Meeting Online Friends IRL
- Thread starter Mark J Kline
- Start date
I had a bunch of online friends I used to regularly Skype chat with. By the time those of us who lived in the same city did a meet up, we knew each other so well that it wasn't even an issue. Even though a few of us were different ages, it was still not unlike just chilling with school friends, because we were already so relaxed from being able to talk and laugh with each other about nothing for however long we'd Skype.
That said, I would probably never meet up with anyone that I didn't know as well as those people. Unless it was like at a convention where people are bound to show up, but then I probably wouldn't even know who anyone was without asking anyway.
That said, I would probably never meet up with anyone that I didn't know as well as those people. Unless it was like at a convention where people are bound to show up, but then I probably wouldn't even know who anyone was without asking anyway.
It's weird in the variety of people you find online. In WoW for instance, There were 2 major individuals who impacted on me. One was of a similar age to me, and of the opposite gender, and we briefly flirted but her maturity came between us. On the other hand, the very first person I met, and maintained a friendship with for months to this very day, turns out is over twice my age and a lecturer at a surgeons college in Ireland. So I guess age does have a thing to do with it, I can imagine if we met in person we would get on as well as we do online, yet people of a similar age seem to be somewhat less stable.
Drink runs out?!thenumberthirteen said:Glad to see some people are excited for Ecsapism UK: HalloweenAs host of said event this article is relevant to my interests. I've met a few people from the Internet IRL, and they've all turned out to be fun experiences. It's always awkward since you know them, but you don't know them. I'm sure everyone will get along fine and dandy on Halloween provided the supply of drinks, snacks, and games doesn't run out.
Ahem. OT: I've attended two Escapisms myself, and loved every minute of both. Near enough everyone goes into these sort of meetings with the same nervous do-I-know-them-do-I-not mindset, so you know you're not alone in thinking that sort of thing.
Unless they're one of the small minority of utter plonkertossers you hear about.
"Plonkertosser" is not a copyrighted insult. Feel free to use it if you don't get enough strange looks from people.
Due to funding issues I could only get 8 litres of Mountain Dew. I'll be getting other drinks too when I do my Halloween shop next week at Tescos.DragonsAteMyMarbles said:Drink runs out?!thenumberthirteen said:Glad to see some people are excited for Ecsapism UK: Halloween
People haven't told me which drinks they like/dislike. I don't want to get the wrong thing.
Well, I think if you join a group, be it for an online game or an RPG on LJ, the key to having a successful friendship is if you can actually talk about more than your single interest. It also helps that even if you really click with this person give it at least a year's worth of conversation to see if it will last.
I chatted with a few people in 1997 online and I went out to meet them. My parents were not completely ready to trust me so my mom and her sister went with me. They would go tour around (it was near Chicago) and I would hang out with these friends. Then I would come back in the evening to go to the hotel. From that meeting, I met two people online. One of them I was a little weirded out for whatever reason. The other person I hit it off great.
We're still friends today. We went to Pax East together. It's good to know people around there, especially during that time of year!
I chatted with a few people in 1997 online and I went out to meet them. My parents were not completely ready to trust me so my mom and her sister went with me. They would go tour around (it was near Chicago) and I would hang out with these friends. Then I would come back in the evening to go to the hotel. From that meeting, I met two people online. One of them I was a little weirded out for whatever reason. The other person I hit it off great.
We're still friends today. We went to Pax East together. It's good to know people around there, especially during that time of year!
Poor guy who wrote in. =[ It sucks when friends stop contacting you, offline or online.
But as @The_root_of_all_evil said, we've had some successful meetups here on the Escapist. >_> Hell, next month Me and another Escapist are gonna become roomates to save money on rent. xD I guess it depends on the crowd.
As Dr Mark said though, you have to be pretty careful and think about all the pros and cons of meeting people online, and having a friend or parent go with you the first time is a good idea. (I actually went all by myself... but I took a lot of precautions, I even took a mini pepper spray xD Don't tell the Esc UK people!)
It's also better to get to know the people you're meeting properly first, I spent almost a year getting to know the other members via skype and twitter first before meeting up. ^^
It was awesome though, and we're doing it again next year too!
But as @The_root_of_all_evil said, we've had some successful meetups here on the Escapist. >_> Hell, next month Me and another Escapist are gonna become roomates to save money on rent. xD I guess it depends on the crowd.
As Dr Mark said though, you have to be pretty careful and think about all the pros and cons of meeting people online, and having a friend or parent go with you the first time is a good idea. (I actually went all by myself... but I took a lot of precautions, I even took a mini pepper spray xD Don't tell the Esc UK people!)
It's also better to get to know the people you're meeting properly first, I spent almost a year getting to know the other members via skype and twitter first before meeting up. ^^
It was awesome though, and we're doing it again next year too!
One of my best friends of all time I met through Halo 2. He led me onto other games, giving me more experience in things I normally wouldn't of touched, and even renewed my interests in MMO's. After talking for 2 years we decided (with his family) that I should and could come up for his birthday.
