric Monkey]

In my defense, you could do math on your own.

You broke my two legs then stole the wheelchair I needed!

 

[NeoAC]

In my defense, I was too lazy to walk, and I warned you before, Mr. Petruzelli doesn't like to be kept waiting for his money.

You killed the radio star!

 

[EvilJoe1]

In my defense he was hardly a "star"

You made Yahtzee get fired!!! >:[