Meeting Online Friends IRL

[True Nero]

its funny. just last night me and a friend of mine were talking about meeting sometime next year at an anime convention for the first time. and i got really nervous last night to the point where i couldn't sleep. she means so much to me, but what if its the last time i ever see her or talk to her? but i have to admit after reading a bunch of the comments that prove that things CAN turn out for the best, i feel alot more confident.

to Dr. Mark and everyone who put a comment on this thread, i thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Glad to see some people are excited for Ecsapism UK: Halloween As host of said event this article is relevant to my interests. I've met a few people from the Internet IRL, and they've all turned out to be fun experiences. It's always awkward since you know them, but you don't know them. I'm sure everyone will get along fine and dandy on Halloween provided the supply of drinks, snacks, and games doesn't run out.

 

[ldwater]

People are fickle creatures and I would admit that I have experianced something similar with meeting up with some friends from a MMO.

1) Distance

You mention that their flight had landed, so I can assume that there is a significant distance between you and them - its hard to keep any sort of friendship over a large distance

2) Mystery

As weird as it sounds the less you know about someone the more you can be interested in them. When you meet someone online you never really know them, and as long as you stay focused on the game you can spend ages with someone and never even know their real name.

When you do find stuff about them its always in small pieces and each time they become a little more interesting as you know more about them.

When you meet up you can get an overload of information - you know their name, age, gender, fave football team, fave drink, etc etc. Once you know everything about them it can lose that bit of mystery and appeal about that online person. You could even find that you didn't like that person in real life and now you can't shake that impression when you meet them online.

Its like that saying goes "Never meet you're heros" - because you could find that they are nothing like you imagined and it'll leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth, so sometimes its better to live the dream than the harsh reality.

 

[lewism247]

A great way to strengthen friendships is with actual talking, Skype has been fantastic for this. I'm a bit iffy about chatrooms, people tend to be a bit odd.

Totally! Many of my college friends are now working in Japan and Oz and we chat the whole time. Sometimes crack open a beer over a skype window. It's not as weird as it sounds

I used it a fair bit when my brother went to Australia for 6 weeks, was nice.

 

[The Lizard of Odd]

I've met quite a few people IRL after online relationships actually. Both of my boyfriends I met online (First in forums, second and still current as of 4 years in World of Warcraft). Multiple friends I've met up with...three actually, in various locations, all turned out fine. I don't really chat with them anymore these days, but it was a more natural decline of social interaction, less of a direct correlation to meeting each other in real life.

So, it's sad to hear that someone would have such a negative experience from it. My primary thought would be that there is a certain amount of mystery appeal to someone you know online...and (much more likely the younger you are) once that mystery is gone, there's no more desire to maintain contact.

 

[sunpop]

Just last year I flew across the country (USA) to go stay with a couple friends of mine. The funny part being I'm a guy and they were both girls any who I landed met one we went out got lunch talked went back to their place had a lot of fun (not sexual) and nothing weird happened. We got along just as well as we did online and went out having fun or just hung around. I guess it was partly luck that it worked out because it could have been a very awkward week otherwise. The closest place I had to stay if things went bad was a few thousand miles away with no car.

Whether you choose to meet people irl or not be careful and meet up in a public place but never have assumptions that they will be exactly what you want and if they are the opposite gender don't go in thinking sex or they will be perfect.

Go there as a friend and see it as nothing more unless they have told you otherwise.

 

[Olikunmissile]

I met a girl online. Playing World of Warcraft, specifically.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_192/5835-The-MMOG-Connection

We've been married over a year. Need I say more?

Yes, please. I'd like to know exactly how everything went. Did she live near you? The full story would be nice.

Had my go at online relationships and it never worked, be nice to see where I went wrong.

