Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Chapter 10: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul

__________________________________________________

6th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

Too long. This demikraken has mocked me for too long. How dare it not blindly stumble into our wonderful cage traps! I'll teach it a lesson. I'll show it what happens when you insult my glorious home.



I have ordered the Immortal Rags to stand by the ocean shore. There they shall remain until the demikraken either lies in our traps or is cut into many little pieces. I have no patience for this beast's games anymore.

8th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

ARGH THE DEMIKRAKEN LEFT DAMN MY INCOMPETENT MILITIA FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

9th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

Wow, looking back on my previous entries I was going a bit.....crazy, for lack of a better word. I think I yelled at the Momuz when he failed to kill the demikraken. I feel really bad about that. Some gazelles wandered back into Reveredtour today. He wants to test the new recruits fighting skills on them. Normally I would hesitate to let him slaughter such innocent creatures, but I figure it's the least I can do make up for my rude behavior.



12th Sandstone. 1051, Mid-Autumn

Oh dear.

Today the Immortal Rags began their gazelle hunt. When I approved this, I didn't expect them to kill any of them. The gazelle are quite quick on their feet, and only care about running away. It seems I have once again underestimated the militia's blood lust.



Alath charged towards the gazelles with frightening enthusiasm. Perhaps he is still eager to prove himself, or punching zombie conchmen out of existence has resulted in him developing a superiority complex. Either way, he was the first to approach the herd. Lacking any weapons, I figured he would be incapable of taking down any gazelles.



However, he is quite....resourceful. Somehow he managed to channel enough rage into a single punch that upon colliding with the gazelle's face its skull was shattered into small fragments that then tore up its own brain. He managed to kill the poor thing with a single punch. As terrifying as that is, it's also very impressive. If we had any skilled crafters in this fortress I would have them build him a gazelle punching trophy.

Of course he wasn't satisfied with killing just one gazelle. He then pounced another gazelle, which had apparently been paralyzed with fear after seeing its friend's skull shattered. I believe he opted to tear this one limb from limb, but I was too disgusted to watch so I'm not sure.

I instead turned my attention to Momuz and Kosoth. They had been chasing a pack of gazelles for quite some time, though appeared incapable of catching up to them. The gazelles were simply too quick for them. However, they managed to corner one of the gazelles on the shore line. The peaceful herbivore stared in abject horror at the sight of two angry dwarves, a massive earth golem, and a swarm of octopre charging towards it. It appeared to have lost all hope, and was now awaiting death. Just then, Alath leaped down from above, grabbed the gazelle by its throat, and crushed its skull with a single punch.



At this point all the gazelle were either dead or had fled to the other side of the wastes in terror. So the Immortal Rags decided it was time to head back for a drink. They then celebrated their ability to viciously tear apart weak little creatures. Momuz himself didn't kill any of them, though he didn't seem to mind. He was happy that Kosoth and Alath, though mostly Alath, had proved that they are capable of fighting even without weapons.

15th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

It's come to my attention that we are actually starting to run low on food.



I'm not worried though. We have plenty of drink, so any plants harvested by Dishmab will not have to be brewed. Rovod is also working tirelessly to produce more food. She can butcher the gazelles recently slain by the Immortal Rags. But if things do get desperate, I will have to order some of the cute little octopudi to be slaughtered. I hope it doesn't come to that though.

16th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

It seems all that effort spent trying to catch that damned demikraken wasn't all for naught. It seems during the panic of the attack, one of the gazelles had wandered into a cage trap.



I'm not sure what to do with it though. Momuz wants to turn it into a war beast, which confused me since they don't appear particularly effective in combat. He doesn't actually have a logical reason. He just wants more war beasts. I think for now we'll just keep it inside its cage. In fact, we'll put it right at the entrance and have it serve as the fort mascot! Dashy, the gazelle that can only love!

17th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

Everyone has been hearing some disturbing sounds coming from the caverns today. At first it sounded like someone was running from something. I was worried that a dwarf might be in danger, but there was no cry for help so I assumed it was just some wild creatures hunting each other. Then it became worse, and we heard Dishmab scream for the first time in weeks. I think she might be in danger! I've dispatched the Immortal Rags to rescue her, but I don't know if they can save her in time. Arel protect her. I don't think I could live with myself if she got hurt....




