I agree here, a phrase I hear way too often for saying 'out of all the call of duty games I prefer the first one, the more recent ones seem to have lost the plot of what the game was about' that "Oh you're one of those guys..."
On the other hand I never finished Zelda or Mario, mostly because when I was young we never had a console, I got to play games on my father's work computer after hours, meaning that what most memorably what I got to play was along the lines of Doom and Quake, and later Age of Empires.
So then you get scoffed for being an old gamer who dislikes the way the industry is going, but then get scoffed for not playing the same titles the others did. A few friends are in the same situation, we get flak from all directions and ended up withdrawing from the community as a whole, playing by ourselves or amongst ourselves.
That being said, what is a true gamer, does our dedication to making the best of a situation, finding a way to play games even when we had such restricted access not count. That by the time we could have our own PCs, we spent the majority of our free time in a garage to LAN, sometimes for weeks on end. Does that not warrant the term gamer?
My point here being that if I was to be given Jim's test I'd likely fail, but then it doesn't change the fact that I've been gaming since I could create cognitive thought and have dedicated my life to it.
I realise that it's satire to a degree and that it's disproportional but at the end of the day true feeling lays behind it and in effect is an attitude no different to those you describe so flatteringly.