North Korea threatens the US with a Nuclear War.

[lwm3398]

North Korea? Nuke us? Please, that'll never happen. Hey, what's that up in the sky? Is that... Is that black hail, or what?

Spoiler: Seriously, what the hell is... Ooooooh, now I get it...

Serious answer: No. It won't happen. You don't nuke a global superpower unless you feel like getting a few A-bombs (And F-bombs) thrown your way as well. It's a bluff, a bluff as stupid and unnecessary as someone with nothing but a pair of twos betting the farm. The world will never come to nuclear war unless we decide everyone needs to die. If someone attacks North Korea, North Korea's allies will attack the country who started it (if they felt like getting involved). If North Korea attacks the US, our allies, and probably the US, might attack North Korea. No country wants to risk global nuclear war for fear of getting their asses blow'd up.

Also, nukes will never be used as a war-ender like they were in world war two. That's because EVERYONE HAS NUKES. No one has the only nukes in the world anymore. There's no shock or awe. If we wanted to end, say, the war on terror, by nuking Iraq (Which will never happen because of the same reasons outlined above), we would be nuked right back. There are barely any countries without nukes, but since no one wants to be counter-bombed, no one is ever going to fucking use them. It'd just be nonsensical and reckless.

 

[gl1koz3]

I'm all for a power station and a food factory in a bunker protected against Sun'splosions. Somewhere on Mars. When this happens.

North Korea can be quite desperate, given the situation with food etc. We do know what desperate have to lose. Right... nothing. But I don't know much beyond.

 

[Chrono180]

If America's billons of dollars spent on nuke defense works, it shouldn't be that bad. If they don't, well, I might as well put on a cowboy hat and jump on a nuke.

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!"

In all seriousness though, since most of our major cities are halfway across the globe from North Korea, I say that America is mostly safe. There is the chance that they would nuke South Korea or (less likely) Hawaii, but if that were to happen, odds are America would glass N. Korea so hard there wouldn't be two bacterium to rub together.

 

[IsraelRocks]

Nukes are not NK's main weapon.
ALOT of artilery targeting Seoul IS

http://www.businessinsider.com/map-of-the-day-how-north-korea-could-destroy-seoul-in-two-hours-2010-5

 

[Estocavio]

Heres the thing though: If North Korea actually does something, theyre truly fucked. Every nation under the UN and NATO turns against them and their country wont even exist within about a week. Look at what happened to Japan, and that was BEFORE we had ICBM's and Mechanised Divisions of the military.

thats precisaly why im not really worried, entire world vs a small country run by a gnome.

Furthermore, im pretty sure about a decade ago we invented the technology to immobilise Nuclear Weapons - And besides, the US Government isnt selfrighteously ignorant; Theyd have a retaliation plan already, just sitting in wait...

 

[AwesomeFerret]

Looks like I'm moving to the UK a bit earlier than expected.

I wonder if Canada's safe?

Who would bother to nuke Canada?

Why take the chance? He should get to the UK as fast as he can. Even if there never is a war, he would still be better off for living in the UK.

 

[DarkLordofDevon]

Basically North Korea think they're big just because they can use nukes. The fact is - China probably won't stand by them. Russia definitely won't stand by them. Europe couldn't care less, so if they piss off America, they're going to get slapped back into place.

If I were North Korea I'd stop throwing stones at the school bully. Its only going to end in tears - for them. Leave South Korea alone, they've done nothing.

 

[Frungy]

Once you see the big picture you realise that North Korea is nothing but a convenient distraction that both the U.S. and China use for a lot of reasons.

China likes North Korea because the North Koreans don't speak to the U.S. so every time the U.S. wants to so much as send a postcard to North Korean they have to ask China to hand deliver it. China likes this.

The U.S. likes North Korea because the North Korean "threat" justifies their military bases in Japan and South Korea, and keeps the citizens of the U.S. nice and focused on the fear of atomic warfare rather than how their government is raping them for their tax dollars and is doing nothing.

North Korea likes all the attention because frankly they're half of a tiny country with no power, no food and no decent comedies on TV so they've got to do something to keep the population amused and not thinking about how edible their political leaders look.

Why North Korea will never attack? Because China would shoot down their missile in a heartbeat and then invade North Korea and beat them like a red-headed stepchild. Why? Because China is busy pursuing world domination through a strategy of cheap goods made by underpaid labour, and it's hard to sell stuff to other countries if nukes are flying all over the place.

