Nice Guys Suck

[EmperorSubcutaneous]

snip

Like I said better than being treated like dirt like a lot of women. You don't have any idea how lucky you are to have men fawning over you. You should be enjoying it rather than complaining about a non-existent problem.

It must be a real curse...

Yeah, clearly nothing I'm saying is getting through to you. You're too emotionally invested in this argument.

There's kind of a huge amount of space between being treated like dirt and being treated like a goddess on a pedestal who is never allowed to fall off it ever. But if you want to think there are only those two extremes, you can go right ahead and think that.

You are the one who put forward the idea of being put on a pedestal. I merely said that it's pretty ridiculous to complain about being treated nicely by someone. Nice is a good thing.

You took what I said completely out of context.

Absolutely no one in this thread is complaining about being treated nicely. That's not what it's about.

It's about "nice guy behavior." Which is not even remotely the same thing as "nice behavior."

It's my belief that this 'Nice Guy' doesn't exist though.
There is no way to know what is going on in someone's head when they do something.

That's because you haven't met one yet.

I have met plenty. It becomes extremely clear in hindsight what their intentions were, when they start saying "but I did this and this and this for you, that means you're supposed to stay with me!" That explains pretty clearly what was going on in their head.

Eventually you learn what to look out for and you can recognize a "nice guy" pretty easily, though it sometimes takes a bit of time for it to really become clear.

Or maybe he thought he was doing what you wanted and was confused as to why you were unhappy?
No one is psychic.

That's a pretty silly thing to say; you don't have to be psychic to be able to pick up on hints. You don't have to be psychic to understand sarcasm and innuendo either, you just have to have learned how to recognize them. It's pretty clear when supposed nice behavior is about making another person happy and when it's about making yourself happy.

I pretty much just have to echo what KirbyKrackle has been saying.

 

[PhiMed]

It's nice that everyone is showering you with praises, Lara. Unfortunately, it's completely unwarranted.

You see, you've chosen a forum that will respond to any feminine opinion with unqualified praise, because this entire site is composed of White Knights and Nice Guys TM.

I think your analysis leaves out something critical: female responsibility. You're correct that Nice Guys TM have an agenda. And EVERY FEMALE ON EARTH OVER THE AGE OF 14 knows that, too. But they are frequently content to play innocent, as if they have no idea that the guy living in abject poverty, who works two jobs in addition to attending school, who bought them a $200 gift "as a friend" might have something else in mind. Yes, these guys are passive-aggressive, unassertive wimps. All the more reason not to allow them to convince themselves that there is a chance. Ever. These guys continue their behavior because women make the conscious decision to allow them to do so. Because they enjoy the attention, because they are craven, small, insecure people themselves. Not all women. Just all the women who allow this to continue.

So stop pretending that you didn't know, and that the Nice GuyTM always brings this up as a complete surprise. You know. 95% of the women this has happened to know. You just wrote an entire article detailing your extensive knowledge of the phenomenon. Accept a little responsibility for enabling these pansies, and shift a little responsibility to those without a Y chromosome.

And by the way, there's a reason these men are so timid. Young women, when they reject someone, are vicious. It's socially empowering for a women to publicly humiliate a male. Negative reinforcement is a powerful motivator. Women created these sissies.

I was one of them, briefly. Then I realized that there are two options that will result in a woman finding a male attractive (not every woman, mind you, but probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 1/3): 1)Treat her as if you are GOING to sleep with her. Even if you don't use explicit terminology, become almost TOO affectionate, as soon as you meet them (warning: use only if at least moderately physically attractive). 2)Treat her as if you find her to border on being repugnant.

In other words: be a dick.

Stop saying women like nice guys, but don't like Nice GuysTM. Women like jerks. It's well-established. If a guy doesn't have the stones to be a jerk, the woman will know she can get everything she actually WANTS from him without any sort of emotional or physical investment. Why would a woman start a relationship with someone who is clearly so into them without any sort of return?

Women take. That's what they do. If a man doesn't demand some give AND take up front, then a woman will suck him dry.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

snip

Like I said better than being treated like dirt like a lot of women. You don't have any idea how lucky you are to have men fawning over you. You should be enjoying it rather than complaining about a non-existent problem.

It must be a real curse...

Yeah, clearly nothing I'm saying is getting through to you. You're too emotionally invested in this argument.

