Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum

[repeating integers]

Dwarf Fortress: The only game where you can be supremely pissed off by absolute success.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Dwarf Fortress: The only game where you can be supremely pissed off by absolute success.

Well that means you aren't having enough Fun

 

[Cowabungaa]

Dwarf Fortress: The only game where you can be supremely pissed off by absolute success.

Well that means you aren't having enough Fun

Exactly. I mean, everything here is just running so horribly smoothly. My military has an effective training schedule that keeps them both prepped and happy, my stocks are extremely well-filled for all occasions and my workforce is variated enough that there's always a worker free for anything I need. I just have to place a work order, get it validated and presto, it's done in a jiffy.

And despite having a fortress with almost 100 dwarves, parties are still quite rare, and even if they happen they never really have an impact on how well the fortress runs. The game almost runs itself!

 

[vallorn]

Dwarf Fortress: The only game where you can be supremely pissed off by absolute success.

Well that means you aren't having enough Fun

Exactly. I mean, everything here is just running so horribly smoothly. My military has an effective training schedule that keeps them both prepped and happy, my stocks are extremely well-filled for all occasions and my workforce is variated enough that there's always a worker free for anything I need. I just have to place a work order, get it validated and presto, it's done in a jiffy.

And despite having a fortress with almost 100 dwarves, parties are still quite rare, and even if they happen they never really have an impact on how well the fortress runs. The game almost runs itself!

jeez you realy need to start one of those MegaProjects on the MagmaWiki.

 

[SamuelT]

Dwarf Fortress: The only game where you can be supremely pissed off by absolute success.

Well that means you aren't having enough Fun

Exactly. I mean, everything here is just running so horribly smoothly. My military has an effective training schedule that keeps them both prepped and happy, my stocks are extremely well-filled for all occasions and my workforce is variated enough that there's always a worker free for anything I need. I just have to place a work order, get it validated and presto, it's done in a jiffy.

And despite having a fortress with almost 100 dwarves, parties are still quite rare, and even if they happen they never really have an impact on how well the fortress runs. The game almost runs itself!

Heh. Had that once, but with Dwarves fully equipped with adamantine. Sieges never showed up. Had 'colonized' all three levels of caverns, just for the heck of it.

On come two forgotten beasts mere seconds away from each other, with the one secreting uber-noxious poison and the other one pumping out Deadly Dust, which spreads for almost an entire screen.

And it would just so happen a large chunk of my dwarves were mass-farming in the caves at that moment. I've got about 60 dwarves now all rotting away in an hospital. The other 40 are miserable.

But hey. Our new Iron Mug artifact might lighten everyones spirits!

 

[Double A]

The Circus?

Are we talking about HFS and Cotton Candy?

 

[Internet Kraken]

The Circus?

Are we talking about HFS and Cotton Candy?

Yes. Really, what else could you be talking about in Dwarf Fortress with those terms?

 

[Double A]

The Circus?

Are we talking about HFS and Cotton Candy?

Yes. Really, what else could you be talking about in Dwarf Fortress with those terms?

Elven caravans. Or just elves. Maybe goblins, but you'd be pushing it.

 

[woots7]

i remember my best fortress ever, i had 105 dwarves, 4 squads of 5 military dwarves one with maces, one with swords and two with battle axes. silver maces, steel battle axes and a complete set of steel armour for all of them, also they were all legendary with there weapons. how did i die, well my fort was built over a water fall, any way some trolls fell in and all of my wood cutters and wood haulers and the dwarves working on my mega project (a roman colluseam) refused to enter my fort because of the trolls, then a goblin ambush came and wiped out all of them, which was about 600 dwarves, so some dwarves {including my military dwarves) started tantruming
and then the goblins came into to my now blood stained fortress and slaughter every one, this happened in about 2 minutes

 

[Da_MoA]

Love this LP so far keep it up Kraken. Also im putting forward my name for a dwarf.

