New Man dropped: meet the "Sigma" male

[Dreiko]

I kinda wanna play a game where I list every Greek letter and make up a backstory for a man befitting it but I don't wanna give more air to this nonsense. Though I will just do it for the Theta man cause that's my first letter.

The Theta man doesn't need to get things from the top shelf for his girlfriend because anything she could possibly want is on him already. When he walks through the jarred olives aisle in the supermarket the caps pop themselves open by merely being in his presence. Of course he doesn't eat olives, cause he gets enough salt by other men who wish they could be like him. The destroyer of worlds and vaginas, the Theta both is the pack and is not in it, because everyone in the pack wishes he'd be within them and acts like he is, and the man himself is too manly to refuse helping his inferiors, but in his heart the pack is just a bunch of children that he has to look after rather than his equals. Such are the burdens of the Theta, as well as his blessings, be aware and despair.

 

[happyninja42]

I kinda wanna play a game where I list every Greek letter and make up a backstory for a man befitting it but I don't wanna give more air to this nonsense. Though I will just do it for the Theta man cause that's my first letter.

The Theta man doesn't need to get things from the top shelf for his girlfriend because anything she could possibly want is on him already. When he walks through the jarred olives aisle in the supermarket the caps pop themselves open by merely being in his presence. Of course he doesn't eat olives, cause he gets enough salt by other men who wish they could be like him. The destroyer of worlds and vaginas, the Theta both is the pack and is not in it, because everyone in the pack wishes he'd be within them and acts like he is, and the man himself is too manly to refuse helping his inferiors, but in his heart the pack is just a bunch of children that he has to look after rather than his equals. Such are the burdens of the Theta, as well as his blessings, be aware and despair.

You've basically just made a variant on horoscope.

 

[Schadrach]

Imagine explaining "knotting" to a judge.

I mean, it wouldn't be that hard. "Your Honor, are you familiar with dogs? Have you ever seen dogs mate, where the male and female get stuck together? That's because of a feature of the canine penis called the bulbus glandis, that swells during the act, holding the two together. OK, so... that happens in my weird werewolf fetish porn because the werewolves have, you know, wolf dicks."

I mean, until that last sentence it wasn't that bad. Like, the unpleasant part isn't explaining knotting, it's having to explain it in context of your weird werewolf fetish porn or having to explain your weird werewolf fetish porn at all. Without the involvement of the weird werewolf fetish porn it's just a pretty basic bit of animal husbandry.

And also really enjoys pastry.

And can be approximated by 22/7 (I'll leave it up to the reader to decide what we are measuring and in what unit), and is claimed by the Bible to be smaller than they really are.

Before you know it they'll start using the Danganronpa system where they have bullshit sub-categories. Expect Ultimate Sigma, Super High Level Alpha, or Maximum Beta.

Super High School Level Alpha, gotta get the Danganronpa references right, now!

 

[BrawlMan]

I mean, it wouldn't be that hard. "Your Honor, are you familiar with dogs? Have you ever seen dogs mate, where the male and female get stuck together? That's because of a feature of the canine penis called the bulbus glandis, that swells during the act, holding the two together. OK, so... that happens in my weird werewolf fetish porn because the werewolves have, you know, wolf dicks."

I mean, until that last sentence it wasn't that bad. Like, the unpleasant part isn't explaining knotting, it's having to explain it in context of your weird werewolf fetish porn or having to explain your weird werewolf fetish porn at all. Without the involvement of the weird werewolf fetish porn it's just a pretty basic bit of animal husbandry.



And can be approximated by 22/7 (I'll leave it up to the reader to decide what we are measuring and in what unit), and is claimed by the Bible to be smaller than they really are.



Super High School Level Alpha, gotta get the Danganronpa references right, now!

I was mainly paraphrasing. I know super high school level is the more accurate term in the anime and Japanese version of Danganronpa, but for me, Ultimates roll off the tongue better. I was under the assumption that the dumbasses making these, were well out of high school, but still acting they are in high school.

 

[Agema]

Every time I hear someone non-ironically describe men as "alphas", "betas" or "gammas" they instantly go down several steps in my estimation. It's just pseudoscientific bullshit.

