No Right Answer: Best Animal Ever

[bdcjacko]

Lions suck, tigers rule.

You know the cowardly tiger? No you don't, it is the cowardly lion. Plus tiger will kill a guy just out of boredom. Also tigers are the real king of the jungle, they just let lion be called that to not hurt their pride.

 

[RJ 17]

While there have indeed been a number of great animals brought up in this topic, I'm afraid they're all complete losers compared to the truly ultimate animal on this planet.

Spoiler: Ladies, Gentlemen, Fellow Escapists...I give you: The Water Bear.

Can your nominee survive in the vacuum of space? Is it damn-near immune to radiation? Can it resurrect itself after 120 years of being dead? Yeah, I thought not.

Runner up goes to the shrimp that kills it's prey by dividing by O.

Spoiler: The Pistol Shrimp, killing its targets with imploding paradoxes.

 

[Tombfyre]

I think we were just treated to a rant about his spirit animal or something.

 

[el_kabong]

Cows. They give us steak and hamburger (tastes awesome), leather (looks awesome), and milk (makes my Lucky Charms awesome). Sorry, lions, but you really haven't provided me with anything. Uncool, bro.

 

[K.ur]

What about humans, i like most of them.

 

[Lhianon]

Best Animal Ever

In honor of Thanksgiving as well as Chris' birthday tomorrow, we present 7 + minutes of Chris ranting about his favorite animal. Show your family, they'll thank you.

Watch Video

i am kinda sorry, but chris is allmost completly wrong about lions & hyenas.
you know the reason why lions can be this lazy? they are the scavengers, in fact they use their strength to chase away other predators from the game thoose predators hunted.
you know the reason lions "hate" hyenas? it is because hyenas are actually the ones that are the hunters, the lions just chase them away to steal the food the hyenas hunted.
you know the reason why male lions have to be so vigilant about other male lions? it is this way because if a male lion takes over a "pride", he will kill every single little lion baby so the genes of his predecessor will not survive, he also does it to hasten the reproductive cicle of the females, so essentially 'kill babies to fuck the moms', very classy -.- Now, if a male hyena tried to pull the same stunt in a pack, the females WILL kill him and serve his body as a happy meal to the lions.
also, while we are discusing the social differences between hyenas and lions, if a pack of hyenas kills an animal, the first members of the pack that are allowed to feed from it are the young hyenas who can't hunt by themself; if a pack of lions succesfully steals something from other animals, the alpha-male will bully his way to be the first to feed from it, sometimes even to the detriment of his own children. also, female and male hyenas hunt together as equals, so if you want to stress the "equalist" angle, in the lion society, the male is a lazy, child-murdering rapist while the females have to do all the work; in the hyena society the burdens of life are equally distributed between the genders as far as that is possible (yes, the males of the pack also have to tend to the children and protect them, instead of being lazy like a lion).
in a nutshell, the most acurate despiction of a lion in the media was scar, mufasa and simba are the glorified, humanized versions our own cultural bias produced.
another thing about hyenas: the so-called "giggeling" of hyenas is actually a method of communication, think of it as a form of military short-talk to tell the other members of the pack where you are, which direction you are heading, what you smell and see in the vicinity and in which direction a possible target is heading. it is also used to coordinate the attack on the animal your pack intends to hunt down, and lastly as a warning mechanism to inform your pack when thoose pesky FEDs err lions come to steal your hard earned money err meat ;-)
sidenote: hyenas are actually not wolfs, they developed from the same ancestors that cats developed from, their evolutonary line just split very early from the other cats.

it says a lot about human society that we choose to glorify lions and try to give hyenas a bad name...

i apologize for any gramatical or ortographic mistakes, english is not my first language.

 

[jdarksun]

"One of those flavors? Lion."

I laughed.

 

[kailus13]

it says a lot about human society that we choose to glorify lions and try to give hyenas a bad name...

It's the whole "villains are ugly" thing that everyone seems to share. Thair "laughter" is also kinda creepy.

 

[Lhianon]

it says a lot about human society that we choose to glorify lions and try to give hyenas a bad name...

It's the whole "villains are ugly" thing that everyone seems to share. Thair "laughter" is also kinda creepy.

i agree, one has to keep in mind that in ancient human history there were good reasons to be cautious of malformed or sickly-looking individuals, the outward appeareance often told you (subconcously) about diseases or genetical errors that could have a negative impact on your tribe. over time, this formed a kind of cultural bias that is really difficult to get rid of and can have horrible consequences (we germans are especially guilty of this).
as a sidenote, i imagine that we sound equally creepy to hyenas as they sound to us xD

 

[RatherDashing89]

Ridiculous. Our Man Denton is the only true King of New York.

