Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum
- Thread starter Internet Kraken
- Start date
Giant desert scorpions have also been known to kill adventurers with their own weapons. For example, you could implant your battle axe in a scoprion's face, only to have it pull said axe out with its tail and then shove it into your face.Engarde said:
Creatures with the [GRASP] token tend to use anything to can hold as a weapon, even if their natural abilties (deadly toxic in the case of scorpions) are better in combat.
He just needs rocks and some kind of body part, usually bones. I'm honestly surprised that you lack either of those. Just butcher a stray animal.PurpleLemur said:
Oh boy do I have an update for you! Let's just say the update I'm working on right now will highlight this particular brand of dwarven stupidity.PurpleLemur said:
Chapter 30: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul
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4th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Well, Miss Ishlumfeb certainly was nice! I feel like that meeting went really well. Though on reflection something seemed to be bothering her, though I'm not sure what. Probably the smell of rotting vulture. Anyways, wither our meeting complete I turned my attention to the merchants.
Looks like Reveredtour is getting some good recognition! No doubt everyone is impressed with how well I have done here. Anyways, I traded him a bunch of cut gems in exchange for a variety of goods. Mostly booze and some spare crafting materials Reveredtour currently lacks. For some reason he seemed disappointed that I didn't buy any of the ridiculous number of battle axes he brought along. I'm not sure why. It's not like I ordered those things. People keep saying I did, but I don't remember doing it!
Regardless, he seemed happy with the exchange overall. Now I can focus on more important matters. Like keeping Ingiz out of the graveyard. He gets a bit to hungry sometimes, and eats things he shouldn't. However, this did lead to me finding where Erush's foot went!
I don't think he will want it back though.
8th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
I noticed that a lot of work wasn't getting done, mostly in the kitchen platform.
I wasn't sure what was causing all these problems, so I decided to ask one of the cooks what the heck was going on.
Stinthad: "Rovod, why aren't you working? There's still plenty of food that needs to be cooked."
Rovod: "What, you expect me to work when those things are swimming right below us?"
Stinthad: "What things?"
Rovod: "The zombies!"
Stinthad: "Zombies?!?"
Kraken's notes: Bluefish, evidently named by the least creative person on earth, are your typical Dwarf Fortress non-vermin fish. They are somewhat aggressive in water, but on land they can't do anything but flop around pointlessly and wait for something to end their life. Assuming they don't suffocate first. So they aren't a threat to your dwarves unless they happen to fall into the ocean, and even then they can only cause harm due to drowning rendering any civilian incapable of fighting back. Only notable thing about them is that they, unlike most aquatic animals, will yield bones upon being butchered. Also I think they taste pretty good.
Stinthad: "Rovod, those are just fish."
Rovod: "Look closer."
Stinthad: "Oh, I see. I guess you're right. They are zombies. But why does that matter? They can't reach you up here."
Rovod: "That's what they want you to think. You think because they're down in the ocean they're harmless. Then one night you wake up only to see a zombie manta ray about to crush you. I'm not going anywhere near that place while zombies are near it."
The dwarves here take those horror stories a bit too seriously. I guess I'll just have the militia take them out. The Immortal Rags have gotten a lot of combat experience lately, so I should give the new squad, the Steamy Tours, a shot. It's not like these zombies are particularly threatening.
10th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Come on guys. You're overacting. They can't reach you! You're perfectly safe! Even if they could, I think it's safe to say that you could overpower some rotting fish.
11th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Ah, good. From the sound of things the Steamy Tours have found a way to engage the bluefish. They must have tried crawling onto shore-
WHY WOULD YOU JUMP INTO THE OCEAN TO FIGHT THEM?!?!
Oh god I hope they can swim.
12th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHAT PART OF YOUR MILITARY TRAINING COVERED UNDERWATER COMBAT?