Kraken's Notes: Cave Kraken are much like their surface dwelling cousins. Though like most underground creatures, they only possess a single eye and have a pale complexion. Cave Kraken are capable of growing larger than lesser kraken and are thus more aggressive. They will hunt down civilians, attempting to crush them with their mighty tentacles. Skilled dwarves have little trouble with them though, as they do not travel in large groups.

17th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

OH GOD NO IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!!!



__________________________________________________
 

Weaver

Overcaffeinated
Apr 28, 2008
8,977
0
0
Wait, we're allowed to post our let's plays? I have a bunch of them on youtube.
 

Spacewolf

New member
May 21, 2008
1,232
0
0
ive just reached the first cavern in my fortress z-level -56 but no enamys to be seen but im still holding up hopefor something with abit of a bite to it
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
AC10 said:
Wait, we're allowed to post our let's plays? I have a bunch of them on youtube.
AS far as I know, you're not allowed to post a video LP since it's considered advertising or a low content post. Maybe with a large text supplement you could get away with it, but I would ask a mod first. The Escapist doesn't have any rules set in stone about LP. Originally I wasn't sure if we were allowed to make LPs, however a quick search revealed that dozens of LPs have been started on the Escapist. Though from what I can tell pretty much all of them failed, as the OP gave up on it.
Spacewolf said:
ive just reached the first cavern in my fortress z-level -56 but no enamys to be seen but im still holding up hopefor something with abit of a bite to it
Trust me, there are. [http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Forgotten_beast]
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Hey, there may or may not be an update today. My brother is here for the first time in months and I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with him. This means that I don't really have time to sit down and make a long, properly written update. I might be able to make one later though.
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Chapter 11: From the journal of Goden Ducimtathtak

__________________________________________________

18th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

Stinthad has temporarily handed over all the responsibilities and powers of the expedition leader to me. She appears to be deeply traumatized by the death of Dishmab, blaming herself for her demise. As much as I'd like to say that this was a result of her gross incompetence, in truth she couldn't have done much to prevent this. No one anticipated such a violent and sudden attack from the deep, as normally cave krakens aren't particularly aggressive. And if Dishmab hadn't fallen into a state of isolation, the militia would have known of her plight before it was to later. Even if I had been in the position of expedition leader I doubt I could have prevented that cave kraken from snapping Dishmab's neck.

Of course there's no need to tell Stinthad this. Figure I'll let her wallow in her own guilt for as long as possible so I can get some real work done.

19th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

A horrible scratching sound has been echoing up from the caverns, accompanied by labored breathing and the smell of rotting flesh. It is only safe to assume that some form of the undead is attempting to attack Reveredtour.




Kraken's Notes: The idea of a giant mole sounds intimidating, though they are actually only slightly larger than a deer. So they probably shouldn't pose a significant threat to your dwarves, and any military will wipe the floor with them. The bigger danger they pose is raiding your food stockpiles. They will attempt to steal any food they can reach and then flee before being caught. So it's important to dispose of them when they come in close proximity to your fortress.

I am not concerned, as the Immortal Rags are quite capable of defeating the average zombie. The corrupting essence that holds them together is weak in this area, so they tend to dissipate after suffering only minor injuries. Stinthad foolishly believes this to be a result of divine intervention. How childish. The gods do not care about the survival of Reveredtour. They would never help us, beyond giving me advice. Though lately I am not sure if their words hold any truth.

20th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

The zombie was defeated with ease. It appears it was an undead giant mole, attempting to steal food from Reveredtour. This would have been disastrous, as we are running low on all forms of food. The death of Dishmab certainly hasn't helped in this regard. I may have to divert focus away from construction and towards food production, assuming the caravans do not show up soon. Regardless, we can't focus on the caverns for the time being, and as such it is important to destroy any creatures that may be lurking in close proximity to Reveredtour. I shall send the Immortal Rags to cleanse the caverns.

On the subject of food, we have finally managed to build an area that could serve as a suitable dining hall.



I loathe having to build according to this idiotic idea of Stinthad's, but it's too late to switch over to something more sensible. We'll move some furniture onto this platform in order to complete the dining hall. Monom should be capable of doing so, assuming she doesn't forget her job again.

26th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn



Construction of the bridge is nearly complete. Now we need only build a couple floor tiles and we will have full access to our territory. A more sensible leader would have done this early in the fort's life, but of course Stinthad didn't listen to me until a few weeks ago. The only perk to working as her advisor is that she allows me to enter any area of the fort as I please. No longer do I have to sneak into the deep mines at night while the miners are off duty just to speak to the gods. Such a hassle, and it always resulted in our conversations being incredibly brief.

