Make baseless assumptions about game characters!

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MiracleOfSound

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The Locust Queen is Marcus's mum

Marcus's dad created the Locust as a biological weapon

Dom slipped a quick shag in before he had to do the terrible thing
 

HeavyMetalHamster

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Surprisingly good thread. Good on you all!

...oh and did you know that the security NPC that escorts you through the first doors in Half-Life is having a bit of a rough time? His parents are getting a divorce and he blames himself.



Also Cole frome Infamous is really getting into the Electric Light Orchestra. The older stuff. He's afraid to tell his friends though, because he thinks they will call him a sissy-boy.
 

Nouw

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Every Chaos Space Marine Commander actually are decent people, you just have to know them that's all =D
 

TrogzTheTroll

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Gorden Freeman created a monopoly of silent auction houses where he auctioned away designer handbags and clothing until he decided to go to school to be a scientist. After deciding it was too hard to be a scientist he faked his degree but managed to move up in the world of science using his impressive ability to press buttons and move carts with crystals on them into gigantic lasers. He is also quite skilled at lever pulling.
 

7amurai

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Dec 30, 2010
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Ymbirtt said:
"Gordon Freeman" was born Petre P. Carp in Romania, and worked as a farmhand for most of his life, his amazing ability to pick up sheep and have them hover in front of his face without using his hands proving to be an incredibly useful feat for his line of work. He eventually inherited his farm from his parents, Clara and Titu, at the age of 23, following an incident with a tractor that caused them both to tragically die. Clara from injuries sustained attempting to haul it out of a bog. Titu from injuries sustained attempting to carry Clara's coffin to its final resting place.

He continued to work on his farm with little incident until he was 29 when, after a particularly prosperous year, he decided he had earned a break. He decided to take a hiking holiday in Colorado, and intended to climb Black Mesa. Unfortunately, the phrasebook that he bought himself proved to be completely useless, and after informing many passers by that his hovercraft was full of eels he decided to use the little english that he did know to simply follow what few signs he could. He eventually arrived at a tram station and boarded the train that was waiting for him.

The real Gordon Freeman, who was in fact the spitting image of Petre Carp, had, the day before, agreed to lend his lawnmower to his colleague, Barney. That morning, in carrying it to his car, he tripped over one of the cables and was knocked unconscious, rendering him unable to call in sick that day until after the events of the day.

The entire game then follows a confused Romanian man as he attempts to understand the english that everyone keeps yelling at him, and staring blankly as people tried to convey meaning to him by pointing and just letting him follow.
This...is a better story than the original.
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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Pyramid Head is a girl, it wears dresses.
Doomguy is the result of CHuck Norris, Jack Bauer, and Mr. T entering the room during his birth (yet to be disproved)
Big Daddy is a pedophile.
Gordon Freeman is homosexual.
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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7amurai said:
Ymbirtt said:
"Gordon Freeman" was born Petre P. Carp in Romania, and worked as a farmhand for most of his life, his amazing ability to pick up sheep and have them hover in front of his face without using his hands proving to be an incredibly useful feat for his line of work. He eventually inherited his farm from his parents, Clara and Titu, at the age of 23, following an incident with a tractor that caused them both to tragically die. Clara from injuries sustained attempting to haul it out of a bog. Titu from injuries sustained attempting to carry Clara's coffin to its final resting place.

He continued to work on his farm with little incident until he was 29 when, after a particularly prosperous year, he decided he had earned a break. He decided to take a hiking holiday in Colorado, and intended to climb Black Mesa. Unfortunately, the phrasebook that he bought himself proved to be completely useless, and after informing many passers by that his hovercraft was full of eels he decided to use the little english that he did know to simply follow what few signs he could. He eventually arrived at a tram station and boarded the train that was waiting for him.

The real Gordon Freeman, who was in fact the spitting image of Petre Carp, had, the day before, agreed to lend his lawnmower to his colleague, Barney. That morning, in carrying it to his car, he tripped over one of the cables and was knocked unconscious, rendering him unable to call in sick that day until after the events of the day.

The entire game then follows a confused Romanian man as he attempts to understand the english that everyone keeps yelling at him, and staring blankly as people tried to convey meaning to him by pointing and just letting him follow.
This...is a better story than the original.
You sir, deserve applause. This is brilliance in it's purest form.
(and that's one of my favorite Monty Python sketches)
 
Jun 7, 2010
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Kratos enjoys canoeing and a little bit of golfing in the summer.

