Modern Warfare 2 Jokes

[SelectivelyEvil13]

"Modern Warfare 2 was created by a multi-cultural team of varying races, religions, and ethnic backgrounds."

"Modern Warfare 2 portrays a fictional storyline based on actual events."

Warning: Gameplay may change during online play:
Soap: "YOU RUINED MY KILLSTREAK NOOB!!! I'M GONNNA HACK YOUR RUSSIA!!!"
Makarov: "LOLOLOLOL!!! HAX BACK!!!"
Soap: "NO FAIR SERIOUS NUKE IS SERIOUS!!!"

 

[CACAVILLE]

Modern Warfare 2 has a deep and meaningful storyline. It was also one of the longest games i've ever played.

you make me laugh

 

[CaptainKoala]

"Ramirez! Take out that tank with your knife!"

Also

"Ramirez! Disarm that nuke with your forehead!" -Sgt. Foley.

"Ramirez! Untangle my noodles!"

 

[CaptainKoala]

In the single player campaign of Modern Warfare 2,You only have one perk: One man army

best so far.

So I hear Modern Warfare 2 has been banned in Russia over the controversy over the "No Russian" level.

Apparently the major dispute is that you move too slow and some innocents manage to escape.

Spoiler: Added picture for teh lulz.

You, my dear sir, have made my day.

That's "Dear Ma'm" actually.

This is somewhat off topic, but I have a bunch of question about the plot that I still haven't figured out and if someone could answer I would appreciate it, in the spoiler:

Spoiler

What is up with the "special" Russian you find dead with all the tattoos? The one near the dead contact.

Why didn't the CIA just explain to the Russian Government the whole undercover spy thing? Why didn't the other Russian guys that died along the way (the guys in your mob thing) give the game away?

Why did Shepherd feel it was necessary to kill Roach and Ghost to get the ACS modules thing that I was trying to give him anyway? So far to that point I had faithfully carried out all his order to the letter, even torturing people and killing civilians to complete the mission and suddenly he turns on me, why?

Probably some other stuff that I forgot about too, but whatever.

Thanks for any help in advance.

P.S. To contribute to the topic: What do you call any weapon, perk, or strategy in the game? Noob.

1. I'm pretty sure he was one of Makarov's men.
2. I dunno, maybe Russia wouldn't believe them?
3. He knew Ghost and Roach would try to stop him, so he had them killed.
OT: It's the most balanced game I've ever played.

1: why would he be dead and why would it matter? who would know?
2: doesnt explain makarovs men and also, the government isnt that retarded.
3: stop them doing what?

1. Yes, the game explains that very poorly (as in not at all)
2. When an American gets framed for the deaths of several thousand unarmed Russian citizens, the Russian government would be a little skeptical of any statements the US makes to try to cover/protect itself.
3. I think the first guy was wrong. My opinion is that Shepherd became so obsessed with killing Makerov that he wanted to take all the credit for it himself. And he couldn't do it if Roach, Ghost, Price, and Soap were still alive. That sounds a lot more believe able to me than what the last guy said.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Modern Warfare 2
...yes that's my joke.

i thought mw2 was a joke in its own right, do we really need to make fun of it more?

These. Really do we need to make it sad more?

how about jokes about how MW2 is a joke?

In Soviet Russia, Quoting Bandwagon jumps on you!

Also, Modern Warfare 2 is so stupid it thinks Dual wielding shotguns in multiplayer would be a good idea!

Man, good think they weren't really that stupi-Oh wait.

I'm sorry, I'll leave now.

 

[HeySeansOnline]

I have a good COD4 joke. So let's say you get a girl In bed, and you pull out a condom. Say "I like to keep this around for close encounters." But pray she says "Too right mate." Or else It would most likely be horribly awkward.

As for MW2, I like to go up to gamer friends and go "STAR!" and If they don't say "Texas." I punch them In the shoulder.

 

[toastmaster2k8]

Any of the Sergent Foley memes.

Also, the number of times they say "Oscar Mike" in the SP is laughable. Is it really that hard to say "On the Move" or "We are mobile"?

