Mojang Crushes Valve, Opens "The Minecraft Store"

[Avatar Roku]

My respect for minecraft and Notch is gone.

you gotta be fucking kidding me! that's 100% mann co store rip off. should i take this seriously or as joke, its really hard to decide.

Just because Valve is a corporate machine doesn't mean they aren't an awesome one with fresh ideas. Also, they are technically indie (not under a separate publisher). Anyway, a tip of the hat to Notch for making one the of greatest games of all time and going so far with it!

Only a "good" game? Mojang is a fantastic, industry revolutionising work of art that has finally achieved recognition with it's achievements in the widely-renown March Mayhem competition. Valve's own attempt a shop pale in comparison, a feeble candle to the solar brilliance that surrounds Notch's blessed crown.

What makes the disparity between these two companies is that, in possibly the first occasion in history, your 'am I the only one' question was in fact true - you are the only person playing TF2; everyone else left after the AI was implemented. I guess that's testament to at least Valves' ingenuity in the AI department, but even that shrivels to the elegance of Notch's creations; the directness of the zombies' advances and the sneakiness of the thrice-damned Creeper create a perfect synthesis of tactics to create the most fearsome experience achievable in game.

For fucks sake man, you sound like a Jehovah witness on crack. I'm pretty sure you're just trying to be funny and this comment did really make me laugh about how over-blown your making everything. I like Minecraft, but I guess I don't have the time for it between college, hanging with my friends, and a very large WoW addiction.

As for the store, I didn't really pay for anything with the TF2 Mann Co. Store and I probably won't pay for anything there if I ever do get back around to Minecraft during the summer break.

You all fail at detecting a joke. You know what? Go on the store linked in the article, and buy something. All will become clear soon enough.

 

[Kurokami]

Other items up for grabs include padlocks, enlargement pills and a response from the support department.

I was wondering when that Viagra mod would kick in!

 

[BoredDragon]

You all fail at detecting a joke. You know what? Go on the store linked in the article, and buy something. All will become clear soon enough.

You make me :,( but yes I do admit to not getting the joke. However, I've had so many Minecraft fans bitching at me for saying Mojang shouldn't have won its hard to distinguish the jokes from the idiots.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

The concept of a "Company Store" selling low-priced virtual novelty items for use in a videogame is certainly a fresh one and I think Notch and the rest of the team at Valve [http://www.mojang.com/], who just don't have what it takes to come up with this kind of original idea. Good job, Notch!

See, this is why I hate sarcasm in text. This could either be someone being very sarcastic, someone who's trolling, or someone who really doesn't know that plenty of other games have done this before (including Team Fortress 2 selling hats). There's no tone of voice, no facial expressions, just cold text.

I mean, okay, in this context I guess it's safe to say we're dealing with sarcasm here considering that someone who writes about games every day should know that it's not an original idea, but regardless, perfect example. Obvious sarcasm works, no sarcasm works, but this kind of thing where it could go either way drives me nuts.

Oh come on, the 'bloated corporate machine' line was a dead giveaway. Also, people have been successfully writing textual satires for hundreds of years and getting their point across without any vocal modulation or facial expressions. If you're after a good laugh, read Swift's 'A Modest Proposal' sometime. The signs of sarcasm are fairly obvious; don't complain that other people should make their humour more obvious because you aren't familiar with satire.

Besides, how many of you people did not consider for even one second what day it is?

 

[lumenadducere]

I have to say thank you to all those who fell for it. You made me laugh and brightened my evening.

EDIT - Just realised: America writes the date as 1/4, the update that added these things to the game was Beta 1.4. Coincidence? I hope not, that's the cleverest part of the whole thing if deliberate.

What? No we don't. 1/4 is January 4th. 4/1 would be April 1st. You're thinking of some other country.

 

[Snotnarok]

My head is gonna explode, people think it's real. Oh my God this is like when Homestarrunner.com had the "Free Tour" and credit card required people didn't catch on that it's a joke.