 

[Brandchan]

Although one of the guildie's wives, dragged along unwillingly, had a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that half the guild members were women and one of the women (me) owned a house that didn't have crushed Cheetos on the furniture. Video games were only some stupid hobby for men, right? She made her husband quit playing shortly after that

Ugh, I really can't stand women like that. I've heard so many guys tell me they gave up some hobby they loved because their wife didn't like it. I know I wouldn't give up my hobbies so easily. Also if you married a person you should like them for who they are, not who you want them to be. Arhg.....

I've meet quite a few people I knew from the internets. My first boyfriend and I meet randomly on AOL (this was the late 90s), we dated for a time and were good friends for a long while after. I also meet the last guy I dated online through a video game message board. We dated a very long time, and while that relationship was plagued with problems, I'm still good friends with him.

Also, basically I wouldn't have my awesome group of IRL friends if I hadn't taken the chance to meet one of my online friends. I wanted to go to Katsucon one year and I mentioned it to one of my online friends and she was like come say with me. So I did. In turn at the con she wanted to meet one of her online friends. We all hit it off really well. We started going to Otakon and Katsucon as a group every year and then I started visiting them. Eventually, I moved to be near them. It was great times, there I made even friends and had a great group of people with me. Sadly, everyone had to move to find new jobs in the bad economy but I still stay in touch with everyone. Honestly, that one agreement to go to an anime con with someone I didn't know may have been one of the best choices I've ever made. The long term payout was well worth it.

That being said my preferred method of meeting people from the net today is meeting at cons. This way there is almost always something to do, and if it ends up really bad it's not that hard to politely excuse yourself to get away.

 

[Dogstile]

I met someone who i had played LOTRO with online for the best part of 2 years on new years day 2010. We slept together. She cheated on her BF to be with me and we started seeing each other regularly for 7 months before the distance thing became a problem and we went back to being just friends.

True Story.

This, with wow. And it was 3 months and not as regular due to train costs and me being a poor college student. Don't really talk all the time anymore.

Still, is cool.

I also now an american girl, we exchange gifts on christmas and birthdays, and talk. Not always all the time, but we keep in touch. I consider her to be a damn close friend.

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

I met a girl online. Playing World of Warcraft, specifically.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_192/5835-The-MMOG-Connection

We've been married over a year. Need I say more?

Fuck yes. You are an inspiration for me. I need details, I am actually going long-term with a girl I know from gaming. MMORPGS and Gears of War 2 specfically.

I met a girl online. Playing World of Warcraft, specifically.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_192/5835-The-MMOG-Connection

We've been married over a year. Need I say more?

Yes, please. I'd like to know exactly how everything went. Did she live near you? The full story would be nice.

Had my go at online relationships and it never worked, be nice to see where I went wrong.

I'm pressed for time today, but this may merit me sending a pitch to the Escapist.

 

[Gunner_Guardian]

I actually met most of my Guild that I met through Guild wars at this year's PAX (we all played Guild wars 2 too it was epic).

It was an interesting experience to say the least. At first I was a weirded out since I never had seen their faces. Then I heard them talk and I quickly realized it was the same person I had gotten to know over the years.

I got to know them better and I felt we had gotten closer. Can't wait to play through Guild wars 2 with them since I quit Guild wars years ago.

 

[Olikunmissile]

I met a girl online. Playing World of Warcraft, specifically.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_192/5835-The-MMOG-Connection

We've been married over a year. Need I say more?

Fuck yes. You are an inspiration for me. I need details, I am actually going long-term with a girl I know from gaming. MMORPGS and Gears of War 2 specfically.

I met a girl online. Playing World of Warcraft, specifically.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_192/5835-The-MMOG-Connection

We've been married over a year. Need I say more?

Yes, please. I'd like to know exactly how everything went. Did she live near you? The full story would be nice.

Had my go at online relationships and it never worked, be nice to see where I went wrong.

I'm pressed for time today, but this may merit me sending a pitch to the Escapist.

I don't mind waiting, tomorrow or whenever would be cool, or if you wanna PM.

 

[Jaranja]

Poor guy, chin up.

