Is 18 too young to be bitter?

[DonMartin]

I think we should look at this in another way.

What is "bitter"? Is this for some reason a continuous emotion or mindset?

Could it be that calling ourselves "bitter" is just an excuse? Just something we can say to catalogize ourselves, to say "Alright, Im bitter. That's What I Am", and then stop thinking about it? Accepting it?

I think it seems far more reasonable to accept bitterness as an emotion: Temporary. I believe all emotions are temporary. Even falling in love with someone at first sight only to live your entire life with that very person is temporary. It's not always been there, and even at times when you know you love, you may doubt it. That is what I choose to call temporary: Anything that is not permanent.

This problem seems so common. Us, young people, considering ourselves unhappy, because we're using one word as our defining characteristic; Im BITTER. Im DEPRESSED. Im ASOCIAL.

I have my experiences with bitterness, depression and sadness. Since two years back Ive been diagnosed with OCD and Cyclothymia. And when I first found out about my illness, I made the mistake of defining myself with it. "Alright," I thought, "Im depressed and a mentally unstable person."

But I came to realize that sadness only exists if you allow it to exist. Sometimes I suppose you even have to. This also applies to being "Bitter".

I mean, just look at the title of this thread. "Is 18 too young to be bitter?"

Immediately, I get the impression youre ASKING if you can be bitter, if youre allowed to be bitter. That's just strange. It's as if we assume that there is one permanent emotion in life. A life of Love. A Life of Sadness. A Life of anger. In our pursuit of a good life and a life we enjoy, we are sometimes so desperate or afraid that we wont find the life we're looking for, which is unrealistic, that we settle for one single emotion. Or, atleast one main emotion. Such as bitterness.

Life should rather be seen as a continuous flow of moments, each one with their individual truth and emotion. Day one, I am happy because I kissed my girlfriend. Day two, I am unhappy because me and my girlfriend got into a fight. Even people who find safety and familiarity in calling themselves lonely are unable to escape the fact that life isnt rigid: Life is like truth, always changing. Day one, I am happy because I enjoy being single. Day two, I am sad because I sleep alone in my bed.

Nowadays it annoys me that people call themselves bitter or asocial as their primary characteristic. They dont need to. Calling yourself one particular emotion is just a waste of time, a temporary solution to a temporary problem, and not even a particularily good one. This works the other way too: A man should not consider himself happy. It will just make him question whether or not he is. Trying to lead a fixed life leads to uncertainty and insecurity. Leading a life where you adapt, and accept the different emotions that are thrown at you every day seems to me a lot more reasonable.


Look, its late and Im tired... Not sure if i got everything i wanted to say written down. hopefully, you'll understand my point of view nevertheless.

EDIT: A cynic, of course, understands a part of this. He looks at life critically and judges what he can.

However, he is still not free of that particular mindset. He has still chosen to call himself a cynic, or a critic. And that removes some of his freedom. A cynic is a person too attached to the old idea of a rigid life of one truth, to accept the newer idea of life as a continuous stream of moments and truths, too attatched to completely let those old ideals go. As a result, he might live the same life of someone who has accepted and embraced the new idea, but still he is not completely free, since he considers himself a cynic. He is trying to achieve formlessness through form, which is impossible.

At least, that's what I think.

 

[Geekosaurus]

This is the internet. You can be as depressed as you like at whatever ever you like.

 

[SulfuricDonut]

I think that during childhood and adolescence is when a person goes through the quickest changes in life, so generally have a lot of stuff going on.

Also, when you're young is when you create your own view of the world and if you've taken shit from everyone then it's going to turn into a pretty bitter view indeed. I think it takes longer for adults to change their opinions of the world than it does for teenagers to do so, and so your experiences when you are younger have a larger impact on your views.

I'm 18 and I am equally bitter, however during my brooding I've thought about it quite extensively to come to that simple conclusion.

 

[Exterminas]

The world can be a shitty place at any age.

Allthought people in your age have a habit of seeing things worse than they actually are. It's a natural thing.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Hm... maybe if its someting big. If someone walked up and shot your dog in the head, I'm pretty sure that gives you a good reason to be bitter. Other then that, I think every age is too young to be bitter.

 

[adakias]

I know a lot of people who throw themselves around like they have a hole in their head just because some jerk picked on them in high school. They call themselves bitter. I hope that something as simple as that hasn't jaded you, because I can't imagine what real life is going to do to you.

I don't know what goes on in your lives, so this is mostly conjecture, but I'm willing to bet that most of you aren't bitter.

You're just bored.

 

[VanityGirl]

When you're 18, that ain't being bitter, that's angst.

That one line could easily /thread is topic.