13th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Well, the bluefish are no longer bothering the dwarves, but it cost us 3 soldiers to accomplish this. You see, after the initial 2 soldier drowned, the commander of the squad arrived on the scene. Something had evidently held him up, and his subordinates had charged ahead without him. He arrived to see them drowning in the ocean. No doubt this sight caused his emotions to get the best of him, as not only was he losing his squad mates but one of them was his wife.
He dove into the ocean in an attempt to rescue, tearing apart the remaining bluefish. He arrived too late, but refused to leave her on the ocean floor. He tried to haul her body back to shore, but couldn't summon the strength to do it. He then suffered the same fate as his wife.
Oh god it's so sad. Why? Why did they have to die in such a pointless way? We can't even recover their bodies now.
21st Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
I'm still trying to get my mind off the drowning, but that's easier said than done. It doesn't help that Goden just had to point out that, if you look hard enough, you can see the soldiers corpses lying on the ocean floor. There are little zombie shrimp picking off their flesh. Lovely.
On a more positive note, their sacrifice at least allowed us to expand the kitchen platform. There's now more room available, so I've ordered the construction of additional workshops so we can make use of the various animal byproducts we have lying around.
Stonesense Version [http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/5250/workshopsense.png]
26th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Construction of the moat is progressing well. The diggers have basically finished carving out a path to the river to fill it with water. Of course, we have to install some floodgates before piercing the river, otherwise we will have no way of controlling the flow of water. Should be a simple task though.
2nd Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
One the mechanics told me they had finished linking the main drawbridge up to one of the levers. He said I would be able to raise and lower the drawbridge at will. I decided to test his claim.
As I expected, the bridge operated perfectly.
By raising this bridge, we can effectively shut off Reveredtour from the outside world. Hopefully such a drastic measure will never be necessary, though one can't be too careful. Currently the moat hasn't been filled, so any creature crossing the bridge would fall a few z-levels down rather than land in a pool of water. That should change soon though.
Stonesense Version [http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2773/controlroomsense.png]
I should probably mention that all levers are being placed in one area I have dubbed the central control room. The idea is that having all the levers easily accessible from one location will be more convenient than spreading them across the fortress. There's some risk of a dwarf pulling the wrong lever, but they are all going to be clearly labeled so this shouldn't be an issue.
8th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
So I was examining the lower area of Reveredtour today, when I suddenly found myself engulfed in a massive cloud of miasma.
The cloud was so thick that I literally couldn't breathe. I nearly passed out after spending just few a seconds inside it. Somehow, the other dwarves are only mildly irritated by this, which perhaps explains why nobody has bothered to move the rotting corpses producing the gas. A lot of people here seem to have really poor priorities.
12th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
Some beds were finally moved to a suitable area separate from the dormitories. I decided that this place would serve as Reveredtour's hospital. It's lacking at the moment, but over the next few months I intend to stock it with the proper medical supplies to ensure that I can mend the injuries of any dwarf.
To my surprise, two of the diggers immediately headed to the hospital upon my announcement of it being opened. They need medical treatment for injuries they had received months ago, but had apparently been ignoring up until now. Even though one of their friends died from an infections caused by her injuries.
Jeez, they didn't have to wait until an official hospital was set up to get treatment. All they had to do was ask. Oh well, I'll just help the now! Best of all, I got an up-to-date medical textbook from the caravan, so now I can actually do some of this stuff properly!
Note to self; the spinal cord IS a part of the nervous system.
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4th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Well, Miss Ishlumfeb certainly was nice! I feel like that meeting went really well. Though on reflection something seemed to be bothering her, though I'm not sure what. Probably the smell of rotting vulture. Anyways, wither our meeting complete I turned my attention to the merchants.
Looks like Reveredtour is getting some good recognition! No doubt everyone is impressed with how well I have done here. Anyways, I traded him a bunch of cut gems in exchange for a variety of goods. Mostly booze and some spare crafting materials Reveredtour currently lacks. For some reason he seemed disappointed that I didn't buy any of the ridiculous number of battle axes he brought along. I'm not sure why. It's not like I ordered those things. People keep saying I did, but I don't remember doing it!
