Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[ShindoL Shill]

I land next to Zombie.
"Zombie, if Salt's optical situation is anything to go by, don't piss people off."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I crawl out from underneath a pile of dragons.
I stare at the corvette.
"Ummmm...It's a bit of a downgrade isn't it? I mean, from an ifinitly expanding mall to...this? Anyway, I dibs kitchen."

 

[Paddy the Second]

The men stampede through the door, yelling at each other. I run and leap off the roof saying to myself "That was a little pointless." as I fall. I crash into the ground and respawn at the space port next to the others. A pillar of red light shoots up from the tower. "Guys we should probably get offworld right now. As in right fucking now!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Paddy, I wanted to buy some porn." I sigh. "Fuck it."
I grab the nearest porn-looking magazine, Attractive Victorian Ladies, from a stand and run onto the ship.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"This was only 60% my fault at most!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I really doubt it."
I start looking at the attractive Victorian ladies.

 

[DotSlash]

I respawn in the corvette, chugging some unknown drink.
"Nice porn mag, Trilby. Lemme see it."

 

[Saltarius]

"DON'T HOG ALL THE PORN FOR YOURSELF YOU ASS!" I yell as I run through.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Why do you need print porn? Also why aren't we leaving?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Knife is slow as fuck. And the novelty of it. I can't live on audio porn alone."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You can't even look at print porn!"

 

[Saltarius]

"I can imagine it."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Then you don't even need to hold it!"

 

[DotSlash]

"Mental imagery is so strong."

 

[Saltarius]

"You don't understand. I need a medium with which to project the imagined pornographic images."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Then you could hold literally anything!"

 

[Saltarius]

"No, it needs to be a porn magazine."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me princess."

 

[Saltarius]

"We do not reveal pet names around everyone else."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Sorry."