An important note here is I live in North Carolina and he in Alberta Canada. Anywho I was exciting but somewhat worried along the way. We had much video and audio chat on skype and other programs, but I knew some things could be edited so it was a constant concern that was quickly wiped after I tackled him outside the airport.
Was truely one of the greatest weeks I've ever had.
A note though for anyone visiting a friend out of country you met online, don't tell Customs that. Was a fun few moments in "The Room" trying to figure out if I was a pedophile or not -.-
An important note here is I live in North Carolina and he in Alberta Canada. Anywho I was exciting but somewhat worried along the way. We had much video and audio chat on skype and other programs, but I knew some things could be edited so it was a constant concern that was quickly wiped after I tackled him outside the airport.
Was truely one of the greatest weeks I've ever had.
A note though for anyone visiting a friend out of country you met online, don't tell Customs that. Was a fun few moments in "The Room" trying to figure out if I was a pedophile or not -.-
While i was still playing in wow, one of my friend got to know this one guy from the same county we were introduced and i got to know a whole bunch of people. Me and my friend have been hanging out online with them.
Then this summer we were invited to their once a year LAN that lasted for a whopping 5 days straight. We all had fun and while the looks differed a lot the personalities were pretty much what i was used to.
Anyways.. Afterwards we've been well in touch and still hang out regularly on the same teamspeak and play games online.
Then this summer we were invited to their once a year LAN that lasted for a whopping 5 days straight. We all had fun and while the looks differed a lot the personalities were pretty much what i was used to.
Anyways.. Afterwards we've been well in touch and still hang out regularly on the same teamspeak and play games online.
When I met a majority of the people in my Clan/community for the first time at the i Series, it wasn't all that odd cos of the amount of time spent talking to them online. Plus, with the jobs they had etc a big skill was breaking that social ice before it's even begun to form.
Also, I'm not that different online as I am in real life: still weird, I still moan a lot (not because I'm miserable, I just enjoy the concept of "moans"), still in a state of "eh, so what".
Also, I'm not that different online as I am in real life: still weird, I still moan a lot (not because I'm miserable, I just enjoy the concept of "moans"), still in a state of "eh, so what".
Wow... crazy that you actually say something like that. That's one of a few reasons why, I believe, a friendship between me and a gradually broke down to a thinly-veiled "fuck off" which then resulted in a swift and outright "fuck you and everything you stand for".Nightfalke said:
Anyway, so far some of my friends on Live that I've met in real life has gone pretty well. There's a guy that goes con-hopping (read: goes to various anime conventions) as much as I do, and we often run into each other in the game room. Good times await. Back in February, I met a bunch of friends who happen to live a quick train ride away (save one - he flew in from fucking Arkansas). It was great - matches, pizza and subs every day, color commentary during a [failed] speed run... good times.
Then again, to piggyback on what the person I quoted above said, we all have kept in contact through Live constantly. We have a pretty good understanding of each other's characters, even if a few details tend to get blown out of proportion on occasion (such as a friend saying that I'll sometimes put something of his in "a negative light"... we've known each other for 6 years, I think he would know when I'm truly being negative about something). SO I think being able to congregate through voices helps immensely in judging a person's character. You know, tonal inflection and whatnot.
This reminds me, I need to gain some perspective on something...
Whilst I never met anybody through 'gaming' I've met all of my partners online, so that's been largely a positive experience. Obviously it's not a risk free exercise, but what isn't? I think it's a pity that negative experiences get pounced upon, but given this is an advice column, I somehow doubt people will ask for much advice on positive things that went well.
If I may chip in: Despite the fun everyone may have had during a meet for the first time, it is always awkward. There's a fairly strong possibility that they could not fully handle that connection, and just decided to let go.
I do have a question, though. How long has it been since you saw them? I know the first time I met one of my friends online it was a while before we could shake the awkward feeling.
I do have a question, though. How long has it been since you saw them? I know the first time I met one of my friends online it was a while before we could shake the awkward feeling.
I agree with you on that. Even if it's someone you've been in contact with for a while and you meet them, it IS still weird. I guess it's because that person only existed as words or a voice and now they're actually in front of you!crazypsyko666 said:
I had that happen where I'd met a group of people that we had a game with and I felt really awkward the whole weekend. If you're with a group of people online you can chat about whatever you want and however adult you want it. But to do that in a family sort of restaurant when people can overhear you? That just made me cringe. I never did meet that group again in person and sometime later, just left that group.
No, but I think a lot of people are wary about meeting online friends. Adult or minor, there's a lot of things to consider, but I think a lot of people 'round here are smart enough to know the risks.Kirch Libre said:
Personally if I were going to meet up with my online friends, I'd do it by meeting at something like these Escapisms (which sound really cool btw, if I were in the area I'd join), or going to a con and meeting up. If things aren't so horribly awkward that you can't stand to see each other again, then maybe try for a more one-on-one meeting.
An online friend of mine, who actually went to the Netherlands to visit a friend (she's from the UK), has this great quote about online vs RL friendships. "There's a lot gained from being around someone physically. If you can't scratch yourself around them, it won't work out."