Metroid Film...by Uwe Boll starring... Jessica simpson

[CloggedDonkey]

If this movie is ever made I will build a Dalek war suit and end the world with it.

But then the prime minister of England will call a doctor in a blue box to come and blow you up.

OT: I just don't see this as being real. No one trusts Uwe Boll to make anything anymore, not just video game movies, so I doubt this is real.

 

[super_mumbles]

I'm not one bit worried. I heard this exact story about 7 years ago and nothing ever came of it.
Would be interesting to see how Hollywood would make a Metroid movie.

 

[Enigma6667]

"Is there any good to come from a project like this?"

*Ahem* IT'S FUCKING UWE BOLL!!! He only exists to be a mainstream troll that makes shitty adaptation films just for the mere sake of pissing off fans of the game. And now that he's going all out on a fucking NINTENDO franchise, his master diabolical plan will finally be complete. The bastard.

 

[MaVeN1337]

OH THE HORROR!

/Criesofwoe

 

[jhf2112]

Uwe Boll? Didnt he make that shitty Alone in the dark flick, christ help us all.

 

[Tharwen]

Oh, gods no. Keanu Reeves in Cowboy Bebop I will tolerate, but this, this is...SPARTA madness.

Madness? This... Is... Going to be a really bad film!

Let's pray the gods are good and send a tornado through the set, carrying off Boll and leaving everyone else intact, thereby restoring their sanity and allowing them to realize the mess they've created.

It just... Makes no sense!

Who could possibly decide that this is a good idea? It's not even a vastly popular franchise ('vastly' is important).

Also, Samus is basically a mute protagonist! You can't make her speak!

This has the potential to be amazing. That is, as long as Uwe Boll and Jessica Simpson are removed from the equation. I'm serious, if they do any harm to my favourite franchise...words can't even describe...

Look at this article: http://movies.ign.com/articles/109/1095682p1.html

"Ms. Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to its core story of love and adventure,"

Really? You're fucking kidding me, right? Love? Does that sound like Metroid at all?

So the plot of an FPS about shooting aliens... Is too complex? Dammit we need Yahtzee here to describe how stupid this is.

 

[rekabdarb]

Uwe Boll? Didnt he make that shitty Alone in the dark flick, christ help us all.

and bloodrayne, Dungeon siege (In the name of the King, A Dungeon Siege tale), House of the dead, alone in the dark... all i can think of atm

 

[I Max95]

they need to lock that guy away for atempt at franchise murder and full on franchise murder
he didnt suceed with Far cry thank god

this ...i hope it isnt real and i hope Uwe Boll realizes that he is really doing bad things with his life

plus how the fuck would he get the rights to a franchise from a million dollar company who already was burned because of a bad video game adaptaion to a movie.come to think of it how does that hack get rights to any of his franchises
HOW!
i really hope that he is doing this with no permission and is sued into oblivion because this is just sad

 

[meglathon]

power level 0.001 so bad

 

[LightspeedJack]

No way would Nintendo let this happen. I call bullshit.

 

[rekabdarb]

"Ms. Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to its core story of love and adventure,"

the lulz have ensued good sir, and thanks for the other link i added to the top

 

[hazabaza1]

Oh... no?
Don't watch it, if it does come out. Simple as.

 

[HarmanSmith]

Even if it's a joke, I can't take that chance. It must be purged. Time to find a jetpack minigun and end Uwe Boll's reign of terror once and for all.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Metroid has been attempted as a movie half a dozen times, and Nintendo has sworn they will make no more movies.

You've been punk'd, sir.

yeah, but ninento likes the amount of FABULOUS MONEY they get from the people who buy the same thing 3 times.

edit: so the chances of it being real are the same to fake in my opinion

There are no chances. It's fake.

Live-action movie

In 2003, two producers optioned the rights to create a movie based on Metroid, but the rights expired.[3] John Woo reacquired the rights a few years later, and Lion Rock Productions was to produce and release the film before 2006, but it either has been canceled or remains in development hell.[3][45] On April 1, 2005, IGN posted an April Fool's Day article reporting critically panned director Uwe Boll would be directing the Metroid movie, with Samus being portrayed by Michelle Rodriguez, who stated the Nintendo GameCube is for kids. In 2010, IGN posted an article about potential video game movies and their current status. Metroid was marked as "Dormant." They stated that the last time that the movie was mentioned was in 2004 and that the movie was likely canceled.

EDIT: *****'en

 

[Instant K4rma]

All Hell has broken loose. Time to gear up.

 

[pwnzerstick]

I don't get why people still get worked up about this. Birds fly, fish swim, and Uwe Boll makes shitty game movies. So I guess I'm so used to it that I don't blame him, instead I'm wondering why Nintendo is letting him use their IP. Ya, to all you developers and Publishers out there, if you don't want your series destroyed by the worst director next to Ed Wood and M. Bay, just dont give him the licence! Yes, its that simple!

 

[teqrevisited]

This begs the question: Why is Uwe Boll still alive? And who would sign him to work on anything anyway? I thought he was largely avoided.

 

[Thunderhorse31]

Well, at least the picture in the link is pretty fantastic, even if the news isn't.

 

[The Night Shade]

It sounds horrible but what can you expect?

 

[CK76]

I'll cringe when it becomes official.