There's kind of a huge amount of space between being treated like dirt and being treated like a goddess on a pedestal who is never allowed to fall off it ever. But if you want to think there are only those two extremes, you can go right ahead and think that.

You are the one who put forward the idea of being put on a pedestal. I merely said that it's pretty ridiculous to complain about being treated nicely by someone. Nice is a good thing.

You took what I said completely out of context.

Absolutely no one in this thread is complaining about being treated nicely. That's not what it's about.

It's about "nice guy behavior." Which is not even remotely the same thing as "nice behavior."

It's my belief that this 'Nice Guy' doesn't exist though.
There is no way to know what is going on in someone's head when they do something.

That's because you haven't met one yet.

I have met plenty. It becomes extremely clear in hindsight what their intentions were, when they start saying "but I did this and this and this for you, that means you're supposed to stay with me!" That explains pretty clearly what was going on in their head.

Eventually you learn what to look out for and you can recognize a "nice guy" pretty easily, though it sometimes takes a bit of time for it to really become clear.

Or maybe he thought he was doing what you wanted and was confused as to why you were unhappy?
No one is psychic.

That's a pretty silly thing to say; you don't have to be psychic to be able to pick up on hints. You don't have to be psychic to understand sarcasm and innuendo either, you just have to have learned how to recognize them. It's pretty clear when supposed nice behavior is about making another person happy and when it's about making yourself happy.

I pretty much just have to echo what KirbyKrackle has been saying.

I don't know anything about you or him so I can't judge but it seems strange that you only gave him hints that your were unhappy and didn't sit down with him over it.

 

[Insanely Asinine]

There is at least four turnouts.
1. They grow up and turn out fine. -Common
2. They become a hermit. - Rare rate
3. They become a depiction of human scum. - Almost impossible. Key term "Almost"
4. They actually acquire some good traits out of it and move on with their lives. - uncommon almost rare
Me let the human suffer the trial on its own.

 

[KirbyKrackle]

snip

1. If you don't love someone while they are at their worse then you don't love them.
2. If you actually think there is such a thing as a 'worthless human being'....I don't even.
3. Someone who behaves like Kahuna described clearly has mental problems and should get help. What is wrong with wanting to help someone? Do you think compassion is a bad thing?
4. I don't believe that this label has any grounding in reality it's pinning socially awkward with certain attributes when in reality they are probably completely different. It's no different than calling all overweight people 'stupid fatties who stuff their face' when in reality each person may have a completely different reason as to why they are obese.
5. Once you are in love with someone it's very hard to be friends with them you do feel bitter and betrayed. Unrequited love is agonising. But that's a normal reaction and people shouldn't feel ashamed of it. Not wanting to be friends with someone who rejected you doesn't mean you had some sort of sinister plot all along.

1. And quite possibly that's because they don't deserve love. Always important to remember--some people, at their worst, do not deserve to be loved.
2. I'm hard pressed to think of how certain people have anything but negative worth (I guess they keep prison wardens employed?), but actually I was just taking up CM's previous comments on being "worthless", which, in CM's case, is probably untrue.
3. Well, like I said, it can be dangerous for the victim, it can reinforce the jerk's behaviour, and there's a problem with treating someone like a bad person for refusing to hang around with and fix that jerk. Also, most Nice Guys are perfectly sane and understand the consequences of their actions, just like most other jerks.
4. I think it's already been explained to you multiple times that Nice Guys are cowards and liars, not "socially awkward", though that's not to say they can't have all of those attributes.
5. I don't think anyone called Nice Guy behaviour a "sinister plot". Nor is the "Nice Guy" a "Nice Guy" because they have a normal reaction to rejection. It's because of an abnormal reaction to rejection as well as their behaviour leading up to that rejection.

 

[KirbyKrackle]

It's nice that everyone is showering you with praises, Lara. Unfortunately, it's completely unwarranted.

You see, you've chosen a forum that will respond to any feminine opinion with unqualified praise, because this entire site is composed of White Knights and Nice Guys TM.

I think your analysis leaves out something critical: female responsibility. You're correct that Nice Guys TM have an agenda. And EVERY FEMALE ON EARTH OVER THE AGE OF 14 knows that, too. But they are frequently content to play innocent, as if they have no idea that the guy living in abject poverty, who works two jobs in addition to attending school, who bought them a $200 gift "as a friend" might have something else in mind. Yes, these guys are passive-aggressive, unassertive wimps. All the more reason not to allow them to convince themselves that there is a chance. Ever. These guys continue their behavior because women make the conscious decision to allow them to do so. Because they enjoy the attention, because they are craven, small, insecure people themselves. Not all women. Just all the women who allow this to continue.

