Is 18 too young to be bitter?

[ZeroMachine]

snip

Yeah, it was a generalization, I didn't have a particularly harsh time of it, but a friend of mine lost his home, got his first real exposure to weed and alcohol, and swapped his major about 3 times all in one year. So I can see where my professor is coming from.

But you're right that it is all individual, what one person finds debilitating another may have no trouble with. I'm just hitting the 'Is this what I really want to do?' issue and I'm not nearly as concerned as I probably should be.

S'all true. My situation with the girl I mentioned in my original post is a bit similar to what your friend went through at that age... didn't lose a home, and (crossing my fingers) isn't getting into drugs, but trust me, I wasn't trying to lessen anything going on.

And hell, don't worry, you'll figure out what you want to do eventually.

Dude, I'm 20. And btw not stupid. Most people I know would say I'm very smart. I don't wanna be arrogant, but wait I do want to arrogant if I say, I know about stuff. I've done some things, people won't ever do in their lives and blablabla. But you know, if you're a realist, you must have come to the realization that life is shit. It may be a big and proud shit, with diamonds sprinkled all over it, but it's still shit. I'm doing my A-levels now, then I'll do my military service and after that I'll study computer science, but I still know that I will have to work till I'm old and ugly, that chicks won't ever find you sexually attractive as long as you are a nice guy(yes, all of you are going to argue over that point and tell me some bullshit about how that's not true and how I'm generalizing and blablabla, but trust me: I've seen it gazillions of times; If you're nice, they think you're weak, and if you're weak, then it's no pussy for you, mister.), that you can not trust anyone except yourself and that friends will never last forever. Also, your youth is kinda limited and by 30 you're an old man in todays world. Ah yes and on top of that everything that could like the stress is banned in most countries. And most people are stupid pricks who deserve to die a painful death. And everything is becoming more and more shitty: movies, books, games, television, education, healthcare, the list goes on. So my point is: You do have every reason to be bitter, if you're not bitter, you're either rich, stupid or just too easily satisfied.

I have no respect for people like you. Your pathetic view on life is your own fault.

I don't care about what you've experienced. If you really think that the only reason people can be happy with their lives are those three reasons, you need help.

EDIT: And if you're that smart, explain your atrocious grammar. I'm no grammar nazi, but if I see someone claiming to be smart that types like that, I have to point it out.

 

[ActionDan]

I was bitter at 15. I blame Secondary School.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Also:

I don't know if it's a relationship thing that's made you that bitter, but even if it isn't, take this to heart. Learn patience. If you keep trying to force whatever little bit of happiness you can, you could damn well push it away, and turn bitter. If you just get on with life and learn to wait, it could come to you.

Reading that brought this quote to mind:

"Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."

From my glass-half-empty point of view, it's so true haha

For someone who claims not to be bitter, that is one of the most bitter and pessimistic things I've ever heard.

I dont think its that bitter or resentful really. I thought being bitter is something you feel as a result of a wrong thats been done to you, or an injustice or humiliation, none of which has really happened to me on a noticable scale. I jsut think that something rings true about that statement to an extent. Its just saying that being patient is sitting there waiting for things to happen to you instead of making them happen.

Sure its not the most cheerful turn of phrase, but I've gotta say that the whole attitude of "oh well I deserve something good, so if I'm patient and sit it out something will come along one day" is pretty desperate.

That's just my interpretation of it, you're more then welcome to your own of course

Ok, I guess I misread what you were talking about, my apologies. I wasn't saying that you don't work towards happiness. What I meant was that sometimes you just need to wait for it to come to you while working to improve other facets of your life.

With my situation right now, trying to force things to happen faster will only push the person I care most about in this world further away. She said she needs time, and she's doing things DRASTICALLY out of character, and I'm worried sick about her, so I was trying up until a couple days ago to get her to talk to me and explain what's happening. But that quote I put in there made me realize: sometimes all you can do is give it time.

Patience is a virtue, and I will defend that to the end now. But to sit there and do absolutely nothing is stupid. Be patient while waiting for that right moment to come along, and just prepare yourself for it in the mean time. See what I was getting at now?

 

[Wadders]

Also:

I don't know if it's a relationship thing that's made you that bitter, but even if it isn't, take this to heart. Learn patience. If you keep trying to force whatever little bit of happiness you can, you could damn well push it away, and turn bitter. If you just get on with life and learn to wait, it could come to you.

Reading that brought this quote to mind:

"Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."

From my glass-half-empty point of view, it's so true haha

For someone who claims not to be bitter, that is one of the most bitter and pessimistic things I've ever heard.

