New Device Allows Dogs to Use Twitter

[Generator]

I thought this was a joke article at first. This is really a thing?! But... why?!

 

[AvsJoe]

If I didn't know any better I'd say today was the first of April and I was the fool. I cannot believe this is real!
Also, this is the funniest News Room update since Yahtzee got Rickroll'd. El Em Ef Ay Oh!

 

[dalek sec]

Why?

Twitter shouldn't even be available for people

This, honestly the one thing that should be able to use Twitter is Serge from "Caprica" and only because he's adorable.

 

[Plurralbles]

this is why Titter is worthless. A dog can do it, it must be worthless.

 

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

Great. First dogs, then mice, until you get down to plankton.

This just in PLANT TWITTER, here's just a taste of what plants would twitter:


"......"

"..........."

"..........Oh not again."

"WATER ME, ************"

"Kill....Kill....Kill...."

"................................"

"Feeeeed me, Seymour!"

And here I thought this thread would piss me off, but now I'm to busy laughing to be pissed.

OT: Really? What person would buy this for their pet?

Nevermind. They'll find someone to buy it.

 

[somekindarobot]

Like they say, "On the internet no one knows you're a dog." Although typing nothing but "bark" and "woof" probably is a tip-off. Seriously, the stupid things people buy for their pets! Perhaps people should start eating some of their pets just to remind both of their proper hierarchy.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Um why? Most dogs just want to be fed food, given fresh water and be provided and nice spot to sleep and go pee. NOTHING ELSE!

 

[Rhade]

Oh look, they finally found a perfect market for their service!

We need to start culling some of the social networking developers/advertisers/marketing people from the planet.

Maybe we can bio-engineer a virus that will attack everyone who has no heart and/or is creatively sterile.

Creativity is great when it makes anything actually useful, rather than vapidly pointless. And hearts are generally a good thing to have, but it's also good to have some actual emotional tempering, to be able to handle stress and eventualities like bad things happing to good people, relationships maybe ending, death, etc. (That's more or less unrelated and non-directional, but a standard response to any 'no heart' comment).

 

[CloggedDonkey]

*puts gun in mouth* goodbye cruel world *pulls trigger* it's empty. but this is an idea that might just kill humanity's brains. but my dog might actually be smarter than the majority of twitter users(this is a dog that ran into a glass door at 1 years old), so it will be fun to see if we can pick them out.

 

[Kollega]

That's more or less unrelated and non-directional, but a standard response to any 'no heart' comment.

By that you imply that we should keep all the soulless accountants and marketing people around rather than just murder them all.

 

[Quadtrix]

I said it once, I'll say it again: Twitter is for twats.

 

[Twilight_guy]

That's awful. That's animal cruelty right there! subjecting dogs to twitter, you monsters!

Honestly this idea is just stupid that I'm amazed it hasn't created a stupidity blackhole and sucked us all in. Nobody gives a damn about your dog. Who approved this stupid thing? only a select group of people are dumb enough to go with it and they wont return your investment.

 

[mcgroobber]

that is retarded

 

[Pegghead]

I thought twitter was stupid enough as it is.

 

[Grayjack]

I actually want this.

 

[skitzo van]

I'd like to see old yeller's last tweet...

EDIT: 420 maaaan

 

[Sanguinius- The Angel]

Wow. This is a joke, right?