Life of Brian
- Thread starter Cheesus333
- Start date
Brian runs inside his house and dons his +17 speed socks and runs back out to do battle with the lawn ninja.
The pair have an epic battle with thunderbolts, dark clouds, and the like until Brian knocks the ninja to the ground. Brian raises his sword high, ready to deliver the death blow when he realizes the sword he has been using all along is an inflatable carnival favor.
Can we not go to the emergency room any more. After three times it gets repetetive.
After several unneeded operations he finds he has accidently been given a sex change. It will take several months to be able to reverse the operations for plot-related reasons I'm making up right now.
Brian finds his cannibal girlfriend and discovers that she is with another, tastier man and claims to be happy, but isn't, because to be perfectly honest, she just misses the way Brian tasted.
Fortunately she is rushed off to the Emergency room for reasons that are completely different.
Brian watches the TV he had hoped to enjoy long before all this happened. Sadly, it's daytime television.
Brian watches the TV he had hoped to enjoy long before all this happened. Sadly, it's daytime television.
Brian attempts to switch the channel, only to find the remote does not work due to a lack of batteries.
Brain goes to the hardware store because they have everything you need and wins a ballpeen hammer for being the 27th customer. He forgets the batteries and takes his prize to work.
Going into the Attic of his house to fix that damned creak above his room with his new hammer and 5 nails, he finds a pigeons corpse and an old Photo album titled "Album of Old Photos".
Several spiders crawl out from where the album resides.
Several spiders crawl out from where the album resides.
Brian opens the album and finds it contains a map to his great grand father's toenail clippings jar.
Brian begins the great and arduous journey around his attic (which is obviously bigger than the rest of his house because of quantum physics). He finds the fabled jar of toenail clippings, along with a book of old magic that details how to control people by using their toenails. Upon reading this and looking out of the window, he finds that he has accidently resurrected his long dead great grandfather as a zombie.
In an attempt to stop the zombie he tries to learn how to control it using toenails. He consults the user handbook...
Luckily for him, a solitary toenail clipping lands on his forehead and resurrects him.jebussaves88 post=362.69093.663942 said:
He begins life anew as Brian the zombie.