Thats how they say it in the army... It makes it easier to understand over the radio apparently.

OT: Modern Warfare 2, Is by far the most realistic representation of military equipment and tactics, especially on multiplayer

Mike Whiskey India Sierra Alpha Juliet Oscar Kile Echo India November India Tango Sierra Sierra Echo Lima Foxtrot Lima Oscar Lima

 

[Gravyshanks the Pirate]

in mw2 skill = whos better at grenade spamming.

I'm better at grenade spamming.

No no no, it's who's better at grenade LAUNCHER spamming, or even worse, who's better at sprinting around and knifing everyone they see, regardless of whether they're shot or whether they run over a claymore (which has lasers WHY? They use friggin' tripwires...) and then there is of course the whole issue with soldiers getting to choose superpowers beforehand, and getting shot in the leg will only splash strawberry jam on the players screen, rather than cripple them. Just... Screw trying to rationalize it. I don't care if they say it's realistic, it's about as realistic as Halo, and less balanced, with a production team who care less about their customers.

 

[x434343]

This is somewhat off topic, but I have a bunch of question about the plot that I still haven't figured out and if someone could answer I would appreciate it, in the spoiler:

Spoiler

What is up with the "special" Russian you find dead with all the tattoos? The one near the dead contact.

Why didn't the CIA just explain to the Russian Government the whole undercover spy thing? Why didn't the other Russian guys that died along the way (the guys in your mob thing) give the game away?

Why did Shepherd feel it was necessary to kill Roach and Ghost to get the ACS modules thing that I was trying to give him anyway? So far to that point I had faithfully carried out all his order to the letter, even torturing people and killing civilians to complete the mission and suddenly he turns on me, why?

Probably some other stuff that I forgot about too, but whatever.

Thanks for any help in advance.

P.S. To contribute to the topic: What do you call any weapon, perk, or strategy in the game? Noob.

Spoiler

The 'special' Ruskie seems to be one of Makarov's men who snuck in with the invasion force to take out specific anti-Ultranationalist targets. Least that's what I think.
The Russian government was pissed, and besides, does the CIA really have the right to kill hundreds of civilians and police force in order to *maybe* catch a terrorist leader?
Probably Russian coverup.
Shepherd betrayed us because he wasn't fighting America's war. He was fighting a war to create nationalism within the US. More troops and power for him. You and Ghost were remnants of the 141, which seems to have been dissolved during that mission. Maybe the whole thing is a Xanatos Gambit.

Answered for you.

And for the number of times 'Oscar Mike' is used, consider this. What'll be more likely to be misinterpreted?
OS-kar My-kuh? Not a whole lot to confuse it with
On the move? Pawn the groove.

 

[captaincabbage]

"Ramirez! Take out that tank with your knife!"

Also

"Ramirez! Disarm that nuke with your forehead!" -Sgt. Foley.

"Ramirez! Untangle my noodles!"

"Ramirez! Make me some toast with a grenade launcher!"

 

[Mr. Gency]

Don't bring a knife to a gun fight my ass!

 

[Mr. Gency]

"Ramirez! Take out that tank with your knife!"

Also

"Ramirez! Disarm that nuke with your forehead!" -Sgt. Foley.

"Ramirez! Untangle my noodles!"

"Ramirez! Make me some toast with a grenade launcher!"

"Ramirez! Light that building on fire with a bucket of water!"

"What the... you really did did it?"

 

[Jezzascmezza]

A man walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "Have you heard of this game called Modern Warfare 2?"
The man replies: "Yeah, why?"
The bartender then says: "It's a broken piece of shit."
This comment infuriates the man, who proceeds to pull out a knife and instantly teleports right up to the man's face, stabbing him.

The moral of the story is that a beta should always be used for a huge online game that half the world's population will experience.

 

[Grayjack]

In the single player campaign of Modern Warfare 2,You only have one perk: One man army

best so far.

So I hear Modern Warfare 2 has been banned in Russia over the controversy over the "No Russian" level.

Apparently the major dispute is that you move too slow and some innocents manage to escape.

Spoiler: Added picture for teh lulz.

You, my dear sir, have made my day.

