Irn Bru!

[AgentLampshade]

I think I'm the only Scottish person on the planet who doesn't like the stuff. Tastes like two angry people fighting.

 

[SwimmingRock]

See?

And cows never lie.

Never.

I have never had the supreme privilege of trying Irn Bru, as it's not available in my country and I can't afford to take a trip to Scotland. However, I feel it is of the utmost importance that I contact you, brother Clarion, to warn you of grave danger. Having grown up on a farm and known many animals (not known in the Bibilical sense, ofcourse. I don't fuck animals. I just talk to them and they talk back) I must warn you that the cows have you fooled.

Don't misunderstand. Cows are neither evil nor intentionally deceitful. However, being an inherently lazy species, they will always take the path of least resistance in conversation. This involves lying, half-truths or saying what the other wants to hear simply to avoid arguments. They won't even bother putting in the effort to go to a library and research a topic of discussion. They'll just wing it and make up whatever sounds plausible or pleasing to their conversational partners ear.

Dogs can be trusted. Sheep slightly less so as they are not malicious, but tend to have a hidden agenda. Cows are simply untrustworthy. To their credit, though, they're nowhere near the levels of pure evil caged in the flesh-bags we call horses. Fuck horses.

 

[F'Angus]

I agree, Irn Bru is the bomb... my bin is full of empty Irn Bru bottles .

 

[Dessembrae]

When you think of Scotland, what comes to mind first?

Kilts?

Sean Connery?

Haggis?

What comes to my mind is Sean Connery wearing a kilt while eating a haggis and drinking Irn Bru.

Scottish enough? ;P

 

[Trotgar]

That stuff is very scarcely available in where I live, which saddens me greatly (it's also a lot more expensive here, but that doesn't matter, it's always worth the price).

Seriously, the next time I'll be visiting Scotland I shall be bringing lots of that stuff back with me.

Also, this thread is awesome. Except it made me yearn for Irn Bru again.

Damn you, Daystar!

 

[Ambitiousmould]

i actually could never imagine living in an area deprived of Irn Bru, isn't that like against human rights or something? i think a charity is on order. a charity to provide people with the Bru the world over.

 

[Garfy]

Irn Bru has to be drunk quickly, it's divine power fades fast and flat it's awful.

What amazing British food is next? I suggest pickled onion Monster Munch.

 

[Superior Mind]

If the only liquid produce you drink from Scotland isn't scotch whisky then you're wasting everybody's time. Now fuck off.

 

[RustlessPotato]

Don't be mad because of the snip !
]

Mr. Clarion, I search your wisdom and inquire information about this Bru. It sounds like it is a beverage casted straight down from the gods, It looks like pure energy from the Sun! Releasing this to the unprepared world surely will cause it to collapse, no ?

Oh how I long to taste this Bru, but I fear it would be to much for my weak mortal body. Surely only the Chosen Ones could stomach the Bru. If only I could, if only I could. How does one expose themselves to the Bru for the first time and be sure it will not kill them ?

 

[Robert Ewing]

Irn Bru is Scotlands single greatest export, next to whiskey, and those fake ginger sideburns.

 

[The Funslinger]

Daystar I think you'll find this is the greatest beverage in the omniverse, Irn Bru's retarded cousin that is sweat from the pits of Lucifer himself.

RED KOLA

The Anti-Bru has reared it's ugly head.

Prepare yourselves men...

It's cheaper than Irn Bru by one pence *Evil laugh*

Is it anything like Big Red? Because I'd like to put that up as America's entry in the nectar of the gods contest. It may not be as well known as most coke, pepsi, or heck, Royal Crown products, but who can say no to bubblegum flavored soda?

I really want to try that...

 

[Lethos]

It's disgusting D:
It tastes too damn sugary.

 

[Baneat]

Irn Bru? IRN BRU? [HEADING=1]IRN BRU???[/HEADING]

What is this, the peasant forum? Take your filthy commoner drink and get out of my sight you mangy curs! No true man of class would ever be caught quenching their thirst on such a lowly beverage!

It's not a class, it's the drink of the proletariat! Basically, if there's a white van in scotland without at least an empty glass bottle of irn bru kicking about, then it hasn't been sold yet. To be honest, I think buying a ford transit comes with glass bottles.

 

[Superior Mind]

Irn Bru sounds like a slightly different version of lemonade, I haven't tried it but all I can tell in its description is that it's "citrus-y". All in all it's the same sugary syrupy shit that's passed off everywhere else, there's just national pride backing it up. We have something like it here in NZ called L&P. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just a soft drink but it's "our" soft drink which clearly makes it better than anything else. Right?

I'd be willing to wager that Irn Bru tastes a lot like L&P despite it's different colour, I'll be sure to look around for some and let you know.

 

[Baneat]

I'd be willing to wager that Irn Bru tastes a lot like L&P despite it's different colour, I'll be sure to look around for some and let you know.

I'll tell you the closest thing possible to Irn Bru is tutti frutti. And even that doesn't come close.

Irn Bru tastes like Irn Bru

 

[Meight08]

Irn bru tastes like shit!
*Jumps into flame-bunker*

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

Is it sad that the only two things I know about Scotland are Bill Hicks' mention of the place and this guy?

Spoiler: Gotta love the Big Yin

That, and Braveheart obviously...

 

[CobraX]

A friend introduced me to the glory Of Irn Bru and it's hilarious commercials around 3 years back. Now I buy it from a local import shop (I'm in Canada) whenever I can. The stuff is so good, I pity anyone who hasn't had it before...The poor damned souls.

 

[White-Death]

Sweet bollock shitting Jesus, How did I miss a Daystar Clarion thread about my 2nd most favorite liquid consumable of all time?!(My First being tea, naturally.)
I'm lucky enough to live on the border of Northern Ireland, where Irn Bru is common, but I live on the south side of the town, where there is no Irn Bru for me.
However, my school is on the North side of the Northern border town(Confuzzling, I know.) Where the Shops are stocked with All of Irn Bru's Irn Bru-ee goodness.
Every Wednesday & Every Friday, I pop down to the local shop at lunch to refill my stash of Irn bru, The shop sells about 12 cans for about ?1.60.(Gotta love the Lunchtime rush Discounts)So my Irn Bru supply is plentiful.Right now I'm drinking the remains of a small can while a cup of Earl Grey is born.Sometimes, when I'm in for a REAL MANLY night, I get me a con of Irn Bru, some extra dry Scawtish shawrtbread, an have a marathon of..
My little pony.


Sometimes I hate being a Brony...

But no matter! I love Irn Bru, fuck Coca Cola and their Chemical laced bullshit!
Daystar, I must commend you on your excellent OP structure, as always, hats off to you.

 

[A Weakgeek]

The only true drink is Euro shopper energy drink, or known here in finland as: Eeässä

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