The last of Dishmab's plump helmets matured a few days ago. I've ordered any dwarf with time to spare to harvest these crops, otherwise they will simply wither away or be stolen by filthy cavern dwellers. Stinthad was worried about exposing more dwarves to dangerous creatures. I reminded her that the Immortal Rags expedition in the caverns was still ongoing, and that so long as they patrol no beast will enter Reveredtour from below. This only caused her to worry more, as it has been 6 days since their expedition began. Normally she has faith in the militia, though it seems the loss of Dishmab has caused her to fixate on even the slightest possibility of death.

1st Timber, 1051, Late Autumn

The Immortal Rags came back today. They were tired, beaten, hungry, and exhausted. They attempted to slink by me but I stopped them before they could reach the food stockpile. Kosoth was missing, and I inquired as to why she had yet to show up.

I am horribly disappointed.



I can understand a civilian being bested by a cave kraken in combat, but a trained soldier? Absurd. Momuz claims that they got separated in the caverns, and that by the time they had found Kosoth she had already had her head crushed. I am not sure who is at fault here. The commander who could not even keep an eye on 2 soldiers, or the idiot that ran off on her own to wrestle giant squids in the deep. The later paid for her idiocy with her life, so I suppose I should punish Momuz. However, Stinthad did not allow me to do so. Despite having almost nothing to do with Kososth's demise, she still blames herself. Works for me.

4th Timber, 1051, Late Autumn

I noticed that Alath has a rather nasty gash running across his arm. Apparently one of the cave kraken had attempted to tear his arm off before Momuz's Earth Golem crushed its head.



He says it's nothing, but I think otherwise. A wound like that could cause him to receive an infection, which could then lead to death. However, there isn't really anything we can do about this as no one in Reveredtour possesses any medical skills. Best we can do is wait and hope for the best. The last thing I need is an incapacitated soldier.


__________________________________________________
 

Pukako

New member
Nov 29, 2010
3
0
0
Just turn on the medical skills on a random, useless dwarf. They all have to learn somehow, and it's not as though you can sue for misdiagnosis... Build a hospital, though, and go through the slow, painful process of making soap...
 

VyperX

New member
Jul 14, 2009
37
0
0
Cool stuff, Kraken... Almost makes me go back to playing DF again, except that it takes so much time.

Looking forward to seeing your H.F.S. in action :)
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Pukako said:
Just turn on the medical skills on a random, useless dwarf. They all have to learn somehow, and it's not as though you can sue for misdiagnosis... Build a hospital, though, and go through the slow, painful process of making soap...
Even if I had a skilled medical dwarf I wouldn't want to put Alath in the hospital though. I need as many active soldiers as I can get right now. I doubt anything serious will actually come from this. In my experience, medical treatment isn't as important as people make it out to be.
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Chapter 12: From the journal of Goden Ducimtathtak

__________________________________________________

10th Timber, 1051, Late Autumn

With the end of autumn rapidly approaching, our time to prepare for the caravan grows increasingly short. Yet Reveredtour is anything but ready. We have no real trade goods to exchange for supplies, our leader is an emotional train-wreck, and 2 dwarves have been killed recently. Nobody has even gotten a chance to recover their bodies and give them a proper burial. Even with my incredible skills and knowledge I am incapable of fixing the mess that Stinthad has produced. The best I can do is look through the stockpiles for anything of value we might be able to unload onto the caravans for some food and drink.

14th Timber, 1051, Late Autumn

I believe I may have found a solution to our lack of trade goods. Mechanisms are highly valued regardless of quality and thus even with a novice mechanic the fortress can profit off their work. Normally one would not want to sell mechanism as they are important to fortress construction, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I can only hope Thob is capable of producing enough of them to secure us enough supplies to last through the winter. We must also account for the inevitable influx of migrants that will surely follow the merchants. However, our current sleeping quarters can barely accommodate the current population. Another result of Stinthad's poor planning. I shall fix this design flaw as well.

Speaking of which, Stinthad has once again begun mining. I get the feeling that she wants to isolate herself from everyone else. The only person she'll have to interact with is Ushrir, and she normally keeps to herself. Well her and the gods, but they do not speak to ignorant plebs. A digger can spend years beneath the surface and not feel the gods thoughts scratching on the back of their skull. Regardless, her being down there means she is less likely to intrude upon my work.

