Love, why can't you find it?
- Thread starter Timberwolf0924
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Good heavens, the amount of self-esteem in here is staggering. /sarcasm
Don't sell yourselves short, everyone.
Don't sell yourselves short, everyone.
Because I'm average looking. and i'm very emotionally uninvested in relationships now, because one girl I knew utterly trampled me emotionally. Oh, and earlier than that, a string of girls went out with me, I later found out, to see "who could dump (me) in the most spectacular way possible.".
I think the one who set me on fire won it.
I think the one who set me on fire won it.
Because the amount of times I've been personally insulted is widely disproportionate to the amount of times I've been complimented, particularly about my appearance. Only one person has ever admitted to considering me attractive, but a few dozen people have turned there heads in fear from the idea of even having to touch my hand. Its hard to keep self esteem up with that track record.
If time is money, a relationship is expensive as all hell. And I will need that money later for noodles.
I do spend a lot of time with the opposite gender at school, I'm aware of the fact that some are attracted to me, I simply lack the will/energy/time/money to indulge them. It's something I'm comfortable with and don't really worry about. Besides, love isn't real. It never is.
Now meaningless one night stands on the other hand...
I do spend a lot of time with the opposite gender at school, I'm aware of the fact that some are attracted to me, I simply lack the will/energy/time/money to indulge them. It's something I'm comfortable with and don't really worry about. Besides, love isn't real. It never is.
Now meaningless one night stands on the other hand...
It's simply not a priority at the moment. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it isn't, but the goals I've set for myself have to come first. I might ease up and start letting people back in when I'm reasonably certain that nobody can fuck up what I'm trying to accomplish, but for the time being, I don't need that level of distraction when I'm in the middle of a spinning-plate-act with these big, life-overhauling projects.
...of course, you'll hear a lot of people say that before suddenly getting wrapped up in someone else.
...of course, you'll hear a lot of people say that before suddenly getting wrapped up in someone else.
I did, much to my surprise. Take any conversation between myself and my girlfriend out of context, and you can practically hear Do You Believe in Love playing in the background.
I don't have the struggles with self-esteem or the fear of rejection so much as I'm not willing to work for it, I had one thing blow up in my face pretty good and later when I tried to reanalyze what a relationship is really about and what I needed to do to maintain one I took a step back and realized I really didn't want to do that, at least not yet. I can believe that some people have met someone that they simply clicked with but that hasn't happened for me and I'm not willing to compromise too much if it means major lifestyle changes for someone I'm going to be tired of in a few months.
In my case, it's mostly because I have no real chances at the current time to meet new girls, and partially because I'm still a little nervous considering how terribly my last relationship ended. I'm not one of those people that have SRS EMOTONAL SCARS over a bad break up, but it is much harder for me to grow to trust people at the moment.
What makes things worse is that there IS a girl that I really like, my one exception to my "no girls under 21" rule I set for myself (I'm 22, she's 18), and I think she actually has some minor feelings back. Unfortunately, a lot of potential bullshit drove us to sort of both imply without actually discussing our feelings for each other that it'd be best if we leave it at a "what if". Or, I could have been reading wrong, and it could have been just her simply, kindly, and discreetly shooting me down
Either way, if we ended up together, it'd hurt too many people in our lives. One being one of my best friends/coolest people I know, so, yeah. No go there. All for the best, though, I have no regrets.
Oh, and:
What makes things worse is that there IS a girl that I really like, my one exception to my "no girls under 21" rule I set for myself (I'm 22, she's 18), and I think she actually has some minor feelings back. Unfortunately, a lot of potential bullshit drove us to sort of both imply without actually discussing our feelings for each other that it'd be best if we leave it at a "what if". Or, I could have been reading wrong, and it could have been just her simply, kindly, and discreetly shooting me down
Either way, if we ended up together, it'd hurt too many people in our lives. One being one of my best friends/coolest people I know, so, yeah. No go there. All for the best, though, I have no regrets.
Oh, and:
Congrats on your engagement (I may be extremely late on that), good luck to you and your fiance, and an early happy birthday!Daystar Clarion said:
Of course I believe that love exists, I'm not that cynical, I just think it reasonably unlikely that I'll find anyone to love me because I'm an ugly, hollow, reticent, cowardly, shy, socially incompetent (curse you Aspergers!), nerdy, verbose, profane, dishevelled, self-loathing and generally pathetic individual with no modicum of confidence, charisma, wit, profundity, idiosyncrasy or any other characteristic that might interest anyone of either sex. Then again, I'm only 19 so it doesn't bother me that much, there's plenty of years ahead of me to find someone, even if it is pretty unlikely. Que sera, sera.
Sorry, I guess it's different for MOST people (as I am coming to realize more and more so). I guess I was just comfortable with myself because I found 'myself' much earlier than most people do (it was during my mid-high school years). I wasn't out to please or impress anyone (excluding me, of course) and to do good where I could, and I guess everything, even love, just 'flowed' naturally for me.Anoni Mus said:
I got to experience a lot in high school and I continue to do so.
I let my self get close to someone and too attached. She dumped me a few days after she said she loved me. It hurt bad, to a scary level. I've thought about never dating again.
I've seem to found someone really great now but she goes to school in a different country so I can't see her often. I have a feeling it'll work but now I have to be careful to protect my heart. I don't ever want to feel that bad again.
I've seem to found someone really great now but she goes to school in a different country so I can't see her often. I have a feeling it'll work but now I have to be careful to protect my heart. I don't ever want to feel that bad again.
Because I love tragic irony...
never fallen in love with anyone I've dated
and
never dated anyone I've fallen in love with
never fallen in love with anyone I've dated
and
never dated anyone I've fallen in love with
And from that you sound more the sort of girl me or my social circle would prefer rather than, say, girls who are extremely hot, go clubbing, and dress like skanks. Maybe that's also one of the reasons I can't find love, actually - all the girls I know or see around town are either taken or fit that description I just mentioned, i.e. skanky club whores.Girl With One Eye said:
Anyway, otherwise for me - I tend to hang around in pubs rather than clubs, I'm also quite shy, and I have a tendency to never have the courage to tell a girl I like them even when opportunity presents itself. I had three years to ask out the girl I liked at university (well, okay, less than that since she did see several guys during that time, intermittently) and never did for fear of 'ruining our friendship'. Excuses on my part, but nevertheless...