Regardless, he seemed happy with the exchange overall. Now I can focus on more important matters. Like keeping Ingiz out of the graveyard. He gets a bit to hungry sometimes, and eats things he shouldn't. However, this did lead to me finding where Erush's foot went!
I don't think he will want it back though.
8th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
I noticed that a lot of work wasn't getting done, mostly in the kitchen platform.
I wasn't sure what was causing all these problems, so I decided to ask one of the cooks what the heck was going on.
Stinthad: "Rovod, why aren't you working? There's still plenty of food that needs to be cooked."
Rovod: "What, you expect me to work when those things are swimming right below us?"
Stinthad: "What things?"
Rovod: "The zombies!"
Stinthad: "Zombies?!?"
At this point it's worth noting that any animal afflicted with undead status becomes amphibious, including fish. This means that they can crawl onto land and attack dwarves, provided there is a way out of the water. However, most fish aren't very large so this isn't an issue. However, a skeletal whale is just as terrifying as it sounds.
In Dwarf Fortress, that sweet little girl would be devoured.
In Dwarf Fortress, that sweet little girl would be devoured.
Stinthad: "Rovod, those are just fish."
Rovod: "Look closer."
Stinthad: "Oh, I see. I guess you're right. They are zombies. But why does that matter? They can't reach you up here."
Rovod: "That's what they want you to think. You think because they're down in the ocean they're harmless. Then one night you wake up only to see a zombie manta ray about to crush you. I'm not going anywhere near that place while zombies are near it."
The dwarves here take those horror stories a bit too seriously. I guess I'll just have the militia take them out. The Immortal Rags have gotten a lot of combat experience lately, so I should give the new squad, the Steamy Tours, a shot. It's not like these zombies are particularly threatening.
10th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Come on guys. You're overacting. They can't reach you! You're perfectly safe! Even if they could, I think it's safe to say that you could overpower some rotting fish.
11th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Ah, good. From the sound of things the Steamy Tours have found a way to engage the bluefish. They must have tried crawling onto shore-
WHY WOULD YOU JUMP INTO THE OCEAN TO FIGHT THEM?!?!
Oh god I hope they can swim.
12th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHAT PART OF YOUR MILITARY TRAINING COVERED UNDERWATER COMBAT?
13th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Well, the bluefish are no longer bothering the dwarves, but it cost us 3 soldiers to accomplish this. You see, after the initial 2 soldier drowned, the commander of the squad arrived on the scene. Something had evidently held him up, and his subordinates had charged ahead without him. He arrived to see them drowning in the ocean. No doubt this sight caused his emotions to get the best of him, as not only was he losing his squad mates but one of them was his wife.
He dove into the ocean in an attempt to rescue, tearing apart the remaining bluefish. He arrived too late, but refused to leave her on the ocean floor. He tried to haul her body back to shore, but couldn't summon the strength to do it. He then suffered the same fate as his wife.
Oh god it's so sad. Why? Why did they have to die in such a pointless way? We can't even recover their bodies now.
21st Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
I'm still trying to get my mind off the drowning, but that's easier said than done. It doesn't help that Goden just had to point out that, if you look hard enough, you can see the soldiers corpses lying on the ocean floor. There are little zombie shrimp picking off their flesh. Lovely.
On a more positive note, their sacrifice at least allowed us to expand the kitchen platform. There's now more room available, so I've ordered the construction of additional workshops so we can make use of the various animal byproducts we have lying around.
Stonesense Version [http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/5250/workshopsense.png]
26th Moonstone, 1052, Early Winter
Construction of the moat is progressing well. The diggers have basically finished carving out a path to the river to fill it with water. Of course, we have to install some floodgates before piercing the river, otherwise we will have no way of controlling the flow of water. Should be a simple task though.
2nd Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
One the mechanics told me they had finished linking the main drawbridge up to one of the levers. He said I would be able to raise and lower the drawbridge at will. I decided to test his claim.
As I expected, the bridge operated perfectly.