Also, it appears that Alath has also managed to recover without medical attention. His arm isn't fully functional just yet, but the chances of him catching an infection are extremely low. He's a decent soldier, and I should probably try and get him some proper weapons and armor if possible. I don't want another disappointment that will just end up in a coffin.



19th Timber, 1051, Late Autumn

Today I woke up to a large amount of commotion coming from the entrance. Atir and a couple of other dwarves were staring across the ditch at something in the distance. I told them to get back to work, when I caught sight of what they had been staring at.



Dammit all we are not ready for them. I don't even know where Stinthad is and she's supposed to be the one to meet with the liaison. She's probably off crying in a corner somewhere down in the mines. I can only hope the gods do me a favor and mess with her mind enough to scare her out of her hole in the ground.

19th Timber, 1051, Late Autumn

So in between looking for Stinthad and trying to get the fort organized, I've taken a few moments to observe the approaching caravan. From what I can tell, the outpost liaison is acting like a bloody idiot. A herd of elephants was blocking the path to the fort, and rather than do the sensible thing and walk around them she instead opted to drive the elephants away with an axe. This resulted in a number of elephants rampaging across the wastes, trampling everything in their path. There were no injuries or damage to the fort, but hearing the cries of those massive beasts was incredibly annoying. Judging from her violent behavior, I think it's safe to assume that the liaison is Ushrir Ikudzulban. I have a long list of people I was hoping I would never have to see out here, and she's one of them. So of course she's the one that will serve as our liaison. I hope zombie conchmen crush her on the way back to the capital. The Relieved Craft would be better of without her.

After shouting a number of vulgar slurs at the cowardly Elephants, she then put on her ?public face? and entered the fort. That polite demeanor merely masks her bitter and violent behavior. Anyone with half a brain will be able to tell she's lying through her teeth most of the time. Of course, Stinthad is not one of those people so their meeting shouldn't be a problem. At least it would be if I could find her. She still hasn't come up to the surface.

So to summarize, I have a number of tried merchants proceeding to set up in the trade depot. They have many goods I need, but I have nothing to give them. A ***** of a liaison is attempting to meet with our brain dead leader. Aforementioned leader is currently depressed and nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, I'm the one who is expected to manage all of this, because the rest of the dwarves in this fortress are too simple minded to handle these tasks.

I hate Reveredtour.

__________________________________________________


Yeah, pretty small update today. Didn't want to deal with the writing behind the caravans just yet. Sorry for the general lack of content.
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
The_root_of_all_evil said:
Internet Kraken said:
Sorry for the general lack of content.
Pfft, you're already putting most of us to shame with all this writing.

Speaking of which...I should be.
My writing is peanuts compared to what other people do with DF LPs. In the Gemclod thread over on Something Awful, players are expected to put out multiple updates per day and finish off an entire year in under 12 days. I'd completley fail at doing that.
 

GodofCider

New member
Nov 16, 2010
502
0
0
I encountered dwarf fortress some time ago. It looked like, and continues to appear to be, an interesting game; something that I would consider fiddling with for a while. The problem though, was, and continues to be, the crude interface; to which I am unwilling to compromise with.
 

Chal

New member
Aug 6, 2010
293
0
0
I'm a bit late to the party, but:
Not Dishmab! What a depressing way to end Thanksgiving break.

At least the new leader is a more interesting kind of insane. Leaders cleaning up (for the greater good!) usually end up making things that much more fun. I have vague memories of a dwarf becoming obsessed with the DEEP ORE in Syrupleaf after a bout of trying to fix the chaos.

Does his communion with the gods involve the consumption of plump helmets in any form?


GodofCider said:
I encountered dwarf fortress some time ago. It looked like, and continues to appear to be, an interesting game; something that I would consider fiddling with for a while. The problem though, was, and continues to be, the crude interface; to which I am unwilling to compromise with.
Well, you've passed the first test of being willing to face the graphics if the interface is the problem. You're already that far, so why not go for it and pass one final hurdle before being rewarded with one of the most unique gaming experiences you can find.

A few hotkeys memorized and its really not as bad as it looks at first sight. I agree that it's a hassle, but it's one you only have to deal with once.
 

Engarde

New member
Jul 24, 2010
776
0
0
These stories are absolutely excellent. This may be a bit cruel, but I find your kraken troubles delightful. Harharhar.