 

[Internet Kraken]

Just a heads up; the update schedule over the next week is going to be smaller than the norm. The reason is that I have midterms this week, so I need to spend more time studying. There will probably be less updates, and the updates I do put out will be fairly small.

 

[vallorn]

Just a heads up; the update schedule over the next week is going to be smaller than the norm. The reason is that I have midterms this week, so I need to spend more time studying. There will probably be less updates, and the updates I do put out will be fairly small.

thats okay... its not lke were paying you or anything.

so long as we get updates at all i think most of us will be happy.

also:if anyone read that "Crafting Oblivion" article last week Escapecraft.net is the forums for that server.

BEST. SURVIVAL. MUTIPLAYER. SERVER. EVER!

also The Big E lied about there being no mutiplayer survival... they must have wrote that article a few months ago.

 

[Internet Kraken]

Is this a god damn joke? I haven't even finished half of the first month and this has already popped in. Oh, it's made of stone and has deadly dust? That's just great.

 

[repeating integers]

Is this a god damn joke? I haven't even finished half of the first month and this has already popped in. Oh, it's made of stone and has deadly dust? That's just great.

(As you might have guessed, the caption is the important part here).

So, methinks you're gonna have to be a little bit more inventive this time.

 

[vallorn]

dear god that sucks... well it looks like your Fort has a stash of Forgotten Beast-Nip in it.

and dont you wish you had some ranged dwarves about now?

personaly i would seal up the layer it enterd in and leave it till i was ready...

 

[SamuelT]

Is it even possible to kill one made out of stone with regular weapons? Or is that only for metal-and-diamond skinned FB's?

 

[vallorn]

either trap it then put it in a pit near the HFS or collaple a cave on it. it should work.

 

[Internet Kraken]

Chapter 54: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul

__________________________________________________


1st Granite, 1055, Early Spring

Huh, I can't believe it's already a new year. Time sure does fly sometimes. Looking over the fort, I think we've progresses fairly well.

Map of Reveredtour [http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/9545/reveredtour.png]
Stonesense Version [http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/8227/reveredtoursense.png]

Okay, I say that every year. But I really mean it this time! I mean, construction is going along strong, the moat has finished filling up completely, the military is doing well protecting the fort, Rowan is keeping me from botching basic medical procedures, and we've got a mountain of delicious meat!

I have a good feeling about this year!

3rd Granite, 1055, Early Spring

Dammit all.

Of course the first thing I have to talk about is a problem. I ordered the mechanics to make use of our friendly cave spider, so they've been setting up a special trap down in the first cavern. I didn't expect to hear about it until they had finished. But one of the mechanics informed me that there was a problem.

That problem being some idiot mason that trapped himself inside the fortifications. I don't know how long he's been stuck inside there. Apparently the mechanics even knew he was in there, but didn't bother to let him out for some reason! I've only been told about this because he screaming was upsetting little SamuelT. Good thing to, otherwise that dwarf might have starved before I even knew he was missing.

8th Granite, 1055, Early Spring

So today Root of all Evil came up to me and asked if I knew where her husband was. I didn't, and it seemed odd that someone could go missing. So I asked around, but apparently nobody else knew where he was either. I was starting to get worried when I heard loud snoring echoing up from the deep roads. Following it led me to a disappointing sight.

How can two masons make the same mistake twice? This is absurd. On top of this, Aidinthel apparently isn't very bright because rather than call for help he decided to take a nap, figuring that we would find him on our own. Okay, we did manage to do so, but that was still a really stupid thing to do.

How hard is it to build a fortification without trapping yourself inside it?

13th Granite, 1055, Early Spring

So I was about to have to diggers cut open the path to the abyss and put an end to Yara, when I suddenly received a list of demands from the soldiers. Apparently, they feel that they way they've been treated is unfair and are demanding better conditions! I can't believe this! I never thought the military would be angry with me. I thought we were all friends.