 

[Logic 0]

How would a creeper saddle even work with out you dieing.

 

[ilspooner]

I found a locked chest in minecraft. I did not buy a key. Notch will have to do better than that!

 

[Formica Archonis]

(Looks over posts.) Wow. I think I'll call the UN and see if they can airdrop us some RTFA [http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/RTFA]. Some posters are in desperate need of it.

How would a creeper saddle even work with out you dieing.

It's tricky. Step 1: Craft a quiver, a gear, and three sponges.

 

[Ophiuchus]

I have to say thank you to all those who fell for it. You made me laugh and brightened my evening.

EDIT - Just realised: America writes the date as 1/4, the update that added these things to the game was Beta 1.4. Coincidence? I hope not, that's the cleverest part of the whole thing if deliberate.

What? No we don't. 1/4 is January 4th. 4/1 would be April 1st. You're thinking of some other country.

...yes. I am, in fact, thinking of my own country.

What the hell, brain?

 

[Baldr]

The real April Fools Joke is that Majang didn't really win all those rounds.

 

[blankedboy]

PORTAL WAS THE MOST ORIGINAL THING ANYONE IN THIS INDUSTRY HAS COME UP WITH IN THE PAST DECADE AND ANYONE THAT SAYS OTHERWISE IS DAFT!

Two words:

"Narbacular Drop".

Just because Valve is a corporate machine doesn't mean they aren't an awesome one with fresh ideas. Also, they are technically indie (not under a separate publisher). Anyway, a tip of the hat to Notch for making one the of greatest games of all time and going so far with it!

^Ooh, ooh, ten bucks says this guy's one of the people that joined the Escapist because of Notch's Twitter post and contributed to the bullshit-monger in the semifinals.
Two bucks says he won't stay.

 

[shadowform]

Now I play Minecraft, yes it's tons of fun and all... but seriously, Minecraft is one game. Notch / Mojang has made one game. One. Hell, the guys who made Angry Birds are more successful than he is.

 

[Twilight_guy]

What's that this was was posted on April 1 at 12:01? Silly Escapist, you can't troll me with April fools that easy. Silly Escapist!

 

[ToxicSpill]

Mojang beat Valve?
...
...
Holy shit. Is this an April Fools joke?

 

[CommanderKirov]

FINALY! I can discreetly get my ENLARGEMENT PILLS.


Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-.

RAPTORS!

 

[Cain_Zeros]

It's not April 1st, guys. Seriously. NOT April 1st.

Guess I need to be skeptical of every article I read both on April 1st and the days adjacent to it. Excellent.

Mojang's based in Sweden. It still might not have been April 1st when the Minecraft Store went up, or if it was it was really damn early, but still, time zones do screw with things.

 

[MaG iiC 3E]

The concept of a "Company Store" selling low-priced virtual novelty items for use in a videogame is certainly a fresh one and I think Notch and the rest of the team at Valve [http://www.mojang.com/], who just don't have what it takes to come up with this kind of original idea. Good job, Notch!

Does the Escapist purposely pay you to be completely biased, or is that just how you post all the time?

 

[Active Schizophrenic]

The concept of a "Company Store" selling low-priced virtual novelty items for use in a videogame is certainly a fresh one and I think Notch and the rest of the team at Valve [http://www.mojang.com/], who just don't have what it takes to come up with this kind of original idea. Good job, Notch!

Does the Escapist purposely pay you to be completely biased, or is that just how you post all the time?

Were you born with the inability to read sarcasm?

 

[MaG iiC 3E]

The concept of a "Company Store" selling low-priced virtual novelty items for use in a videogame is certainly a fresh one and I think Notch and the rest of the team at Valve [http://www.mojang.com/], who just don't have what it takes to come up with this kind of original idea. Good job, Notch!

Does the Escapist purposely pay you to be completely biased, or is that just how you post all the time?

Were you born with the inability to read sarcasm?

I know it's sarcasm. That doesn't make it any less biased.