I'm actually planning to a meet a few people of the escapist next year, should be good if it goes ahead.

I'm sure it will be.

I met a guy on WoW that lived a few hours away. We met up and, even though we don't play WoW together or anything, we're still talking.

I also met Suki the Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Suki+the+cat] last week and we're still talking and playing together... Then again, it'd be really weird if she stopped.

 

[lewism247]

Poor guy, chin up.

I'm actually planning to a meet a few people of the escapist next year, should be good if it goes ahead.

I'm sure it will be.

I met a guy on WoW that lived a few hours away. We met up and, even though we don't play WoW together or anything, we're still talking.

I also met Suki the Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Suki+the+cat] last week and we're still talking and playing together... Then again, it'd be really weird if she stopped.

Ha ha thanks, I hope so.

It's odd how some people of a forum can turn into proper friends huh?

 

[Jaranja]

Poor guy, chin up.

I'm actually planning to a meet a few people of the escapist next year, should be good if it goes ahead.

I'm sure it will be.

I met a guy on WoW that lived a few hours away. We met up and, even though we don't play WoW together or anything, we're still talking.

I also met Suki the Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Suki+the+cat] last week and we're still talking and playing together... Then again, it'd be really weird if she stopped.

Ha ha thanks, I hope so.

It's odd how some people of a forum can turn into proper friends huh?

Yeah, it is.

Even weirder how they can turn into more than friends.

 

[lewism247]

Poor guy, chin up.

I'm actually planning to a meet a few people of the escapist next year, should be good if it goes ahead.

I'm sure it will be.

I met a guy on WoW that lived a few hours away. We met up and, even though we don't play WoW together or anything, we're still talking.

I also met Suki the Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Suki+the+cat] last week and we're still talking and playing together... Then again, it'd be really weird if she stopped.

Ha ha thanks, I hope so.

It's odd how some people of a forum can turn into proper friends huh?

Yeah, it is.

Even weirder how they can turn into more than friends.

Oh?

Do tell.

 

[Jaranja]

Poor guy, chin up.

I'm actually planning to a meet a few people of the escapist next year, should be good if it goes ahead.

I'm sure it will be.

I met a guy on WoW that lived a few hours away. We met up and, even though we don't play WoW together or anything, we're still talking.

I also met Suki the Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Suki+the+cat] last week and we're still talking and playing together... Then again, it'd be really weird if she stopped.

Ha ha thanks, I hope so.

It's odd how some people of a forum can turn into proper friends huh?

Yeah, it is.

Even weirder how they can turn into more than friends.

Oh?

Do tell.

I said.

Me and Suki.

 

[lewism247]

Poor guy, chin up.

I'm actually planning to a meet a few people of the escapist next year, should be good if it goes ahead.

I'm sure it will be.

I met a guy on WoW that lived a few hours away. We met up and, even though we don't play WoW together or anything, we're still talking.

I also met Suki the Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Suki+the+cat] last week and we're still talking and playing together... Then again, it'd be really weird if she stopped.

Ha ha thanks, I hope so.

It's odd how some people of a forum can turn into proper friends huh?

Yeah, it is.

Even weirder how they can turn into more than friends.

Oh?

Do tell.

I said.

Me and Suki.

Oh yeah

'facepalm'

Congrats btw.

 

[Jaranja]

Poor guy, chin up.

I'm actually planning to a meet a few people of the escapist next year, should be good if it goes ahead.

I'm sure it will be.

I met a guy on WoW that lived a few hours away. We met up and, even though we don't play WoW together or anything, we're still talking.

I also met Suki the Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Suki+the+cat] last week and we're still talking and playing together... Then again, it'd be really weird if she stopped.

Ha ha thanks, I hope so.

It's odd how some people of a forum can turn into proper friends huh?

Yeah, it is.

Even weirder how they can turn into more than friends.

Oh?

Do tell.

I said.

Me and Suki.

Oh yeah

'facepalm'

Congrats btw.

Heh.

Thanks a bunch :3