So stop pretending that you didn't know, and that the Nice GuyTM always brings this up as a complete surprise. You know. 95% of the women this has happened to know. You just wrote an entire article detailing your extensive knowledge of the phenomenon. Accept a little responsibility for enabling these pansies, and shift a little responsibility to those without a Y chromosome.

And by the way, there's a reason these men are so timid. Young women, when they reject someone, are vicious. It's socially empowering for a women to publicly humiliate a male. Negative reinforcement is a powerful motivator. Women created these sissies.

I was one of them, briefly. Then I realized that there are two options that will result in a woman finding a male attractive (not every woman, mind you, but probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 1/3): 1)Treat her as if you are GOING to sleep with her. Even if you don't use explicit terminology, become almost TOO affectionate, as soon as you meet them (warning: use only if at least moderately physically attractive). 2)Treat her as if you find her to border on being repugnant.

In other words: be a dick.

Stop saying women like nice guys, but don't like Nice GuysTM. Women like jerks. It's well-established. If a guy doesn't have the stones to be a jerk, the woman will know she can get everything she actually WANTS from him without any sort of emotional or physical investment. Why would a woman start a relationship with someone who is clearly so into them without any sort of return?

Women take. That's what they do. If a man doesn't demand some give AND take up front, then a woman will suck him dry.

So you switched from being a cowardly asshole to an honest asshole. I guess that's something.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

snip

1. If you don't love someone while they are at their worse then you don't love them.
2. If you actually think there is such a thing as a 'worthless human being'....I don't even.
3. Someone who behaves like Kahuna described clearly has mental problems and should get help. What is wrong with wanting to help someone? Do you think compassion is a bad thing?
4. I don't believe that this label has any grounding in reality it's pinning socially awkward with certain attributes when in reality they are probably completely different. It's no different than calling all overweight people 'stupid fatties who stuff their face' when in reality each person may have a completely different reason as to why they are obese.
5. Once you are in love with someone it's very hard to be friends with them you do feel bitter and betrayed. Unrequited love is agonising. But that's a normal reaction and people shouldn't feel ashamed of it. Not wanting to be friends with someone who rejected you doesn't mean you had some sort of sinister plot all along.

1. And quite possibly that's because they don't deserve love. Always important to remember--some people, at their worst, do not deserve to be loved.
2. I'm hard pressed to think of how certain people have anything but negative worth (I guess they keep prison wardens employed?), but actually I was just taking up CM's previous comments on being "worthless", which, in CM's case, is probably untrue.
3. Well, like I said, it can be dangerous for the victim, it can reinforce the jerk's behaviour, and there's a problem with treating someone like a bad person for refusing to hang around with and fix that jerk. Also, most Nice Guys are perfectly sane and understand the consequences of their actions, just like most other jerks.
4. I think it's already been explained to you multiple times that Nice Guys are cowards and liars, not "socially awkward", though that's not to say they can't have all of those attributes.
5. I don't think anyone called Nice Guy behaviour a "sinister plot". Nor is the "Nice Guy" a "Nice Guy" because they have a normal reaction to rejection. It's because of an abnormal reaction to rejection as well as their behaviour leading up to that rejection.

Again you are using the term jerk and nice guy which have absolutely no meaning. Everyone acts a certain way for a reason even the darkest seriel murderers. No one is inherently evil or a 'jerk' like a child's storybook.

You said that when a nice guy is rejected they don't want to be friends which proves that they just wanted sex all along and didn't want to be cared about. That was my counter argument. Perhaps I should have quoted you.

I don't see how helping someone is reinforcing their behaviour? Would you rather women just took advantage of these men rather than point out that there is something that needs to be addressed with their behaviour. To me that would be more likely to perpetuate it.

Coward is such a relative term. I have anxiety disorder for example due to my 'man troubles' so I suppose I'm a snivelling coward in your estimation too huh?