By raising this bridge, we can effectively shut off Reveredtour from the outside world. Hopefully such a drastic measure will never be necessary, though one can't be too careful. Currently the moat hasn't been filled, so any creature crossing the bridge would fall a few z-levels down rather than land in a pool of water. That should change soon though.
Stonesense Version [http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2773/controlroomsense.png]
I should probably mention that all levers are being placed in one area I have dubbed the central control room. The idea is that having all the levers easily accessible from one location will be more convenient than spreading them across the fortress. There's some risk of a dwarf pulling the wrong lever, but they are all going to be clearly labeled so this shouldn't be an issue.
8th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
So I was examining the lower area of Reveredtour today, when I suddenly found myself engulfed in a massive cloud of miasma.
The cloud was so thick that I literally couldn't breathe. I nearly passed out after spending just few a seconds inside it. Somehow, the other dwarves are only mildly irritated by this, which perhaps explains why nobody has bothered to move the rotting corpses producing the gas. A lot of people here seem to have really poor priorities.
12th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
Some beds were finally moved to a suitable area separate from the dormitories. I decided that this place would serve as Reveredtour's hospital. It's lacking at the moment, but over the next few months I intend to stock it with the proper medical supplies to ensure that I can mend the injuries of any dwarf.
To my surprise, two of the diggers immediately headed to the hospital upon my announcement of it being opened. They need medical treatment for injuries they had received months ago, but had apparently been ignoring up until now. Even though one of their friends died from an infections caused by her injuries.
Jeez, they didn't have to wait until an official hospital was set up to get treatment. All they had to do was ask. Oh well, I'll just help the now! Best of all, I got an up-to-date medical textbook from the caravan, so now I can actually do some of this stuff properly!
Note to self; the spinal cord IS a part of the nervous system.
__________________________________________________
How did you not see-
Oh, that was why you sent in the reserve squad. Also, I would once again like to remind everyone to bring a trained diagnoser in the starting 7.
Oh, that was why you sent in the reserve squad. Also, I would once again like to remind everyone to bring a trained diagnoser in the starting 7.
Actually, I thought this particular brand of stupid was no longer an issue in 3.18 so long as you had ramps leading out of the ocean. GUESS NOT.(name here) said:
If I had sent in the real military, I wouldn't be able to form a coherent post.
I probably will. Though the last time I tried that I ended up flooding the entire fortress.Aidinthel said:
Not sure if there's going to be an update today, as I'm not feeling to great. Will see how it goes though.
Glorious topic and LP in general. I'm watching with close intent. You've reinspired my urge to make an Atlantis-esque fort, though I'm still wrestling with how to pump dry an area of a multiple z-level ocean. Here's to !!SCIENCE!!, then, even if things under water don't burn.
Unless it's lignite.
...
I think I have my solution.
Unless it's lignite.
...
I think I have my solution.
Woah, I just read this whole thing. It's pretty freaking awesome.
I'm not gonna try to tell you your job or anything, but maybe you should, I dunno, make some sort of cavern automated defense system so the creepy crawlies can't get from the first layer straight to the surface. Like by using a door.
Also, you should probably wall off that lake except for a narrow passage. Krakens apparently are extraordinarily Fun.
Oh, and maybe you should finish the rooms that are next to the ocean. Waves can be very, very painful in DF sometimes. They smash wagons.
I'm not gonna try to tell you your job or anything, but maybe you should, I dunno, make some sort of cavern automated defense system so the creepy crawlies can't get from the first layer straight to the surface. Like by using a door.
Also, you should probably wall off that lake except for a narrow passage. Krakens apparently are extraordinarily Fun.
Oh, and maybe you should finish the rooms that are next to the ocean. Waves can be very, very painful in DF sometimes. They smash wagons.
Chapter 31: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul
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13th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
I decided it would be best to tend to Atir's wounds first, since he seemed to be in worse shape. Weird, I thought he somehow managed to avoid taking significant injuries from the cave in. Then again the other dwarf caught in it died from infection so I suppose he's relatively okay.
