Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[MinimanZombie]

[This is just getting ridiculous and is full of bullshit. I'm ending this.]
I wake up. Fucking hell, that dream wasn't even weird. Just stupid. Paddy is still knocked out, and Salt is also lying asleep. I sigh, and eat the rest of my cake. I then try to wake up Salt. I think about leaving a note saying we should disband temporarily, but decide against it.

 

[Saltarius]

"Sorry Paddy. But I have a blood ritual prepared for this. I summon by the powers of hell, heaven, and purgatory...

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Oh. Yeah I accidentally dropped some acid in the cake. Another group hallucination. Now we know never to disband and fight though. Because I'd win."

 

[Saltarius]

"Yeah. untilicutoutyourtonguenadarms*cough*"

So anyways, Imma go make a robo-horse. Because that shit was awesome, dream or not.

"Behold, Elorshrit V2!"

I then ride off, blasting this:

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Bullshit. None of us won. I nearly destroyed the entire fucking mall, ship, whatever."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I summoned Italian Spiderman. /thread."

 

[Knife-28]

"And it wasn't a fair fight, because I wasn't there." I say, before stabbing Miniman, lifting him over my head and flinging him at Paddy.

 

[Paddy the Second]

I phase shift out of the way before beginning to play Braid again.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I deflect the blade and kick Knife in the nuts. "Pssh. Yeah right. Wouldn't have been fair to you."

 

[Saltarius]

"Knife! We meet again!"

I flash-kick Knife into the air before leaping up and shoryukening him into the rafters. I suit the fuck up and fly after Knife. I grab him and begin to crash through several store's Knife's head first, battering-ram style. He's looking pulpy by the time we get to the pharmacy.

I step to the food court and remount Elorshrit.

"Should've been a family man."

For extra effect:

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I walk into the mall confused, and look for a knife stand after seeing the first corpse...

 

[Saltarius]

"Oh buddy, this is far from the first corpse. I'm Salt, resident badass and the guy who you don't want to fuck with. Need an example, ask anybody what happened to a guy named Xot."

"And don't even try that dinky ass knife on this suit. It's easier to break your body in half than it is to breathe with this."

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

"Oh buddy, this is far from the first corpse. I'm Salt, resident badass and the guy who you don't want to fuck with. Need an example, ask anybody what happened to a guy named Xot."

"And don't even try that dinky ass knife on this suit. It's easier to break your body in half than it is to breathe with this."

OOC: Assumed corpses are persistant, derp, mall should be littered with bodies if so...

"Okay..."

And then I jump through the window of the closest shop.

Yells "what happened to Xot?"

EDIT: Are magic or firearms valid yet or are they still locked?

 

[Saltarius]

OOC: I'm technically the only one with a 'legal' gun and Paddy's the only one with 'legal' magic but fuck if I know. GM doesn't seem to care.

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

OOC: Thanks, so that explains italian spiderman... So I should just use melee then (didnt feel like sifting through more than the first five, sorry

 

[Saltarius]

OOC: Fight how ya want man. Be wary of the badass levels of those around you when you strategize.

 

[Saltarius]

I bugger off to sleep, activating my suit's autonomous defenses for my slumber. I dream crazy shit bro. And whatever the hell is in my head isn't helping.

I dream vividly of someone getting tossed by a green asshole in a Cairo overcoat. I panic and rush to a hospital ward, trying to restrain a mad patient before tossing him off a cliff. I return to the green overcoated man and brandish my revolver. I then realize it has no bullets. Panicking, I chuck the gun at his head as I prepare another weapon quickly. He responds with...a flash of light. Oh? What's this little light on my che-oh shit. I can barely react before I'm riddled with bullets.

To be honest, things only get worse as this Lord English fucker messes with my dreams.

TL;DR:

 

[RaNDM G]

OOC: I'm technically the only one with a 'legal' gun and Paddy's the only one with 'legal' magic but fuck if I know. GM doesn't seem to care.

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH, DO YOU?!"

Salt's gun locks and cannot be fired.

Salt's suit locks in place.

Salt is immobile. And all the cyanide pills are gone.

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO SALT? WHAT ARE YOU GON- Oh hey, we passed 2000 posts."

Two metal boxes fall from the ceiling. One falls squarely in Knife's hands. Another is up for grabs.

"Actually I'm 50 posts late. I don't know how Xot managed to stay on top of this game."

 

[Saltarius]

"Ha, voice activated self-destruct, voice. Or, in this case, thought activated."

Pancakes

The suit explodes as I respawn at the bridge. I rush towards the box and open dat shit up yo.

"So let me guess, you're Xot and Sam's boss. and you hate me for killing him."

 

[RaNDM G]

The box zaps Salt with lightning, electrocuting him.

You already got yours. Let someone else have a turn.