I dont think its that bitter or resentful really. I thought being bitter is something you feel as a result of a wrong thats been done to you, or an injustice or humiliation, none of which has really happened to me on a noticable scale. I jsut think that something rings true about that statement to an extent. Its just saying that being patient is sitting there waiting for things to happen to you instead of making them happen.

Sure its not the most cheerful turn of phrase, but I've gotta say that the whole attitude of "oh well I deserve something good, so if I'm patient and sit it out something will come along one day" is pretty desperate.

That's just my interpretation of it, you're more then welcome to your own of course

Ok, I guess I misread what you were talking about, my apologies. I wasn't saying that you don't work towards happiness. What I meant was that sometimes you just need to wait for it to come to you while working to improve other facets of your life.

With my situation right now, trying to force things to happen faster will only push the person I care most about in this world further away. She said she needs time, and she's doing things DRASTICALLY out of character, and I'm worried sick about her, so I was trying up until a couple days ago to get her to talk to me and explain what's happening. But that quote I put in there made me realize: sometimes all you can do is give it time.

Patience is a virtue, and I will defend that to the end now. But to sit there and do absolutely nothing is stupid. Be patient while waiting for that right moment to come along, and just prepare yourself for it in the mean time. See what I was getting at now?

Yes, I now see what you're getting at, my bad, I interpreted what you were saying before incorrectly. I most certainly agree that pushing things rarely helps, but one should not be inactive with regards to what one wants in life, waiting for it isnt enough, one must work towards it. But yeah, if working towards sorting your current situation out means that you have to give it time and be patient, then so be it, if it helps you get what you want in the end

I hope that made sense

 

[Jaythulhu]

When I was 20, I considered myself bitter, jaded and fully versed in what to expect from the world. Soon enough I turned 30 and realised that when I was 20, I was completely full of shit and had no fucking idea what I was talking about. At this point in my life I'm comfortable with saying that everything I thought and believed when I was in my teens and early to late 20s was a load of crap, and I actually knew jack shit.

Sounds trite now, but it will happen to all of you. Seriously, the only people who are truly bitter are those over 70. What you think is bad now, what you believe makes you bitter and cynical now, you'll laugh at soon enough, and laugh at those younger than you when they spout the same things.

Really, people under 30 exist for one reason: To look better than people over 30. So strike a pose and shush, you'll find out what life is truly like soon enough, and then what you think is bitter now will seem like sunshine and roses.

 

[Dastardly]

I just realised after 18 straight hours of doing little more than read and generally be broody, i am a very bitter person deep down. The phrase "Why bother you'll just get fucked over again" has sprung to mind many a time.
Anywho my question still stands. Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?
Thoughts, Comments, Criticism's and STFU you mopey shit's are all welcome

It's just reality shock.

You start out as a child with very few worries or cares in the world... you become an adolescent that worries about all sorts of trivial things (that don't feel trivial at the time)... but you keep working because all of your learning has built a belief system into you that tells you:

1. Try hard enough, and you'll succeed.
2. Good things happen to good people.
3. "Fairness" is a real thing, and someone out there is keeping tabs on it.

We're taught this by our parents and teachers, by the stories we read, and just by the nature of our simple and uninformed existence as children. Then we become "adults," in the technical sense.

And we quickly realize that those rules? They're highly suspect. Sometimes trying hard doesn't guarantee success. Sometimes good things don't happen at all, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. And fairness? Yeah. It only exists if it's enforced, and it's only selectively enforced--usually by those people in power whom fairness most benefits at that particular moment.

It's not that the world is all bad. It's that when we first discover the world really isn't all good, there's a bit of shock and disappointment. Now, we all know, academically, that the world isn't all good... but it's another thing to experience it. Shifting your image of the world from "perfect" to "imperfect" is a much bigger leap than it sounds. There's a big difference between 99% and 100%. That 1% is a sudden, stark realization that there could even be other things that don't line up with what we believed (or want to believe) about life, and we're suddenly facing the unknown and feeling ill-equipped to handle it.

You've been staring your whole life at this magical gate leading to Adulthood, which we equate to the power of self-determination. When we're grown-ups, it'll mean we've arrived. You'll call the shots, do what you like, follow your dreams, all of that. Then you finally get to the gate and realize there's an admission fee... and normal business hours... and the rides you want to ride are really, really crowded, and sometimes they're broken... and just getting a goddamned drink is like, what, eight bucks?

Point is, if you give that shock a chance to wear off, it gets better.

 

[endnuen]

Tough it out.
Your twenties will be legendary in all kinds of ways

 

[jspheonix]

18 is still a teenager, and teenagers are bitter. Not trying to start a flame war here but I was bitter round that age (mind you I am still only 20 xD), its the kindof 'lost innocence' stage. Truth is some people have real reasons to be bitter, everyone has at least one, but what is the point? Life is for living guys. (Did anybody else cringe from the cheese?! )

 

[bobknowsall]

Well, if you've never really experienced much suffering, then you've no real reason to be bitter, regardless of age.

