Manly Non-Alcoholic Drinks

[Lt._nefarious]

Milk


[sub] go to about 30 seconds[/sub]

Anyway, why not just drink coke? If you down it fast enough it burns your throat so you could show of the awesome power of your iron throat... Or, if you can get it, Firey Irn-Bru, now that is a man drink...

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Don't go out! Its dangerous out there. Stay inside and play video games, the true men are currently running around as monk pandas.

In the case you get kidnapped by the CIA and forced into a dangerous outing with your friends than just drink whatever you like the taste of.
Is they say something you have three options.
Tell them the truth: You are being watched by the CIA and must stay sober in order to defend yourself and them.
Play it off: You don't want to get drunk and take home all the hot girls by accident.
Not give a fuck: Tell them you like whatever drink it is and you will damn well enjoy it.

 

[freaper]

So, I've never been a drinker but all my friends are. In the event that I'm dragged to a bar, what do you think I can order without hanging my head in shame?

H2O is still pretty reliable, I hear. You can even tell them it's vodka.

Just pull a face after every chug and smack the glass down on the table afterwards. That'll fool everyone.

 

[Zantos]

Cranberry juice

Yeah, if it wasn't manly to begin with, sure is now. Especially if you know Ray Winstone.

 

[Al-Bundy-da-G]

If it's not alcohol it has to contain some other poison, just to make sure everyone knows how BUTCH you are etc.

Mayhap some disinfection fluid? Just don't take the flowery one....

Screw that noise! Embalming fluid is the way to go. Just ask A-list actor Robert Downey Jr.

 

[Ytomyth]

*snipper*

Hahahaha, thank you! Parts of that popped up whilst writing, but I couldn't remember exactly where or what anymore. xD

 

[uzo]

Man up dude.

I won't beat around the bush here. I'm drunk most of the time I'm not at work. Hell, I'm drunk now. Had a 6 pack during the Neverending Story and then a good 1L of cask wine so far. This is on a Sunday; I *start* work tomorrow. This is as fresh as I get.


If you have a problem with your friends drinking whilst you don't, then that's your decision. If your friends have a problem with you not drinking whilst they do, then that's they're decision.

You weren't clear why you didn't drink in the opening - in my experience, the majority of people who say 'oh no, I don't drink' when offered a drink are that way because of choice, rather than necessity. It's like a vegetarian saying 'oh noes I don't eat meat what if I go to a BBQ?'. Guess what? No one's problem but your own.

Maybe you need new friends? Remember, you can choose them. And if your friendship is based upon whether you drink or not smacks of primary school 'stranger danger' bullshit to me. Act your freakin' age.

 

[Arfonious]

The way to be manly is not to care what is considered manly, just be a man and drink what you like to drink

 

[QuartzQuadreant]

A soft drink works wonders for me, but I have been known to indulge in bottles of J20. There's an exclusive bottle called Glitterberry at my local bar. Fuckin' delicious.

 

[Catfood220]

Apple juice from a whiskey glass, no one will ever know, look manly and impress your friends with your awesome drinking skills.

Unless of course anyone asks you what you want to drink.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

While I don't get the non-alcoholic stance, I suggest getting pure lemon juice with plenty of tabasco and a hint of Worcester sauce. Half a pint of that is pretty manly, methinks.

Love is automatic.

Thank you, Solve media.

 

[Ambitiousmould]

Manly drink? Non-alcoholic? BOVRIL. It's like drinking meat.

 

[Psychedelic Spartan]

Coke is always socially acceptable. If you can handle a minuscule amount of alcohol a Lemon Lime and Bitters might suit.

All of the manliest men I know swear by their Ovaltine.

Ovaltine is indeed pretty hardcore.

Tabasco Sauce.

A gallon of it.

Manliest drink on earth.

I see your Tabasco Sauce and raise you Sriracha Rooster Sauce [http://theoatmeal.com/comics/sriracha].

I believe you misspelled Mad Dog 357. The hottest hot sauce in the world. The serving size is a single drop!

CAPTCHA: power tool
Yes, that is also very manly.

 

[Naeras]

Black coffee.
Preferably so strong that your spoon will stand straight up if you put it into you cup.

 

[VeryOddGamer]

Sulphuric acid.
If you survive, your manliness level will be multiplied.

 

[El Danny]

Did anyone say Coffee yet?
Because coffee is certainly the manly drink of choice.

No.

This is:

 

[Genocidicles]

50/30/20 hot sauce with BBQ sauce and raw eggs. And have a pickled onion floating in it too.

 

[Cazza]

Water

Solid choice. It's what your body needs. Most people don't get enough.

 

[geK0]

Fuck manliness! buy a virgin margarita!