Could you possibly recommend me a newbie tutorial? Dwarf Fortress seems so interesting, though it looks rather complicated.
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Engarde said:
These stories are absolutely excellent. This may be a bit cruel, but I find your kraken troubles delightful. Harharhar.

Could you possibly recommend me a newbie tutorial? Dwarf Fortress seems so interesting, though it looks rather complicated.
When I first started playing Dwarf Fortress I don't think I actually used any tutorials. So I'm not sure how helpful they actually are the new players. Regardless, this [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=31928.0] thread seems to have a large compilation of tutorial for new players so try reading those. Though I also highly recommend using the wiki and asking questions on the forums. There are some things you really can't just figure out on your own without a ridiculous amount of trial and error.

Remember that no two embarks in Dwarf Fortress will ever be the same. A player who embarks on a freezing glacier will experience a drastically different game than one that embarks in a temperate forest. There is no tutorial for every possible embark site, which is why it's important to ask for advice when you encounter a unique problem.

GodofCider said:
I encountered dwarf fortress some time ago. It looked like, and continues to appear to be, an interesting game; something that I would consider fiddling with for a while. The problem though, was, and continues to be, the crude interface; to which I am unwilling to compromise with.
This is a legitimate problem with Dwarf Fortress. The sheer complexity and depth of the game results in it having an incredibly bloated interface. Once you've played the game for a long time you get used to it, but it's definitely difficult to get that far.

One of the ways people work around DF's horrific interface is through modding. I would safely say that Dwarf Therapist [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=66525.0] is a necessary mod. It makes managing dwarves far easier, and when your fortress population begins to climb you're going to need it.
 

Silent_Thunder

New member
Nov 30, 2010
27
0
0
Hopefully you can get Stinthad in order before you start getting human caravans. After all we all know what happens when the human diplomats leave unhappy a few times.
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Silent_Thunder said:
Hopefully you can get Stinthad in order before you start getting human caravans. After all we all know what happens when the human diplomats leave unhappy a few times.
Yes, human logic is absurd in Dwarf Fortress. If their caravans and diplomats get killed, they don't do the sensible thing and stop trading with you or attack the civilization that killed them (usually goblins). Instead they decide to launch sieges on your fort.

Working on an update right now. May be two parts depending on how the game events unfold.
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
0
0
Chapter 13: From the journal of Ushrir Ikudzulban

__________________________________________________

2nd Limestone, 1051, Early Autumn

Well fuck me. Here I was thinking I might actually get a break from all the bullshit surrounding the Relieved Craft, but today I got a letter from Bim Rithrisen himself. Apparently I have the great "honor" of serving as the liaison for the newest fortress of the Relieved Craft, Reveredtour. I've heard fuck all about this place. You'd think a new fortress being established would be bigger news. So of course I knew there was something fishy about Reveredtour, and as usual I was fucking right.

See, Reveredtour just happens to be located on the coast of hell. Why anyone would build a fort next to the Ocean of Shriveling is beyond me. That's halfway across the Cyclopean realm, in the middle of land blighted with undead and nightmarish creatures. The closest civilization, if you can call it that, is the Spiders of Stability. A fanatic group of goblins that do what goblins do best; tear apart anyone who thinks it's a good idea to come near them. Apparently Rithrisen ordered this fort to be established for "strategic purposes. This is the kind of shit that happens when your administrator is also the military general.

Of course I didn't have any choice but to politely accept this "honor", as declining would only earn me a meeting with the hammerer. So I get to spend the next few months traveling to some hole in the ground to meet with a group of dwarves that most likely have already gotten themselves killed. Wonderful.

14th Sandstone, 1051, Mid-Autumn

God damn, we haven't even arrived at Reveredtour yet and we're already being harassed by undead. Each night an increasing variety of zombies come to try and tear our limbs of. Of course the caravan guards can deal with them, but fuck is it annoying listening to the undead moan and groan every minute of every god damn day. I don't get paid enough to do this shit.

20th Timber, 1051, Late Autumn


So, we finally arrived at Reveredtour today and...well...I don't even fucking know. What is this shit?



This is not a fortress. This is some moron's pet project. I have never seen any civilization build anything like this. Even the elves living in the middle of the forest make more sense than this. At least they're adapted to that kind of moronic lifestyle. We dwarves are not surface dwellers, yet not only does this fort force its residents onto the surface but it does so over a corrupted ocean as well. And as a testament to this forts ridiculous design, one of my first sights upon entering it was two dead dwarves lying on the ground. Hard to focus on the positive when two rotting bodies are lying 10 feet away from you.