The U.S. would shoot the missile down about 2 heartbeats later because the only target within range of North Korea's duct tape and chewing gum missiles is Japan... and if Japan, the second largest economy in the world, got nuked (again!) it would make the current recession look like a minor hiccup. If the Nikkei stock exchange went down for even an hour or two U.S. investors would panic and it would be the great depression all over again.

So, yeah, stop panicking and buying into the fear-mongering. North Korea wouldn't be allowed to nuke anyone, not by it's allies, not by it's enemies... and most of all not by itself. You see this is all posturing to build up nationalistic sentiment as Kim Il Jung's son prepares to take the throne/comfy cushion/dictator potty/whatever. Once he's whipped up enough international outrage to make people in North Korea feel that he's as big a man as his daddy then things will die down again.

This is a pretty simplistic analysis and there are larger issues, but basically it's all you need to know about the current situation.

 

[Sliverwings]

Time to move out of California. Let's pack up the Castro District and GTFO.

 

[Subzerowings]

I think that a lot of people don't realize that any war is bad.
If North Korea initiates war, then there will be casualties on at least one side. It may be small, but we're talking about deaths, which should probably be avoided.
If America doesn't go through with their seemingly useless military exercises, then perhaps North Korea will calm down again.
I believe that's the best thing to do.
People saying that America should just bomb/nuke North Korea probably don't give a shit about it's citizens.
When I talk about North Korea, I don't just mean their leader, but also their inhabitants.
I'm sure they don't all follow him.

 

[zombays]

Well, I'm off to Europe.

 

[Cheesus333]

The nukes aren't supposed to fall for another two years at best, 67 years at worst. Oh well, time to prepare for Yao Guai now.

Don't sound so sad. Until then we've got Nuka Cola and Jangles the Moon Monkey to look forward to

EDIT: Oh, wait. I live in England.

Uh... good luck with that C:

 

[snave]

You do realize that America was in the Korean war that was 60 years ago, right? And they actually had a reason to be there. It's basically fighting old battles, which is stupid, but I can see why we'd want to fight them.

Just to fact correct here. That "old battle" is technically not old. The Korean War never truly ended: a peace treaty was never signed. Really, both sides just gave up on fighting it. As such it stands to this day as the longest running currently-active military conflict in the world.

The situation is a heck of a lot more complicated than described here when you consider that the North has a history of relying on military threats to feed its citizens. Its one of those countries where the GDP is made up mostly from FOREIGN AID. And that said aid is often promised in return for scaling back on specific instances of recent aggression. This barely scratches the surface of the conflict, not to mention the tonnes of mild conspiracy theories about the US enjoying the "war" (an impenetrable country is pretty much the same as a big ol' ocean in terms of a boundary with an allied nation). Its a rather curious situation and one that is worth reading up on. And when I say reading up, I mean from scholarly sources or heck, good ol' Wikipedia, not the tabloids.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Hellloooooo, Cappital Wastelaaaand!!!
Here's a question for all of you faithful listeners:
Who the fuck decided it would be a good idea to give nuclear weapons to 10 year olds suffering from testosterone poisoning?

 

[Chipperz]

In all honesty, your country, if allied with South Korea, may be called in to help soon. Sadly, if an ally calls on you to help, you have to help. If you don't, you'll be labeled as a douchebag by other allies.

You know what? We HAVE helped and it's caused us no end of grief. Fuck it, if America wants to go bombing more small third world nations, I genuinely hope they have the stones to do it alone.

Just... Before America goes charging in (alone, dammit! ALONE! We want no part of this!), just remember that the attitude of "we have more stuff, better stuff, and we genuinely believe that right is on our side" has gotten your arses kicked for almost every war for the last sixty years by peasants with outmoded (and in many cases, utterly improvised) weapons, and this time you're going up against people who have nuclear weapons and the will to use them. Enjoy!

 

[sgtshock]

Oh America. Just kill the silly git already.

Believe me, I wish we could. But like someone else mentioned, North Korea has South Korea by the balls in the form of hundreds of artillery batteries ready to wipe Seoul of the face of the Earth. Plus, with the ridiculous amount of brainwashing, transparent as it may be, there's still probably a sizable portion of the population that actually believes Kim Jong il is god.

 

[Manji187]

This is the media aspect of geopolitics...how to look righteous while pursuing one's own interests. Nothing new really.

Nuclear war? Heh... like that is going to happen.