 

[Deviltongue]

Is 18 too young he says. I was bitter by age 11. No age is too young to be bitter.

 

[Jaythulhu]

Is 18 too young he says. I was bitter by age 11. No age is too young to be bitter.

Bullshit. Pure and simple.

If you're 18, younger, or slightly older and consider yourself bitter, try going out and getting a job where you have to work 60 or more hours a week, for a boss who's got less humanity than Vader, to pay for the mortgage, rates, food, electricity, water, clothing, books, toys, trips, health insurance, school for two little shits who'd rather play video games and carry on about how much their life sucks (without a partner mind you), on top of looking after your elderly parents and dealing with the constant crap from the whinging bitching and moaning consumers who frequent your workplace.

Or ask your parents about how great their life has been since you showed up.

Then you fuckin' come back to me and tell me how "bitter and cynical" you are.

 

[assassinslover]

I'm in the same boat as you, mate. I've basically been bitter since I was 17 and it's only gotten worse. It's not depression or anything like that, it's just annoyance and pessimism and not really finding enough cause to believe in the human population for various reasons.

 

[loc978]

Nah. I was pretty bitter at 18. I'm a little less bitter now at 29... but only because I've grown a thicker skin since then. Now the quote reads:
"Well, I'm probably just going to get fucked over anyway... but I might as well try. Nothing better to do."

 

[Retardinator]

By the time you're 18 you should realize you're not supposed to care. I stopped caring two years ago and my life has become much better since then.

 

[Blondi3]

I've been bitter, cynical, and depressed most of my late teen life. It's only getting worse. It started around umm...I don't even remember tbh. I'm 21 atm. It's all I know xD

 

[2733]

at 18 your're actually in just the right spot to be bitter, you should realize that your life doesn't suck as much as you think by 20 and be totally okay by 22 or so.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

@Jaythulu: Ironic, that your statement seems to be the most actively hostile in retort to a rather generic comment. Maybe you're the one who's in more dire need of being mollified.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

Bitterness is a heuristic for perceiving the world and processing your experiences.

Sure, knock yourself out.

Do me a favor though - continue to experience the world, and continue to process your experiences.

The things you are bitter about might not always be there. Even if they are, it is better that you know WHY you are bitter, than to be bitter for some ambiguous perceivable reason.

 

[Cobbs]

I just realised after 18 straight hours of doing little more than read and generally be broody, i am a very bitter person deep down. The phrase "Why bother you'll just get fucked over again" has sprung to mind many a time.
Anywho my question still stands. Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?
Thoughts, Comments, Criticism's and STFU you mopey shit's are all welcome

It's just reality shock.

You start out as a child with very few worries or cares in the world... you become an adolescent that worries about all sorts of trivial things (that don't feel trivial at the time)... but you keep working because all of your learning has built a belief system into you that tells you:

1. Try hard enough, and you'll succeed.
2. Good things happen to good people.
3. "Fairness" is a real thing, and someone out there is keeping tabs on it.

We're taught this by our parents and teachers, by the stories we read, and just by the nature of our simple and uninformed existence as children. Then we become "adults," in the technical sense.

And we quickly realize that those rules? They're highly suspect. Sometimes trying hard doesn't guarantee success. Sometimes good things don't happen at all, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. And fairness? Yeah. It only exists if it's enforced, and it's only selectively enforced--usually by those people in power whom fairness most benefits at that particular moment.

It's not that the world is all bad. It's that when we first discover the world really isn't all good, there's a bit of shock and disappointment. Now, we all know, academically, that the world isn't all good... but it's another thing to experience it. Shifting your image of the world from "perfect" to "imperfect" is a much bigger leap than it sounds. There's a big difference between 99% and 100%. That 1% is a sudden, stark realization that there could even be other things that don't line up with what we believed (or want to believe) about life, and we're suddenly facing the unknown and feeling ill-equipped to handle it.

You've been staring your whole life at this magical gate leading to Adulthood, which we equate to the power of self-determination. When we're grown-ups, it'll mean we've arrived. You'll call the shots, do what you like, follow your dreams, all of that. Then you finally get to the gate and realize there's an admission fee... and normal business hours... and the rides you want to ride are really, really crowded, and sometimes they're broken... and just getting a goddamned drink is like, what, eight bucks?

Point is, if you give that shock a chance to wear off, it gets better.

You should be a motivational speaker of some description.

 

[SovietSecrets]

Not too young, but it does take some of the fun out of life.