 

[Chris Pranger]

Cows. They give us steak and hamburger (tastes awesome), leather (looks awesome), and milk (makes my Lucky Charms awesome). Sorry, lions, but you really haven't provided me with anything. Uncool, bro.

Lion steaks make you stronger, lion boots make you look cooler, and lion milk can cure any illness known to man or beast, however I dare you to attempt to milk a lion.

 

[Jacked Assassin]

I'm surprised within the first 35 posts no one declared Dragons to The Best Animal Ever.
Then again Dragons Are....
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/619064

As for lions they aren't even The Best Cat Ever
The Best Cat Ever is
Cheetahs
http://cheetahs-rock.de/
Cheetahs unlike most Big Wild Cats are nearly domestic & have been used as a substitute for Hunting Dogs.
Cheetahs have claws similar to dogs.
Cheetahs can chirp like birds, which is freaking adorable.
Cheetahs are probably one of very few animals that have committed too much incest but don't look ugly.
Unfortunately Cheetahs are also endangered due how hard it is for them to survive birth & grow up.
Which is why its important for us Humans to prevent their extinction.
Also Cheetahs are the Cat People in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APrBdP0bBJM

But for The Best Animal ever (even though I don't care for them)
Humpback Whales http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_IV:_The_Voyage_Home
Caitian ( http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Caitian ) probably wouldn't have done what those Alien Humpback Whales did if Earth Cats went extinct.
An entire movie based on basically The Federation bricking their pants & having to go into the past to prevent further destruction from Alien Whales by bringing Humpback Whales into the future.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Eh, lions are ok, but I prefer the Honey Badger. To quote the famous webvidoe: "Honey badger don't care, honey badger don't give a shit."

Though in terms of big cats, I've always preferred cheetahs to lions.

They're beautiful animals that are also the fastest land mammal, what's not to like?

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

As for lions they aren't even The Best Cat Ever
The Best Cat Ever is
Cheetahs
http://cheetahs-rock.de/
Cheetahs unlike most Big Wild Cats are nearly domestic & have been used as a substitute for Hunting Dogs.
Cheetahs have claws similar to dogs.
Cheetahs can chirp like birds, which is freaking adorable.
Cheetahs are probably one of very few animals that have committed too much incest but don't look ugly.
Unfortunately Cheetahs are also endangered due how hard it is for them to survive birth & grow up.
Which is why its important for us Humans to prevent their extinction.

Nice to see someone else shares the cheetah love around here...

 

[FPLOON]

Whoa, Chris' birthday is right before my mom's.

And Chris' birthday is MY birthday... AWESOME!

OT: What about ligers, Chris?

Spoiler: LIGERS, CHRIS!

http://kimbrieldean.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/liger-napoleon1.jpg?w=604

They have all of the awesomeness of a lion plus the awesomeness of tiger!! GOSH!!

 

[Branindain]

Lions don't have shit on hippos. An entire pride of lions will single out a lone hippo and still usually fail to kill it. Hippos are bigger, tougher, and despite being herbivores, have more powerful jaws.

I love hippos. Funniest animal video I ever saw was a baby hippo, jumping around and being a bratty little pain in the arse, on a full grown fucking CROCODILE. You could see the crocodile was pissed off but it was too scared to move because mummy hippo was lounging on the shore watching, and he knew he had to sit there and be a chew toy or she would fuck him up.

 

[Stupidity]

Mantis shrimps on the other hand are glorious: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp

This

 

[blackrave]

in the lion society, the male is a lazy, child-murdering rapist while the females have to do all the work

O_O
So that is where feminists got their "patriarchy" hypothesis
Everything starts to make sense now...
(except, no, nothing still makes any goddamn sense, but at least idea is kinda funny )

Anyway, totally agree on hyenas
Those are world's most underrated animals (or one of)
Efficient
Just
Caring
Kind
But noooo
"something that ugly and creepy must be evil and bad"
Goddamn ignorant biased specists!

Spoiler: spiders are on the same list

No not the big or highly poisonous ones, but ordinary house spiders
The unseen guardians standing between us and flies, mosquitoes and other annoying insects
But yet again stupid ignorant people will stomp them whenever possible

 

[PapaGreg096]

The lion is a wuss animal if you want to see something really badass honey badger

 

[soren7550]

I wonder if he had a little drink before filming this video..

I had similar thoughts while watching this.

OT: What, no love for owls?