Stinthad: "Hello Atir!"
Atir: "What? Oh, it's you. Look, why are you bothering me? In case it wasn't obvious, I'm not feeling so great."
Stinthad: "Well I'm your doctor of course!"
Atir: "WHAT?!? You're a doctor?!?"
Stinthad: "Well, sort of. The closest thing to a doctor in Reveredtour!"
Aitr: "You know what? These wounds really aren't that bad. I'll just walk them off. Thanks anyways-"
Stinthad: "Don't be silly! Lorbam, hold him down."
Stinthad: "Wow, you most certainly are not okay! But that's fine, I can fix you! Probably. Say, do you mine with your left or right hand? I have to know which you need to keep."
Atir: "Oh Zalis help me."
Stinthad: "Don't be so negative! I'm a professional! Look, I even have a medical textbook to make sure I'm doing this stuff right!"
Atir: "That book is from 154!"
Stinthad: "Huh? Oh, so it is. Guess I picked up the wrong one again. Thanks!"
At this point Atir then began weeping quietly. He sure seems depressed. No doubt because the injuries he has are keeping him from working. I can fix that though! Too bad I have other stuff I need to do at the moment. Luckily, Goden volunteered to keep an eye on the patients while I'm away. This surprised me, as usually she isn't eager to help others. But she jumped at the opportunity when I told her Atir was in the hospital. Maybe they're friends?
17th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
Talking to Momuz revealed a rather disturbing fact about our military; nobody here knows how to swim. Which means that a repeat of the bluefish incident is unfortunately quite likely. I figure this needs to be remedied, which is why I have ordered the construction of a special swimming chamber.
Hopefully when it is complete the military will be able to use it to learn how to swim properly. Then we can have an army of amphibious dwarves! That's awesome!
21st Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
I decided to attempt fixing one of Atir's many wounds today. He sure seemed excited when he saw me come in. So excited that he tried breaking the rope attaching him to bed so he could come greet me! At least, I think that was what he was doing.
Um, I'm not sure if I did it right. I mean, I think I did, but it's hard to tell. This book needs more pictures. I think I should have the mechanics throw together some device to restrain patients effectively. They squirm to much when I try to operate on them. Lorbam can hold them down, but sometimes he hurts them in the process. He's pretty clumsy!
25th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
EEEEEEK! THIS IS HORRIBLE! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF MICROLINE!!!!
WE NEED MORE!! MORE!! SOMEBODY GO DIG OUT MORE MICROLINE!!!!
5th Obsidian, 1052, Late Winter
Well, I think it's safe to say that the food crisis was resolved. We never even had to resort to eating drinking water. I can't even imagine having to do that. It would be horrible!
I mean, how could you have a nice plate of elephant eye and vulture intestines without some booze to wash it all down? It would be terrible.
8th Obsidian, 1052, Late Winter
I think I realized what I'm doing wrong here. You have to make sure the thread used for suturing hasn't been lying in a pile of blood and vomit for several weeks. Otherwise it just falls apart after you finish with the surgery. Oh, and the patient starts screaming a lot. Though that might be because I keep missing with the needle.
12th Obsidian, 1052, Late Winter
The barracks seems to have a pretty big vermin problem. I don't know why, but a ton of vermin seem to wander in there and get themselves killed. It doesn't bother the soldiers, but I personally find it somewhat disgusting to see their training area littered with dead lungfish and frogs. Maybe I should have someone install small traps there to capture the vermin. Then I could have Rovod make delicious meals out of them! She can make anything taste good.
__________________________________________________
Yeah, shitty update because I feel pretty shitty today. I know that's not a good excuse but, hey, deal with it.
I'll try to make something halfway decent tomorrow.
__________________________________________________
13th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
I decided it would be best to tend to Atir's wounds first, since he seemed to be in worse shape. Weird, I thought he somehow managed to avoid taking significant injuries from the cave in. Then again the other dwarf caught in it died from infection so I suppose he's relatively okay.