Why be so bitter when you're so young? Go out, get smashed and make friends. Life's too short to be bitter.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Not at all. I'm 21, and I've been a very bitter person since I was 19. I try to hide it in public, for everyone else's sake, but inside and in my private life, I make Sweeney Todd look cheerful. I don't have any specific problems (none that everyone my age hasn't gone through, at least), but I'm just not as good at letting go of stuff as other people are, I suppose.

 

[Zio666]

Depends on your experiances in life. I feel everything I do fucks me over so I guess I'm pretty bitter too.

 

[spartan231490]

I just realised after 18 straight hours of doing little more than read and generally be broody, i am a very bitter person deep down. The phrase "Why bother you'll just get fucked over again" has sprung to mind many a time.
Anywho my question still stands. Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?
Thoughts, Comments, Criticism's and STFU you mopey shit's are all welcome

I'm pretty sure I was "bitter," by your definition, at the age of 12. I don't think you have much to worry about. How can anything be wrong with you? your just being a realist.

 

[Demongeneral109]

feel free to angst, but don't let it consume you, as long as your little corner of the world is O.K everything else just comes together.

and now, because its kinda mandatory on this kind of thread

 

[Uncreation]

Age doesn't necesarrily have anything to do with it. Anyone can be bitter, no matter his/her age.

Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?

I think if you're bitter at age 18, or younger, you probably have very very little reason to be.
Unless you were molested, abused, or have some type of clinically diagnosed (Not self diagnosed) psychosis or something, you have no reason to be bitter. Most 'bitter' kids I see have had very very little real life experience, and are basing all of their angst and mopey attitude on what happens in school. Which is, for lack of a better term, utterly moronic.

I'm 26, have so much left to experience that you can only experience though age, and am absolutely loving life. I was bitter when I was a teen, but that's because I was a dumb-ass teen who thought he knew everything (Like most teens). You grow up, though, and realize that life is pretty kick-ass.

I've also found that when you're just generally happy, the bad things aren't so bad.
But when you're a bitter pessimist, the good things don't seem so good.

I, for one, choose happiness.

Funny, i'm 25 and my life hardly "kicks ass". Hell, i was better off 2-3-4 years ago.

 

[Bravo 21]

well I used to be cynical, but then i decided whenever faced with a problem that I couldn't overcome, to say to myself, "F**k this s**t, Im F**king Awesome, and don't need to take this crap." As you can guess, i am both loud, and swear like a sailor. (censored on a second though, though you know what i mean)

 

[Delritho]

I'm bitter at not being bitter. Wait....YAY! Wait again....BOO! /etc


Not really bitter at 20. Cynical? Maybe a little. Apathetic? Again, maybe a little. Bitter? Not really.

I mean really, I'm 20 and male. How much suckiness in my life is not my main train of thought. I'll give you three guesses as to what is.

 

[The Small Cheese]

Don't lose hope; many teens feel that way, hell, even I do! Something thst's helped me (other than damaging my inner ear with loud music) is to not look at past events with bitterness. Life's tough, and it's your right to be pissed and angry, but at the end of the day, you can tune out all the good life brings so that your cynicism becomes a self-fufilling prophecy, or you can have a more balenced view of the world.

anyway, if you want to feel better now, the call up your parents, or friends, or even a help line. Being listened to and having your emotions validated can do wonders, even if they won't objectively change a thing.

 

[jack583]

nope

 

[springheeljack]

I think if your bitter at 18 you need a damn good reason to be
I mean if your in your 40s or 60s or older and bitter as shit then its kinda understandable you might have a lot of things to bitter about but 18? nah..

 

[Skoldpadda]

It's perfectly normal to be all angsty and bitter at that age, but it's also utterly utterly wrong.

I was a bitter little shit at that age, and now that I'm 31, and actually have to struggle through life, as opposed when I went to school and lived with my parents and got everything handed to me, I seem to be a lot happier.

You'll grow out of it if you really want to.

 

[springheeljack]

well its all well in good to be angsty but bitterness takes time..its different allot of bitterness comes from years of being fucked over
I dont think you can experience that at 18 unless you grew up in a horrible situation..

 

[nofear220]

I just realised after 18 straight hours of doing little more than read and generally be broody, i am a very bitter person deep down. The phrase "Why bother you'll just get fucked over again" has sprung to mind many a time.
Anywho my question still stands. Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?
Thoughts, Comments, Criticism's and STFU you mopey shit's are all welcome

Well I am just as bitter as you (if not more) deep down (and I have just turned 18). Although Im learning to control it and also not to show it, because some people just dont like cynical people.

snip...

Then you fuckin' come back to me and tell me how "bitter and cynical" you are.

Since grade 9 the only thing that has stopped me from killing myself has been the fact that my pet peeve is waste, and that would just be a waste of the perfectly able body I have. Id much rather join the army and put myself to use... To bad I disagree with the 'war' being fought in Iraq now, or else Id already be signed up. Everybody is different, my bitter outlook on life and my own life is different to everyone else's.