The list was made by anonymous dwarves, so I'm not sure who is displeased. Evidently Momuz wasn't among these soldiers though, because he saw the list before me. I was willing to consider some of their demands but Momuz...well maybe I should just recreate the list here, along with the comments Momuz made.

-Time off to spend with our families. We train around the year, and have almost no time to spend with them. (Can you believe these whining elves Stinthad? Time off? They're soldiers, they don't get time off. We train year round because it's necessary to protect the fort. So yeah, fuck this demand. I'm ignoring it.)
-A better barracks to train in. The current one is dull, dark, and depressing. (Oh what are these fuckers talking about? It's a barracks, not a god damn royal bedroom. It does not need to be fancy. I'm ignoring this one to.)
-A safer swimming room, and less swimming in general. Several of us have almost drowned in that death trap. (Disregard this one to, nobody's died yet. That makes it perfectly safe in my eyes. Maybe the swimming wouldn't be so bad if these fools learned faster.)
-Healthier food, as the current meal plan consist mainly of elk bird spleens and clownfish roasts. Neither of these are good to eat before engaging in combat. (Really? Am I supposed to take this seriously? These are supposed to be hardened soldiers, not whining 10 year olds. They will eat whatever the fuck they get and like it. I don't care if they want plump helmets lightly boiled and salted for 2 hours and whatever the fuck they think is good for them.)
-Decent equipment. Most of us are running around with armor and weapons scavenged off the goblins, or no equipment at all. (Okay, this one I will agree with. We do need some better gear. Preferably steel. Get on that Stinthad.)

So...I just have to make them better gear. Momuz won't even consider the other requests. Well, I'm sure he knows best. It's not like the soldiers are going to riot because of this.

15th Granite, 1055, Early Spring

...

No, I reject this. This is not happening. I did not hear some horrifying roar coming from the caverns again. It was just my imagination. I've been working too hard. Everything is just fine. EVERYTHING IS FINE!

16th Granite, 1055, Early Spring

God dammit, I didn't imagine it. There's another one of those giant nightmare prancing around down there, no doubt getting ready to feast on dwarven flesh. Fortunately Moldath still serves as a fountain of knowledge when it comes to these things. Apparently this one is named Usan. However he's caused the grubmen tribes so much grief that they gave him a special name. His full name is Usan Diedeep the Fatal Abyss. That name invokes a number of thoughts, all of which are terrifying. Anyways, she described it in detail for me so I'd know what we're up against.

So it's some giant 4 legged monstrosity made out of stone. How is it made out of stone? How can that possibly work? Also it spews some kind of dust, in case it wasn't bad enough already. And despite the name, it does not live in the abyss. It's in the crypt, so we have no choice but to fight it.

19th Granite, 1055, Early Spring

So the military was preparing to charge down to haven, when suddenly a massive explosion boomed through the ground. I had no idea what caused it at the time. Nothing should be able to cause an explosion like that. Well, apparently these forgotten beasts can, since they ignore our petty dwarven logic and do all sort of improbably things.

So upon hearing that the explosion was caused by Usan, I was convinced we were now fucked. There's no way we could beat a giant stone monster that can make stuff explode whenever it wants. That was until I heard that the thing that exploded...was Usan itself.

Yeah, it blew itself up. All that's left of it is a huge pile of rubble. I...I'm so confused. How did it blow itself up? Why did it blow itself up? What the hell is going on here?!?

I guess this works in our favor though. I'm just going to stop thinking about this and pretend it never happened.

__________________________________________________

This update is short for two main reasons; as mentioned earlier I need to study, and the forgotten beast killing itself confused me so much I couldn't focus on the game.

 

[woots7]

thats what happens when the breath attacks token is UNDIRECTED_DUST it pretty much means that they made a cave in, which there were right under.................................

 

[Aidinthel]

Yes, my dwarf got mentioned! Wow, he really is useless. Clearly Root of All Evil only married him for that awesome name.