 

[Dalisclock]

Every time I hear someone non-ironically describe men as "alphas", "betas" or "gammas" they instantly go down several steps in my estimation. It's just pseudoscientific bullshit.

For me, if I heard that, I'd be "Why the fuck are you talking about types of radiation?"

 

[BrawlMan]

Any person that calls themselves a Sigma Male or Female should be referred to as Smegmas.

 

[Houseman]

Super High School Level Alpha, gotta get the Danganronpa references right, now!

Depends on which translation/dub you're using, if you're using one at all. The games just say "ultimate" but I think other works might refer to them as "super high school..."

 

[Schadrach]

Depends on which translation/dub you're using, if you're using one at all. The games just say "ultimate" but I think other works might refer to them as "super high school..."

True, the US release games go with "Ultimate" (which honestly I think sounds better in English), the anime subs with "Super High School Level" in either case "Super High Level" does not hit the mark for the DR reference.

 

[BrawlMan]

True, the US release games go with "Ultimate" (which honestly I think sounds better in English), the anime subs with "Super High School Level" in either case "Super High Level" does not hit the mark for the DR reference.

Once again, I was paraphrasing. Still counts because I mentioned Ultimate and I did say it rolls off the tongue better.

 

[happyninja42]

Once again, I was paraphrasing. Still counts because I mentioned Ultimate and I did say it rolls off the tongue better.

I still chuckle at Maximum Beta. Don't know why, I just find the concept of betas declaring themselves alphas among themselves, without being actual alpha's, but we're as alpha as you can be as a beta! Just amusing. *snickers* Maximum Beta, Mega Chad, I feel like we're coming up with names for some ridiculous 80s cartoon, complete with action figures *vehicles sold separately*

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

...I feel like we're coming up with names for some ridiculous 80s cartoon, complete with action figures *vehicles sold separately*

But if you need your parents to help put the playset together, then you're not a Sigma Male.

 

[Dalisclock]

So does this keep on going till we get through the entire greek alphabet or just until these weirdos get bored?

 

[happyninja42]

So does this keep on going till we get through the entire greek alphabet or just until these weirdos get bored?

Eh, once they mature a bit, and literally grow out of this phase.

Oh, and can indeed confirm, that guy I was speaking to online a week or so go, was un-ironically referring to himself as a Sigma male. *rolls eyes*

I mean, I'm trying to not be too scathing about this, as it's clearly meant for younger men, and everyone is pretty dumb when they are young, and easily prone to accepting weird trends for personal identity reasons. Hopefully, most of them will realize, with time, that it's some very silly shit, and grow out of it into more well balanced individuals.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Eh, once they mature a bit, and literally grow out of this phase.

Oh, and can indeed confirm, that guy I was speaking to online a week or so go, was un-ironically referring to himself as a Sigma male. *rolls eyes*

I mean, I'm trying to not be too scathing about this, as it's clearly meant for younger men, and everyone is pretty dumb when they are young, and easily prone to accepting weird trends for personal identity reasons. Hopefully, most of them will realize, with time, that it's some very silly shit, and grow out of it into more well balanced individuals.

I wish I had your optimism. I suspect that while this will fade away, it will not be because the sort of people invested in this will on the whole become wiser, it's that they will become invested in some other foolishness.

 

[XsjadoBlayde]

They call me 'the sigma,' I ain't big, nah.
But I run rings around you like a sonic flash enigma.
Now you know your gig's up, life's going tits up
Your man-spreading testicles already know the trick's up.
They call me 'the sigma,' a travelling enigma
I ain't in it for the money or the alpha chad stigma.
See I'm a free thinker, go my own way, jah
Living with my parents, 90s science, do ya dig, Ma?
They call me 'the sigma,' an internet enigma
I'll meme rings around you like an alpha Incel trickster.


If, uhh...any of these guys are into rap, there's a prototype chorus for their national anthem? It's the only bit I'm doing for free anyway. (Rhymes may work only with london accents though )

 

[stroopwafel]

The myth of male power.

The Myth of Male Power - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[BrawlMan]

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[BrawlMan]

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[bluegate]

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Those people sound like they'd be really into that Joker movie for all the wrong reasons.