Anyway I'm gonna go play some Skyrim now. I just want to say that I'm not up for slapping this label on people. I think it's nonsensical.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

When I was younger (15-16), I was Nice Guy... what an asshole/dick I was
So, I think she's right; it's important to make a difference between Nice Guy and nice guy... It makes me think of the xkcd comic:
http://xkcd.com/513/

wow....that comic is incredibly depressing. I feel sorry for that girl

 

[KirbyKrackle]

snip

1. If you don't love someone while they are at their worse then you don't love them.
2. If you actually think there is such a thing as a 'worthless human being'....I don't even.
3. Someone who behaves like Kahuna described clearly has mental problems and should get help. What is wrong with wanting to help someone? Do you think compassion is a bad thing?
4. I don't believe that this label has any grounding in reality it's pinning socially awkward with certain attributes when in reality they are probably completely different. It's no different than calling all overweight people 'stupid fatties who stuff their face' when in reality each person may have a completely different reason as to why they are obese.
5. Once you are in love with someone it's very hard to be friends with them you do feel bitter and betrayed. Unrequited love is agonising. But that's a normal reaction and people shouldn't feel ashamed of it. Not wanting to be friends with someone who rejected you doesn't mean you had some sort of sinister plot all along.

1. And quite possibly that's because they don't deserve love. Always important to remember--some people, at their worst, do not deserve to be loved.
2. I'm hard pressed to think of how certain people have anything but negative worth (I guess they keep prison wardens employed?), but actually I was just taking up CM's previous comments on being "worthless", which, in CM's case, is probably untrue.
3. Well, like I said, it can be dangerous for the victim, it can reinforce the jerk's behaviour, and there's a problem with treating someone like a bad person for refusing to hang around with and fix that jerk. Also, most Nice Guys are perfectly sane and understand the consequences of their actions, just like most other jerks.
4. I think it's already been explained to you multiple times that Nice Guys are cowards and liars, not "socially awkward", though that's not to say they can't have all of those attributes.
5. I don't think anyone called Nice Guy behaviour a "sinister plot". Nor is the "Nice Guy" a "Nice Guy" because they have a normal reaction to rejection. It's because of an abnormal reaction to rejection as well as their behaviour leading up to that rejection.

Again you are using the term jerk and nice guy which have absolutely no meaning. Everyone acts a certain way for a reason even the darkest seriel murderers. No one is inherently evil or a 'jerk' like a child's storybook.

You said that when a nice guy is rejected they don't want to be friends which proves that they just wanted sex all along and didn't want to be cared about. That was my counter argument. Perhaps I should have quoted you.

I don't see how helping someone is reinforcing their behaviour? Would you rather women just took advantage of these men rather than point out that there is something that needs to be addressed with their behaviour. To me that would be more likely to perpetuate it.

Coward is such a relative term. I have anxiety disorder for example due to my 'man troubles' so I suppose I'm a snivelling coward in your estimation too huh?

I don't recall calling anyone "inherently evil" or even inherently a jerk. In fact, it's quite the opposite; a person is a jerk for behaving like a jerk.

Yes, you should probably quote me on that. I have a feeling I know what statement you're referring to, but I'm not sure.

In this case, remaining with the jerk simply serves to reinforce their behaviour (e.g., "she must still like me/I still have a chance/clearly I just have to wear her down a little more") as opposed to providing negative feedback (e.g., "Gosh, I just drove away the woman I was infatuated with; maybe this isn't a good way to court women"). Also, don't forget the other points I mentioned, particularly that it's pretty nasty to imply that the woman is somehow in the wrong for not wanting to remain around a jerk. And no, I don't recall ever suggesting that they should take advantage of the men. Again, you seem to be putting words in my mouth. Kindly stop. As I do recall, I was actually arguing that they should, as you say, "bin" them. They're jerks. Why keep being friends with them or hanging around them?

Well, since the word coward implies a disgraceful or shameful amount of fear, no. I'm also not sure what your legitimate fears have to do with a Nice Guy's dishonest behaviour either.

EDIT: The tone of some comments has me a bit worried, so I'm just going to reiterate: You do not have to remain around someone who is a jerk to you; you are not responsible for fixing that behaviour (that responsibility is the jerk's). You are not a bad person for not wanting anything to do with a person who is a jerk to you.

 

[dalek sec]

Nice Guys tend to make it quite clear, sooner or later, usually in the context of "I was so nice to you, you owe me X" or "how can she refuse me after I was so nice". Or sometimes they'll just never mention their true intentions, instead becoming increasingly bitter while refusing to ever change their poor behaviour since it's far easier to blame women and other people for their problems than suck it up and act like an adult.