Why was building a fortress here considered a good idea?

I suppose I should be glad those are the only dead dwarves. Despite the horrific design, Reveredtour does have a relatively large number of dwarves living in it. More than the seven I was told to expect. If I wasn't eager to get out of this place as soon as possible I might inquire as to why. Instead, I opted to find the leader of Reveredtour, Stinthad Kekimtobul, and get this meeting over with. You'd think this would be a simple task, but apparently none of the idiots living here know Kekimtobul is. They somehow managed to lose track of their leader. Eventually one of them had a semi-intelligent thought and told me to ask her advisor Goden Ducimtathtak.

Yeah, Ducimtathtak is apparently here. Serving as an advisor for this Kekimtobul, though at the moment she appears to be the expedition leader in everything but name. I honestly can't believe that they trusted Ducimtathtak to hold an important position in a fort this small. Personally I would have had her insane ass executed long ago, considering she's adamantine addled. But Rithrisen thought she had potential so she got to live. Reveredtour's leader is nowhere to be found, so it is currently being led by a psychopath. Somehow I don't see this resulting in good thing.

Ducimtathtak may be in charge of the fort at the moment, but I still have have to meet with the official leader. But even she, the fort's goddamn advisor, doesn't know where Kekimtobul is. So now I have to sit on my ass waiting for her to pop up, and who knows how long that will fucking take. What a grand place Reveredtour is.

27th Timber, 1051, Late Autumn

Fucking finally. After a week in this god damn fort Kekimtobul finally decided to show her face. It was tempting to unload all my rage on her right then, but of course I have to act all nice and polite so I don't get sentenced to a hammering for improper conduct.



Now it was pretty easy to tell why she had been hiding this whole time. She's a fucking mess. I don't know what, but something has really disturbed her. If I had to hazard a guess it would be the two dead dwarves over in the corner. I guess she wasn't ready to handle the responsibilities of an expedition leader. Not only did I have to endure a meeting with this incompetent moron, but I did so whilst sitting in the fucking dirt beneath a blistering sun.



See, Kekimtobul is apparently so stupid she didn't even make herself an office. So we had no choice but to preform business in the fort's meeting hall. The meeting hall is evidently just a patch of dirt surrounding a gazelle cage (which was engraved ?Dashy? for some reason). The longer you stay in Reveredtour to more it will continue to both amaze and disappoint you with its complete lack of quality.



I asked her what goods Reveredtour would require over the next year. She seemed surprised by this question, as if she didn't know what kind of things would be asked during this meeting. She told me that Reveredtour requires battle axes. A dwarf fortress that needs battle axes? How insane! Next she'll tell me that they require booze as well! Seriously, I don't think the idiot understood that you're supposed to ask for things the merchants won't bring along anyways.



I don't even know why I bothered to tell her what goods are currently requested by the capital, as I seriously doubt this fort will be capable of producing them. But if this place does somehow manage to produce valuable goods I might net myself a nice bonus, so no harm in asking. Of course the two priority products at the moment are crutches and musical instruments. Crutches are needed for all the dwarves that got injured during that massive cave in a few months ago. As for the musical instruments, those are part of another one of Rithrisen's idiotic projects. I an attempt to better understand the enemies of the Relieved Craft, he has requested the construction of musical instruments used by the elves so that his top researchers may study them. Because apparently in-depth examinations of wooden flutes will somehow allow him to better dismember arrogant tree-huggers. I don't understand how he can be so brilliant and stupid at the same time.



With that my meeting with Kekimtobul was finally over. I resisted the urge to tell her to fuck off and instead politely bid her farewell. Not like I can go anywhere at the moment though. The merchants haven't even gotten a chance to begin trading yet, so I'm stuck here until they finish or get fed up with Reveredtour's bullshit. Not much else to do but drink excessive amounts of alcohol in an attempt to forget that I am in this place, if only for a few hours.

__________________________________________________

I've always wanted to write something from the perspective of an outpost liaison, as these guys have the worst job imaginable. They have to travel miles to reach your fortress, which may involve crossing through hostile and hazardous terrain. But even when they reach your fort there's a good chance you'll be in lockdown, so they'll be left to fend for themselves outside. Players generally don't care much about protecting caravans later in the game.