Gman goes to linedancing classes every wednesday.

Nathan drake kills children and jerks off on their corpses to raiders of the lost ark.

Kain and Raziel are forced to go to family counselling sessions as part of a court order ("he possesed the body of my recently killed arch-nemesis" did not go down well in court) every wednesday (they sit behind Gman on the 7:00 bus)

John marston had his penis ripped off in a bicycle accident in 1999. Jack is adopted.

Gordon freeman is known among the vortagaunts as the unchallanged king of heavyweight 10-pin bowling.

Doviculus enjoys romantic comedies and costume dramas (he LOVES jane austen.)
 

AstylahAthrys

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Apr 7, 2010
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HG131 said:
Durandal is such an asshole because he has over 790 years of the internet in him.
Well, THAT would turn anyone into an asshole, wouldn't it? Explains why he's so sarcastic.
 
Jun 7, 2010
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Dfskelleton said:
7amurai said:
Ymbirtt said:
"Gordon Freeman" was born Petre P. Carp in Romania, and worked as a farmhand for most of his life, his amazing ability to pick up sheep and have them hover in front of his face without using his hands proving to be an incredibly useful feat for his line of work. He eventually inherited his farm from his parents, Clara and Titu, at the age of 23, following an incident with a tractor that caused them both to tragically die. Clara from injuries sustained attempting to haul it out of a bog. Titu from injuries sustained attempting to carry Clara's coffin to its final resting place.

He continued to work on his farm with little incident until he was 29 when, after a particularly prosperous year, he decided he had earned a break. He decided to take a hiking holiday in Colorado, and intended to climb Black Mesa. Unfortunately, the phrasebook that he bought himself proved to be completely useless, and after informing many passers by that his hovercraft was full of eels he decided to use the little english that he did know to simply follow what few signs he could. He eventually arrived at a tram station and boarded the train that was waiting for him.

The real Gordon Freeman, who was in fact the spitting image of Petre Carp, had, the day before, agreed to lend his lawnmower to his colleague, Barney. That morning, in carrying it to his car, he tripped over one of the cables and was knocked unconscious, rendering him unable to call in sick that day until after the events of the day.

The entire game then follows a confused Romanian man as he attempts to understand the english that everyone keeps yelling at him, and staring blankly as people tried to convey meaning to him by pointing and just letting him follow.
This...is a better story than the original.
You sir, deserve applause. This is brilliance in it's purest form.
(and that's one of my favorite Monty Python sketches)
Send it to gabe newell, HL2:ep3 will be delayed again due to a total story overhaul.
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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Secret world leader (shhh) said:
Dfskelleton said:
7amurai said:
Ymbirtt said:
"Gordon Freeman" was born Petre P. Carp in Romania, and worked as a farmhand for most of his life, his amazing ability to pick up sheep and have them hover in front of his face without using his hands proving to be an incredibly useful feat for his line of work. He eventually inherited his farm from his parents, Clara and Titu, at the age of 23, following an incident with a tractor that caused them both to tragically die. Clara from injuries sustained attempting to haul it out of a bog. Titu from injuries sustained attempting to carry Clara's coffin to its final resting place.

He continued to work on his farm with little incident until he was 29 when, after a particularly prosperous year, he decided he had earned a break. He decided to take a hiking holiday in Colorado, and intended to climb Black Mesa. Unfortunately, the phrasebook that he bought himself proved to be completely useless, and after informing many passers by that his hovercraft was full of eels he decided to use the little english that he did know to simply follow what few signs he could. He eventually arrived at a tram station and boarded the train that was waiting for him.

The real Gordon Freeman, who was in fact the spitting image of Petre Carp, had, the day before, agreed to lend his lawnmower to his colleague, Barney. That morning, in carrying it to his car, he tripped over one of the cables and was knocked unconscious, rendering him unable to call in sick that day until after the events of the day.

The entire game then follows a confused Romanian man as he attempts to understand the english that everyone keeps yelling at him, and staring blankly as people tried to convey meaning to him by pointing and just letting him follow.
This...is a better story than the original.
You sir, deserve applause. This is brilliance in it's purest form.
(and that's one of my favorite Monty Python sketches)
Send it to gabe newell, HL2:ep3 will be delayed again due to a total story overhaul.
It might be worth the wait.