MovieBob: Intermission: Oh, Behave!

[RJ Dalton]

I'm only jaded about movies, but only because the art of storytelling is one of the most important things in the world to me and it's evident with almost every movie I watch how little it means to Hollywood. I especially hate to see a movie where they make no effort to develop a character and make him likable and then suddenly at the end throw together a scene where everybody's crying because something bad happens to said character. I can't help but scream angrily whenever I see this happen.
But then, this is kind of the reason why I never go to theaters anymore. My rage at Hollywood's complete and utter lack of respect for the things I love most makes it impossible for me to be a polite moviegoer.

 

[Hungry Donner]

This is one reason why I usually wait a week or two and catch a matinee - with few people around the chance of one being a jerk is fairly small. (The other reason is I'm cheap.)

I'd like to add one myself. Anyone caught with a laser point in the theater will have the pointer crushed, preferably along with the offending hand that was holding it.

 

[ecoho]

Oh, Behave!

MovieBob's 8 commandments for movie theater etiquette.

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bob im with you till number 8. im sorry but if the movies over and there is no reason to beleave theres a end of credits reveal(like any marvel movie anyone who leaves before the credits is an idiot) then i really dont care that you want to see the credits its not my job to make sure you can see who wrote the music. If you plan to sit through it all postion yourself were people leaveing dont ubstruct your veiw.
(please forgive any spelling errors my spell check broke and i have dyslexia, thank you)

 

[Saxnot]

i find nr 6. funny, because it basically means you can't go to a movie theater until your child is old enough to stay at home (lets say when they're 10 years old).

how would you respond if someone were to tell you you can't go to a movie theater for the next decade?

 

[thenumberthirteen]

I work in a cinema, and I approve of this message.

However I really don't care for customers who stay until the end of the credits. You know what if you REALLY want to know where it was filmed or what kind of lenses they used then look it up online when you get home. I've got 5 minutes to clear up all the popcorn, sweet wrappers, coffee cups, and used tissues that people leave on the floor with a broken brush and pan, by myself. And after a 12-13 hour shift I just want to go home and eat my dinner.

Though I'd also like to add a couple more rules that people should follow in a movie theatre:

9: At least try to clean up any rubbish you leave behind. Seriously. I know Popcorn has a tendency to go everywhere (which is why Cinemas store it in a special heated cage to placate it), but coffee cups, Popcorn cups, drinks bottles, and apple cores should go in the bin. It's basic etiquette, and it means the theatre is cleaner for everyone. This goes double if you brought your own food in.

10: If there is a problem, tell a member of staff. If someone's using a phone, or making noise, or something's up with the film, and it is bothering you go find a staff member, and they'll sort it out. the cinema I work at has, at most, 3 members of staff on at one time (usually 2), and this includes the projectionist. We have other things to do besides sit in on every showing of every film, and so we can't tell if someone's being unruly. We endeavour to check in when we can, and shows that are likely to be trouble will likely have someone sitting in (I have seen the last three Twilight movies MULTIPLE times in the same day; I don't get paid enough for that). If you come out at the end and complain then we can't do anything about it.

EDIT: Currently the "Turn off your Phone" message in our theatre is done by The Muppets. If you ignore Kermit the Frog telling you not to use your phone then we are well within our rights to slap it out of your hand and crush it under our boot.

<img height=300>http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4OYGjUrdllo/SPlQdFZtjCI/AAAAAAAAImM/bCNHIZtgKOM/s400/Dave_Pryor_KermitTheGorf_sm.png

 

[thenumberthirteen]

God yes, it has always amazed me how messy people are in the cinema. I mean nowhere else in the world would anyone even consider throwing that amount of rubbish on the ground and leaving it for someone else (me) to clean up. I know it's my job to clean up after customers but seriously do you shit on the bonnet before taking your car to get cleaned?

It's something about cinemas. People don't care. I'm just glad we don't sell Nachos because then I'd be crawling through melted cheese every day.

For example when we serve tea and Coffe we let customers put in their own milk and/or sugar (mainly because it saves us lots of time), and we have a bowl of clean teaspoons for stirring and taking teabags out. EVERY day there is at least one person who after using a spoon just puts it back with the clean ones. And we even have people put teabags in the spoon bowl with the spoons. This means that we then have to clean ALL the spoons by hand and put them out again for the next guy to do the same. I hope I never get invited to these peoples' houses for dinner as they evidently just put all their dirty dishes back in the cupboard for next time.

 

[Pinguin]

Good rules Bob. The points you talk about are the main thing that puts me off mainstream cinemas. I try and catch things in smaller local venues when I can, or go and non-busy times if I have to visit a multiplex.

The only thing I don't do is switch my phone off. It's on silent (not vibrate, completely silent), and it stays in my pocket. I, too, detest the light pollution of phones used in cinemas. But on the other hand my phone does take an age to switch on and off. I know it's not a exactly a major problem to wait for it. But it's easily avoided by just leaving it on and silent, so I do this.

