MovieBob: Intermission: Oh, Behave!

[shogunblade]

Moviebob, First off, I have to say I am digging the list.

I have been very lucky, since I was a little kid, to be able to go to movies, so whenever I go to movies, I follow the rules, in fact, I try to go beyond the rules.

I put my phone on vibrate, I don't check my phone, even if the movie sucks (You have no idea how hard it was to not do that during Meet The Spartans after seeing it a 2nd time).

I can't say the same for kids in movie theaters. I have had kids damage my going experiences twice, once at The Dark Knight (Little girls saying "Shit!" every 10 minutes for the first fifty minutes isn't funny, no matter who you are) and another at Inglorious Basterds.

I have also made my apologies before In a post last year [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.233981-Movie-Theater-Apology-and-a-question] about my older brother and his wife bringing their triplets to Toy Story 3. It was that kind of stuff that made me hate myself for even thinking of going to the movie, but it made me a better person, and told me that bringing a baby to a movie is a bad idea even while I knew it was a bad idea.

In any case, great list, Moviebob.

 

[Moeez]

This is the only list you need.

Pffft. THIS is the only list you need!

Haha I love that one too, especially the bit about explaining the plot. My sister always wants to ask because she might get confused, and I'm like, "why are you here if you can't understand the movie?".

 

[stvncpr236]

I don't necessarily agree with using your phone to tell your friends where you are in the theater. When you go to a movie, yes it is a social experience, but you are not there to talk to your friends, you are there to watch the movie. I tell this to my friends anytime we are forced to sit apart and they start trying to get everyone in the theater to adjust seats so we can sit together. If you need to discuss the movie wait until its done. There is no reason to talk during the movie, a small amount of "Oh did you see that." or "Oh that movie looks good." is acceptable, anything other than that and I personally would have you removed from the theater. As for the one person who told the story about that rowdy group of teenagers, I would have personally removed from the theater myself.

 

[Moeez]

OK firstly as a parent of small children I always have my phone on (silent) to hear from our babysitter when I am at the cinema. I take an aisle seat, and if my phone starts vibrating, and it is our sitter 'll go outside and answer it. No problems with that I hope. We also have Cry Baby sessions at our local cinema where people with kids can take them to see a film, usually a kids film or at least a G rated film, but hey you can take your kids.

Otherwise a story. A friend of mine won tickets to go and see William Friedkin's Sorcerer in a never seen in Australia director's cut, with a Q&A with William Friedkin afterwards. His girlfriend didn't want to go so he gave a ticket to me. Awesome, 'cause I love Friedkin. Anyway Friedkin does an introduction and the lights go out.

Five minutes into the film a phone rings. Now if that happened to me, I'd be frantically trying to cut it off and crawl under my seat in shame at not having switched my phone to silent. Instead this person answers the phone! And has a conversation at the top of their voice.

Hi.
Yeah, I'm watching a movie.
A movie.
Yeah, I'm in the cinema.
*louder* Watching a movie!
No, it's just started.
That's alright, no bother.
Yeah I can do that.
Ok, I'll meet you for a drink there.
Yep.
See you.
Bye.

All this while the director of the film, and a great director at that is sitting in the cinema. Fucking arrogance.

You'd expect someone who's so intent to come to the cinema for a Friedkin director's cut of an old movie screening to not be so inconsiderate. I guess even movie buffs can be douches.

 

[Knight Anon]

As long as I can watch the movie pants-less all of those rules are fine.

 

[Moeez]

I work in a cinema, and I approve of this message.

However I really don't care for customers who stay until the end of the credits. You know what if you REALLY want to know where it was filmed or what kind of lenses they used then look it up online when you get home. I've got 5 minutes to clear up all the popcorn, sweet wrappers, coffee cups, and used tissues that people leave on the floor with a broken brush and pan, by myself. And after a 12-13 hour shift I just want to go home and eat my dinner.

Oh no, then you'll hate me because I love the credits where I get to see who specifically did the cool thing I liked in the movie: cinematography, music, editing, visual FX, cast. Also, I just like being able to take it all in after a particularly powerful movie.

I know IMDB lists them all now, so I might start changing that behaviour. Did not know the staff hates my kind of moviegoer.

 

[XDravond]

To me you can start the third world war in the cinema next to where I sit for all I care. BUT if you even try to disturb me I'm gonna make your sorry ass leave one way or another....

I got to many annoying stories to keep track... Including (but not exclusive to) seat kickers, kids/babies, small bladder/smokers, texting/calling/etc, crunchy/unnecessary loud snack, throwing of snacks, "explaining the movie",fire alarms, complainers of how bad the movie is (before end), spilling of stuff on me, couples somewhat to eager (and loud)...late comers, people unable to read seating ticket..
And my personal favorite: translating of movie for a kid, yes trying to TRANSLATE THE WHOLE MOVIE..(Pixar movie subbed, the dubbed where on almost the same time)
Yes I sometimes go to a lot of movies....

Seriously though it is surprising how many people lack common sense and courtesy of not disturbing others... Since most people seem to agree you do not ruining other peoples movie experience and/or peace...