Part of the problem, though, is that they are ultimately deceptive and you DON'T know that that's why they're being nice until the above blow up, which is why it's a huge problem, and again why I said it's an attempt to create and maintain a dishonest, unhealthy relationship.

I just wanted to say thank you Kirby for this post, pretty much helped me get rid of those worrying fears that I might have been a Nice Guy(TM) and not just someone who needs help with fears of being in a social setting.

I remember now that when I had a girlfriend in highschool I actually somehow had the nerve to talk to her and eventaully had the nerve to actually ask her out without fear. I guess now I just try and get over my fears in a social setting and maybe I can meet someone at sometime in my life and not just be second place or anything like that.

Also remember getting this cheap little gift for a girl my age at work who had a kid and didn't expect anything in return since I was just getting her a gift and that's all. So that's a good sign of just being nice and not a Nice Guy(TM) right?

 

[EmperorSubcutaneous]

I don't know anything about you or him so I can't judge but it seems strange that you only gave him hints that your were unhappy and didn't sit down with him over it.

I was much younger then and learned my lesson.

The fact is, I was a lot like you. I didn't believe in the whole "nice guy" thing either. I had fantasies of princesses and knights in shining armor, and he shared that fantasy. I confused being in love with being an uncomplaining doormat. I figured that since he was just trying so gosh darn hard to be nice, I should appreciate the effort even though I didn't like it.

The next relationship I got into was with another type of "nice guy": the kind who is nice to you but an asshole to everyone else, and claims that he's really nice deep down but he's just been hurt too many times and only you can heal him. He ended up becoming emotionally abusive and controlling and there's a good chance he also could have become physically abusive if we'd kept going. But I was starting to wake up.

Some of your posts have me worried. It's clear why you were in an abusive relationship, and if you don't reconsider certain beliefs, you're doomed to be used over and over and over. Like how you say that you should love someone even when they're at their worst. Of course you should. But if their worst involves hurting or manipulating you, then you should not be in a relationship with them because they don't truly love you back and so they don't deserve your love. And yes it hurts to become "just friends" with someone you have feelings for, but staying with them even though your relationship is a bad fit is infinitely worse.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

I think the underlying issue is that some men are afraid that the things they were taught as a child in order to seek love, like respect, honesty, loyalty, generosity and so forth, will not be succesful, and they must behave like something they loathe.

mixed messages about gender-roles, be it through media or otherwise, dont really help either.

men get told to be aloof and distant, and yet still be the one to make the first move.
they get praised for getting laid a lot, but demonised for using girls just for sex.

they get told that being nice is a weakness, despite it being a compliment or praise.

how does that not get confusing?

although, to be fair, women aren't better off either, just look at the whole "twilight generation".

I suggest we may also discuss the "nice girl" phenomena, a similar case but with the roles reversed, because even women can show nice behavious and be unappreciated for it.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Ok...

I find the logic behind this new wave of thinking a little problematic, and not only in that it seems hell bent on absolving the women in these scenarios of any blame whatsoever.

This is a trait that isn't chosen, noone aspires to be awkward and unsuccessful with women. I'm also pretty sure it's not something that someone can snap out of easily. We're aware of implicit memory, and how our upbringings(even down to simple things like how much human contact we had as babies)have an enormous affect on how we later see and interact with what's around us...more of our behaviour is determined by our collective sub-consciences than I think we're allowing credit for.

If we're just relaying personal experiences. I saw this happen twice in my peer group. Neither time were the females blameless(far from), and both times it was obvious that the fellas suffered a lot more.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say exactly...other than that derision simply doesn't feel right to me. Are they "assholes", or victims of the society that reared them?

 

[Woodsey]

"Nice Guys?, on the other hand, are passive-aggressive babies who feel entitled to a woman's affections simply because they've "been there for her"*."

HA! Hell-fucking-o 90% of the male forum users.

I think my favourite thing is when they won't shut the fuck up about how much they "respect women", right before going on to say that that's why they expect them to behave/dress only in a certain way, and be "lady-like" and 'just so'.

Other symptoms of being a Nice Guy include thinking you're 'chivalrous', claiming you do everything for a girl and expecting this to mean she owes you emotional allegiance, saying girls only go for arse holes, etc. etc.

Actual nice people never have to use the clarification that they are "a nice guy".