 

[UNHchabo]

When I went to see the reboot of Nightmare on Elm Street, the person in front of us brought a 5-year-old. The kid was scared out of their mind, but the parents didn't take the kid out of the theater!

 

[Cpu46]

Oh god this reminded me of the time I went to see Deathly Hallows pt 2 with my sister. There was a woman a few rows in front of us who let out one of the most annoying laughs ever at two points during the funeral at the start. It was quite obvious that this was going to continue. So the third time she let one out my sister took it, replicated it, then turned it up to 11. We never heard a single noise from her afterwards and I think I heard someone clapping for my sister.

Anyways I agree with all of the things moviebob specifies, movie theaters are supposed to be public, yes, but they are also supposed to be about the movie. If you are doing something that distracts someone then you should not be in the theater.

 

[Jaebird]

I can only think of one really annoying movie-going incident, and, while I can't remember what it was I saw, I do remember the jackass who wouldn't stop fake screaming at some stupid jump-scare. And the guy didn't stop doing it for another few seconds, after the movie moved on to the next scene.

And then there was this one other time when I saw Captain America, this family's kids wouldn't keep quiet. The father was trying his hardest to keep them under control, but it didn't help that they were two rows behind me. They would occasionally act restless, but were quiet throughout most of the movie.

 

[octafish]

OK firstly as a parent of small children I always have my phone on (silent) to hear from our babysitter when I am at the cinema. I take an aisle seat, and if my phone starts vibrating, and it is our sitter 'll go outside and answer it. No problems with that I hope. We also have Cry Baby sessions at our local cinema where people with kids can take them to see a film, usually a kids film or at least a G rated film, but hey you can take your kids.

Otherwise a story. A friend of mine won tickets to go and see William Friedkin's Sorcerer in a never seen in Australia director's cut, with a Q&A with William Friedkin afterwards. His girlfriend didn't want to go so he gave a ticket to me. Awesome, 'cause I love Friedkin. Anyway Friedkin does an introduction and the lights go out.

Five minutes into the film a phone rings. Now if that happened to me, I'd be frantically trying to cut it off and crawl under my seat in shame at not having switched my phone to silent. Instead this person answers the phone! And has a conversation at the top of their voice.

Hi.
Yeah, I'm watching a movie.
A movie.
Yeah, I'm in the cinema.
*louder* Watching a movie!
No, it's just started.
That's alright, no bother.
Yeah I can do that.
Ok, I'll meet you for a drink there.
Yep.
See you.
Bye.

All this while the director of the film, and a great director at that is sitting in the cinema. Fucking arrogance.

 

[Phuctifyno]

This was a pretty fun read, and a topic that sadly never gets old. It seems your commandments have inspired confessions....

1,2,3: Yes - though most cell phones have a silent "vibrate" function. I use that and check the display quickly to see if it's important, then leave to follow up or just ignore it.

EDIT: A live theatre I go to precedes every play with a recorded message about giving a certain amount of money to charity for every show that goes uninterrupted by phones. Movie cinemas should incorporate this (if some already have, I didn't know).

4. Sometimes it can't be helped. I laughed out loud many times at Revenge Of The Sith when I probably shouldn't have. I'm not alone on that one.

5. Can work, though rarely (and I know critics will always hate it, regardless). Trying to start the "slow clap" during Ghost Rider when Nick Cage said, "The Devil may have my soul, but he doesn't have my spirit." garnered real laughter from an audience that was embarassed to have already paid to be there.

6. Parents: Check online for theatres in your area that have special matinee showings for parents with infants. They play the movie at a lower volume, with the lights raised a little, and everyone there has babies so crying and feeding is an expected occurance that no one will be disturbed by. These exist.

7. I took my 3-year-old to see Puss In Boots a few weeks ago... she was the youngest there AND the most well-behaved. Just bragging But seriously, know your kid and use good judgement. ...also, 3D is a bad idea for a first moviegoing experience.

8. These are the people who should get special seats.

 

[Something Amyss]

I love her indignation at being expected to act like a human being.

I also love the fact she thinks being in the USA means you can text in theaters.

 

[Something Amyss]

However I really don't care for customers who stay until the end of the credits. You know what if you REALLY want to know where it was filmed or what kind of lenses they used then look it up online when you get home. I've got 5 minutes to clear up all the popcorn, sweet wrappers, coffee cups, and used tissues that people leave on the floor with a broken brush and pan, by myself. And after a 12-13 hour shift I just want to go home and eat my dinner.

You hear that, Moviebob? No Samuel L Jackson for you!

 

[krellen]

Another note: Snark is never an appropriate reaction when you're sharing a venue with a lot of other people who may very well be enjoying the film, because all those people are going to hear is "yak yak yak yak yak yak" when they're trying to stay immersed in whatever they're watching.

Constant commentary on the film is not the same thing as snarky commentary to a particular incident, which is what I was talking about. The "no talking in the theatre EVER" is wrong, because sometimes that is the proper reaction.

For instance, at midichlorians the proper response is to go "WHAT?!" as loudly as possible. And anyone that says otherwise is wrong.