That's "Dear Ma'm" actually.

This is somewhat off topic, but I have a bunch of question about the plot that I still haven't figured out and if someone could answer I would appreciate it, in the spoiler:

Spoiler

What is up with the "special" Russian you find dead with all the tattoos? The one near the dead contact.

Why didn't the CIA just explain to the Russian Government the whole undercover spy thing? Why didn't the other Russian guys that died along the way (the guys in your mob thing) give the game away?

Why did Shepherd feel it was necessary to kill Roach and Ghost to get the ACS modules thing that I was trying to give him anyway? So far to that point I had faithfully carried out all his order to the letter, even torturing people and killing civilians to complete the mission and suddenly he turns on me, why?

Probably some other stuff that I forgot about too, but whatever.

Thanks for any help in advance.

P.S. To contribute to the topic: What do you call any weapon, perk, or strategy in the game? Noob.

1. I'm pretty sure he was one of Makarov's men.
2. I dunno, maybe Russia wouldn't believe them?
3. He knew Ghost and Roach would try to stop him, so he had them killed.
OT: It's the most balanced game I've ever played.

1: why would he be dead and why would it matter? who would know?
2: doesnt explain makarovs men and also, the government isnt that retarded.
3: stop them doing what?

I dunno, that's the best I could come up with. I think Ghost and Roach would have tried to stop him.

 

[Stuntcrab]

Captain Price is a hygienic kinda guy. Even after nearly getting killed by Shepard, the first thing he demanded was a bar of soap.

That was perfect!

 

[Mehall]

Well the whole "RAMIREZ ----" has become a meme now.
Some of them people have made are funny.

I felt compelled to post in this thread for some strange reason.


(hint: look left)

 

[omega 616]

Any of the Sergent Foley memes.

Also, the number of times they say "Oscar Mike" in the SP is laughable. Is it really that hard to say "On the Move" or "We are mobile"?

Thats how they say it in the army... It makes it easier to understand over the radio apparently.

OT: Modern Warfare 2, Is by far the most realistic representation of military equipment and tactics, especially on multiplayer

Mike Whiskey India Sierra Alpha Juliet Oscar Kile Echo India November India Tango Sierra Sierra Echo Lima Foxtrot Lima Oscar Lima

That took me quite awhile to read!

To save people the effort (MW is a joke in it's self lol).

Blast shield = reduces explosive damage ... except off AC130's or chopper gunners.

The riot shield, it's not already hard enough to kill with it when it's in good condition, now you want me to kill what I can't see!

 

[PissOffRoth]

No no no, it's who's better at grenade LAUNCHER spamming, or even worse, who's better at sprinting around and knifing everyone they see, regardless of whether they're shot or whether they run over a claymore (which has lasers WHY? They use friggin' tripwires...) and then there is of course the whole issue with soldiers getting to choose superpowers beforehand, and getting shot in the leg will only splash strawberry jam on the players screen, rather than cripple them. Just... Screw trying to rationalize it. I don't care if they say it's realistic, it's about as realistic as Halo, and less balanced, with a production team who care less about their customers.

MW2 wouldn't be the ass of every joke if they didn't claim to be realistic.

 

[Gravyshanks the Pirate]

No no no, it's who's better at grenade LAUNCHER spamming, or even worse, who's better at sprinting around and knifing everyone they see, regardless of whether they're shot or whether they run over a claymore (which has lasers WHY? They use friggin' tripwires...) and then there is of course the whole issue with soldiers getting to choose superpowers beforehand, and getting shot in the leg will only splash strawberry jam on the players screen, rather than cripple them. Just... Screw trying to rationalize it. I don't care if they say it's realistic, it's about as realistic as Halo, and less balanced, with a production team who care less about their customers.

MW2 wouldn't be the ass of every joke if they didn't claim to be realistic.

Exactly! That just makes the game come off as retarded, because it compels everyone to look for unrealistic aspects.

 

[PissOffRoth]

Exactly! That just makes the game come off as retarded, because it compels everyone to look for unrealistic aspects.

And boy oh boy are there a lot of unrealistic aspects.