 

[Cephei Mordred]

As I said in my first post on the thread, don't love me because I'm beautiful. If a woman doesn't love me when I'm weak and worthless, why should I believe her feelings are sincere when I do become more valuable and productive?

Love with conditions is not really love, is it?

So much this... The women who expect men to be some kind of rockstar (and the reverse is true also) are the same as the ill touted Nice Guy because they have unrealistic expectations. 'Be amazing or I won't give you the time of day.' vs 'I gave you presents why won't you like me?' Aren't they equally as noxious?

Well, one is deceptive, and the other isn't, so it's not actually quite the same. Also, might I add that it's a bit much to expect unconditional love while being a worthless human being? Talk about unrealistic expectations, not to mention an entitlement complex. Lay off the Bronte, CM

Okay, Kirby, that was uncalled for.

To say that I have to be of value in order to receive love is the same is saying that I have to justify my existence on earth to others.

To say that it's 'entitled' of me to actually believe in unconditional love, which necessitates actually being unconditional and not contingent on being awesome or great, is simply ridiculous.

 

[mega48man]

but i'm a nice guy! without the tm!!! i guess that's why i've been so lonely for such a long time :C

and that's part of why there's so many Nice Guytm's out there, because being a nice like guys like me never gets us anywhere because everyone else around us is mean and wants to crush our hopes and aspirations.

 

[Towels]

Don't underestimate Nice Guys(TM). Once they have suffered enough rejection, they will be at an impasse: Either accept that being nice alone will not attract the women they want, or become so confounded by it they will start to think that treachery and manipulation is perfectly fair (and even required) in this cold, cruel world. With assholes in pop culture giving them pointers, capricious women around them constantly proclaiming their love for bad-boys, their lady friends taking pity on their loneliness, and a will to refuse to suffer and loose again, Nice Guys(TM) can actually be quite toxic.

Most nice guys (both types) watching "My Best Friend's Girl" will be repulsed by Dane Cook's blunt asshole character even though Freddie Prince Jr's Nice Guy(TM) character is just as manipulative and even less honest.

I love this article, and this column just won a new fan. I would love to see the flip side of gender: The difference between sassy women and just plain bitchy ones.

 

[Flying Dagger]

What a fantastic end to the article!

What I have noticed is girls want to find a twat and then get to know him and find he's nice. Why this is i have no idea.

Girls prefer confidence to people being nice...

Edit: on re-reading this I realise I sound bitter - as someone who both found someone who appreciated a nice guy, I realise I have no call to be.

However - attracting her made me change how I act to other girls... turns out I'm much better at attracting girls by being an obnoxious prick then I ever was as a gentleman.

 

[Count Lieberkuhn]

I'm a regular nice guy. I'm with a nice girl who is often hit on for being very good-looking and into games. We have an extremely healthy, trusting relationship that started out as a friendship, and since developed into something more. We've broken up twice before, and the second time we went on a 2-year hiatus, during which time neither of us found somebody better. We both matured and dealt with some of our own hardships in that time and have since gotten back together, with resounding success, and have been together for a very long time now.

Point is, nice guys don't finish last. They lose the 100m sprint, but win the marathon. I think that Lara really doesn't seem to understand that she doesn't represent every girl on the planet, and is extremely derogatory of nice guys because that's not what she likes, and I don't think she deserves this article spot. The advice is often rage-inducingly bad, and at best can only set you up for a dead-end relationship with a little sex if you're lucky. All men are different, as are all women, and you can't state generalisations to be fact in these articles.

This is all the advice people need: Be 90% yourself. Try to hide the bad habits and don't fart, but otherwise be yourself. Be proud of your nerdy interests, and try to find someone that shares a lot of them, but don't try to make them like something they have no interest. Secondly, don't be ashamed to wait for someone worthwhile. Being single is preferable to being in a dead-end relationship, trust me.

I think that Susan Arendt should write one of these. I can almost guarantee that the advice will be a whole lot better, as well as being from a perspective that is of far more use to the Escapist's readers.

 

[head desk tricycle]

lol the whole thing is literally just "if you're doing nice things for a girl in exchange for sex, it doesn't count unless you tell the girl first," over and over and over, but then at the last paragraph it goes off on an insane rant about stuff that has nothing to do with anything that came before. Ironically, the writer was actually trying to clarify the message of an earlier article that confused a lot of people.