 

[XDravond]

As long as I can watch the movie pants-less all of those rules are fine.

Fine by me ;P, just tell me what seat you used and I could hardly care less...

 

[TitanAura]

I miss those overly elaborate "please turn off your phone" trailers all of the major theatres had a few years ago. Whatever happened to those?

 

[lowkey_jotunn]

I, for one, am ok with the "text seats."

Not only does it let you know in advance who the jack-asses are, it segregates them in their own little area. Presumably, this will let the theatre be a little more rigid on their no texting policies as well. If you are a neurosurgeon or something, and might get a SUPER important text mid movie, you can sit in the texty area. Every one else, if I see a flicker of screen, your ass is outta here.

 

[ThunderCavalier]

I have to agree with people who try to react 'ironically' to movies or try to be meta about it.

There are two places where you're allowed to have those kinds of reactions where people are not liable to kick your ass:

1) Your house, because you're watching a DVD of it.

2) A gathering of friends at some event or something, because you're watching a DVD or a special screening.

The movie theater, where it's filled with a lot of people that don't know or care about you and probably just want to watch the movie, is not the best time to try and crack a joke. The immediate relatives and friends may give you a chuckle, pity or not. Everyone that doesn't know is liable to introduce you to their straw. Through your eye.



Seriously, I hate it when people try to be witty when I'm trying to watch a movie. I can at least somewhat sympathize if it's at a small group gathering and it's one of my friends, since we're all friends and we don't expect anyone to come at us with a knife, but if you're at a social gathering, be courteous. You don't randomly start talking loudly on your phone if the president is giving an important speech and you're in attendance, so why would you try to make it difficult for us to hear the movie?

 

[Peter Storer]

I have a simple solution for the behaviour of theatre going neandethals.
11pm Wednesday.

Kiddies are in bed (including most of the school age ones).
Party goers are off getting drunk.
Workers are in bed coz tomorow is a workday that isnt a monday or friday, and therefore isn't worth taking off sick.
Tuesday night was cheap night, so most people who go to mid week showings went then...

Wait for a week after release, and in a lot of cases the movies that are drawing packed houses at 7 have half a dozen or so people in them at 11.

Now please ignore my advice so I don't have to start putting up with you lot in my nice, quiet cinema!

 

[gphjr14]

Main reasons I go to movies during the day....when I actually go to the movies.

 

[Zom-B]

I'd say it be easier, more comfortable and far more satisfying to simply invest in a decent sized TV, a good surround sound system and watch movies at home, rather than futilely trying to change the obnoxious behaviour of millions of people.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

Uh, Bob, 20 years old here. Your parents still alive? Mine aren't. You ever face transphobia? I do. Yeah, please stop making assumptions that my life is always easy based on my age.

 

[Zom-B]

i find nr 6. funny, because it basically means you can't go to a movie theater until your child is old enough to stay at home (lets say when they're 10 years old).

how would you respond if someone were to tell you you can't go to a movie theater for the next decade?

Yes, exactly. You either get a babysitter or you wait until your kids can stay at home alone safely. Part of having children is the responsibility to take care of them. If that means you miss out on going to fine dining restaurants, movies, sporting events or any other adult activity, that's a choice you've made and have to live with.

It's not fair to everyone else to take your shitty loud kids to an adult movie (kids movie? Fine, that's what they're for) and disturb everyone else.

I feel this video from the Drafthouse is in order.

+1 "Magnited" States of America

 

[Mechanix]

Haha Bob, I had to smile. I'm a movie theater usher myself. You're right, we are basically janitors. Sadly I've only gotten to kick one person out thus far. But it sure is fun watching my manager do it, because she's fiesty.

 

[Carnagath]

Rule 7 does not apply when it is a kid-centric/targeted movie. Although still not a great idea to let them role around and play on the floor.

Yes, it does. What's a kid-centric movie anyway? I went to see Toy Story 3 and a mother with 2 kids were raising hell just behind me, I asked her politely to keep it down and she gave me the gaze of death and hissed "This movie is not aimed at you, mister". What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Who are you to judge what is aimed at me and what isn't? If your kids are incapable of behaving in a movie theater, then don't take them to one. It's pretty simple. Wait for the DVD and watch it at home with them.

 

[Kapol]

5. Reacting Inappropriately On Purpose Is Not Funny

This is the only one I've really had a problem with myself. The others are right of course, but this is the only one I've actually experienced. When I went to see 'Funny People' (which I thought was actually pretty good), there were a couple of boys, likely in their late teens, there. They started faking a loud, annoying laugh... at the opening credits. It was incredibly stupid.

Then, not long after they pause for a minute, I suddenly hear this deep, evil voice saying 'is it you all laughin like that?' It honestly sounded like he was going to murder me and my friends. I quickly told him no and let him know where the laughing seemed to be coming from. He said alright and left... and I didn't hear any more laughing for the rest of the movie. While that freaked me out, I really hope it freaked the annoying assholes out just as much and they got kicked out. People like that ruin the movie.