I understand where you're coming from. I'm fairly conservative with regards to those kind of ideals as well. I was lucky enough to find a girl who fit nearly all of them. In retrospect though, it was a bit immature. If you're planning on making a commitment to really caring about somebody, then you have to look at a person in their entirety. Singular actions don't define them, unless they make it define them. If a person has taken drugs, it doesn't make them an addict. If a person has tried smoking, it doesn't make them a smoker. If a person has had sex in the past, it does not make them a slut.
Many people experiment, but it's the continuity of action that really counts. If a person continues to smoke, they show that either they are extremely ignorant of health risks, dismissive of the harm they're causing, or just plain addicted.
But just trying it once out of curiosity? Stupid, IMO, but curiosity gets the best of many people.
For alcohol, it's more subjective. It doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of judgement, but it could. Drinking makes you more prone to other risky behaviors. But certain people can drink in moderation safely. Trying alcohol, however? Considering reaching legal drinking age is considered a milestone in our society, curiosity is pretty damn understandable. This would be a foolish criteria of selectivity.
Sex is often a part of self-discovery, and given how pleasurable it is, and the cultural/individual pressure associated with it, it's pretty understandable why any person would already have had it. I think the general problem most people have with this is a sense of possession and jealousy. A vague sense as though the girl has already retroactively cheated on you, before you could even enter a relationship.
But that is immature, and kind of stupid. Easy to feel, but pretty dumb. It's who she is NOW that counts, and what she chooses to do NOW. If she wants to date you, it means that she doesn't want other guys, she wants you. Put aside feelings of personal possession and accept that she is a separate person, with a past separated from you, and separated from the present. It's the continuity of her personality which matters. If you feel as though her morals are diametrically opposed to yours, that's one thing. But think about your own motives with regards to this, and whether they're selfish or not.
It's more difficult when you're younger, but learning to temper your strong opinions with a bit of acceptance can only help. Learning that you should not judge a person by various actions taken out of context helps. Particularly when you don't have any of their context to judge them by, since you haven't done any of that experimentation you so loathe yourself.
Starting a lasting relationship requires a lot of acceptance. People don't always do things you like, but the questions are: Does the good significantly outweigh the bad? Is the bad something that you can handle? Do you think the good will stay good? Will you always be able to deal with the bad?
Learning some tolerance now would be a good idea. Think about how well-justified your ideas are, what they're based on. Eventually you'll end up infatuated, and then run smack into one of those criteria you detest. If you've thought enough to know with certainty where your acceptable boundaries lie, then it won't be as much of a dilemma then.
Actually in regards to your question though, there are many people out there still who are virgins. It's a bit of a myth that there aren't any. Chances are that they're a bit quieter about it than the people who aren't. That number will naturally dwindle in your age group as you get older though. If it really is an uncompromising criteria, then you'd better start searching now.