Stinthad: "Hello Atir!"
Atir: "What? Oh, it's you. Look, why are you bothering me? In case it wasn't obvious, I'm not feeling so great."
Stinthad: "Well I'm your doctor of course!"
Atir: "WHAT?!? You're a doctor?!?"
Stinthad: "Well, sort of. The closest thing to a doctor in Reveredtour!"
Aitr: "You know what? These wounds really aren't that bad. I'll just walk them off. Thanks anyways-"
Stinthad: "Don't be silly! Lorbam, hold him down."
Stinthad: "Wow, you most certainly are not okay! But that's fine, I can fix you! Probably. Say, do you mine with your left or right hand? I have to know which you need to keep."
Atir: "Oh Zalis help me."
Stinthad: "Don't be so negative! I'm a professional! Look, I even have a medical textbook to make sure I'm doing this stuff right!"
Atir: "That book is from 154!"
Stinthad: "Huh? Oh, so it is. Guess I picked up the wrong one again. Thanks!"
At this point Atir then began weeping quietly. He sure seems depressed. No doubt because the injuries he has are keeping him from working. I can fix that though! Too bad I have other stuff I need to do at the moment. Luckily, Goden volunteered to keep an eye on the patients while I'm away. This surprised me, as usually she isn't eager to help others. But she jumped at the opportunity when I told her Atir was in the hospital. Maybe they're friends?
17th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
Talking to Momuz revealed a rather disturbing fact about our military; nobody here knows how to swim. Which means that a repeat of the bluefish incident is unfortunately quite likely. I figure this needs to be remedied, which is why I have ordered the construction of a special swimming chamber.
Hopefully when it is complete the military will be able to use it to learn how to swim properly. Then we can have an army of amphibious dwarves! That's awesome!
21st Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
I decided to attempt fixing one of Atir's many wounds today. He sure seemed excited when he saw me come in. So excited that he tried breaking the rope attaching him to bed so he could come greet me! At least, I think that was what he was doing.
Um, I'm not sure if I did it right. I mean, I think I did, but it's hard to tell. This book needs more pictures. I think I should have the mechanics throw together some device to restrain patients effectively. They squirm to much when I try to operate on them. Lorbam can hold them down, but sometimes he hurts them in the process. He's pretty clumsy!
25th Opal, 1052, Mid-Winter
EEEEEEK! THIS IS HORRIBLE! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF MICROLINE!!!!
WE NEED MORE!! MORE!! SOMEBODY GO DIG OUT MORE MICROLINE!!!!
5th Obsidian, 1052, Late Winter
Well, I think it's safe to say that the food crisis was resolved. We never even had to resort to eating drinking water. I can't even imagine having to do that. It would be horrible!
I mean, how could you have a nice plate of elephant eye and vulture intestines without some booze to wash it all down? It would be terrible.
8th Obsidian, 1052, Late Winter
I think I realized what I'm doing wrong here. You have to make sure the thread used for suturing hasn't been lying in a pile of blood and vomit for several weeks. Otherwise it just falls apart after you finish with the surgery. Oh, and the patient starts screaming a lot. Though that might be because I keep missing with the needle.
12th Obsidian, 1052, Late Winter
The barracks seems to have a pretty big vermin problem. I don't know why, but a ton of vermin seem to wander in there and get themselves killed. It doesn't bother the soldiers, but I personally find it somewhat disgusting to see their training area littered with dead lungfish and frogs. Maybe I should have someone install small traps there to capture the vermin. Then I could have Rovod make delicious meals out of them! She can make anything taste good.
__________________________________________________
Yeah, shitty update because I feel pretty shitty today. I know that's not a good excuse but, hey, deal with it.
I'll try to make something halfway decent tomorrow.
Actually bothered to proofread the post and fix the obvious typos, so it should be easier to read now.
Will put out an update at some point today. Probably not going to be long, as there is less than a month left of 1052.
Will put out an update at some point today. Probably not going to be long, as there is less than a month left of 1052.
